Episode 314: 4 Agreements

[00:00:00] There We Go You Warm? Yeah, I started getting warm. I feel you. My son is layered up. Bro, another 15 pounds and I'm done. Cutting? Yeah, I'm fucking done. That's crazy. I can't keep the weight on. I'm already five pounds down. And I don't wanna go that fast. Everything is heavy. Yo, yo, when I tell you I tried to do the hamstring curl for 80 pounds, I almost passed out.

[00:00:28] You start getting a little lightheaded, so I ain't gonna fry. I can get back to bulking or something. Oh, y'all ready? Yeah, facts. Damn, niggas had like 12 episodes today. Shout out to y'all for that song. Part 1, part 2, part 3. That's rocking with us. You already know this motherfucker, schmuckers for love as always, Donald Peasley. Alongside of LaShawn. Another beautiful day here in the palace is what we call it. Blessed to be here. Facts. Blessed to be here. Did you hear that wind? Is that only me? That's outside. That shit is... That shit is... That shit is...

[00:00:58] That shit is... That shit is treacherous. I ain't slapping the window. Ooh. I ain't gonna lie, the nigga spirit's a little higher too, ain't it? Yeah. That nigga got the sillies earlier today, don't you? Me? Is it only me? I mean, it's all of us. Yeah, okay. What's going on? We gave... We gave Dane... He be high. What up, Dane? They gave Dane a 40 point game. Nice sweats, bro.

[00:01:28] I'm good though, man. I'm good, man. I'm good, man. I feel like we're here, man. We're here to pod. The gang's all together again. Who should we start with, like, this nigga taking a selfie and she making TikTok videos? I'm blogging for the people, because they're gonna miss me while I'm gone. Off socials. Oh, okay. Oh, wait. You taking a break for Lent? Mm-hmm. Shout out to you. You still lifting though? Yeah. Yeah, man. Yo, just cause you don't see it, don't mean she ain't doing it, shouldn't me? Oh, so that means you doing it too? Yeah, nigga, that's what I'm trying to tell you, nigga. Same for this nigga over here. He gotta show me, dude. He gotta show me he's strong. That nigga, LA got his G unit tank on. That nigga working, man.

[00:01:58] Bro. That nigga happened by this nigga. LA got some arms on my side, dude. Yo, bro. LA, you know you brolic, right? Huh? I would like to believe that. Like your physique. I ain't gonna front you. If you was to bulk my nigga, I ain't gonna front you. You would look insane. I talked about Dane, but you just talking about his physique. Nah, respectfully, bro. He had two niggas run down on him. That nigga. That nigga. That nigga. Look at it down. They don't look like they can't compare those two. Tank top LA? That nigga strong, bro. That nigga is strong. You should've shown my son when he had the fucking jersey on in Miami, my nigga. Arms was chiseled.

[00:02:28] That nigga, LA was cut, my nigga. Shorty started tying his shoes. That's another story for them. What? Yo, yo, there's a lot of shit about LA I never told niggas, bro. You should fly over that. What the way? Mad stories about LA I never told niggas. Did he ask or she just did it all? Nigga, LA lit! We at the table. I don't know if you've ever been. If you've ever been to Miami, it's right in front of the South Beach town. Oh. We had some little spots. This is my man's birthday. We all chillin there cause we all started. I think it was like a year we was in the job. So we all lit. LA's at the end by the fucking, by the street.

[00:02:58] LA shoes on top. LA lit. LA shoes on top. It's our time for you. I ain't gonna lie. What the fuck is going, nigga? LA at the table like this. It's lit. Y'all niggas ain't meet the LA that was in Woodland. Y'all niggas don't know what I'm saying about it. What sneakers were they? What sneakers were they? My Olympic sevens. I'm dead. And he had the Olympic jersey on too. Kirk Pia kicks right there. Oh, Jesus. I think LA got the videos. I still got the videos too. Shout out to that. Shout out to that young queen. I hope you're doing okay too, man. I was proud of you. Still on here to tell you. Yeah, he's my man though.

[00:03:29] Oh, man. How was y'all week, man? Oh, Rose butt thorn? Oh, Rose butt thorn? Don't. Go ahead. Rose butt thorn? My rose is I'm... I got a job. I don't know. I gotta keep saying that. I started work. I started work. I started work. Congratulations, man. Congratulations. And I made it through the week, man. That felt good. It felt good. I'm not losing my mind. Like I was telling LA, my anxiety didn't beat my ass this week. So that was really good. My bud...

[00:03:57] Oh, my bud is basically I just wanna... Like they threw me right into the fire at work. And I want to kind of just... Adjust. I'm looking forward to learning the role more, learning my position at the job more, learning my staff more, so that I can ease into the comfortability and the confidence. Okay. Um... And the thorn was possibly just waking up. Being in the fire? Waking up early. Waking up early. I told you that. I told you that shit mad time. And I'll be trying to explain.

[00:04:26] It's like waking up early isn't a problem. It is... No, no. Waking up early is the problem. It's not the hours. Like I could go to sleep for eight hours. If I gotta be up at seven o'clock, it's gonna bother me. Do you just... How much screen time do you have before you go to bed? I don't check that, unfortunately. I mean... That's the government trying to get into our brains. You need to wind down. Yeah. You need to phone out the room like hours before. Out the room? Yeah. Can I ask a... It might be an invasive question, but do you shower before you go to bed? LA. He's back in the shit.

[00:04:53] So, I don't like showering before I go to bed because it wakes me up. It actually does that. It's supposed to be the opposite. I don't know. For me, I... Nigga, you throw some water on my body, I'm replenished, nigga. So, like... I'm a morning shower. I've heard that though. Many people have said, yo, just try to take a shower before bed. A hot one. Yeah. Somebody else also recommended something else. I won't say okay. That's what he was looming to. That's what he was looming to. You know what I'm saying? No, no, no, no. That helps too.

[00:05:23] Uh... Okay. Whack off before you go to bed. Your shower's back. I just want you to know. Like, I just... So? Yeah. And you know what? All right. We'll see. We'll see. But yeah, that's my rose butt throwing for this week. You could use the rose. Shit. Nigga, DJing is crazy, yo. Yo. Yo, how we get here, bro? We just... We just, yo. Everybody been wild since we got here, bro. I can't for it. All right. All right.

[00:05:51] That shit will knock you right out, boy. What's up, Sean? What's up? Yo. Y'all complain about how cold it is, man. Yeah, that's correct. Um, my week was good. I started work too. Okay. Um, I would say my rose. It was nice to start the new job and get right into it. Bud, I'm at an agency now, which is different. Like, agencies just move completely differently than traditional production companies.

[00:06:18] So, just figuring out the lingo and certain things. There's a lot of, like, client meetings. That lingo shit. Fake smiling and fake begging, to be honest, which I got to get used to. Maybe use acronyms for everything? Yeah, I'm like, speak to me in English. Oh, my God, bro, please. Tell me what that means, please, because I don't know. What was my thorn? Oh, being in office. I'm a remote girly. That three days kicked my ass, but it was cool. That pandemic spoiled us, man. I've been remote since 2020. Damn.

[00:06:48] So, yeah, I rode the way for a minute. I feel you, because, like, I've been telling y'all, I thought I was ready to, like, do the five days in office. I knew you wasn't. That is, man, please, don't ever, ever ask me to be there more than a half. It's 10 to 6. Yeah, in theory. Be in the building by 930. You know what I'm saying? You got to be at the crib by, like, what time? 730? 745. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Got to make sure my clothes are laid out, ironed up, you know what I'm saying?

[00:07:18] So how was it going? I mean, your first day going there, how was it? How was it? I was in it like a chicken with my head coat off, low key. If I didn't, if me and my... You dressed up, though? Huh? You put on some shit, though. Nah, not really. You know why? Let me tell you why I did. I thought you wore sweats. I didn't. I wore sweats the second day, 100%. But I didn't because the reason why I didn't throw on no OD, like nothing crazy. I dressed nice.

[00:07:45] But as I realized on the calls, every call, I realized how casual everybody is. And I'm like, there's really no need for me to pop out. You know what I'm saying? Maybe next week when I'm more comfortable. Okay. What about you, Cheryl? How was the first day? Yeah, it was the same thing. You just dressing up? You just chilling? Oh, no. I dressed up. But that's because I wear workout clothes every day. So it's more so just like, it gives me a chance to put on... I haven't worn jeans in like, I don't even know how long. So, yeah. Everybody dresses casual, though.

[00:08:15] It's not like a... It's not a heel type of office. If you want to, it's like you wear what you want. So, that was cool. A lot of Gen Z people. I didn't realize... At all my jobs, I'm usually the youngest person. It's the first time I'm not. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, this is what Gen Z people are like. Because I don't really... I noticed when you said the auntie shit, I was like, wait. She's working with young people. Yeah, no. They're like... Some of them is like, this is their first job out of college. Oh. Yeah. So, you have to deal with them... Right. Like, one of my direct reports is like 22.

[00:08:45] And I'm just like, oh. A little sis. Yeah. You got to be auntie for real. You big on me. Unfortunately. That's what they pay you for, though. Shouldn't I? True. That's cute, though. You can mold, though. No. Yeah. You can mold it by it. I'm dead. Now, leave them away. I don't like to mold shit. Nah. You can mold. I didn't say groom. I said... Oh, my God. I said you can mold, though. That's groom cousin. No, that's not. No, it's not. The niggas ain't far from each other. All right, fine. You could be a mentor. Yeah.

[00:09:14] No, I like managing younger people, though. At my last job, my direct report was young. If they got a brain in their head. Older people are a little bit more like... A lot of pushback. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I usually used to get that. Because people are young, older than me. Yeah. Why am I talking in this young? And then sometimes when you have a young superior, you don't respect them because how young they are. Cheyenne's still young. Yeah. So, it's easier for her to work with a younger person than imagine somebody 40 and they got a report to a 31-year-old.

[00:09:43] Now, being 10 years older than your superior, though, that is kind of crazy. Like, imagine... Nah, nah, nah, nah. Telling you what to do, little nigga? That happens a lot, though. It is a lot. It is? I'm new here, so... I mean, it depends. Like, for me, it happens a lot. Because, like, you might have, like, a line producer. Me, I was young as a line producer. Like, I was 29, 30. That's not that common. So, the DPs are in their 40s, late 30s. They're older. Yeah, they're older.

[00:10:12] Yeah, and they stay in those roles. It's not like... You don't really move up, per se, because you just move up in money-wise. You stay in the same rate. So, I'm telling a 40-year-old man, like, no. And we kind of, like, got a stalemate. And it's just like, okay. Week? Overwhelming. I ain't got no rosebud thorn. It's just an overwhelming week? It was just a week where I just... Nah, you came... You came up with this. You better find the rose. Nah, I don't have to find anything. I don't want to find the rosebud. I'm not going to lie. Not one thing? It was one of those weeks I really don't... Nigga said, my game, my rules.

[00:10:41] Mine's one of them. Nah, it's not just one of them. Nigga, to get his ball. Nigga, it's one of those weeks I really don't care to... You lived. Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, I lived. I went to the gym. I went to the gym. Find something, bro. Yeah, I lived. I went to the gym. I know you lifted something heavy. You went to PR this week? I went to the gym. I didn't, bro. I was in the gym for like... Most I was in the gym this week was probably like 45 minutes. Each time? You showed up. That's going to go into this episode. Trust me. Yeah, actually, it was tough. This week was like a mental fight in the gym. I was like, yo, 30 minutes? I'm done.

[00:11:12] I looked at the weights. I left them shits there. I don't want to do that. So I was like, I'm good. Okay, so what was the bud? You don't got to say the thorn, but what was it? Bud? Because that's the side you look forward to, right? Yeah, you can always look forward to it. Yeah, you can always look forward to something. Nice cooked meal. You know what I'm saying? Massage. Good game. Keep going. Rose. My bud. Kitty cat. Something. It's a bud. Bud this week.

[00:11:41] The week not over, you know. I mean, yeah, it's not over, but my bud. What's next for me at the job? That's about it. Okay. That's about it. That's my bud. Let's adjust into that shit more. Rose is something that good happened this week, right? Yeah. I worked out for seven days straight. He did. Good shit. All seven days. You tired of y'all? How are you shaming us? I ain't get there yet. Let's go.

[00:12:10] Something I'm looking forward to. Mm-hmm. I thought my court case was yesterday. It's actually Monday. So this may be our last time seeing me. Damn. Free you to this backwards. Shit me. I hope so. You know what I'm saying? Fighting this gun charge. Oh, God. You know what I'm saying? I had it on me. It's better to be caught with it than without it. Shit me. You know what I'm saying? Ain't get caught lacking. That's what I'm going to try to tell the judge. You know. I'm going to go there in my Sunday's best.

[00:12:41] See, I got a shape up. I said, I'm sorry. Yo. Nah, you know what my real strategy is? What? I'm going there with my job uniform. Of course. You do that shit all the time, nigga. Oh, yeah. He's a man of service. I'm going to have my nice glasses on. I'm going to have my Cartier ring on. So it'll look like I'm a married man. I ain't for them niggas. Let you get away with a lot. I got a family. I got a family judge. Yo. Nah, hopefully I spanked that shit. I'm not looking forward to paying nothing.

[00:13:12] And was it the thorn? Yeah. Therapy, man. That was a tough sesh, bro. That was a thorn in my side, boy. And it wasn't even a... Oh, yeah. We had a brief... It wasn't even a... I think it's the post-therapy clarity. You didn't sit there and think about it. Where you contemplate... You see? Yeah. Your post-therapy clarity. You process everything.

[00:13:42] And it stick with you. And you really, like... Think. So, yeah. That was the thorn. But other than that... I was on vacation this whole week. I was... And then... I think March 1st... I woke up and I was like... I'm gonna go to the gym today. And then... Just stayed consistent with it. And I liked the change that I was starting to see already. I'm tired.

[00:14:12] I'm tired as hell. And the access is right there for you. Yeah. That's the hardest part. Is it? Yeah, bro. That's the hardest part. To go upstairs. You know why? Because I'm like... I could do it at 2 o'clock. I could do it at 3 o'clock. Yeah, you're gonna start procrastinating. I do it at 4. Then I realize... Oh, it's getting late. If I don't go now... Do you think you're gonna develop a discipline to just do it... Like, as early as possible all the time? I'm trying to. What is it? What? 21 days or 30 days? Create a routine or whatever? Something like that. So, let's try. I'm gonna try to do the first 30 days consistently.

[00:14:41] I mean, you did that shit while we was playing video games. I'll be right back. Yeah, facts. And I was on the treadmill while I was talking to Kojo for the whole 60 minutes. Yeah, that was an hour. Yeah. Wow. So, I was able to kill that. So, you know, we'll see. I'm trying to get my body back in shape. I'm sorry. That was another funny thing I dealt with this week on calls. Like, my co-worker is walking on the treadmill. Like, that's how I knew how chill this shit is. I'm like, yo, he's a part of our production staff. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

[00:15:09] And he's listening to budgets while he's walking. He's like, yeah, I gotta get my 15,000 steps in or some shit like that. That's his goal for the day? Yo, my nigga. 15? 15K. That's his goal of the day. I'm gonna crack at eight. But that's because I was home all week. I didn't really do anything physical. His goal for the day is 15K. I usually hit like 15. That's like an average. Where you going? That's like walking everywhere, bro. Everywhere. Just walking everywhere. Everywhere. Like, so instead of Uber Eats, you just walk there and pick it up.

[00:15:37] I'm gonna ask him on Wednesday what he do on Wednesdays because he's in the office. Like, how you get that? So if he's coming into the office, he get it better. He probably see him pacing back and forth, too. He probably do a little pacing back and forth. You get it faster. Walk to the train station. You walk back. Nah, he probably look like a nigga with a car. Nah, but where y'all work at, y'all deep in the abs. So you have to go all the way to, like, the city. Yeah. Yeah, the city.

[00:16:04] But part of my week, too, you don't want to listen to music. You don't want to hear anything. So I went to my mom's crib to get some stuff. I needed some more gym clothes. And I didn't feel like I keep messing up my tank tops with sweats. Sweat in the mouth. So I went to my mom's crib to get some of my old shirts that I could just toss in the gym. And being in my own room, I found this book that I had mad long ago.

[00:16:35] Y'all ever read The Four Agreements? Yeah. I believe so. So when I got back in the crib, I was like, I already had worked out. Like, I don't want to listen to anything. I don't want to play no games. I think that's when I signed on. I saw you was in Astoria. And I'm like, all right, Donna ain't going to be on. So I'm like, let me just read this book. So I reread the book. I wish I read that book earlier this year. That shit would have. That book is a good book to keep you back in, like, focus.

[00:17:02] So the first agreement is like. Be impeccable with your word. Be impeccable with your word, right? So that also means what you say to people and what you say about yourself. So I'm kind of good there. The second one. You know the second one? Don't take it personal. Come on. That book actually changed my life, though. That shit. When I read it a few years ago, I was like, oh. That shit is hot. I needed that reminder. Don't take it personal. Because people be doing shit.

[00:17:33] And they didn't tell you you can't feel no way about it. Or your feelings can't be hurt. But it's like, you kind of remember, like, don't take it personal. If I'd have read that, I'd have been a'ight. I'd have been a'ight. So, yeah. So, yeah. So, um. That was, uh. And also, um. You know, this week is Lent and Ramadan for people who focus on both. I know Cheyenne said she gave up social media. Joe, you gave up anything?

[00:18:03] Uh. Uh. Honestly, my focus hasn't been on my religion. I'm sorry. My bad God. Thanks for the job, though. Make it say, good looking, fam. I'm gonna highlight you, though. Good looking for the job, fam. I just. I'll circle back. I lost track. In my head, I'm like, oh, it's Ash Wednesday. I'm a'ight. If I get home in time, I can stop by church. You know, get blessed. Couldn't even make it in time, bro. I've been so consumed. But. He understands. He's not taking it personal. He's not.

[00:18:33] I've been off that. Damn, nigga. So I can't hear that. Yeah, I make a year sober in August. Oh, that's lit. That's lit. Um. I'm giving up not caring, bro. I'm giving up caring. That's. Damn. I don't know, but that's too intentional to who you are, though. Like, you are a caring person. Nah. I think that goes in line with alignment, too. I mean, agreement, too. Not taking things personal. So for 40 days, you're gonna not care?

[00:19:03] Yeah, I'm a child. I think reckless. Oh, you mean care about, like, what people do to you? Not necessarily how you move on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm about to say, damn. I ain't gonna be out here moving wicked. I was about to say, like, you just about to crash out for 40 days? Nah. That's insane. Nah, yeah. So I'm gonna try really hard not to take things personal. Not caring as much. How's it been going? Uh, you know what? Mind over matter is a real, like, a real fucking thing.

[00:19:30] Because, um, uh, I don't know how to put it. Remember I told you, uh, damn, how I'm gonna say this? Your friend texts me. I'm like, nah, I don't care. Yeah, I don't care. No, not responding. I don't care. So. So you're choosing you this month. I'm trying to choose me for the rest of my life. Mm-hmm. And that, that goes. I mean, this gives you a. That goes into being in the gym. Because I'm like, I. I think me and you had this conversation yesterday.

[00:19:59] I'm like, I want kids. I want family. So I don't want. If I fuck around and end up being 40 with my first child, that's kind of crazy. But if that's the will of the Lord, so be it. At least I won't be in shape for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You won't be, like, fucking wrinkling shit. Yeah. That's not that long. Time goes by fast. We were just 26. 26. 25. Remember where we met? Remember how old we were? Yeah, that's exactly. And then now we are now. Look how fast that came.

[00:20:28] That was fast. And we've lived so many different lives since then. OD. OD. Like, all of us. Yeah, you done live in L.A. Word. Nigga, what? I went across the country twice. Yeah. Bam. That's tough. You went to Atlanta. You went to Atlanta. Facts. Facts. Facts. So, so, Tom is playing. Nigga, L.A. and Queens. L.A. is in Queens. So, I kind of want to be in shape for that. I want to be healthier.

[00:20:53] I got this new scale from, it's called the Body Pod. And you kind of got to, I'll show y'all after. You got to hold it. And it reads your whole, like, bio. Yeah. And it'll tell you, it's, it'll tell you where you gaining weight in, where you losing the fat at. You got to get on it naked? You would like to know that, right? I don't know. I don't know. I know you asked a lot of personal shit. I don't know. I don't know if it's a good investment. You know what I'm saying? Nah. Why would that make me? What difference does that make for you, right?

[00:21:24] Yo, I know. It's my secret. I don't get on a scale without, like, I don't get on a scale with clothes. Yeah, me neither. Only if I leave my body. You're not supposed to. Okay, nah. Because people be getting on there with their socks and shit. I know that's, like, that's not right. So, look. This is kind of a example. I'll be on there naked, bro. Oh, shit. Yeah, so then when you click fat, it shows you where you're fat at as well. Damn, this is very high on the fucking end of it.

[00:21:54] That shit is crazy in your left leg. Yeah, so. Damn, the body is strange, isn't it? But it also shows you a report on how's it dropping, too. So, I think what I liked about that scale is that it'll let you know, okay, you lost half a pound, quarter pound. Your water went up. Don't fret about the excess weight you just gained. It's all water weight. That's fire, though.

[00:22:23] So, because, you know, you think when you gain weight or you may confuse your water weight with fat. So, I'm like, damn, I'm getting discouraged. But, like, nah, that's all water weight. It should be going down in two days if you continue working out. Send me that. Yeah. I'm going to show you the scales. Send me that. I'm going to have my clothes on. So, yeah. People are about the wrong shit. So, yeah. The second agreement is not taking things personal. And I think that might make me a little bit happy in life, too.

[00:22:52] Because I personalize a lot of shit. The third one, though. Shaw. Shaw. Don't make assumptions. Don't make assumptions. I need to read this book, man. Yeah. That's not going to be my thread. I don't assume. I just, like, it seemed very fine. I will say I don't personalize enough, though. That's one thing. But it works. It works. The logic works. It's pretty sound. Don't make assumptions. Don't assume.

[00:23:20] Because, like, a person with me like that, that I have, like, I have bad trust issues, right? Mm-hmm. So, if something looks shaky. Oh, no. You doing that shit. It's shaky if you're looking. Like, you moving where? You moving where? Nah, she fucking somebody. What? Yeah. That's just where my body goes. She fucking with somebody else. So, that... You moving unusually. Yeah.

[00:23:46] Like, it could be, like, anything that kind of skirts off the routine of what we may have. I'm not babe number today? What's... Wait. You got a new nigga. Yeah. Yeah. You moving funny, pop. You moving funny. Oh, my God. So, not assuming will prevent me from... I may still think it, but I'm not going to try to... I'm going to try to level it out on something like, I don't assume. But, it involves you asking questions. And, sometimes, you know, you may get in your own way asking questions because you don't want to come off or appear a certain way.

[00:24:15] You don't want to be soft. You don't want to come off sensitive. You don't want your vulnerability to be misjudged. But, then, that's going back to number two. You don't take things personal. So, if you are judging me, that's just you. That's your own thing. I'm not going to take it personal. That's my... That's my challenge on not assuming because I be assuming the worst. You know, that's why Dane was in that situation for as long as he wasn't in because he didn't

[00:24:45] assume that, you know? He should have assumed. He should have. He might have assumed right there. But, you could have asked clarified questions. Like, why didn't ask clarified questions? Very direct and to the point. Yeah. I want you. I like you and I want you. We can do this easy. There's a hard. And, the last one, the last one, most interestingly enough, that's what I was going to say, that kind of goes into your week is, you know, do your best. Always do your best.

[00:25:17] So, I could even say yesterday, the gym was... Tough. The gym was tough. But, the fact that I walked in that room, I did my best. You showed up already. It's like, all right, my... Yeah, yeah. You just try to show up for yourself and you do the best that you can. And, the best ain't always going to be the best. Like, your best today and your best tomorrow. You don't have to compare them. As long as you go into it doing your best, you should be all right.

[00:25:44] So, tell me on some things that y'all can do your best at. Joe, you first. I could do my best at? Yeah. Tell you something that I can... You mean better? Better or best? Yeah. No, your best. Well, my brand is Daddy Knows Best, so... You can know best already, so... I mean, I'm living in it every day. I'm trying to understand the question so I could answer it the best, honestly. Do you want me to answer and then inform your answer? Yeah, I don't... No, I don't want to form my answer.

[00:26:14] Not as to inform how to answer. Okay, please, please. So, for me, like, I need to be better at not always shutting an idea down, like being more open-minded. Like, that's something I could do my best at. Like, if somebody presents me something and my inclination is like, oh, that's not going to work. I need to really, like, take a beat and be like, all right, why wouldn't it work? But it could work and try to think of it from the reverse. So, I feel like that's one of those things where I need to work on doing my best. Outside of work, what other ways does that apply? No, that's all... Like, I...

[00:26:43] Any situation I enter, work or not, I always think about how it's going to end. I always think about the end of something before I even started. I'm like, okay, this is cool. How's it going to end, though? And then I'm thinking about 30,000 escape routes. And I'm like, that doesn't... That's not... I'm not being where my feet are. I got to really think about it. Okay, how could it work, though? So, I feel like that's something I could work on, like, showing up in my best self. Oh, you got it good now. You did it? Nothing to be better at, Joe.

[00:27:14] I'm trying to think, man. Going to bed on time? Want me to go? Want me to go? Sure. Nah, that's not what the people want to hear. Better at going to the gym? The people don't want to hear that. They want to hear some fly shit. Oh... This job gets that big header right now. No, but honestly, that was what I was on my head. About the gym thing? Because I feel like... But, no. I'm not... Nah, that's not what they want to hear. They want to hear something else from me.

[00:27:43] You don't know what the people... Come back to me, man. This nigga Trump vote. Come back to me. Come back to me. I will answer this. I will answer this. Where we go? Yeah. I want to be better at not being so hard on myself when I'm going through a learning curve. So, even with... So, what... You see me editing just now. I had to ask Kojo because I'm like, yo, I'm not... I'm not confident in this. Even when Kojo's like, nah, it looks the same. I'm like, nah, bro. Look at it again. I put doubt in his head. I want to be better at not being so hard on myself. Like, nah, you got it, bro. Just...

[00:28:12] Or projecting your insecurities. Yeah. On to others. Yeah, that was good. You almost got me, too. But, all right. So, cool. I like where you went. Because it made me realize something about myself. I need to be better at being as confident as I speak on... About... As confident as I speak into others. Right? Like, I'll put confidence in everybody else. But sometimes I don't, like, 100% put that... Oh, it'll be capping your rap?

[00:28:41] It's not really capping because everything I say to y'all, I'll be believing, right? And then it'll be time for me to, like... Like, this week alone, like, there was moments and times where my confidence dipped because it's that imposter syndrome, right? Where I shouldn't have it at all. You've done this already. Just look at what you have accomplished. I need to get better at knowing who to... Like, knowing... Like, I need to get better at fighting that imposter shit. Mm-hmm. Because... Like, you know who you are. This is truly what I asked for because it's what I deserve.

[00:29:10] Maybe this week was just in a small sample size and next week will be better. But... It's a learning curve this week. I definitely don't... I don't want to... I don't want to... Like, I was so quiet this week, right? And I feel like that's not me. Like, even though they threw niggas right in the fire, like, be yourself. And that was me telling myself, like, ah, shit. Yeah, I was like... It was crazy, but I know the truth because then when I'm locked in and I'm working, it's like, yo, you're good.

[00:29:40] I'm like... I know. I mean, Kojo, you're black. Like, you're not there by accident. So, the impossible... Yeah. I'm being serious. Like, we're not sneaking in these rooms in these senior positions. Like, that's not... You don't need black residents? That's not... You got a nepo, baby. I'm only black residents on my team. Absolutely. But you're still great at what you do. The black PM just left. The black PM left on my first day. That shit doesn't matter because it ain't no front. It is a white company, so you being there means a lot, though. Means you know what you're doing. Yeah. That's what the people wanted to hear.

[00:30:10] Um... Yeah, my best is literally focused. Based on the agreement number two. And... Nigga really... Nigga sticking and not caring about that. Nah, not taking things personal, bro. Like, I take a lot of things personal. And, um... I kind of... I think the therapy session this week kind of... Uh... Helped me realize where it stemmed from. Mm-hmm. And... Even when dealing with that, it's like... You know, I say it all the time.

[00:30:40] People do what's best for them. And you just got to hope that you fall under the what's best category. And if you don't... That don't mean that I'm not best. You know? So I used to take it personal. Like, damn, I'm not good enough for you. Like, I worked all this way. Blah, blah, blah. And it's like, yo, everybody likes... You know, if you like an apple, I'm not going to be like, damn, you don't want my orange? Mm-hmm. People like what they like. Oh, pineapple? Who are you? Dang. I was going to ask you, like...

[00:31:10] When you say you take things personal, like... When somebody's doing something to you and then you take it personal, do you believe that it's like a... A centered, focused attack on you? Yeah. Do you know why? All the time. Always, yeah. Like, you're like, yo, like... Oh, you hate me. Yeah. Today is like... They do something for themselves instead of, like, thinking about you. It's like, oh, no, you don't care. Like, it's taking this personal. Yeah, because why would you do such a thing?

[00:31:36] That's just how my brain was or is and how I process things. So I try not to do that now. You know what I'm saying? Because it's just not fair because they may not be thinking of you at all. People may do a selfish act and it's just for them. And you weren't a thought at all. And now I'm thinking, I'm so self-centered that I thought your evil ways was Mojo Jojo against me. You know what I'm saying? So when Kojo... Sorry to put you in Kojo. Kojo, like, not shows up late. He sends you audio late.

[00:32:06] You taking the personal... Oh, he took that job from me already, so... Yeah, that's a sign of me taking things personal. I don't edit videos anymore. Nigga, strip them all up. Come to work. That nigga treat us like fucking Nunu, nigga. Took the chain off me, nigga. But it's like... It's like... But it's not even that per se, but that could go into taking things personal because it's like, come on. We gotta go. We trying to... My time is just as valuable as the rest of y'all's.

[00:32:35] Why wait till 2 a.m. to send me something or... Dragged it. You know what I'm saying? Dragged it. Dragged it. He dragged it. I think they're both taking it personal. He dragged that though. I ain't never do that. But nah, I feel you. But that's one thing I don't do. I don't take too much personal. Not from many people. I think it's people in my life that... In fact, the closer they are, the more personal you're taking? Yeah. Hell yeah. No, me and my sister was arguing the other day. Like heated argument. And when I went upstairs, I don't give a...

[00:33:04] My mom's like, are you guys okay? I'm like, I don't give a fuck. You said that to your mom on the phone just like that? Nah, in theory. But that was a feeling. But what if she took it? She didn't. That's how me... I don't know. Maybe that's... And that's my sister. Like, we... I said, argue? Arguing about something in the laundry room, bro. No. Like, to me, that's what it is. I can't take her actions towards me like personal because I'm like, yo, that is not even important. What if she says something? She did. And I'm just like, yo, all right, whatever, bro. Like, once I cut it off, like, I'm over it.

[00:33:34] And that's somebody like, how could you say that to me? You're my big sister. Nah. But I'm not even trying to like clown nobody with taking it personal. But I'm just saying like, my mind didn't go there. Like, because I feel like... That's the same... I've been fighting with you since I was five years old. It's regular shit. You know what I'm saying? Like, all we do. Like, that's what siblings do. You can't take it personally. I don't think there'll ever be a time, God willing, I hope there's never a time where I fight with my sister, my brother, my friends, and it's like... I take it personally. Like, yeah, we've been here before. Like, all right.

[00:34:04] You know? Like... I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try. And that's where all the agreements go into a nice circle, right? Because I'm gonna say, I'm gonna try, right? So I gotta be a man of my word. I gotta hold my word, right? So that's me holding myself accountable. And then number four is doing your best. So I'm gonna try to do my best. Yeah. That's double trying. Yeah. Not take things personal. Anything happens or people say anything or do anything.

[00:34:34] You know, I just... I'm just not gonna try to take it personal. And I'm gonna hold myself accountable to that. I feel like now that I'm focused on that, some bullshit gonna happen to really test this... Yeah. Test this theory of mine. But... I needed that. I needed that because... When I was... When the whole... What was said? You're too healed. The whole you're too healed thing. I took that way too... Oh, that had you pissed. That name is hot.

[00:35:02] I took that way too personal, bro. Which is crazy because I'm over here thinking it's like, hi, he. And he really like... He's just funny, nigga. You really know. I'm like, nigga. Everything's a fucking problem. I see the point. Yeah. I took that way... I see. I see. I take that. I took that way too personal. I'm like, yo, people got their own thing. And then... I read somewhere that you... We should operate... Like, it's a pleasure to know you. Like, you should... You should move. Like, it's a pleasure to know you.

[00:35:30] And when you move like that, you're more conscious of who you invite in your space because you... Like, you don't just invite anybody to anything, especially if it has value, right? So, like, if a safe is in here, I'm not just going to invite niggas in here willy-nilly. You know what I'm saying? But you're more conscious of who you invite in your space because of what you have in your space. So, if you know what you offer, you should be conscious of who you invite in that space. So, I'm going to kind of move with that.

[00:35:59] Not to be, like, on some... That's about the little stush, huh? Stush shit. Or maybe I need to stop being more stush. Being more stush? I don't think I'm more stush. That's quantity level. I've gotten less stush over the years. I ain't going to see LA give a few hugs one time. Yeah. So, now we going back to that, you know? Now I'm on some quantity shit. I'm a double-double salute. You know what I'm saying? No one. Hey, quantity, quantity. Quanti get into the room. What's going on? Yeah, facts.

[00:36:29] Facts. I think I'm a... Yeah, I think I need to meet. Do you think that taking things personal is also... Is rooted in a massive distrust of people? No. You don't? No, I don't think so. I know my trust issues are bad. Because there is no scale of like... Alright, if I don't trust you, everything you do going forward is the worst. Like, it's bad. Like...

[00:36:58] I can't even explain why my mind processes that. Because before the distrust, I would never think of anything like that. So, do you operate when you meet someone, this is anybody, at like 100% trust? Or are you one of those people where you start at zero and then you build it up? Now? Since that episode? I'm definitely zero. I'm definitely zero to 100 now. As far as trust was... Wait, that wasn't about... That episode wasn't really about the trust. It was about the effort. It was about the effort. Yeah.

[00:37:28] That's a part of it, though. But that's a part of it. That's a part of it, though. Because if I'm giving them 100% effort... I'm all in. Oh, you know... I'm all in there. You know what? You know what I'm going to say? I'm going to work better on managing my expectations. Okay. I feel like when my expectations are too high, it leaves a room for massive disappointment. That's when you start at zero. Zero expectations. Yeah. Zero expectations. Don't expect nothing. Yeah. Go have some fun. Or even if... Because I see how people trick the system.

[00:37:59] So people... This nigga, bro. I see how people would trick the system. They'll start with a high-level effort, but won't maintain it. So you're thinking that's what you should expect, right? And now I ain't going to take it personal. So you may just give me 100% today. I'm not going to expect that tomorrow. I'll get what I get. If I like it, I like it. If I don't, I don't have to tolerate that. So I don't know.

[00:38:22] I hope that don't make me unbearable, but I just got to do what a baby's got to do what a baby's got to do. So... Respect it. Well, to answer Cheyenne, the effort thing, or not the trust thing, I don't know if every person in your life, you give them the same amount of trust on the meat. And I also don't know if I ever really counted or quantified how much I trust a person when I met them.

[00:38:50] I don't remember how much I trusted you when I first met you. You're young, though. I don't remember. I just don't remember. I usually start at... I don't... Not 100, but I don't expect... I just start at like, we cool. I trust you. That's fine. Yeah. I'm saying that because for you... Don't be wrong. All right. Either I trusted you a lot... Or you easy. Out the gate. Or I'm easy. No, but I feel like...

[00:39:20] I met y'all that year. I didn't... Yeah, I wasn't at my birthday dinner. I didn't want to be. I'm dead. And they say A boogie might be there. Fuck out of here. But no. That's what I'm saying. I don't know if I... And maybe I'll start doing that now. The new people in my life that I meet, I'll start to think how much I trust them out the gate. But that's not something that I really ever really think about. I might have trust issues. I'm trying. I'm starting at zero. I'm starting at zero now. You don't trust nobody? At first, it's like... I got to see your intentions first, bro. You don't never know nobody's intentions, bro. You got to...

[00:39:49] You have to get in the mud with people first, bro. I don't want to get dirty. I'm good. I'm good. You have to, son. Like, niggas got to go through shit to barely build character. You got to go through shit? You have to. That's the best test. You got to go through shit? Yeah. That's the best test. Yeah. I don't feel like you got to go through shit. Like, I got to go through something and got to see how you're there for me to be like, yo, oh, nah. It's like trustworthy. Like, if there's nothing to show for it, then niggas just out here vibing, bro. Niggas just out here vibing. What's wrong with that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's just... You know, that's my mans. Like, why that... And you ask somebody, yo, why that's your mans? Can't tell you.

[00:40:20] But that's why you have tears of friends. You know what I see... You know what question I see tripping people up a lot on TikTok? When they, like, they be walking the street. I think it's all staged, but some of it, sometimes, it's interesting. Or the couple shit, right? Yeah, and they be asked, why you love that person? Or what you love so much about that person? I don't think that's staged. You'd be surprised how many people can't articulate what they like about somebody. That's a hard question.

[00:40:47] Because first we go fucking looks, we go personality, and then it's like... To go deeper, you literally have to... It's hard sometimes. Now, you can close the bedroom door. The window open, so I know you're cold. That shit windy enough. I'm gonna put this hoodie on, eh? He hates us, bro. Sorry about that. But yeah, people don't... People don't... Really know how to articulate what they love about their particular person. Or anybody.

[00:41:16] Yeah, for my mom, for her 70s, she wanted all of us to write something about her. And I'm like, yeah, I know I'm good with words or whatever, boom, boom. But I really chose not to write nothing and just to speak. I'm not about to sit here and write. You couldn't oblige her one request? No, because I feel like I made her cry by speaking just... But what if she wanted to read that over and over? Wanted to read it, yeah. I don't think she wanted to. What? Why are you making an assumption? I wasn't... No, because... I don't think it was...

[00:41:42] I think it was that she wanted us to say, like, to speak it to her at her party. Party? I don't know if she wanted to read it later on in life. Maybe I'll... But I feel like it hit harder when I said it out loud. But I knew... It didn't feel right. It didn't feel right writing it to my mother, at least. Like, writing it and then reading it. I just wanted to tell her. You know what I'm saying? But that goes to show... I think that how... Like, I had to sit and think. Like, that's my mother. 32 years. Like, you got a bunch of shit to say, bro.

[00:42:11] But yeah, I think it came out better speaking from the heart. Those are the four agreements. I think I'm going to start the month reading that shit because... Every month? I'm going to start every month reading that shit. Every month. Every month. Because it's a solid... It's a good reminder. You know, sometimes you get off your square. You know, you think... Or you cruising through life, so you don't expect anything bad to happen. Bring it back to center. Yeah, yeah. That's your favorite book thus far?

[00:42:42] That I've read? No. No. Nah, not at all. But it was interesting that that book was right there. Yeah. Like, on top of my closet. And I'm like... God was shining the light on you. Yeah, because I've been home a couple of times and I didn't see that book there. Unless you just prepared out of nowhere? Bro. That or somebody was in my room, but that's assuming, so I can't do that. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Fight through it, man. Yeah, so... I'm like, let me just grab this. I was in the crib and just... It was a quick... It was a quick read, you know?

[00:43:11] And then when... As I was reading it, the book started coming back to me and all of that stuff. And I'm like, all right. I... It was a good centering of myself. Wait, I got a question. And then I started Bible study right after. Wow. Yeah, I opened my Bible up right after that. And I spent like the last two hours. Are all assumptions negative? No, because I can assume good things, right? But the problem with my assumptions, they become the reality. And that's where I go wrong. So like, for example... Okay, good.

[00:43:41] I get it. For example, your mans, right? Say something wacky happened. Yeah, say something wacky happened. I'm like, I should probably out with another nigga. That's tough. That's a bad assumption. And then I'll move on. The fact... Like, that's fact. So she'll text me and be like, hey, how you doing? Text that other nigga. What's going on? What's going on? No, that's not weird. That nigga talks like a shit. So now I'm working on that. I'm really... Because that's the problem with my assumptions. I make... When I assume...

[00:44:10] I assume that I'm right. And I assume that it's real. With no proof, no evidence. So... And then I operate... Like... Like it is. With no confirmation. So now I'm just mistreating you awful just vibe. That's wrong. Yeah, I know. And I'm trying to be better. And now she's probably thinking the same thing. No, he causes that. Yeah, but I'm saying... But now she's thinking like, Oh, this nigga, what's going on? So I'm working on myself. I'm working on evolving. Like I... Assuming culture... And then if you don't take accountability for your assumptions

[00:44:39] and then acting on it, then you start to be like, Look how you acting. And you start looking at them. If they change up, like... Oh, you... Woo! Yeah, so you gotta... Yeah, that's just... It's a lot of work. That is a lot. That's heavy, bro. That's a lot of work, bro. That's heavy, bro. And then you gotta realize it's a lot of self-inflicted pain that I'm putting on myself. The mental gymnastics, the emotional gymnastics, and now... It's also physical? It's also physical. Now my body language... You know what I'm saying? You know something's up if... LA's not a slow texter.

[00:45:09] LA get back to you mad fast. LA don't respond to you for two days. You know what I'm saying? And I will respond to you for two days because of something that I assumed you was doing. You know what I'm saying? But then you gotta get over that hump of being vulnerable and confident in speaking, yo, I feel some type of way about this, blah, blah, blah. And now I'm trying to work on doing my best or not trying to machismo it up. I'm gonna just be... Soft. Not soft. See? I'm not taking it personally. Maybe more refined.

[00:45:38] No, I don't know the word. You just wanna be... Just be what it is. Say what it is. Because you know... Be more blunt about it. That's what you're saying. Not even more blunt because agreement one is watch your words and how you say it. You don't wanna cast no spells on anybody, project and this, that, and the third. And you won't speak negative over your life neither, right? So, like we said in a couple episodes, yo, this hurt my feelings. But, be like, instead of saying this hurt my feelings, yo, I feel some type of way about what you did. Nah, I'ma just flat out say,

[00:46:07] yo, this is hurting my feelings. I would like for this to stop. And being okay with that. You know what I'm saying? That's the way they both tense their bodies up. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? I just gotta, you know, just... Triggered. Thanks. Triggered. Yeah, I don't wanna... Nigga, mama, Houston all over again. And then I get, I get, I get, that and the not taking things personal is gonna help me forgive. If I don't take things personal, then... But there's nothing to forgive sometimes.

[00:46:38] In my mind... If you don't take it personal, then there's no... Exactly. Nothing to forgive. Exactly. So, like, for example, let's say, let's say something happened in my childhood and then I got... Nigga, we got beatings. Well, I gotta beat. I got beatings as a kid, right? And then, you know, you take that personal, like, yo, you hurt me. And be like, yo, my parents just wasn't good at... They weren't in, they didn't know how to be verbal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You just don't take it personally.

[00:47:07] You kind of let it go and try to maintain it because one of the things that they spoke about in the book is the... they talked about, like, a mom having, like, a frustrated day at work and she had a headache and her child was just in the crib singing a song at a high-pitched voice and the mother was like... It is Stacey. Yeah, I come from work and I hear that. And she was like, yo, shut up. You can't sing. No.

[00:47:37] And the little girl never sung... Is that why you don't sing? Never sung again? No, nobody ever did. Never sung again after that? Never sung again and then even in school when, like... It's time for the plays. When it was time for her to talk, she just wouldn't talk because she had, like, this disdain of, like... Oh, my God. Damn. Her voice doesn't... irritates people so she just stopped. And you can see how that affected... That affected her throughout her life. Oh, no. It's a real story? I mean, it's... Probably did. Probably sounded like it was going to happen. Yeah. Yeah, so... Wow.

[00:48:07] So... That goes with the, you know, her forgiving her mom will probably, you know, not taking things personal realizing, you know, my mom had a frustrated day. But the mother should have taken accountability and realizing her words... Once she relaxed. Yeah. Like, you know, baby, you can sing. I'm just mad. I was just mad. Yeah. Today you couldn't sing, but tomorrow you could sing. You know, when I say you couldn't, I meant, like, the action. Yeah. It's not... Mommy had a real... Also, now y'all lying. Mommy had a bad day at work. I have a headache.

[00:48:37] I'm not feeling well and you were singing and it may... Just be quiet for today and then tomorrow you can sing all you want. Now, kids are annoying, bro. And you go get her a microphone. You get her, you know, you gotta... I'm not getting her a karaoke machine. You gotta get her karaoke machine. You gotta get her karaoke machine. You gotta pour your heart to it now. I'm not gonna lie, I got a karaoke machine one year for Christmas. And it was up. Oh, it was the best thing in the world. That was so exciting. We gotta see the home videos. I don't have any. I, like, disappear from, like... You don't have the... She got the pictures, though. I have pictures.

[00:49:00] You know what? I didn't like being in video. Like, I did not... Now you vlog. Crazy. It's an exercise to make myself not do that. That's crazy. I've disappeared. Me too. I disappeared. I wasn't in my elementary school yearbook. I wasn't in my junior high school yearbook. And now you got Sony's all over your house. But I'm gonna make sure for, like, when I have a child

[00:49:28] that everything is recorded. Everything is recorded. They're... They always gonna be on camera for the most part. On photos. So, so... By their truth. Because I have... I have a lot of brain fog as far as childhood. Like shit you just don't remember because... Exactly. There's nothing for you to, like, go back. But you know what could've... The same way I opened up the book and it... You know what I'm saying? Looking at that picture and like, damn, I remember that. You look at a photo, you know, something could come back. Or even if it doesn't come back, you have something

[00:49:56] to visually remember. Yeah, so that's something I'm gonna make sure that I do for my kids. Just record, take pictures, scrapbooks, yearbook photos. I know when my... Even when my child is in her mother's stomach, record that process. Take pictures every month. And be like, hey, you know, it's a month. Can't wait to see you. Can't wait to see you. It's your dad. I love you. It's your dad. Yeah, facts. If you don't see me for the next three years,

[00:50:26] it's your mama's fault. Just put... That is... I'll record you and I'm like, this is why I'm naming you. Maybe like... But yeah, nah, I think that would be great. I think we're part of the generation that's gonna have to rewrite a lot of the traumas. So... Yeah. They're gonna have to... They're gonna have the better life based off of the... They're gonna have a better life than us

[00:50:56] and we're gonna have to be okay with that. You know, we might resent... Not resent, but be feel a little like, damn. I wish I had this. Yeah. So like for the people that like... I can't imagine like... When we grew up, we heard about a lot of un-present fathers. Now, I feel like we got more present fathers than ever before and that's because I feel like those people who grew up with it wanted to change that. You know? They wanted to show up and be dads

[00:51:25] because they didn't have one. And that's even a challenge in itself because you don't really got a guideline. You know? So... But that goes to agreement number four, doing your best. Sometimes you just be out here freestyling and you just do your best. So I'm gonna freestyle this parent shit. That's not to say I don't have a pops. I don't want my pops to watch this and be like, text me like, yo, that was type crazy. what you're talking about? Yeah, that was type crazy. Yeah, my bad. I ain't mean it for coming off like that. Don't take it personal though.

[00:51:56] You know what I'm saying? And... That's it. So that's my goal for... from now and going forward. That's helping me in the gym. Agreement four, just do your best. So if I get in, the goal is just to get up there. I may have a mindset of like, alright, I'm only doing this. May fuck around and do something more. As long as I show up for myself and then not taking things personal because your boy take a lot of things personal.

[00:52:26] I take too much personal. So, I'm trying to lighten the baggage. I'm not as healed as everybody projects on me. Alright. Heard that? You heard that? Okay. Damn, you got put it on Kojo. I'm playing with my son. You know what I'm saying? That nigga is not healed. Yeah. Yo, that was sick. That was sick. That was sick. That was sick, bro. Like, is that what you want in this? I understand.

[00:52:55] The logic is flawed, but I can understand. But that was one of those things we were projecting and they made the decision for him. They were like, She should be rocking around under your leg, bro. Take me with you. Teach me your ways. That's it. No, no. That's it. Teach me your ways. How did you get here? Mom, my therapist, she kind of told me that, yo, at least she was nice enough to spare you. Yeah. Okay, she would have, I imagine, yeah. The thing is, could have ran you down. They could have, she could have, uh, known that.

[00:53:25] Everything you learned just went right out the window. Yeah. So she was like, listen, this therapy session, this therapy session could have went two different ways. She fucked you up? Now or later? Yeah. Or, I'd be like, there's other options, guys. What's the option? What's the option? I'd be like, okay, I'm gonna stay and heal too. That's true. That's true. And we could have been talking about wedding bells. What if she didn't want LA to heal her? Yeah, maybe where she was in her journey,

[00:53:55] it was very personal and she didn't feel like having a person there with her was conducive to whatever she wanted. She shouldn't even been here then. Yo, you know what? I am very pro. Kojo's right. Start leaving people alone, bro. What the fuck? Leave people alone. See? That's what you get, fact is up. You get me tight. That's why. I'm not taking it personal. Yeah, no. Sometimes you don't know how you're gonna react to a situation until you're in it. Maybe she thought she was ready and then it kind of, it got a little too crazy and she's like,

[00:54:24] I hate when it gets my, when it's my turn, they always wanna find themselves, bro. Stop, do that self-discovery somewhere else. Don't wait till it's my turn because I wasn't the first person you dated since, you know what I'm saying? Why you didn't discover that with that nigga, bro? Don't get to me and have this self-reveled. Maybe you make them look in the mirror. That's all that is. Nah, fuck it. You know what? We take that mirror out of here. We ain't doing no more mirrors, bro. Fuck that shit, man. Fuck these mirrors, man.

[00:54:53] I thought you were saying something else. Let's take it upset. Fuck these mirrors, gang. Nah, but. Don't take it personal. Don't take it personal. Yo, bro, you just gotta keep saying it, bro. I'm gonna keep saying it to myself until it like sticks in my head and then it sticks in my actions. Yo, don't take it personal. This nigga don't, you don't know what this person going through, you don't know what that person going through that's standing in the third. Like me on the road when somebody cut me off, now I'm making sure I'm passing you. Nah, you got somewhere

[00:55:23] to go faster than me. So, go ahead. Go on with your good self. And hopefully keep me calmer, bro. I'm just trying to be a calmer person. There's a few things that I need to work on. I'm trying to, uh, my sexy self was 10 years ago. So, I'm gonna try to redeem my physique. I saw my old pictures. I was like, oh yeah. But then you're not gonna be able to keep them off of you. You want that? I can't wait to Cheyenne call out

[00:55:53] for that week. That episode, I'm not wearing shit. Dirtless. I want you to. Nigga, LA gonna be up and so by himself. Nigga, Cheyenne be wearing shit. He on his couch. That nigga on the couch playing cold duty. Talking about Cheyenne, none of them are gonna be here. Go to that watch. That nigga asking my nigga wear clothes for the fucking skin. That nigga, coach is gonna sign up for the $15. No, it's him. Dave can cover his sweats. Yo, she didn't even catch the whole shit. Yo,

[00:56:25] but yeah, it's getting out of here. The sillies have kicked in. Fucking done. But yeah, nah, by August, hopefully I'm there. Cause I was there, I was looking at the photo, I was like, yo, I was there April and I started in January. And that's another thing, just being more patient with myself and how that goes and you know, we'll see where it goes. Taking things one day at a time. I'm not projecting the future, living in the moment, staying where my feet is at.

[00:56:55] I like that. Yeah. Might have to. Full agreements, man. I need somebody to like keep me accountable. I want to start reading more. I used to read a lot. But I don't, we're not reading that Rich Dad, Poor Dad, all those man books. I have a few of those books in my crib. I just want to get back to me. We can have a pod book club but we're not doing that. I got this other book that's on my agenda. I'm probably going to start this week. I'm probably going to start doing that while I'm on the plane and stuff like that. Hold on.

[00:57:24] Because I'm trying to get my brain back in whack. Like I said, my brain be all over the place. There's a, thinking fast and slow. And then, think again. And there's this other book that's called Unfuck Yourself. Unfuck Yourself. Yeah, by Gary John Bishop. Send me those that you have on here. And then the last one that I really, that I think, I don't know which one I'm going to get to first

[00:57:54] but the title alone is very intriguing to me. It's called When Perfect Isn't Good Enough. I heard it at both of them. Yeah, it's by Richard P. Swanson. What the fuck? Did I, I've seen that book before. I've seen it before. Wow. And Martin M. Anthony. Both of them got PhDs. So, yeah, I think, I think that title alone when I was scrolling through books that I want to try this year, When Perfect Isn't Good Enough. I don't know if that's,

[00:58:24] I don't know if that was triggering to being too heel. Yeah. Yo, not to harp on that too heel part but I got a story to tell, right? Mm-hmm. So my mans, right, he just did the Pop the Balloon show. Random as fuck, right? He was on there. Wait, what? You know what I'm talking about? Wait, which friend is it? My son, Jav. He went on there. Like, I thought it was a skit. I thought it was fake. Bro, he goes on Pop the Balloon show. I'm like, yo, send me this whole episode I need to watch. And I'm tired from work but I have to watch this. So I'm watching the shit. He asked, like, he asked some good ass questions

[00:58:53] to these girls, right? I think he got popped, like, three girls popped on the walk-in because they didn't like his, how he looked. Bet. The questions he asked, the last question he asked, it was two girls left after the pops. The nigga asked one of the most flawed questions I think you could ever ask a woman just to figure out where they at. He said, name a toxic trait that you once had that you have healed from. Both women answered the question. I think they gave solid answers, right? The host then says, oh, good question. What about you?

[00:59:23] He answers the question that he had a toxic trait that he had healed from. Both women popped based on... He healed from it? Well, what was the trait? He said, and it doesn't matter what the trait was because it doesn't matter. I want to hit y'all's take on it. But, and that's what I want to hop on. He said that he had healed from being a sometimesy person. He is now more active and, like, reassuring and intentional with his words of affirmation and all that shit. Like, he wouldn't,

[00:59:53] before he used to feel like he didn't have to text every day and be there every day. He said that he has healed from that and he has fixed that about himself. Both women popped. Even though Shorty said that she had anger issues and this one said this. He was okay with them saying, oh, they healed from that. He answered the question and they popped. And I'm like, so niggas can't heal? Don't take it personal. How do you feel about that? How do you feel about that, Sean? And the reason why I say it don't matter what it said is because the nigga said

[01:00:21] that he had had a toxic trait that he had figured out and fixed. I only ask because I'm like, if he just said his heels toxic, I was a cheater. I'm like, you know what I'm saying? Okay, if the nigga said he was a cheater, right? If the nigga said he was an abuser, I get it. If a nigga say, if a nigga say, yo, I used to be like a little foot in, foot out, not all the way there, but I figured out I had to mature from that and get better at that and like it took him a year after losing a girl to figure out like, okay, bet. How you popping up? I guess maybe if that was his reference

[01:00:51] like the year after he lost the girl, I wonder if they took it as like, you only did that because you still want her back. No, they popped the balloon before they even got to the details. It was just the fact that he said that. Damn. I said, yo, you deserve better, my nigga. When you go on a poppy show, everything's up for grabs, bro, it's over. Don't take it personal. I don't think he did because now he on the internet making content from it, but I just felt like that was kind of crazy. That would have probably, I probably would have had the same feelings like, yo, you just talked about

[01:01:21] how you was anger issues. You know what I'm saying? But people don't want to tolerate certain things and that's their choice. So maybe those two women didn't want to risk the chances of him falling back into that habit. See, that's me not taking the risk. Like are you truly healed? Like are you truly healed? you know what I'm saying? They don't want to take the risk. Yeah. It's like he's taking the risk of dating. She may still be fucking having anger issues. Yeah, in fact, he could have popped her joint when he heard that and be like, yo, you may not,

[01:01:51] you may, I'm taking this chance that you're really fully healed. Like if I hit that switch by accident, you're wilding out. That's so wild. It is nuts. It's nuts. Don't take it personal. Oh man, it's crazy. Yo, I fell for him. Even though, at first, I didn't know if those shows were staged or not, but when you see the fact that it wasn't, that didn't seem like

[01:02:20] no surface level last question. That seemed like something that was like, yo, like if I'm really trying to date somebody, that's a question that you should ask to find out what's something that you had to deal with and it shows that you can get from point A to point B. Nah, I watched one. I actually sent it to Cheyenne this morning, but she's off social media. A pop-boom? Yeah, because what the girl did was like very Cheyenne coded. So I like, it's something like... Oh yeah, what was it? Tell me the scenario. So, same guy, he was down to the last couple of girls and the girl that was last

[01:02:50] was, so there was like two girls and he said, they asked, the host was like, well, why did you pop hers? Right? And he said something about her fit or whatever the case may be, but the way he said it wasn't kind. So the girl that actually wanted him popped it and she said, so he was shocked because he actually wanted shorty. So they got back to her while you popped her balloon

[01:03:19] and she was like, yo, I was very interested. I think you're handsome, blah, blah, blah, but the way you spoke to her, you could have said that in a kind of way and I don't like men who are only nice to women they find. That's Cheyenne saying that. Yeah, that is 100% Cheyenne saying it. oh shit, this is mad because I feel like he might have found her attractive. That's why her balloon was unpopped, right? He had the option to pop her balloon too. No, no, no, no, no. So the girl, there was the girl that he popped

[01:03:48] or wasn't interested in, the host asked why you don't, why did you do that? Whatever. And this was the last two left though. No, no, you know how they go down the line of asking what you didn't like about this person, that person. There were already two other women there that had, so Cheyenne has a balloon and Dane has. Not me and Dane, like the same type of niggas. But they come to me and it was like, yo, Kojo, what was wrong with LaShawn? He'd be like, yo, the nigga fit, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[01:04:18] I wasn't feeling a fair dog. So Cheyenne popped it because it was like, oh, you could have found a nicer way to say that. That was very unkind of you. Don't need nice to pretty women. Yeah, basically. Yeah, and that's something Cheyenne has said before. That's an assumption. Well, no, I mean, for me, it's like, there are kind ways to say things. You should be like, oh, I'm just not interested in the total package. You know, you could move on. But if you're trying to embarrass somebody, you could tell when someone's tone is trying to embarrass somebody and I don't ever think I'm above a man's

[01:04:48] treatment. If you could do it to somebody, whether you like them or not, whether you despise them, don't find them attractive, who's to say when we have a disagreement, you won't come and talk to me crazy? Which would then say that he doesn't only say those things to people. Why are you rolling your eyes so hard? They're about to get stuck. What? What is it? Because I'm, it's not a, it's an assumption that he only is nice to people that he's attracted to. That is an assumption. She's not a pop to her balloon off of that. That is an assumption but we're on a show that we have a first, it's a first impression based show. I have about 15 seconds between every answer

[01:05:17] to decide and if I don't, that didn't come across right, I'm cool. That's it, but she cannot make a declaration that he is only nice to women that he is attracted to because then that is an accurate assumption on me and you could just not fuck with the way I said it and leave it at that. That's it. Don't tell me that I'm only nice to pretty women because maybe I'm not. We don't got to get into the semantics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? No, I'm just saying. I was just saying that Cheyenne coded because we have heard

[01:05:47] Cheyenne say multiple times. I'm all for Cheyenne. I'm thinking about the woman. Her decision is fine. Making it more than what it was is the problem. You can't take it personal. I'm not taking it personal. Yeah. I'm not in the situation. I'm not in the situation. I'm not. No, I'm saying. I'm assessing it as a viewer. Stop right there. Yeah. Same way he could have been like I just don't like the fit or whatever else he said could have stopped right there. Same thing. Yeah. He took it too far. Maybe she took it too far.

[01:06:16] All right. I just do my best. Yeah, okay. I just, I will never be on a, on a, on a view. I said, Nick said for some pop-ups it's crazy. Wingstop. Thank you. Hey, hey, hey. Put the tender on a string. Where I gotta go? I can walk in the room like what the fuck? Cold Joe got a tender mousetrap. Pineapples?

[01:06:49] That's what the name of the type of person is. You tell me something with a post-eat-palty might get me. You know what? The four agreements, chicken tenders, and pineapples.

[01:07:22] You already know this, It's Donna Camera guy, man. Don Peasley. Alongside of LaShawn, it's okay, Dave. You got it. You got it. That nigga doing a good job so niggas can forget that story. I don't imagine, my nigga. I love you to death. What's your handle? Joe underscore got game, got money. I don't lie to you. I love that shit. They talk that money, y'all.

[01:07:52] Yes, sir. But no, Joe got game. No money yet. It's coming. What's up, Sha? Underscore Cheyenne W. I'm on a break, though. Wavey in it. Wavey in it. DBC underscore pineapple. Niggas got, niggas got, niggas got his Instagram already. niggas got his shimmy with a mouse. He gave a grandma out there, don't want. Please. Put the burnout account on it. Niggas have straight studio. We got a Finsta. Oh, a Finsta.

[01:08:21] A Finsta is insane. Oh, man. Until next time, man. God is the greatest. Old time. God is the greatest. No. No.