Episode 320: Red and Green Theory

[00:00:00] You already know what it is ladies and gents, most of the lovers always Donald Peasley Alongside of LaShawn It's another beautiful day here in NYC, I don't wanna hear him I heard like a little pause, I was like I was gonna go off I was gonna smack this fire over and get niggas out of here But it's another beautiful day here in NYC man, great to have you out here Great for y'all to, you know, hang out with the fellas If you're listening right now, that means you're a part of the Patreon

[00:00:28] If you're not, you know, subscribe to the Patreon right now We got three tiers, what was the first tier, Dom? Certified Good Guy That's a fact, that's where you get the pod early, ad-free All tiers are ad-free No more watching it, getting rudely interrupted by something you don't care about Febreze And I realize it's forcing people to stop watching, that's so unfair Yeah, cause it makes a quick goal, it's like bro, what the fuck are we doing? That's so unfair

[00:00:55] But yeah, sign up to the Patreon, you get all ad-free episodes Two episodes a week, bare minimum for a month The executive producer tier, where you can create your own podcast episode on What's A Good Guy Send us what you want us to talk about We may be able to call you, or if I really trust you and fuck with you, you could join us on the couch Y'all always got something to say, might as well tap in Facts, and then the last tier is the front row tier, where you get to sit next to me and Don Virtually of course

[00:01:25] Virtually of course, where we go live on Patreon every Saturday Right now we're doing, in tradition of the Brooklyn Museum You know, first Saturdays they throw their parties Well, first Saturdays of every month, we gonna go live for all tiers But going forward, every weekend after that, it's for our front row tier And you can sit next to me and Don Fuck with us man Yes sir Yes sir Did I knock that out with no pressure? Yeah You know what you're good looking, John?

[00:01:54] We was recording earlier, like a A test? A promo ad It was just bad at it Nigga, I ain't gonna press you I mean, it wasn't that bad, bro It wasn't that bad You ain't even speaking on camera and mic forever, bro But um Hilarious I guess we gotta start off with the same way we always started off That's right That's right My rose this week Damn, I ain't gonna front, bro My whole week was pretty good That's what we like, that's what you like Smell the roses I feel like Rosebud Thorne forces you to, you know Find a rose

[00:02:23] I ain't gonna lie I gotta show up with a rose this week That was Just to make her happy Do what you gotta do to make her happy L.A. L.A. Nah, that was me I actually, that actually That was my fault Look, look, this nigga He got this He's at this He's crazy Niggas getting a fade, it's crazy Um Look at Bud My Bud I'm looking forward to my birthday trip, man I can't Okay I can't stop watching those TikTok videos Two weeks in a row That's what it'll do

[00:02:53] The whole boy I've been I'm sorry to watch Lilo and Stitch at this point Just watching shit You seen they made a Live action Live action version of Lilo and Stitch And I literally We literally just shot a Lilo and Stitch Um We did a shoot for Lilo and Stitch too The other day Oh, that's fire Yeah, and we started doing shit like that When certain shows are coming back Like Happy Gilmore is coming back When I do a shoot like that Mm Um Thorne No Thorne?

[00:03:23] I'm not gonna lie to you, bro I usually When I feel like I'm about to have I had like a bad moment at work Like frustrated But it didn't last too long I kind of get into like a positive headspace Like, bro, it's cool Don't worry about it It's not gonna last too long That's fire Um Yeah Okay That's tough I like that Um For me, my rose Probably getting this haircut Two haircuts in a row Every week You back to getting them weekly Yeah, yeah I text my ball But like, yo, I'm back, man Don't do it weekly Let your hair grow a little bit No, no, no

[00:03:52] Yeah, let your hair grow a little bit But if you want his hair to grow He gotta cut it off What, only? I don't want my hair I don't want it to grow It's fine You don't want your beard to grow? I like it I just gotta treat it better You do You gotta exfoliate under the skin A little bit better You want me to do it for you? On the pod? I'm cool I'm cool, brother Contact, baby Why you gotta What's up with you, bro? Contact That's your bro He trying to take care of you Alright, it's okay I can't groom you? Whoa That's crazy Whoa

[00:04:22] That's crazy Whoa Whoa That was crazy That was hilarious We gotta put back Quarney Cause Quarney be judge You on that side Shout out to Quarney Shout out to Dave Shout out to Sha They're not here in the building But That was crazy That was ridiculous Oh please, it's okay Snigger to Pied Piper What you doing? Pied Piper Oh man Yeah This week My first experiential event With my job Is the first event

[00:04:51] That I've been working on Since my first day I made a month So I made a month Congrats, man It's been a month already? Damn, it is the beginning of the month You're right Jeez But yeah, so We have our first experiential event That we've been working on Since I got there That's this week So I'm really excited about that It's gonna be a good time I would give you I would give the details on camera But no Not yet Maybe Maybe later in the week Check my Instagram My Instagram stories Close friends Maybe

[00:05:21] And yeah I don't got it doing either That's fine Solid week And I'm gonna specify I don't consider When things get tough at work To be a thorn I was talking to Reality About that shit Because we had a six hour brainstorm On Wednesday Dang And I was a little intimidated by You did that after work? In work At work Oh, with her? No, no I was texting Reality I was talking about No, this is work Okay Six hour brainstorm at work Okay, okay And I was You know, Reality Wanted something

[00:05:50] Was talking to me And I was telling her like Y'all Today's not a good day It was just a lot of work And it's just She was like Yo We asked for this Like, you know what I'm saying? Like And I'm like You're right Like There's no way Sitting here for six hours In a room full of Creative people Talking about different ideas For whatever What we're working on I can't see that as a burden Just because I'm tired Or like I'm a little hungry right now Like, nah It's a part of it It's a part of it Wait, six hours We don't eat it? No, we ate

[00:06:20] Oh, okay We ate 100% We got food But I'm saying like I couldn't eat When I was hungry Hungry Yeah, yeah Because the food was coming in And whatever Like It's what we asked for So, you know I don't consider those thorns Like, you know It's just It's a part of what I deserve So Yeah, but I'm good

[00:06:52] I'm good It was good It was good It was good to see him In Playing sports That was That was such a rewarding Feeling to watch him Oh my god, you're calling me right now To watch him play Also watching him handle his first loss I I I I I I I First I I And

[00:07:37] I I'm like, that's not how you play sports. He wasn't too pleased with his goalie. They lost 4-0, and he was like, yo, my goalie didn't show up. I said, technically, y'all didn't show up. He's not supposed to get it that far. Yeah, he wasn't. Y'all didn't stop the ball. Y'all didn't do this. And he was like, can we go practice right now? And I'm like, nigga, I'll take this. Process this, how you feel. Focus on what you need to get better.

[00:08:05] I was like, yo, this is your first time playing a professional team sport. Like your first game. First organized anything. I don't know what you thought was going to happen. He's going in and just start wilding out. And I played against a team who played with each other last year. So they have more experience. So just get used to the growing pains. Let's not point the finger. Let's focus on ourselves. And we had a nice long talk in the car before he got out.

[00:08:36] About that. So that was my rose. Watching him. Watching him play sports. And I almost teared up. Because when I got there, I got there. The traffic from my place to the soccer field was just ridiculous. But that's on me. I should have left maybe 30 minutes earlier. But when I got there, the game fairly started. And he saw me. He just ran off the field and hugged me. And he almost cried. I was like, bro, but you're still... Your coach is about to chew you up for doing this.

[00:09:06] But that was such a warm moment. I was like, yeah, this dad shit. You guys got some perks. Maybe. Somebody get me. You know. Let me drop this load in you real quick. Let me fill up your tank real quick, please. Let me fill up your tank. Let me fill up your tank. Let me fill up your tank. Another rose. I got two roses.

[00:09:34] We did really well on TikTok this week. Oh, did we? Facts. Extremely. Like, we did extremely well on TikTok. Y'all love us. Yeah. I think we... In three days, we garnished over 10,000 views. More than that? Probably. What? Way more than that. Honey, nigga. I think we cleared a honey. Oh, yeah. I think we cleared a honey. I think it was organic as well. Fucking algorithms, bro. I had to ask LA, what'd you do? I don't know.

[00:10:03] When you ask that question, me and him just finished talking about that shit. What the fuck? Because if you look at the middle post, it ain't really doing anything. So I'm like, all right, let me try again tomorrow. But let me try something with... That's something in the realm of what they loving us for right now. And that shit got smacked out the park. Oh, D. My mans came up to me yesterday. Like, yo, I saw you on my For You page. I said... Like, me and you? He's like, oh, he's like, yeah, the podcast. I said... Oh, yeah.

[00:10:31] I'm like, yo, I know I didn't post no basketball clip. Like, that shit was funny. Yeah, so that was good to see because that was also discouraging as well. Like, yo, what is it going to take? TikTok, we were shadow banned for a very long time. So I don't know. Right now, I'm trying this thing of posting at 6 o'clock. I'm of the belief that nothing really works. Yeah. Yeah, you just got to keep going and do what you do. Yeah, but... We went from posting every day to posting once in a while and it was like...

[00:10:58] Yeah, because the everyday shit was working and then I guess they caught on to that so they slowed us down. So are they against us or not? I don't know. I don't know. But... Niggas are here, nigga. Just take a few views. But yeah, that worked. My Bud, something I'm looking forward to. As crazy as it sounds, this has nothing to do with what happened earlier, Don. I'm looking forward to the day a woman comes to my crib in like a trench coat and nothing under.

[00:11:32] You putting that energy out there. I keep manifesting it, brother. I kind of... It might be closer than you think. Now I'm wild today. Now I'm wild. Now I know I'm wild. I'm wild. Now I'm bugging. I'm looking forward to that. I need to experience that. What color trench coat are you envisioning? Khaki. A little khaki jones? Yeah, khaki tan. Hat or no hat? Hat?

[00:12:02] Yeah, like sometimes... I never wear those. No. They don't take away our mics. They're like you're wilding. Yeah, bro. They fucking with us. You're wilding. What you mean? Like she got a hat on? Like a little fedora, a little vogue. Fedora? I don't know. What is the San Diego car? The car is San Diego vogue. You know what I'm saying? Nah. No hat? No hat. Don't stand what you want. What the hat? How the hair? I want her to... She got to have an umbrella. It got to be raining outside. Yeah, umbrella. Umbrella wavy.

[00:12:31] Umbrella wavy. Yeah, facts. I ain't gonna front me down like that. That patent leather type look of a trench coat. You want a cat woman? Yeah, man. Yeah, that shit sitting right there. Okay, okay. She just dropped that shit. Boom. Boom. And I don't know what music to start playing. What song? Nigga, you tell us, bro. Y'all didn't... Damn, some Marvin Gaye Pop. Let me lick you up and then... Nah, I ain't doing it. I ain't doing it. I ain't doing it. I ain't doing it.

[00:13:01] Good tonight, baby. Yo. Damn. Damn. Um... So let's see. I might have put that in my wishes. Then, then, then, uh... You know, maybe a nice red. Top and bottom. You know. Matching. For sure. With the red nails. That's what I'm looking forward to. We gonna manifest that. Manifest that for you, bro. Freak. Nigga said done.

[00:13:31] Nigga gave me a disclaimer. It's the funniest shit ever. My, uh... My... What's that? Thorn? Thorn. Not getting that... Picking up that flight? You want it? Nah. Nah. Um... My thorn this week kind of goes into today's episode. Kind of... I'm pretty sure Joe didn't check the notes. Um... I mean, I did. I was in there last night. So did you do it? I did. Well... Oh, you... I did my part.

[00:14:01] I just didn't put it in a note. Okay, okay, okay. If you're gonna do it. Yeah, we all gonna do it. Okay, okay. So... So... My thorn is... Well, I felt like I had to uninstall the revolving door in my life and put a new door where I could control when I open it or close it because, um...

[00:14:25] I don't like the concept of people being able to come and go as they please. Um... So... I removed the red and... But the reason why I felt like I have to remove the revolving door is because of the way people treat you, um... Um... When they're not too fond of you at that current moment.

[00:14:52] And because of that experience that happened, it made me think of Kojo's, uh, red and green theory. Red and green. Right? Right? But... But... In the red and green theory, in my mind, I'm like, yo, I've been in the green with you longer than you, uh... Than I've ever... Matter of fact, I don't even think I'm in the red in this situation in particular. But you moving like... I've been in the red since you met me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hate it.

[00:15:21] I don't like that. So, so... Should we explain to the... Yes, yes. So, so, uh... With... With the red and green theory, it's something that Kojo has mentioned on the pod ever since he's, uh, been here full time. And I think today is where we can finally go in depth of the... The red and green theory. So, Kojo, lead the way. Yeah, let's do it. Um... So, yeah, I'll start by saying, um... The first time I kind of developed the verbiage. Obviously, not the... Not the mindset, but the verbiage of what the red and green theory was.

[00:15:51] I was, uh... We was... I was with the bros. We was watching... It was just bro night watching sports. Um, and we were talking about moving in together. Like, potentially, like, if that was ever, like, a reality. That's fine. In the friend group. Like, yo, like, would you live with him? Would you live with him? Would you live with him? And one of the friends was like, no, I wouldn't live with him because, uh, he doesn't manage his money well. You know? Wow. That's a real conversation for me. Right. Real ass combos. Yeah.

[00:16:16] But the person who was said to was kind of, like, offended by it in a sense because they felt like they have been doing better money management at the time. Mm-hmm. He's like, yeah. So, instead of being offended by his statement, you have to understand that he's only thinking

[00:16:45] of you in the way that he has known you. It's the... Perfecto. You are in the red with him. Mm-hmm. If you continue to manage your money the correct way and get to a point where you have now become this person who has now moved out of the red and into the green, then if he said that about you, you could be like, yo, bro, I've been, uh, for this amount of time, like, I get what I was in the past, but look at my track record now. So, that's when I first introduced that, and that's when I started to see if I could develop,

[00:17:12] if I could use that concept of thinking in a lot of different areas in life, and I did. So, that's how I came about with the whole red and green theory, and I tried to apply it to a lot of things when I'm speaking to people and I'm giving advice. So, if you know me, if you've spoken to me about, like, if you picked up the phone and said, yo, Joe, I need some advice, and it was, you were telling me your perspective about this situation, and there's another person involved, and I would always break it down and say, yo, you might be in the red with this person. Mm-hmm. Or if you're in the green, and so they maybe looked at it the wrong way.

[00:17:40] So, yeah, man, that's the red and green theory in a nutshell, and, uh... Do you think you're in the red with anybody? Do I think I'm in the red with anybody? Uh, not really. Not really. I think I... Damn, but you'd have to specify, because it's... I think it's a vast... It's such a... It can be applied to anything, so I can't really focus on the whole thing. I need to figure out, like, a situation.

[00:18:08] So, what are the subsectors to the red and green that... Anything. It could be anything. It could be friendship. It could be, uh... Like, it could be money management. It could be, uh, reliability. It could be... It could be relationships. It could be, uh... Financial. It could be anything. It could be anything. No. It could be anything. LA, I'll ask you a question. Mm-hmm. Um, do you care if you're in the red with anybody?

[00:18:34] No question, boy. Do I care if I'm in the red with anybody? Because you're very on your... Taking nothing personal. You're focusing on yourself, you know? Oh, boy's cracking. I like that. It depends. If it... It depends if I feel like I'm in the green with them. Mm-hmm. And they just have... And they think I'm in the red. Okay. That's where we will have the dialogue. Mm-hmm.

[00:19:04] If I know I'm in the red with anybody, then I purposely am in the red. I really don't care. Yeah. Yeah. So, so... That... That's neglect. That's all... That's right there. What you're describing is neglect. When you're in the green with somebody or when you're in the green in general as an individual, it doesn't always, you know, attach to another person. But when you're in the green in a situation, if somebody cannot acknowledge that, it's... And I'm talking about if it's clear. That's just neglect, you know? Oh, on their part? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

[00:19:34] Like I always... Like in the simplest form, like I always say, if I'm 32 years old turning 33 in July, most people in my life know me to be a punctual person. I'm on time. I'm early to shit. And if I go a month, I am. For sure. Well... In my life. Nah. I'm listening to Coach. I'm trying to figure out what's going on. But the face... Now that face, right, in my head is like... If Don was like dead-ass serious, like, what you talking about? I would be like, nah. Like, literally, I'm always early. I've had...

[00:20:04] I think it's been instilled since a child. Like, since a child. I always had perfect attendance in school. And my dad was very, very strict about being on time and all that stuff. And I've carried it over into being an adult. Yeah. In this recent time, I've tried to now try to alter it and come to shit a little later because I don't want to be the first person there. And I'm tired of waiting on people. But even yesterday, I tried it. Got there 15 minutes early to where I was going. But I'm saying that to say, if somebody was to sit there and tell me, yo, Joe, you mad. Late? You're always late.

[00:20:36] Oh! Neglect, bro. Do you know me? Okay, okay, okay, okay. So, what if they feel that way based off of their introduction to you? So, you see how overall... Your overall consensus is a punctual person, right? But say I just met you this year. And every time you showed up, you were late. Well, yeah, that's a new calendar. Well, that's a new calendar. A new calendar of time.

[00:21:02] So, yeah, you can adjust to that and understand that you can't use your past wins in a situation that's in a nutshell right there. But why not? But why not? Yeah, because there's this saying, right? I'm experienced with it. There's this saying, yesterday's home runs don't win today's games. So, in an argument where I can bring up... Yo, I've been in the green with you for mad long, but in this predicament, you striked out.

[00:21:30] Can I use my yesterday's home runs to try to win today where I say, hey, Joe, yes, okay, today I didn't show up for you, but what about this, that, and the third? Well, yes. I feel like you can. Yeah. That's like somebody always doing something for you. The one time you say no, it's like, yo, bro, why are you saying no for me? Yeah. You can. Again, the term yesterday's home run don't win today's game is true in a general sense. Yeah.

[00:21:55] But if you're shrinking it down to interaction, one-on-one, and if your experience with me is what it is, we're not going to just erase it because of... We can't just erase who somebody is, who somebody has shown you who they are. You can't. You just can't do that. It's not fair to the experience of you and that person or you and those people. Mm-hmm. You know? If, like I said, if I was bad at managing my money and my friends were super serious

[00:22:24] about getting an apartment and doing that and they told me straight to my face, like, yo, like, I don't know if you could be a part of this because nigga, rent be due on the first. We can't play around with that. Mm-hmm. I got to take my personal feeling out of that and understand, like, nah, you have been bugging with the bread, bro. Like, you know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. Get better. Mm-hmm. Go get you some money. Go figure out a method that works for you. Mm-hmm. And work your way out of that. Work your way out of that hole.

[00:22:54] Go live on your... Maybe go live on your own full little bitch. Prove to niggas that, you know what I mean? That's how you fast track it. Mm-hmm. Get into the green. You don't got to spend the same amount of time that you was in the red to get into the green. You can fast track it. Now, at that point, am I doing it for myself or am I doing it for them? You're doing it for yourself, too? You don't want to be perceived that way. Yeah, because you could... Yeah, that and you want to prove... Because at the end of the day, even if your friends state it, nine times out of ten, it's probably true. Mm-hmm. So you want to prove that for yourself as well. Like, yo, I'm in the red in my own life. Mm-hmm.

[00:23:24] That's the harshest reality where, yeah, everybody could say, yo, you in the red with them, blah, blah, blah, blah. But when you realize in your own life you're in the red, that's when it's kind of... That's when you really got to whip it into shape. So fuck what somebody else saying. I got to do it for myself. The other part of this conversation is what is the value or how do you guys value your track record? Right? Mm-hmm. There's people who don't care about how they perceive it. A face card? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I know I do. I think... Me, too.

[00:23:52] It's something that I really, really enjoy is knowing that when somebody speaks about me, when I'm not around, one of the first things they'll say is, oh, that's a solid dude. Like, that's a high honor. Like, knowing that people consider you solid, firm, man of their word, therefore it's people, honorable, respectful, not a creep. You know what I'm saying? Things of those nature. That's high praise. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

[00:24:21] And that's coming from people that have known me for years or people that have just met me in the last three, four, five. And that is important. If you can carry that track... I value my track record a lot. Cool factor. Me, too. Me, too. It means a lot to me to know that people who know me from basketball are like, nah, Joe was always like, you know what I mean? A good hooper. Like, da, da, da. People who know me from music, oh, nah, the nigga, he know what he's talking about. You know what I'm saying? Like, the graphic shit. Any phase in my life that you know me of, like, I really appreciate it.

[00:24:48] What's one thing that you love people speak highly of you about? So many things I can say. One that strikes you. Say them all. Just the way that I put myself out there for my people. Okay. You know? Just, you know, it used to...

[00:25:12] I did have a moment of, like, of time, and LA knows this, where I kind of was down on myself about it, you know, because I know that I am... I'm a bright light. I know I'm a bright light. I may be brighter than some of the people in my life. And, you know, it could come off as me getting in some of these people's way because of that, even if my intentions are not to do that at all.

[00:25:43] And with that, you know, maybe I've had moments of weakness where I've tried to, like, not shine as bright, even if my purpose was to, you know, make sure I elevate everybody around me. But all in all, once I got through that, I think I realized that that's one of my favorite things to hear is that I'm willing to, you know,

[00:26:06] I'm willing to put myself out there to make sure that the people in my life are rising or living their dreams. Like, I've been so full of joy knowing that Reigns having his first experiences with, like, being in Vibe magazine and Billboard and, you know, Yaya was telling me how yesterday she came with one of her good friends to the studio.

[00:26:33] And ironically, her good friend was the first person to take her to her first ever, like, outside of Yonkers studio session. And it was, like, in this hole-in-the-wall type of shit. And then yesterday, her same friend brought her to Sony Music. And she's like, yo, Yaya, like, look how far you've come. And I'm like, me sitting there, me and her talking about it, and I'm just like, yo, like, she's, like, you know, thankful for me to be able to put her in an environment where people are now able to see her even more than they did before.

[00:27:02] So to me, that's one of my favorite things to hear about when people, that's, my track record is, like, I'm going to do that for you. And the thing is, I really don't gain anything from it on a personal. It's just knowing that I've done it for my people is enough for me. I swear. Like, I always say, yo, I hear about the job of managing artists, and, like, I hear it in the grandstand. I don't do, I don't have, I don't make no money from managing nobody. I'm actually putting more money into it, you know what I'm saying?

[00:27:30] Or taking more L's so that they could shine. I don't care. You know what I'm saying? That's investing, investing in people. So that's one of my favorite things about hearing that people say about me is how solid I am for my people. What about you, Allah? I don't know. You don't know? Mm-mm. You don't know what you're... At the same time, I don't care. You care. That's what we have in this convo. Not as much. There's a care there. Not as much. Not as much from randoms.

[00:28:01] No, you're friends and family. Nah, I think I'm still... My four agreements. Which one? Don't take it personal? Yeah. So where I stand with people now based off of their perception of me, I don't really give too much thought. But matter of fact, in fact, I think...

[00:28:25] Is there a world where no matter what green you've done, a red can overpower all the green that you've done? Yes. I think that's possible in all cases, man. You could always... You could be the greatest guy in the world. You do one fucked up thing. Do some wild shit? Yes, you're done. Yeah. I think... I think... Fuck it. We going there. I think R. Kelly, right? I knew he was going to say that. Yo, I swear, bro. I swear, bro.

[00:28:55] You can make the greatest music in the world, bro. Us hearing that, bro, you're fucked up individuals. Bro, I swear, R. Kelly is... I'm sorry, front row, whoever's watching. And we know it, so I'm going to just say it. I'm not saying this in defense of nothing. I'm just saying. That nigga has given us... And I love music, so I'm speaking from that perspective. That nigga has given us countless hits, classics. He has written them. Written them? Written them. He's one of the greatest artists of all time, bro. Yeah, but... Does it take away from what he did? Yeah, it does not take away from what he did.

[00:29:25] And unfortunately, he just has to be after... You have to go through what you're going through. You are red forever, bro. Yeah, it's over with. You are red forever, bro. And the thing is, your green don't go nowhere. I think niggas can still sit there and say, yo, he got hella shit in here. Ah, people... No, I'm saying his remnants are in the green. Okay, okay. Like, the stain is there in the green, but the stain in the red is huge. So, it just is what it is. You ever been in the red for choosing yourself? Let me think about that. Been in the red.

[00:29:55] Because I... I'm in... Can you explain a little bit about how that... Okay, so I'm in... I can say this. I'm in the red with somebody I was super close to. Mm-hmm. Because I chose myself. Um, I had a... This is a while back. I had a gathering, and I chose not to invite this person. Mm-hmm. And they were invited to every other thing. Mm-hmm. That one time I invited them because they were fucking with one of my... One of my female friends.

[00:30:24] I was like, okay, you can't be here this time. Like, you made it kind of awkward. Made an executive decision. I had to. Mm-hmm. And then off that one decision, I'm in the red forever. Niggas talking shit about me, all of that. That's not nice. But it's not... I'm okay with that, though. I'm okay with it. I chose a decision that was best for me. Honestly, I don't even think it was... I don't think that decision to not invite them was even best for you. I think it was best for the environment. Mm-hmm. Um, so you don't have to personalize that decision. Mm-hmm.

[00:30:52] Um, the person who decided to put you in the red for that... Mm-hmm. May not have... Did you ever have a conversation about... I feel like the shit talking and all this other shit made it like, I don't really want to talk, because if I want to talk, I'm probably going to want to fight you. Yeah, shit. That's extreme. But the thing is, that seems like a very simple fix, though, right? Like, y'all sit there... But certain people don't know how to communicate, though. When they're... Uh... They feel a way when they're not... For this example, they're not invited somewhere. You take it personal.

[00:31:22] Like, yo, you don't fuck with me no more? Mm-hmm. In terms of that, so now emotions are... The way it goes from what it is to that is crazy. You know? You're dealing with men and emotions sometimes. I'm sure that was not the case. It wasn't. Like, what? Like, I'm being like, I really do fuck with you, bro. I might not be inviting you because I fuck with you. Like, yo, bro, I ain't gonna front. I don't want to make this awkward. Yeah. It's already awkward, bro, having this whole shit right now. I'm good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think I'm in the red with a lot of people in life.

[00:31:52] Like, not on, like, on some... I'm not saying I did some fucked up shit. I probably did some shit that they didn't like. That'd be fucked up sometime, though. It depends how you're viewing it, though. It depends how you're viewing it. When you say fucked up shit, do you mean, like, something that affects them and multiple people? It was probably them. They felt their way about it. Now, I wouldn't say it's some fucked up shit. I think that's a wild phrase to use.

[00:32:21] I would say... It's just something that they didn't like. It's just... Very simple. I don't know who... I don't know who considers me a red nigga. Like, even from that first question that was asked, I don't know who could consider me that. I think I should be in the green with most. Bro, you could do the best you can, bro. You're going to be in the red with somebody. Like, you can literally try your hardest to please everybody. You're going to be in the red sooner or later. That's the fucked up part, bro, because if you try to please everybody, bro, you displease yourself. We all wearing a little bit of red today. That's hilarious.

[00:32:51] Maybe I should have wore a green hoodie. That would have been cool. Yeah. But, no, I feel you. I just... The other part is the self-accountability and looking in the mirror when it comes to the red and green theory, because if you think about... If you think about how many times that you've done something for yourself or for others, and you know it's not enough, like I said, there's no reason to get defensive

[00:33:19] about somebody telling you about their truth that they're experiencing with you, and whether you shrink... L.A. shrunk it to, like, oh, this is just an experience of time, like when I mentioned the lateness thing, that would be the one and only time where I sit and look at myself and be like, you know what? Shut up. I fight this. No, you don't shut up. Like, yeah, just don't even fight this, bro. What's more tough?

[00:33:47] Being in the red with a friend or with your shorty? Your shorty. By far. By far. I could tell you... I think being red romantically... It's tough. It's tough. Okay, I can explain. It's been a while. I can explain this a little bit. So, there was a time when... I just got back from fucking... No, I'm Atlanta, bro. Just got back from Atlanta. So, I'm happy to see my niggas. I'm outside, boom, boom. Low-key neglected my shorty a little bit.

[00:34:17] Ain't seen her as much. She put me to the side one day. She's like, yo, bro. I don't see you no more. What's going on? You in love with your friends? Like, my nigga, I don't... She ain't mean like that. I don't know crazy. She's like, yo, bro. We in a relationship. What's going on? Just to have that conversation was like, oh, boy. And she just kept staring at me like, yo, bro. What's going on? Was it red or green back then? That shit was red, bro. Weren't you in the green, though? What you mean? What you mean? I mean, I'm saying this in the most honorable way. Y'all was in Atlanta together

[00:34:45] for a long time. Yeah. That's mad green. But does that... That's mad. You come home. Baby, please. I miss my dogs. Like, you gotta understand. But remember, though, I'm flying back every month to go hang... To be out here. So I have to ask, obviously... Oh, so this is when you was flying to... Wait, wait, wait. This is when I moved back. But he's referring to the time when I was in Atlanta. I was in the green the whole time. Right. You were in the green because you was there. But I came back.

[00:35:15] My hang around was much. Okay. How long was this going on for? Just for full contextual purpose? Damn near almost all summer, bro. Okay. So... Like with no balance? It's no... I ain't gonna front... There was no balance. I probably... There was no balance. I'm not gonna lie to you. Summer, it was up. I'm here. I haven't had a full New York summer in like, what? It was two years. That's what I'm talking about with this self-accountability. So her saying that, I was like, damn.

[00:35:47] Okay. To feel like being in the red, like now I'd be like, I ain't gonna front. I'm gonna go hang out with shorty. Like if I gotta neglect my friends, I think my friends will understand more than my shorty would. Of course. Of course. Of course. So I ain't on front. I'd rather keep my house happy or I ain't gonna front. I'll talk to y'all niggas on Xbox or something. I'll chop it up with y'all niggas another time. You know niggas do not care, bro. Niggas, I ain't got no front for y'all niggas. Niggas don't care. You know what I'm saying? If you did, I wouldn't want it. Keep that over there. Damn. That's what?

[00:36:17] Okay. I understand that. Sometimes for me, when it comes to being in the red romantically, this is where I get in trouble the most. Because the red and green theory at its greatest value, it's all logic, non-emotion. So sometimes when I just state the pure facts of me in the green

[00:36:47] versus the red, that's all logic and I'm neglecting the emotional side of what they're saying. Eh. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. But sometimes, sometimes they don't want to hear what the facts are literally saying. This is how I feel. And my new thing,

[00:37:16] well, it's not a new, it's real. I just have to figure out how I'm a master conveying this part. Mm-hmm. Just because you feel something doesn't mean that that is the reality. So I'm not dismissing what you feel, but when you start operating the reality based off of something you're feeling versus what is logically the truth, that is where I find myself butting heads.

[00:37:46] That is tough. That is tough. Because, once again, I'm not neglecting how you feel, but because you feel some way, especially if you feel some way about what I'm doing, saying, you cannot operate as if that is the reality of what's happening because you feel some way. I may feel like, yo, you being spiteful coming late. Mm-hmm. And now I'm moving with you funny

[00:38:16] because of this feeling. Mm-hmm. Nigga, the facts are being shown that that's not the case. Nigga, there was traffic here. Nigga, or something, right? But me saying that can come off like, oh, you're dismissing how I'm feeling. No, I'm presenting you You don't understand what I'm saying. The facts. Yeah. That has said it all. You know, sometimes it's like, why do you want to sit here? Like, here in this thing? Yeah, yeah. Like, there's nothing going on here right now. Why is this your comfort zone? Like, we don't want to sit here. Like,

[00:38:46] why is this the hill? Your feelings is not the hill you should die on. You know what I think it is? I think, and this is not just gender specific, but I think people like to sit in their feelings for a little bit longer than they need to. You know what I'm saying? Like, feel your way, express how you feel. Damn, we could acknowledge it and all that. And let it be there. We don't got to stay there, you know? Like, because staying there, you know, this is like a reoccurring thing where it's like,

[00:39:17] do we want to, do we want to express, do we want to dismiss the feelings and just get to the solution? Or not even dismiss the feeling, but do we just want to get to the solution? Sometimes we just want to get that shit off. Right. We don't even have to be, we don't have to be getting to a solution to get out of our feelings. We could just, we don't have to even go to anywhere fixed and we just, okay, let's acknowledge the feelings. Can we acknowledge the facts too? And we don't have to sit in either. Just let them be where they're at. And let's move. Ah, move forward? No, just stay.

[00:39:47] Let that be the moment. These are the feelings, these are the facts. Have you ever, am I even triggering? Have you ever heard a woman say, I'm not, I don't feel like I'm being heard or I feel like I'm, you're understanding what I'm saying? I don't feel seen. You know when women say that? I've heard that a million times. Right? A million is crazy. I ain't gonna hold you. I feel like that's what I'm listening to most. When they be like, yo,

[00:40:17] I don't feel like I'm being heard. I actually wrote this down. I feel like something, I feel like what, at times, what's really not being conveyed properly is, I heard you, I don't agree with you, and I won't support this. So because, that's the hardest shit to say. And because I don't support this, you feel like I'm not listening to you. Ah, that's a bar. But you're wrong. That's a bar.

[00:40:46] And I won't allow this to take life or grow because that is excusing Is that what that is? Okay, so, so, so, you're trying to convey a point and me being logical or me being, me trying to use the red or green theory to support my defense on why your feelings are inaccurate or you're just feeling this in the moment

[00:41:16] and it's not the overall consensus of our dynamic, I'm not going to see your logic so this is where you don't feel seen because if I, I feel like if I do that it then takes life. That's me submitting to this logic. Two of us agreeing on something. that's not at all. You never, you never, you never did just like I'm done, done arguments. Nah, I can't do, for those, for those, I'll fight to the very end.

[00:41:44] I'll sleep on the couch. All week. Oh, I'm, I'm, it's, and that's not being, it's not me being stubborn. I just can't submit to the, the ideology of this temporary feeling that you're going to make, take a life of its own just because you want to be agreed with. Agreed with. because that's the way I broke it down. It's not that you were saying, they would say, oh, I don't feel like you,

[00:42:15] I don't feel like you hear, understanding me or whatever. No, that's the thing, I 100% understand. I understand. I 100% don't agree. Matter of fact, and I empathize too. Yeah. Matter of fact, I can see how your feelings can get confused with this. Yeah. But I don't agree. I don't agree. I just don't agree. How do you? I don't agree. And I feel like that's the part in relationships where the communication goes through this development of, yo, we're either going to

[00:42:44] get this right or we're not compatible. That's that, like, how do we convey, it's our part to learn how to convey that message and for them to, we may be feeling some type of way and they're coming from a logical standpoint once in the blue. And we're having an emotional standpoint, they're coming from a logical standpoint. Right. And they don't, they're not going to agree with us because the logic of their red and green

[00:43:13] theory says this and they're right. But it's how we get through that and that's where I feel like those hardships and the troubling conversations is where people treat you like you a red nigga the entire time and that I'm never going to be okay with. Like, don't treat me like I've done you dirty because in this moment of, or this sector in red and green, I'm in the red right now

[00:43:43] but don't misconstrue that with me being in red in every sector or even in this sector but this moment. You know what I'm saying? the sector is communication and communication could be time and place, what we gonna eat, uh, I'm green in all of those but when it comes to challenging conversations it may be a little yellow, lean into the red. Don't act like I'm in the red

[00:44:13] in all communication. Like, nah, we can't do that. Yeah. Yeah, I don't like that. Um, so, with the red and green theory it's, cause I'm listening to everybody's points it's, and it, the main thing is that it's about consistency um, rather than perfection. None of us are perfect. So, if, if you're consistent whether, and, and that can be flipped cause perfection could be used in a damn, do I have to be consistent or do I have to like

[00:44:43] literally, you can't, you can't, you can't, so I have to show for a hundred, all the classes. No, no. No. Consistent that, that don't mean, yeah, that's perfection. Yeah. Consistent is not perfection. Consistent is, um, repetitiveness. I don't know if I grew with you. I don't know. I don't know. I'm gonna bring it to your world. We could work out every day with you. Not every workout won't be perfect, but we showed up. We was consistent all week. Maybe, maybe Monday and Tuesday

[00:45:12] you was proud of us. Make it uglier. Even if you don't go to the gym for a week. So what's up? You are, you are consistent in the gym. Yeah. And when you take that week off, when you go back on Monday, the nigga who was there all week, I'm like, yo, where you was at? He not gonna be like, yo, you some, you some bum ass nigga. He just, you gonna be. What if I feel that way? You might feel that way, but you walked into the gym and everybody who was there and was still being consistent didn't acknowledge you as being lesser than. They just wondered where you was at because they're used to seeing you.

[00:45:42] You know what's crazy? I was just talking about Cheyenne this morning about it and she was like, yo, she, she want to come today, but she didn't go to the gym all week. So I'm like, yo, go to the gym or take a class because that'll probably be better for your mental health than imparting because that, the gym, she was like, that's the first time she missed a week since she started going consistently. So you don't want to fall into the, to the, the loop of just working,

[00:46:12] working, working, working and not doing anything for yourself. So yeah, Cheyenne is still consistent, a consistent gym goer. She missed a week, but that's not perfection. That's not perfection. Yeah, consistency is not perfection. Joe, Joe fighting for that promo clip. Hey, come natural, man. But no, I think it's important to know that because I was going to say it's also on the flip side because we talk about consistency as far as being in the green.

[00:46:42] You can be consistent in the red too, right? And you could be perfect. Like you could try to be consistent in the red is kind of crazy. The thing is, there are niggas who are just fuck-ups or not fuck-ups. Maybe I'm using no more. No, no, no sugar coaters. People have fuck-ups. It could be lack of focus, lack of attention to detail, lack of wanting to do the extra to do the, you know what I'm saying? Maybe they're just comfortable where they're at. Comfortability in where you're at and you could get consistent in being comfortable. That is,

[00:47:11] that's a scary place to be. That could make you a red nigga. And then the problem is that you don't acknowledge what you're doing. When somebody brings it up to you, you're on the defense. Brother, I'm just looking at you. You have nothing but defense. Just look at it but you show me. No! Listen, listen, listen. What offense do you have? Listen, that's where the feelings come in. Okay. And they start making shit up. Or they start, and this is no shot

[00:47:41] but it's gonna sound like a shot but it's not. I swear, I swear. They start over explaining what led to their inconsistency or they want you to sympathize with why they're inconsistent. But when you're a factual, when I'm just looking at, yo, the end result. Your resume shows this. Yo, okay, so I can, I can, I can empathize with you but if I agree with it, it then excuses it.

[00:48:11] Like, I hate you but, eh. I won't do. So just because I empathize with you, just because I understand with you, understand you, but I don't agree with you, does not mean that you're not seen. You're just not agreed with. I can't agree with this because this produces red behavior. And then you become consistent because if you don't see, if you don't see nothing wrong with it, then we have a problem. Yeah, because then you're going to start to say, well, you agreed with me

[00:48:40] last time or you see, you understood how I felt last time but now this time. So that literally makes you a part of the problem. No. And we don't want to join into the problem. And problems are red. Solutions are green. In theory, In theory. Even if you get a solution and it still produces like a red result, you're still trotting in the right direction. You know what I'm saying? You're trying. Trying is a solution. Try better. Try harder. Try smarter. Try.

[00:49:10] You know? So. And I also apply this theory to myself when it comes to my recent financial hardships that I was dealing with. The reason why I never really ever got too down on myself, I've said this on multiple episodes, is because I knew how I was when I first had left college and started getting money. And I'm like, wow, I'm good at this. I'm in the green.

[00:49:40] Cha-ching! You know what I'm saying? Had a little bit of moments where I was, might have been, no, I never really left the green. It's just, I was stagnant in my spot. I wasn't moving any higher. And this is why I kept telling my parents, like, yo, guys, y'all don't know me to be no other way than how I've been. Just be patient. Don't forget, this is how I give it up. Okay, okay. I like this. You know why I like this? Because, tell me,

[00:50:11] one, I like this because this takes us out of the romantic aspect, right? So now your parents are kind of, possibly, looking at you like you're in the red. And you're reminding them, hey, this is not how I am even though I'm in the red. No, I don't think I was not in the red. You don't think it was in the red with your parents? No. Or heading, the green was dropping down? I said I was stagnant. That means I wasn't making any progress forward or I wasn't making any regret. I wasn't going backwards. I was very

[00:50:41] stagnant, which can appear as, you know, negative. So that, not convincing, but highlighting. How did you do it? Honestly, I was just very defiant. Just very, like, yeah, just very defiant and loud about it. Did you use emotion when you were making your claims? Because me and my parents, my family, we have kind of just, we have sit down, talks about things like this periodically. And that's why, you know, I'm thankful for my

[00:51:11] sister because even though she doesn't like, doesn't do it all the time, well, she does it all the time, but she kind of is my support system when I am defending myself. And not even like in a negative way, it's really because my mom, my dad be chilling, but it's just like, she's there to support me when she knows the truth. Like, she's always like, you know, moms are going to panic and worry about their baby boy, like, oh my God. And when I tell her, like, no, mom, I got this, trust me, and you know how I've been, and she

[00:51:41] can't see it, my sister's always there to be like, no, the perception of me that I felt was coming my way, like, that's not how I am, guys. You know what I'm saying? For all these years, I've always paid my bills on time, never asked for a dollar, just been hustling, grinding, getting it. You know what I'm saying? Maybe in this little period of time, it's strange. What's his behavior? Joe, Bill's a little late. What's going on? Is everything okay over there? When is this going to

[00:52:10] change? We're not used to this from you. Who are you becoming? Oh, hold it down. I got y'all. I'll be high. So, it just took a little patience, you know, but I never left the green. Never left the green. It would have taken a much longer period of hardships for me to end up in the red because that's how consistent I was. Let me ask you a question. When you, the questions for the room, somebody's in the

[00:52:40] green with you, you feel them slipping to the red. What do you say to them? Do you let them completely fall in the red? I won't let you know. Never, never. Because maybe they just need that. Some people need that toast to reality. Oh, grace, though. We talk about grace a lot up here. So, it's like, if you look at the sound bar, right, before the green ever hits the red, there's a yellow phase. And if you catch

[00:53:10] it, you'll realize, oh, let me bring it back. Yo! To where it needs to be, right? So, I, Joe did that purposely. He realized, okay, that's where he's peaked at in the red. I know where to level myself at. So, do you give the person self-correction or you let them self-correct themselves? Or do the moment you see them inching towards that yellow to red, red, where is where you

[00:53:40] like, yo? I think it depends on the person, though. That's true. If you are stuck in that depressive state, whatever it is, when you're in a red state, it's like, yo, bro, you sit in there instead of pushing yourself back up? Nah, I don't want you to get there. I think it takes a little bit of balance because what you're saying is that you're talking to somebody who has habits of good. They've worked their way into a green area, so you know they're capable and know what they're doing and how to do it. It takes balance. You see somebody might slip a little

[00:54:10] bit here and there. You got it together? Boom. You trust that you know who they are. You see the consistency in there. You make sure that you're doing your job to make sure that you're checking in with this person or just figuring out if they really do got it together still. You don't have to do too much for a person who has shown you over and over that they're consistent and that they have good tactics or good characteristics. I think it's all about balance.

[00:54:39] You don't always have to over micromanage certain people who have shown you that they are green. However, you see them free falling fast. That's a problem. It could go. You could drag down too. It's kind of crazy. Yeah, you could. You could. You could. Now, if y'all both green and you have some supporting tactics, you got to share it with them and just make sure that they you don't want nobody sitting in the red, bro.

[00:55:09] What about you, LA? Oh, do I say something? Sometimes I let themselves correct. It depends on what sector we're talking about. If it's a financial thing, people know when they slipping. So, I never want to be in addition to the like, if I know my money's not tight right now, I don't need somebody else in my ear telling me. You know what I'm

[00:55:39] saying? Yeah. Yeah, we don't need, I don't need to do it. I don't need that. I might actually put, I might put that person in the red because why are you piling on? But if it's a, if you're, if the sector is something that we're intertwined with, like your behavior is affecting the work relationship,

[00:56:07] the romantic relationship, the business relationship, I'm gonna say something because maybe you getting comfortable or maybe somebody's getting comfortable and yo, I would like to be told like yo, when you first met me, we was always going out. Now, now we comfortable, you know, I'm your girl now, you don't take me out no more, this, that, and the third, or when I met you, you was fly, now you

[00:56:37] only wears Nike tags, sweats and this, that, and the third, that's me slipping into the red. No, it's not. Yes, it is. It's a little clothes. No, it's an attraction, it's all lore. Oh, I'm still fine, what are you talking about? You know what I'm saying? So, or, or, like when I first met you, you was energetic, you was lively. Life is draining me, queen. That's where the conversation comes in. Yeah, so, yeah, that's what that is.

[00:57:07] that's when the emotion comes in. Yeah, and that's where I struggle with because my first defense, okay, I can see where logic can come off dismissive. Yeah. because are you losing, are you losing, are you using your logic in a defensive way or are you stating a fact? Because in that way I would become

[00:57:36] defensive and say, yo, since you've met me, I've been in the green. My intent wasn't to state a fact, it was to defend myself. So, that's where I could see, I, then a response would be, why do you have to defend yourself? This is an attack. Oh, God, that sounds, is there a woman, Why do we all hurt that? do they share this at the age of 16? Sure they do.

[00:58:06] When they get their first period here. Let me show you something right. This is how you respond to me. Take this book. Say that one more time. So, when you start using logic, you're saying you're like, you're saying it in a defensive way. It's not, then she would say, why are you being defensive if I'm not attacking you? That is for me in that moment to take a breather. Because, You're gonna say the bitch was too stunned

[00:58:36] to speak. Because, she may be right. She may be right. And, because she may be right, I have to work on how I say this in a non-defensive way that makes her feel like my defensiveness is attacking her. So, I need to take a breather. I need to get out my feelings or something.

[00:59:06] Quickly, though, because, you know, we're probably in front of each other on the phone. That doesn't last so long. So, I have to process this really quick and then find a better way to articulate that without her feeling attacked. My thing is, I think this is like my... And that's something I need to work on as well. I know that. My thing is, it's more of like, if I ever heard that you don't understand what I'm saying, it's like, yeah, I understand what you're saying.

[00:59:36] I don't fully agree, but I can understand that. And that's as far as I'm going. After that, if it starts, because after that, it's like, okay, we're just going to keep spiraling after that. There's no... Because I don't want the tennis match. Yeah, there's no... I don't want the tennis match. I don't have the fucking cardigan. In addition to what you're saying, I'll even re-say what you said, let you know that I understand this part. So, whatever I did and made you feel this way, I can understand how that would make you feel this way.

[01:00:06] You got to do a quantity set in real time. Highlight it and circle it screenshot. Highlight. That's when something's going to get thrown at me. You pick and choose your battles. But, I understand why you feel this way based off of this. But, you're basing this off of a feeling that is not true. Are you willing... That's not true about you. No, not true. A feeling that is not true about you.

[01:00:36] Yeah, right. Are you to understand my perspective that can help you process the feeling that you have a little bit better? If the answer is no, yo, I'll let you have it. There's nothing else I can do though. You got it, toots. That's literally, okay, you got it. But, if you are willing to hear it, I did this because of this. This reason that I did it had nothing to do to

[01:01:06] personally hurt you, offend you. What'd the girls be doing that? You might have just ate it back, bro. You know what I'm saying? So, does that help you realize a little bit better that the emotions that you were feeling stemmed from something that did not happen in reality? Do you, I'm going to ask you a question though, in these heated moments, I don't even got to be heated, but in these moments, do you always think before you speak? How long have I been dealing with said whoop? Isn't that on one of Quantys episodes?

[01:01:39] because, this may be wrong. That's what I do right there. Yeah, this may be wrong, but I am trying to get to the other side of peace way faster than delaying this out. So, for my own selfish reasons, I don't want to be here too long. I want to get this shit done. Yes, so, I am going to do my best with that intent. My intent may not be

[01:02:09] yo, that's just me being transparent. I don't want to argue about this all day, especially when we're talking about feelings on either side, mine or hers. Can we come to an agreement? Can we talk about the facts? Can we talk, we address the feelings, but logically, your feelings are stemming from an emotion that you developed in your own head, but you're operating as if it's a reality.

[01:02:39] That is not healthy, my love. And you have to be okay with not always agreeing with each other as well. Yeah, we can agree to disagree, but let's agree to at least hear each other out. Because then I can, I know how my shorty think. Let me take preventative measures to avoid her thinking like this. Maybe I need to do an extra check-in or extra follow-up or explaining so her brain doesn't go off the haywire. That is me submitting

[01:03:09] but not tapping out because I feel if I tap out, I'm now excusing this behavior. Because I don't want you to logically think like this. I want you to grow out of this. So if I excuse it, it may enable you to think this is okay, how this is going to work. And then in the back of my mind, you're staying in the red and never moving into the green again. So I can't excuse it. So I'm not nitpicking but I got to choose my battles when I fight this logic of yours because I want it to improve.

[01:03:39] So if I never say anything, you won't think it's okay for your brain to think like this with me. No. No. No. So that that is my fight in all romantic relationships because I have to figure out how do I convey this better? Because I think I got the logic right. Dude, you don't try to sugarcoat it. Sometimes I do. It's

[01:04:09] tricky because when I sugarcoat it and it don't work versus when I'm blunt and it works, it depends what pushback I get. So let me tell you why. When I sugarcoat it and it work, I feel like, damn, I still didn't leave happy because I felt like I didn't really it's not getting my shit off. You don't really understand what you did and how I process it because I had to fluff it. You don't understand the severity of how this is annoying me because I

[01:04:39] fluffed it. So you have and I'm you okay? Yes. Yes. Yeah. Versus me being right. He doesn't mean like a soul. No, no, no, no. I don't mean that. I had to make sure that was her. I got you. I got you, Thank you. Thank you. Me being, you know, yo, this is how I feel. This is how you're making me feel because of your actions.

[01:05:09] I want you to take accountability. I never want to fluff the accountability part because if you understand how a person, if I really understand, yo, this affected you to the point where you're upset, you teared, you're disappointed. You tell a woman you disappointed at her, checkmate. She'll change her. If she fuck with you, she'll change it. She'll change it. That disappointment hit different.

[01:05:41] That's why I don't want to fluff it because you got to understand, yo, the shit you doing is not okay. And I can't hold you in the red if I fluff it. You kind of made it green yourself. Yeah, I'm not helping the person get in the green. And I'm not even talking about romantically, I'm talking about all aspects of human nature, friendships. If I enable your behavior,

[01:06:11] their rebuttal would be like, oh, well, I thought it was okay. Well, then they're right because we talking facts. So between us, when I was moving to Atlanta and you didn't tell me, I forgot I told you this shit. And I was in the red with you. Why didn't you let me know I was in the red with you? Oh, they're getting personal. All right. This is years ago, so I think we can talk about it for real. This is what the people want to hear. This is what y'all signed up for. This is what y'all want to hear. These are the stories.

[01:06:42] Because optically, you were talking to everybody about it but me. So this is where we could talk about facts and feelings. I was operating like Don was being shiesty. That's how I felt. I had no facts to prove it. He thought Don was being a dirty Queens nigga. So in all naturality, the reason why I never spoke to you about it, I was okay with the friendship ending. So you never,

[01:07:12] me hearing you told G about it, you told Rel about it. Matter of Joe Joe no, Rel no, Benny no, no conversation was having me. So I'm like, wait, he gonna wait till the day before? So niggas was, he gonna tell you at the going away party.

[01:07:43] Tell the nigga going away party and going away is crazy. He was going to take a picture of his TSA bucket. She was like, yeah, he's throwing a barbecue. He might tell you that. I said, what's the like, yo, I'm having a barbecue in the backyard. That's it? Yeah, pull up. So I'm like, he clearly not telling me because he's talking to everybody about Rono, Rolanda know, everybody

[01:08:12] know. And they talking to me as if I know. Like, why wouldn't you know, right? Because why wouldn't you know? So I'm like, all right. So that's a perfect example of me operating off of a feeling that I thought was real until we spoke about it. And he was like, yo, bro, I told you this. I'm like, yo, here's the facts. Check the text messages. You ain't called me. You ain't text me. We never spoke about it. So then Don then says, yo,

[01:08:42] bro, blame my head, not my heart. I got a lot going on. I am sorry. I realized, okay, if he's telling the truth, then my feelings that are based off of reality was completely wrong. Women, that is exactly what y'all be doing. Okay, I'm done with that. But, but, but it takes, but, but, where I can, where I understand is because I've done it too. Maybe not

[01:09:12] with you, but I've done it with my best friends. I felt like Joe was moving crazy with me at one point. Joe told me all that was going on in his life. I'm like, okay, I'm glad I didn't say it. I look stupid. I didn't want to fight you a little bit. Give me help, So, I can understand why a feeling without context or communication can feel like reality because you had nothing to write in this book except your thoughts. So, now that pen is to ink,

[01:09:43] okay, I understand this better. I'm rooting this page out. Yeah, yeah. Get rid of it. You know what I'm saying? Some people put it in their backpack. That's crazy. That's true. Where I feel like people go wrong now is after hearing Don's logic, I'm still mad because I'm mad. I'm mad because I'm mad. You know what I'm saying? I'm mad because I'm mad. People really don't like that, bro. It's like we talked about that people like to sit in that shit. I'm already here. Fuck it.

[01:10:13] We ain't got a tear in the world that we could go deep on. Just me and my God. Those who know what we talking about. When you finally get the solution to your feelings. And the clarity is right here. It's mad clean. Mad clean. And they still choose to be mad because that's how I feel. Oh, you're going to feel this alone. You ain't going to feel this no more. You better get

[01:10:43] that rose. Oh, my God. Listen. I want to close with a quote. Because you know, just we've been talking about Yankees holla at him. You know, y'all need a closer. The offense looks amazing. Shout out to my team. Your offense look good at the start of every season. consistent. We're always in the green. We are always in the green. But yeah,

[01:11:13] so just want to end it with saying that the story people believe about you is written by your history, not your intentions. So sometimes what I think that means obviously is that you are going to be perceived by the things that you have done, whether they're good, whether they're bad. A lot of people don't owe you that space or this have done. going to They're trying to do.

[01:11:42] Sometimes all that matters is the results. People remember the results more than they remember the process or what it took you to get to that result. So you will be judged by what you have done. And sometimes you won't be judged by what you say you will do or what you say you are trying to do. So just make sure what you are doing

[01:12:13] or what you have done is some green shit. I'm asking one question. You think you're a good guy? No, we haven't asked that question in mad long. I still think I'm a very good guy. Even sometimes with negative thoughts you still rise to the top. I'm still a good guy. I'm never going to lose that. No.

[01:12:45] Not what anybody else thinks about you. I think the good that I think I am now is way better than the good I was when we first started asking this question. Because where I put the value in good has matured over the

[01:13:22] being more emotionally intelligent I'm good at what I value the good in yes makes me a good guy still. When I said it then those goods that I placed the values of the good I thought I was good in maybe romance and the small things they don't

[01:13:52] hold enough weight long term because you're not equipped in these other sectors so now that I feel like I'm more equipped now than I was then I think gooder is not a word but I'm a better good guy than I that there's more work to do. I

[01:14:22] remember I think I asked this question in the beginning I don't remember saying I'm a good guy ever I don't know at that time it was the bad guy you was cool with the image it depends though in my own story I'm the women that I were dating did not care we hung out when we first

[01:14:52] used to hang out they used to be petrified you going to hang out with Don where y'all going in Missouri you don't even like the clubs why are you taking you the whole time me sitting down bro we in that little section on our phone bro just chilling you know you know what made like that recap of this mad photos and almost every photo it's me

[01:15:22] in the corner just so she she texted me she was like oh you you would be having the time of your life yeah I do you what's the sour patch for marketing oh no

[01:15:52] no no no I just want to announce the sour patch you guys tricked me they did their April fools joke before April leading up to April fools so they was gonna remove the sour and then patch kids but then they came out on April 1st with extra sour so their new flavors you know they're putting more sour you know so shout out to them yeah

[01:16:22] that might be next Christmas gift again fuck that I ain't buy that shit in a while yeah I like I like the weight of my heart is some sour patch kids if you're listening damn bisco for this guy bisco for Kojo now what's an automatic way before we get out of here cashews wifey fuck up she know you upset cashews of gummy beers nigga nigga nigga like that nigga like pineapples nigga nigga said

[01:16:53] that nigga won't be gummy no more yo yo yo yo please close that nigga looked at us like bro what y'all nigga talking about wait wait wait wait close the episode ice cream okay that's the that's the that's the that's the that's the unspoken you know how we talk about

[01:17:22] silent promises that's the silent I'm sorry love me some ice cream I care front we easy I mean Ben and pineapples that nigga almost got roundhouse with some pineapples it's crazy they getting DP'd with pineapples it's crazy yo till next time till next time till next time god is the greatest all the time