[00:00:01] Wildersers
[00:00:02] Woo!
[00:00:04] You already know this, motherfuckers.
[00:00:06] It's my favorite runner as always, Donald Peasy.
[00:00:10] Alongside LeSean.
[00:00:11] Got another one.
[00:00:13] It's another beautiful day here at NYC, man.
[00:00:15] Shout out to y'all for like, comment, subscribe, and the video.
[00:00:17] We do appreciate y'all.
[00:00:19] Oh, man.
[00:00:21] I'm telling you, if we was to record before the pod...
[00:00:24] Man.
[00:00:25] Yo, tellin' em, bro.
[00:00:27] It got nothing to do with any of this.
[00:00:29] I'm just here, so I don't get fun of you.
[00:00:32] So I don't get fun of you.
[00:00:35] What you doing today, LA?
[00:00:39] I don't know what to say no more.
[00:00:41] I don't know what to say no more, bro.
[00:00:43] Yo.
[00:00:45] I wanna pick up where we left off before you took the last pod off the...
[00:00:52] You tried to crash out on the last pod.
[00:00:53] That nigga was with the shit.
[00:00:55] You had touched on two talking points that kind of go into what inspired to this podcast.
[00:01:00] You was talking about how elegantly your girlfriend was...
[00:01:12] I'll allow.
[00:01:19] I'll allow.
[00:01:21] How she pours into you.
[00:01:23] Yes.
[00:01:23] And gives you words of encouragement.
[00:01:26] And how it made you feel, you know?
[00:01:29] Being poured into.
[00:01:31] When she sees me put in the effort.
[00:01:33] Yeah.
[00:01:34] Rightfully so.
[00:01:35] Rightfully so.
[00:01:36] Because sometimes that's all we really need, you know?
[00:01:41] You know, and then the other talking point you had made was having a pessimistic mindset
[00:01:48] with certain things.
[00:01:49] I'm like, keep adding that T in that word.
[00:01:51] It's pessimistic.
[00:01:52] Is it pe...
[00:01:52] It's pessimistic.
[00:01:54] Pessimistic.
[00:01:54] P-E-S-S.
[00:01:58] It's pessimistic.
[00:01:59] It's all right though.
[00:02:00] It's all right though.
[00:02:00] It's all right though.
[00:02:00] It's all right though.
[00:02:01] If y'all understand what he's saying, it don't matter.
[00:02:03] LA continue please.
[00:02:06] But, uh...
[00:02:08] There is a T in it, Kojo.
[00:02:10] No, it's not.
[00:02:10] It's the T at the end.
[00:02:11] It ticked.
[00:02:12] Yeah, that's it.
[00:02:13] So, hey!
[00:02:14] Pessimistic.
[00:02:15] It is pessimistic.
[00:02:16] You said there's no T in it.
[00:02:18] I'm saying pest-pessimistic.
[00:02:20] It's pessimistic.
[00:02:22] You got that, Kojo.
[00:02:23] Words mean things.
[00:02:24] Always.
[00:02:25] So, that mentality, right?
[00:02:29] Which leads me to today's episode.
[00:02:35] Called Why Not.
[00:02:37] Shout out to Westbrook.
[00:02:40] Shout out to Westbrook.
[00:02:43] Why Not was...
[00:02:45] I wrote this episode down as soon as it was said to me.
[00:02:49] So, I was having a conversation and...
[00:02:51] I don't like you fucking blushing when he told me.
[00:02:53] He's about to get on some bullshit.
[00:02:54] The nigga keep touching his face.
[00:02:55] I don't like that.
[00:02:56] Say what you saying.
[00:02:57] It's not touching your face and blushing.
[00:02:59] I was having a convo within...
[00:03:02] What was it?
[00:03:03] Seven hours and 43 minutes.
[00:03:05] Jesus Christ!
[00:03:06] I'm done.
[00:03:06] This nigga's wildin'.
[00:03:10] We was just talking about...
[00:03:11] I forgot what exactly we were talking about.
[00:03:15] Come on.
[00:03:16] Hey, you bullshit.
[00:03:19] Go ahead.
[00:03:21] Bullshit!
[00:03:21] I don't bullshit.
[00:03:33] You're serious.
[00:03:36] So, in the midst of that conversation, we was just talking about my goals and aspirations,
[00:03:43] especially around what's a good guy.
[00:03:48] And I guess something I said led her to say, well, why not you?
[00:03:54] Why can't it be you?
[00:03:56] Why can't you...
[00:03:58] The things that you see at the top of the list of success, even though this is where you're
[00:04:04] at currently, why not you?
[00:04:07] And it was...
[00:04:08] It led me to...
[00:04:10] It opened up my mind for a more optimistic...
[00:04:16] There we go.
[00:04:17] There we go.
[00:04:19] Mindset of, you know, why not me?
[00:04:21] And I want to talk to you guys about how do you all maintain a high level of optimism.
[00:04:32] Oh, it's not recording?
[00:04:34] A high level of optimism.
[00:04:37] Yeah.
[00:04:41] High level of optimism.
[00:04:43] At all times.
[00:04:45] I wouldn't say how.
[00:04:46] In the face of fear, failure, other people doing better than you, comparisons.
[00:04:51] Yup.
[00:04:52] How do you stay optimistic?
[00:04:54] Yup.
[00:04:55] That it can be you.
[00:04:57] Ego.
[00:04:59] It can only be my ego.
[00:05:00] Nigga, he came right out with it.
[00:05:03] It is my ego.
[00:05:04] Like I see them doing good, but I know I can be better than them.
[00:05:08] Mm-hmm.
[00:05:09] And I don't even...
[00:05:10] And that's not even in my nature as a character.
[00:05:15] To feel like I'm better than...
[00:05:16] Yeah, me neither.
[00:05:18] But...
[00:05:18] You have to have some type of ego.
[00:05:21] I feel like it's like...
[00:05:22] That'd be optimistic about you.
[00:05:23] If niggas can do that, I can do that too.
[00:05:24] I can do that too.
[00:05:25] I feel like it's...
[00:05:26] Yeah.
[00:05:27] My competitive nature.
[00:05:28] He got a Range Rover?
[00:05:29] I can go get a Range Rover.
[00:05:31] I don't give a fuck how he got it.
[00:05:32] I'm gonna get mine as a different one.
[00:05:33] Nah, I need me a that GLE 53, bro.
[00:05:37] Great car.
[00:05:37] I need that.
[00:05:38] What a car.
[00:05:38] You see...
[00:05:38] I need me a G-Wagger.
[00:05:40] Women can't understand this because they don't know how competitive men are.
[00:05:44] Mm-hmm.
[00:05:45] So...
[00:05:46] Look at them.
[00:05:46] Look at them.
[00:05:47] Look at them going.
[00:05:47] They want...
[00:05:49] They're all leveled.
[00:05:51] Like, have you ever seen the shows where women have to survive?
[00:05:55] They're like, everybody's out in the wilderness and everybody has to survive.
[00:05:58] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:05:59] Women is like, oh, you can do this.
[00:06:01] I'm gonna take some of this.
[00:06:02] You can have some of this.
[00:06:03] They're even.
[00:06:04] Men, they like to play on an even playing field.
[00:06:06] Men?
[00:06:06] We are not like that.
[00:06:07] Mm.
[00:06:08] If you got an apartment, you live at home, it's like, yeah, make it that one.
[00:06:14] You see...
[00:06:15] Nah.
[00:06:16] It's a competitive nature.
[00:06:17] I would hope not.
[00:06:18] We all...
[00:06:19] Yeah, nigga.
[00:06:20] Men are very competitive.
[00:06:21] I've been trying to get a clip since you got one.
[00:06:23] That inspired me to get it.
[00:06:25] Facts.
[00:06:26] I've been on Zillow ever since.
[00:06:27] It's over.
[00:06:27] You see?
[00:06:29] I did not know that.
[00:06:31] I'm joking.
[00:06:31] I'm going nowhere, nigga.
[00:06:32] I don't have that same energy with marriage, but...
[00:06:35] Oh, man.
[00:06:36] Oh, my God.
[00:06:38] Continue, continue, because you part of my partner.
[00:06:40] I mean, yeah, for me...
[00:06:43] Well, why don't you lead the way?
[00:06:44] You're closer than we are.
[00:06:45] Yeah.
[00:06:46] Am I?
[00:06:46] You are?
[00:06:47] I would believe so.
[00:06:47] Because I'm in a relationship that makes me closer.
[00:06:49] And you started a beautiful family.
[00:06:52] Let's stay on track, yo.
[00:06:53] No, no, we're on track.
[00:06:53] We're on track.
[00:06:54] Yeah, why not?
[00:06:55] Why not Matt could be the first in the group chat to get married?
[00:06:58] Why not?
[00:06:59] Since he has all these opinions about it.
[00:07:00] I told you, I'm gonna sit ready.
[00:07:03] Why not you?
[00:07:04] You grew up seeing a beautiful marriage.
[00:07:06] Why not you?
[00:07:06] Actually, my parents didn't have the best marriage.
[00:07:09] Oh, here we go.
[00:07:10] Wait, hold on.
[00:07:11] That should change it.
[00:07:12] No, no, no, no.
[00:07:13] Do not let that disqualify him saying...
[00:07:16] You saying you grew up seeing a beautiful marriage.
[00:07:19] Because you have.
[00:07:20] I have.
[00:07:20] Exactly.
[00:07:21] He's on a picture.
[00:07:22] Yeah, it may not be directly with his parents.
[00:07:24] And Pastor Lois.
[00:07:25] Them niggas' family pictures growing up?
[00:07:28] Amazing.
[00:07:28] They throw it in every year, Brooke, at the church.
[00:07:31] We've seen him at six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
[00:07:33] Them niggas is always at a family dinner.
[00:07:35] What are we doing?
[00:07:35] Always on family vacations.
[00:07:36] You grew up seeing beautiful unions.
[00:07:39] It may not be directly with your parents, but you can identify healthy marriages.
[00:07:43] And you recently went to a wedding.
[00:07:45] I was on a wedding.
[00:07:46] Why not you?
[00:07:46] Yeah, why not you?
[00:07:48] Anybody been optimistic?
[00:07:49] Yeah!
[00:07:50] To be optimistic about marriage.
[00:07:53] Right?
[00:07:53] And about life things.
[00:07:55] We'll keep this on marriage.
[00:07:57] Got you, Chlap.
[00:07:58] I've been around people in, what's it called?
[00:08:05] Situations where I have seen good family values, good the right way.
[00:08:11] Okay.
[00:08:11] Now, me as a person, I'm a rebel.
[00:08:13] So if you tell me this is the right way, then I have to question, why do you feel like
[00:08:18] this is the right way?
[00:08:19] Mm-hmm.
[00:08:20] But to be optimistic, yes, I can.
[00:08:22] I probably should.
[00:08:24] And I can.
[00:08:25] And I probably will.
[00:08:26] Yeah.
[00:08:27] But I don't know if it's for me.
[00:08:31] How would you not know until you try?
[00:08:33] Not the person is good enough to.
[00:08:36] Okay.
[00:08:36] I don't know if I would be at.
[00:08:39] But how would you know until you try?
[00:08:41] That's risky.
[00:08:43] That part is risky.
[00:08:44] Because that will lead to a divorce.
[00:08:46] Because him trying-
[00:08:49] Making an attempt, sorry.
[00:08:51] Is it enough to secure the longevity of it?
[00:08:55] Mm-hmm.
[00:08:55] Because if he's doing it just to try it out.
[00:08:59] Mm-hmm.
[00:09:00] You kind of want to be, without a doubt, certain, at least going into it, your intent.
[00:09:05] So you think when it's time for you to get married, you're 100% sure?
[00:09:08] Like, yeah, this is my person.
[00:09:08] Yes.
[00:09:09] I believe so.
[00:09:09] For me, I've taken so long that I think so.
[00:09:13] Like, without a doubt, I will know.
[00:09:15] Like, I know I want to do this with you.
[00:09:18] Good, bad, or indifferent.
[00:09:21] 100%.
[00:09:21] Yeah.
[00:09:22] I think so.
[00:09:22] And I'm still just talking about me.
[00:09:24] Not the person.
[00:09:25] Yeah, yeah, exactly.
[00:09:26] The person is well qualified to be there.
[00:09:28] Do you know why you don't-
[00:09:30] You have that doubt?
[00:09:32] Um-
[00:09:33] Can you name like two or three things that caused a doubt?
[00:09:35] Not because of what I saw.
[00:09:37] Because our parents grew up.
[00:09:38] I mean, our parents grew up.
[00:09:39] Your pest.
[00:09:40] It's different.
[00:09:40] It's different.
[00:09:41] They grew up in a different time and they didn't have it.
[00:09:43] And we grew up and we're growing, we're growing in an even worse time than what they
[00:09:49] was.
[00:09:49] And we see divorce rates, all kinds of things.
[00:09:53] So it's hard to be optimistic about things when you see so many failures.
[00:09:57] I say all the time, I know a lot of married men.
[00:10:01] I don't know a lot of happily married men.
[00:10:03] Cause men don't take their own happiness into equation when it's time for marriage.
[00:10:09] Yeah, cause it's niggas about your-
[00:10:10] They're loyal to the responsibilities of marriage.
[00:10:13] They're loyal to the relationship, but they're not loyal to themselves.
[00:10:17] Rob Markman Do you think men's happiness and marriage can coexist?
[00:10:21] It should.
[00:10:22] It should.
[00:10:22] At bare minimum, it better.
[00:10:24] It should.
[00:10:25] It should.
[00:10:25] It better.
[00:10:26] Cause I know two people right now that one of them recently got married, you know the
[00:10:34] person, and another one got engaged because they were told, yo, if this isn't done by
[00:10:43] this, I'm out.
[00:10:45] I think it makes it-
[00:10:46] Yeah, both of them.
[00:10:48] Ultimatums aren't-
[00:10:49] Aren't-
[00:10:50] Uncommon.
[00:10:51] They have-
[00:10:51] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:10:52] But I think with a-
[00:10:54] For something that serious, I don't know.
[00:10:55] Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
[00:10:56] A decision that grand.
[00:10:58] I would hope that you at least, even with that ultimatum, you made it happily.
[00:11:06] Now, I don't know how those two can exist.
[00:11:09] Being forced.
[00:11:09] Being happy in an ultimatum.
[00:11:11] You know what I'm saying?
[00:11:13] I think I'm being forced.
[00:11:14] I don't think I'm happy there.
[00:11:15] You think that ultimatum was unfair?
[00:11:17] It is.
[00:11:18] Is it really?
[00:11:18] It's probably being on a page.
[00:11:19] What else you gonna do?
[00:11:21] What else you gonna go?
[00:11:22] One of them was-
[00:11:23] Hold on.
[00:11:24] One of them was, the dude wanted a baby, another baby.
[00:11:29] And she said, don't put no other baby in me without at least an engagement.
[00:11:36] I think that's fair.
[00:11:36] I think that's fair.
[00:11:37] Okay, that's fair.
[00:11:38] That's fair.
[00:11:38] It's a trade.
[00:11:40] Probably trade.
[00:11:41] Jesus Christ.
[00:11:43] In my wallet?
[00:11:44] This is not cat for Julius Randall, probably.
[00:11:46] This is it.
[00:11:47] Women look at kids as a bigger commitment than marriage.
[00:11:52] Women be real loose with divorce.
[00:11:54] Women look at kids as a bigger commitment than marriage.
[00:11:56] It is a bigger commitment than marriage.
[00:11:57] I had to ask my mom, she said, if you don't like marriage, just get divorced.
[00:12:01] What?
[00:12:03] Like you can't just throw a divorce around it.
[00:12:06] But I will say, I don't know how I feel about that overall because I feel like a child is way
[00:12:14] more harder than marriage.
[00:12:19] But I do because-
[00:12:21] You don't think so?
[00:12:22] I'm not, how do you divorce your child?
[00:12:24] I can bounce back from a divorce in two or three years.
[00:12:26] My child?
[00:12:27] As far as heartbreak, financials, all of that.
[00:12:32] I may be-
[00:12:33] You're paying for her life until she gets married again.
[00:12:37] That's if you got it like that.
[00:12:39] Not everybody got it like that.
[00:12:40] Not everybody's divorces are split.
[00:12:42] I think we focus on the celebrity divorces versus the average man divorce.
[00:12:48] Well, do you see yourself as an average man?
[00:12:51] Yes, I'm a regular guy.
[00:12:52] So you don't see your net worth getting over 500?
[00:12:56] Okay.
[00:12:57] I hear you.
[00:12:58] I hear where you go, but that's not the reality at this very moment.
[00:13:01] So I'm not going to speak on that in that case.
[00:13:03] And to be honest with you, the numbers don't show that half of us get there.
[00:13:06] We just saw people complain about $42 drinks, bro.
[00:13:10] We-
[00:13:12] What we talking about?
[00:13:14] He missed it.
[00:13:15] He missed it.
[00:13:16] He missed it.
[00:13:16] He missed it.
[00:13:17] Well, I'll tell you off-pod.
[00:13:18] But that's not the case for everybody.
[00:13:22] And I think that we should stop objectively looking at the cases that we see instead of what's in front of us.
[00:13:30] Right?
[00:13:30] So I think I'm going to bleep this out.
[00:13:35] She didn't get nothing from that.
[00:13:38] She got two beautiful kids.
[00:13:40] No, I'm talking about as far as the half and all of that.
[00:13:44] She ain't getting none of that.
[00:13:46] She just wanted her out.
[00:13:49] It depends-
[00:13:51] So it-
[00:13:51] Unless it depends on the guy.
[00:13:52] I really know.
[00:13:53] Yeah.
[00:13:53] It also depends if you cheated.
[00:13:54] If you cheated now or you're not, she's going to be petty and I should not want to-
[00:13:57] There ain't a reason to leave a marriage.
[00:13:59] All right.
[00:14:00] Let's try to stay on top of it.
[00:14:02] You're not going to do this two episodes in a row.
[00:14:04] You're not going to do this.
[00:14:05] All right, go ahead.
[00:14:06] But-
[00:14:07] You said he's having so much conviction too.
[00:14:09] Not everybody's going to crash out like you, you know?
[00:14:12] Yeah, you're sick nigga, bro.
[00:14:13] Nobody's standing over the garage, bro.
[00:14:15] Looking over like Bat-Bad.
[00:14:16] But yeah, so I think as far as, for me personally, I think the commitment of raising a child
[00:14:26] together is a way more difficult challenge than it is being buried.
[00:14:34] That's just my opinion.
[00:14:35] Well, I noticed that too.
[00:14:36] Now, Salika.
[00:14:37] Something about a child coming into the picture has made somebody's public relationships a little
[00:14:42] difficult.
[00:14:42] You see Victoria Monet and her partner, they separated.
[00:14:46] She turned into a baby mama.
[00:14:48] And then you got Halle and DDG, they separated.
[00:14:51] Oh, now she's a baby mama.
[00:14:52] Yo!
[00:14:53] Shut up!
[00:14:53] Yo!
[00:14:54] You said that was so much sass, bro.
[00:14:56] Oh, because I thought-
[00:14:57] Yeah, no.
[00:14:58] Because once again, you watch Victoria and her partner, their public relationship was on
[00:15:04] display and people were like, oh my God, goals, goals, goals.
[00:15:06] Right?
[00:15:07] That's obviously something you shouldn't do, but goals are goals.
[00:15:09] And then you realize, they put out this press release about their breakup and it's like,
[00:15:12] oh, we're going to be the best co-parents to our child.
[00:15:15] It's like, damn, was that- is that the only thing that's going to be- is there that you
[00:15:19] guys sharing now?
[00:15:20] Like that's it?
[00:15:21] Maintaining a relationship with a child is a thousand times easier than a relationship
[00:15:26] with another adult who has their own moods, needs, and wants.
[00:15:30] They have their own thoughts.
[00:15:32] They wake up, they want to- I tell my child what to do every day.
[00:15:35] I can't tell another adult what to do.
[00:15:37] I can't tell-
[00:15:39] The way you talk-
[00:15:42] Get in line!
[00:15:44] I got breakfast and my pancakes.
[00:15:46] But nah, it is easy.
[00:15:49] A child is- that's why- we guard the finish line for most women when it comes to marriage,
[00:15:57] right?
[00:15:57] We hold that finish line.
[00:15:59] We hold the door to their finish line.
[00:16:01] And they hold the door to our desires.
[00:16:04] So I feel like men should uphold marriage as high as they uphold, you know, their pussy
[00:16:12] management.
[00:16:13] Yo.
[00:16:15] I ain't gonna-
[00:16:16] So-
[00:16:17] In my mind?
[00:16:17] In my mind?
[00:16:18] Kevin Simmons-
[00:16:19] In my mind?
[00:16:21] Nah, but I-
[00:16:22] I hear what you're saying.
[00:16:24] Matt-
[00:16:25] I hear what you're saying.
[00:16:25] Take it serious.
[00:16:26] Take it super serious.
[00:16:28] Cause this is someone- I don't believe in divorce.
[00:16:31] I don't- I'm not- being optimistic about marriage.
[00:16:35] I don't believe in divorce.
[00:16:37] So if I'm doing this, this is it.
[00:16:39] And I don't want to be the next 45 years of my life in a bad marriage.
[00:16:45] Unhappy-
[00:16:46] Because I'm unhappy.
[00:16:47] Not because you're not worth it.
[00:16:49] You're less of yourself.
[00:16:50] Because I'm unhappy.
[00:16:52] That's it.
[00:16:53] That's all I'm saying.
[00:16:54] Okay.
[00:16:54] So-
[00:16:55] We'll see it.
[00:16:57] Optimism.
[00:16:57] An attitude that reflects a belief that things will be positive and favorable.
[00:17:02] Facts.
[00:17:02] And that there's hope for the future.
[00:17:05] Optimistic, tends to be confident, sees good in the things in the world, and believe
[00:17:10] they are in charge of their own lives.
[00:17:13] That's me.
[00:17:14] Pessimism.
[00:17:15] An attitude that reflects a belief that things will always get worse.
[00:17:19] And that bad things are more likely to happen than good.
[00:17:24] Pessimist tends to focus on the negative aspects of the world.
[00:17:29] Yeah, I was just talking about this on the phone the other day about, you know, the whole
[00:17:32] theory of the glass half empty, glass half full.
[00:17:34] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:17:35] As a child, I always was like, oh yeah, the glass is always half full.
[00:17:42] Mm-hmm.
[00:17:42] Like, there's more to be poured.
[00:17:45] There's more to go.
[00:17:46] I've never looked at it as, oh, there was something there and then now it's down.
[00:17:51] And that could be because of my way of thinking or my literal greed.
[00:17:56] Like, I always want to fill my cup up to the top when I'm drinking regular juice.
[00:17:59] Like, that's just how I operate.
[00:18:00] But that's just how I've always been, bro.
[00:18:02] I know.
[00:18:02] I've seen him pour juice in my house.
[00:18:04] Yeah.
[00:18:05] I don't know how he...
[00:18:06] His cup runneth over it.
[00:18:09] I gotta get it up, bro.
[00:18:10] Fucking greed.
[00:18:12] Nigga looking at me like, damn, man.
[00:18:14] That man had apple juice and wine.
[00:18:17] That nigga wanted a grape and apple juice.
[00:18:20] I think naturally I've always been like,
[00:18:26] yeah, everything is going to get better or there will be more.
[00:18:29] I never think like, damn, there was so much here and now this is what I'm left with.
[00:18:33] Yeah.
[00:18:33] It took me so long to get to that thought.
[00:18:35] I don't know that...
[00:18:36] It took you long?
[00:18:37] Yeah.
[00:18:37] Damn.
[00:18:38] Yeah, it took me long too.
[00:18:39] Yeah, bro.
[00:18:39] It took me that long.
[00:18:40] After so many bad things start happening, this is like, what the fuck?
[00:18:43] You know what it is?
[00:18:44] And then, you know, once you learn about quote unquote Murphy's Law, it kind of sticks with you.
[00:18:48] What can't go wrong?
[00:18:49] What will go wrong?
[00:18:50] It's kind of like, damn, that goes against having an optimistic mindset.
[00:18:55] Like, you know?
[00:18:56] So it's like, damn, I guess that was supposed to go bad.
[00:18:59] Not to make it more, but what's the point of living if you're a pessimist?
[00:19:03] Might as well end it now, right?
[00:19:05] Goddamn, Joe!
[00:19:06] Damn.
[00:19:07] Whoa.
[00:19:08] I think you got to make a graphic for that.
[00:19:10] Whoa.
[00:19:10] That was crazy.
[00:19:11] Trigger warning.
[00:19:12] I feel like I'm pessimistic about one thing.
[00:19:14] Everything else I'm optimistic about.
[00:19:15] And what's that about?
[00:19:16] And what is that?
[00:19:17] If you want to shit.
[00:19:17] What do you talk about?
[00:19:18] Like, I just feel like there are no perfect beginnings and no perfect endings.
[00:19:22] So, okay.
[00:19:23] So with that mindset, then why not go for the best, the better of that?
[00:19:29] Just to do it and just...
[00:19:31] No, it's not just to do it.
[00:19:32] Because you said that your girlfriend is...
[00:19:40] Is more than qualified.
[00:19:42] Yeah.
[00:19:43] Right?
[00:19:43] So it's kind of like, at least I know I am going into it with a qualified person.
[00:19:51] A more so of...
[00:19:53] You remember my situation years ago in the beginning, in the very beginning.
[00:19:57] More of, oh, you've already spent X amount of years with this person.
[00:20:01] Why shouldn't you do it?
[00:20:04] Not seeing...
[00:20:05] What else are you going to do?
[00:20:06] Because behind the feeling is like, damn, is this person qualified?
[00:20:11] Or at that time, did I even know what the qualifications were?
[00:20:15] Being so young.
[00:20:17] Yeah.
[00:20:17] You know what I'm saying?
[00:20:18] So it's like, at least I know for the very...
[00:20:22] At the bare minimum, when I think, do I want to do this long term with a person?
[00:20:27] Are they qualified?
[00:20:28] And if they...
[00:20:29] If they...
[00:20:30] Yes.
[00:20:30] You can only build from there.
[00:20:32] I think the...
[00:20:34] Even...
[00:20:36] In pertaining to that, I just think everything comes to an end.
[00:20:39] Because people grow and evolve.
[00:20:41] Yeah.
[00:20:41] But that's life though.
[00:20:43] I ain't gonna fly so...
[00:20:43] Yeah.
[00:20:44] That's life, bro.
[00:20:45] That's life.
[00:20:47] That's why I said what I just said.
[00:20:49] Everything comes to an end.
[00:20:50] But I just don't like...
[00:20:51] I feel like you just don't have any like...
[00:20:53] Any faith in it though.
[00:20:54] Any faith in what?
[00:20:56] That it'll be good for some years and then it'll...
[00:20:59] Yeah.
[00:21:00] But it ends...
[00:21:01] But it ends...
[00:21:01] Why not keep fighting?
[00:21:02] Everything ends.
[00:21:03] So I'm comfortable with it ending.
[00:21:06] Okay.
[00:21:08] Why don't you...
[00:21:08] Aren't you comfortable with it ending happily?
[00:21:12] Yes.
[00:21:12] I would rather it end happily.
[00:21:14] All right.
[00:21:14] So put your best foot forward.
[00:21:17] Tighten up...
[00:21:17] Just do it.
[00:21:18] And tighten up your boots, you know?
[00:21:20] And lace up your boots and just go...
[00:21:23] You know...
[00:21:23] I'm out of game.
[00:21:25] I think I want him to be honest in that aspect.
[00:21:28] Like, do you think you're missing out on other things because you make a commitment like that?
[00:21:33] I would hope not.
[00:21:34] You 36.
[00:21:35] I'ma keep...
[00:21:36] You 36.
[00:21:37] I'ma be honest though.
[00:21:39] Ain't that much shit out there though.
[00:21:41] I'm being honest, right?
[00:21:42] I'm not...
[00:21:43] Look, I'm broke.
[00:21:43] That's why.
[00:21:44] It's keeping it 100.
[00:21:45] Financially handicap, bro.
[00:21:46] So the only reason you're not married is because you're broke.
[00:21:49] If I'm being fully transparent about my life and my experiences, I think...
[00:21:55] That is the main thing that has hindered me from proposing is that, yo, financially, can I do this?
[00:22:02] Like, I think...
[00:22:03] You guys have ever seen an African wedding?
[00:22:05] Yeah.
[00:22:06] That's a wedding though.
[00:22:07] We talking about marriage.
[00:22:08] But I'm talking about...
[00:22:09] Wedding marriage.
[00:22:09] I think he's thinking about the things that leads up to it.
[00:22:11] That leads up to it.
[00:22:12] And then the after?
[00:22:13] Like, I don't even got the start.
[00:22:15] You know what I'm saying?
[00:22:16] Me too.
[00:22:16] I could relate with that.
[00:22:18] Because the love has been there.
[00:22:20] Yeah.
[00:22:20] The time has been there.
[00:22:22] The desire has been there.
[00:22:23] That financial...
[00:22:24] Yeah.
[00:22:24] It's the front.
[00:22:25] Because once you make that decision, you turn the light on.
[00:22:27] Yeah.
[00:22:28] I need to put them somewhere.
[00:22:29] I gotta live somewhere, bro.
[00:22:31] I'm not...
[00:22:31] Can't do this.
[00:22:32] I'm gonna have a ring and I'm in my...
[00:22:33] Come on, my nigga.
[00:22:34] You can't do this in the 40s, bro.
[00:22:35] Yeah.
[00:22:35] So, it's like...
[00:22:38] It's been that more than that.
[00:22:39] It's ever been love.
[00:22:41] It's been that before.
[00:22:43] It's never been.
[00:22:44] Now we'll stand up for the women.
[00:22:46] They say you can...
[00:22:47] We can just go to the courthouse.
[00:22:49] They want them married.
[00:22:50] Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
[00:22:52] I ain't gonna front.
[00:22:52] I ain't gonna court house nigga.
[00:22:53] I ain't gonna be honest with you.
[00:22:53] That's cool or no?
[00:22:54] They giving niggas the outs.
[00:22:55] Nah, my nigga, nah.
[00:22:56] But we still don't take that out.
[00:22:57] So, it's something deeper.
[00:22:59] I hear that.
[00:23:00] We could just go to the courthouse and do it.
[00:23:02] I hear that.
[00:23:02] Then what?
[00:23:04] That's always been...
[00:23:06] See, see...
[00:23:06] I don't know if that's my...
[00:23:08] Well, be optimistic.
[00:23:09] Yeah.
[00:23:10] That's where my pessimism...
[00:23:12] We'll stay here.
[00:23:13] I have a friend.
[00:23:14] They got married.
[00:23:15] They had an apartment.
[00:23:16] Shit went awry.
[00:23:17] They moved back into...
[00:23:19] They...
[00:23:20] My parents' crib.
[00:23:21] They moved back?
[00:23:22] Yeah.
[00:23:23] Family and all.
[00:23:24] They moved back.
[00:23:25] Same thing with your mans.
[00:23:27] That's how I told you just got married.
[00:23:28] Shit happens, but they still married.
[00:23:30] Mm-hmm.
[00:23:32] Optimist.
[00:23:32] Optimist.
[00:23:33] Optimist.
[00:23:34] You know what's crazy?
[00:23:36] I had...
[00:23:38] I've had...
[00:23:39] I've heard that before.
[00:23:40] I've told the story on the pod about the...
[00:23:43] Let's just go to City Hall.
[00:23:45] I made that joke.
[00:23:46] That was a real thing.
[00:23:48] I've also had...
[00:23:52] The very beginning.
[00:23:54] It was like, yo, if you would've gave me a ring pop, I would've said yes.
[00:23:59] So it...
[00:24:00] I've heard...
[00:24:01] To women, they want the commitment.
[00:24:02] Yes.
[00:24:03] But the thing about it, you just know they deserve more than that.
[00:24:04] She told me...
[00:24:05] There you go.
[00:24:06] There you go.
[00:24:07] She told me our last date.
[00:24:10] It was like a picnic.
[00:24:11] We went on this picnic.
[00:24:13] Luncheon.
[00:24:14] This...
[00:24:14] Luncheon.
[00:24:15] What?
[00:24:16] Nigga say nothing.
[00:24:17] You called it a luncheon?
[00:24:19] Romophobic...
[00:24:20] Romophobic...
[00:24:20] Romophobic...
[00:24:22] My ancestors...
[00:24:23] So...
[00:24:24] Um...
[00:24:25] Uh...
[00:24:25] There's...
[00:24:26] There's a section in...
[00:24:28] In Central Park called The Great Lawn.
[00:24:31] It's beautiful.
[00:24:32] If you could make it there.
[00:24:33] It's a walk.
[00:24:35] And we found...
[00:24:36] I found like the center part of The Great Lawn.
[00:24:39] Dope picnic.
[00:24:41] I think I was like 20 years old when I did that.
[00:24:43] She thought I was going...
[00:24:44] Still this day, I think we talked about it maybe a couple weeks ago.
[00:24:47] She was like, yo, I really can't believe you did...
[00:24:50] You did that nice ass picnic and I just left with a sandwich.
[00:24:55] She was like...
[00:24:57] Like she really...
[00:24:58] At least you ate.
[00:24:59] She really thought she was...
[00:25:00] I was going to propose.
[00:25:02] Like there was a bottle of Moet there.
[00:25:04] I don't even think we were legal enough to...
[00:25:05] How did I get that bottle?
[00:25:07] You just romantic bro.
[00:25:08] Yeah!
[00:25:09] After she told me it was a date and she really thought it was like a...
[00:25:12] It was...
[00:25:13] We was going to get a...
[00:25:16] Nah, she thought I was going to propose that day.
[00:25:18] I was like, yo, I just...
[00:25:19] We was on the rocks.
[00:25:20] I was just trying to save the relationship.
[00:25:22] So she expected a ring to come through...
[00:25:25] Again, that's the end of the...
[00:25:27] Not the end of the road for them in life.
[00:25:29] She was very optimistic.
[00:25:33] You know?
[00:25:34] I get that.
[00:25:35] I think for me...
[00:25:36] Did she know y'all was on the rocks?
[00:25:41] She wore the rocks there?
[00:25:44] Nah, I was just trying to be funny.
[00:25:46] I'm like, I'm dead ass serious.
[00:25:47] Like why did that come to your mind?
[00:25:49] Like if we're fucked up mentally in this relationship, how do you expect that from that?
[00:25:53] If I do...
[00:25:55] Let me text her.
[00:25:56] I'm going to ask her, if I call you right now, would you pick up?
[00:25:58] Can you pick up?
[00:25:59] Yo, you should definitely start incorporating that into the podcast.
[00:26:01] What the fuck is this?
[00:26:02] My nigga had him come in here.
[00:26:04] What's your call?
[00:26:04] I'm going to text her.
[00:26:05] Yo, if I call...
[00:26:06] This is a level of crash out.
[00:26:08] Call you right now.
[00:26:10] I want you to know.
[00:26:11] Can you pick up?
[00:26:13] Just two minutes.
[00:26:15] I mean, since that late, you won't have...
[00:26:17] You start chucking it.
[00:26:19] But yeah, so...
[00:26:23] So shit.
[00:26:24] What am I saying?
[00:26:24] I think that will be...
[00:26:27] You know how last episode I talked about there's going to be another level for me to be a better
[00:26:31] man?
[00:26:32] Yeah.
[00:26:32] I think increasing my level of optimism will help that.
[00:26:40] Because I don't want to bring any...
[00:26:43] A negative mindset to anything that I'm doing.
[00:26:46] Even if it doesn't pan out, at least I know going into it mentally, I equipped myself with a better mindset.
[00:26:57] So there's that and then...
[00:27:00] Okay, so now it's overcoming negative self-talk.
[00:27:03] Holy!
[00:27:05] Shout out to my therapist.
[00:27:06] Overcoming negative self-talk?
[00:27:08] Yeah.
[00:27:08] Self-talk is very easy.
[00:27:09] So share common negative thoughts that accompany pessimism to provide strategies for refraining
[00:27:14] them into...
[00:27:16] For refraining them into positivity.
[00:27:20] Bro, like I'm ugly?
[00:27:21] Like that.
[00:27:22] Like okay.
[00:27:23] Like you know.
[00:27:27] You did something that...
[00:27:29] I'm dumb.
[00:27:30] Huh?
[00:27:30] Like saying you'd fuck up later, I'm fucking dumb.
[00:27:32] No, no, no, no, no.
[00:27:33] I'm gonna help Joe a little bit better.
[00:27:34] You did something or you went somewhere, you didn't like the way you looked and you instead
[00:27:39] of talking down on yourself, you was like, alright, let me go lift some more weights.
[00:27:43] Let me get back into the gym because I didn't like my appearance.
[00:27:48] But you could have talked...
[00:27:49] Oh, she said yeah.
[00:27:51] Hold on.
[00:27:53] Breaking news, breaking news.
[00:27:55] I don't even know where this is about to go.
[00:27:56] What's a good guy?
[00:27:56] What's a good guy?
[00:27:57] What's a good guy?
[00:27:58] He's an extra kid.
[00:28:02] You just said yeah.
[00:28:04] Hello.
[00:28:05] Yo.
[00:28:06] Yo.
[00:28:07] I got...
[00:28:08] Alright, first and foremost, I'm live on the pod.
[00:28:11] So, you know, you can't say anything that'll incriminate yourself.
[00:28:15] Okay?
[00:28:15] So, I just wanna let you know.
[00:28:17] But, we were talking about having an optimistic mindset, right?
[00:28:23] And, I brought up the picnic date.
[00:28:28] What about that date made you think that we were gonna get engaged?
[00:28:35] Or you, I was gonna propose.
[00:28:39] You.
[00:28:40] Like, everything you was doing.
[00:28:43] It wasn't just out of nowhere.
[00:28:44] Like, I'm not crazy, right?
[00:28:46] But, you're not usually like, oh hey, let's set up a picnic in the park type of thing.
[00:28:53] And so, because we was talking about it, being engaged and everything.
[00:28:57] And then, finally you do something like this.
[00:29:00] I'm like, okay.
[00:29:01] This is what's happening.
[00:29:03] Let me make sure my nails are done.
[00:29:04] Rob Markman, oh you got the rocks coming.
[00:29:04] Awesome.
[00:29:05] So, it's his fault.
[00:29:06] Rob Markman, so it's his fault.
[00:29:09] So, it's his fault.
[00:29:10] It's who's fault?
[00:29:10] Rob Markman, it's his fault.
[00:29:11] LeSean's fault.
[00:29:12] LeSean's fault.
[00:29:12] Yeah.
[00:29:13] God damn.
[00:29:14] Oh, so he's the problem.
[00:29:15] So, he's the problem.
[00:29:16] That's what he's talking about.
[00:29:17] She's gonna agree.
[00:29:18] 100%.
[00:29:19] Oh shit.
[00:29:22] So, one of the questions were that we were kinda on the rocks at that time.
[00:29:30] And we were trying to get into a good space.
[00:29:33] Right?
[00:29:34] Don asked, if we were on the rocks, what made you think the engagement was gonna happen
[00:29:43] and it just wasn't a rebuilding date?
[00:29:47] Okay, so if you remember correctly, we were on the rocks mainly because we were together
[00:29:53] for like five years and nothing was happening.
[00:29:56] Rob Markman, for context, we were 20 years old.
[00:30:00] We were children.
[00:30:01] Okay.
[00:30:01] Those niggas move like God.
[00:30:01] I need these people.
[00:30:02] We were together for a long time, okay?
[00:30:06] And we were talking about engagement and that being one of our issues of where we can
[00:30:13] see ourselves, when, how long.
[00:30:15] Like, you wanted the same things.
[00:30:17] You wanted a family and everything.
[00:30:19] You loved me around your mom and all this kind of stuff.
[00:30:21] So, you showed me, hey, look, this is how I'm gonna treat you as a husband.
[00:30:26] And so then, when that time came, even though we was like having our ups and downs, most of
[00:30:31] them was because we just wanted to be together, really.
[00:30:34] You didn't want me to leave your house ever.
[00:30:37] And it was just like, hey, but I can't live here.
[00:30:40] I'm not a fan of shacking up and stuff like that.
[00:30:44] So, that's where our arguments was from.
[00:30:46] So then when it was like, I'm gonna do something special.
[00:30:53] We don't even drink champagne.
[00:30:56] What was that?
[00:30:58] Free Matthew.
[00:31:00] Oh, yeah.
[00:31:02] Like we don't even drink champagne.
[00:31:03] Now we only got champagne just cause, as-
[00:31:06] Yeah, I was making money.
[00:31:07] Cause you're being romantic and everything.
[00:31:09] But, like, I'm good on that.
[00:31:11] But at the same time, I was just like, alright.
[00:31:14] You know, we gonna do all of this.
[00:31:16] Let me get my nails done.
[00:31:19] Oh!
[00:31:20] So he owe you a few dollars too?
[00:31:23] God dang.
[00:31:25] Alright, well, yeah.
[00:31:26] He told my family about it.
[00:31:27] So my family-
[00:31:28] Oh!
[00:31:29] He didn't say that for me.
[00:31:30] I know that.
[00:31:32] I'll find it out with everybody else.
[00:31:35] Okay.
[00:31:35] So yeah, so we was, so okay.
[00:31:38] Nigga, I'm pivoting.
[00:31:39] We appreciate your time.
[00:31:43] You are the first ex and the only ex to ever be on this spot.
[00:31:47] Nah, but we was overall just talking about Matthew and his girlfriend.
[00:31:52] Get into that stage.
[00:31:54] I'll allow it.
[00:31:56] I'll allow it.
[00:31:56] I'll allow it.
[00:31:57] Get into the next stage and that level of commitment and, you know.
[00:32:02] I just love it again.
[00:32:04] You know that I can't divulge in that topic.
[00:32:07] Nah, I know.
[00:32:08] I know.
[00:32:08] I know.
[00:32:09] But the picnic I brought up because of, I think, how did the picnic get brought up?
[00:32:14] Cause we were talking about being optimistic about marriage.
[00:32:16] Oh yeah, yeah.
[00:32:17] Cause I brought up, yeah.
[00:32:18] Cause we were talking about being optimistic about marriage and, and, and, and, and, and,
[00:32:21] and my friend Joe was like, you know, the fear of, uh, financially maintaining a relationship
[00:32:26] kind of held him back or holds him back.
[00:32:29] And I brought up to the point where you, I remember you saying, you would have said yes,
[00:32:33] even if it was a ring pop.
[00:32:34] That always, that's, that's, that's til to this day still sticks with me.
[00:32:50] Mm-hmm.
[00:32:52] Sandwiches are trying though.
[00:32:53] I'm gonna come out of that big.
[00:32:53] I'm gonna come out of that big.
[00:32:55] I didn't think it's that ball table going great.
[00:32:57] Is there really a time limit when it comes to relationships and getting divorced?
[00:33:02] Oh God.
[00:33:03] Cause, cause why do women think, women, women, women,
[00:33:04] So Preach, Preach, Preach asked them, if you felt, if you felt that so passionate about
[00:33:10] us, why was there a time limit?
[00:33:13] Especially at the tender age of 21 years old.
[00:33:16] And y'all don't control who gets married.
[00:33:18] Um, so, as Preach know, I grew up in a church.
[00:33:21] My, um, my mom's a pastor, my father's a deacon.
[00:33:25] So with, um, me being with you on a regular basis, um, like all day, every day, um, staying
[00:33:32] at your house, things like that.
[00:33:34] Um, it just became more uncomfortable because we were in.
[00:33:41] Rob Markman, Oh, so you let your parents pressure us into breaking up?
[00:33:44] I'm joking.
[00:33:45] I'm joking.
[00:33:45] Don't answer.
[00:33:46] Don't do that to Ronnie.
[00:33:47] Don't do that to Ronnie.
[00:33:48] We gonna talk about the breakup or we-
[00:33:50] Rob Markman, Nah, nah, I'm just talking about the breakup.
[00:33:52] Rob Markman, Nah, nah, we just, we sticking to-
[00:33:54] I ain't on this podcast anymore.
[00:33:56] Rob Markman, Nah, we just sticking to the topic.
[00:33:59] Hey, nah, I'm joking.
[00:34:01] Rob Markman, But nah, why did Tom, outside of that, that's the only reason you felt?
[00:34:07] Rob Markman, If you never heard you was with LeSean for five years, what's going on, you
[00:34:13] think that really would have played a factor?
[00:34:16] Cause nobody brought that up except your side.
[00:34:21] Tanya Cushman Well, it's, well my side was the most dominant side, right?
[00:34:26] Rob Markman, No.
[00:34:26] Cause you was in my house majority of the time.
[00:34:30] Tanya Cushman Yeah, but you, it was all my family.
[00:34:32] Every time we was to go somewhere, it would be my family.
[00:34:34] Anytime we was to have friends, it would be my family.
[00:34:38] Nah, my Super Bowl parties was lit.
[00:34:40] My Super Bowl parties was definitely fire.
[00:34:43] Yeah, that was once a year.
[00:34:44] True.
[00:34:45] Best time of day.
[00:34:45] The other 364 days.
[00:34:48] Surrounded by my family.
[00:34:50] The holidays and everything.
[00:34:51] You was with me and my family.
[00:34:54] So it's not just about their pressure, but also how I started to feel internally.
[00:34:59] It was like, I'm doing something wrong.
[00:35:02] If I'm going to be with this man and lit up with this man, we should at least be married.
[00:35:10] Good Christian values right there.
[00:35:13] Good Christian values right there, man.
[00:35:15] I love you.
[00:35:16] Nah, I definitely appreciate you picking up.
[00:35:19] I'm going to hit you after this.
[00:35:22] Okay.
[00:35:22] I bet.
[00:35:24] Yeah.
[00:35:25] I'm taking the pot to the next level.
[00:35:27] I just said that 21 is crazy.
[00:35:30] Like I said, I made a Guyanese joke, but that's really wild, bro.
[00:35:33] You imagine that.
[00:35:34] At 21, I can't afford it.
[00:35:35] Like, bro, we wild, we wild.
[00:35:37] And you got to understand, yo, bro, at that point...
[00:35:40] And she was pressured, though.
[00:35:41] This nigga at least sweating.
[00:35:42] Yeah, it got real hot in here.
[00:35:44] Nah, but you got to think about it.
[00:35:44] I just didn't know what she was going to take it.
[00:35:45] But, bro, niggas is children, bro.
[00:35:47] You're going to be pressured, bro.
[00:35:49] That thought only came up when your parents started saying stuff.
[00:35:51] It's like, yeah, you have family that's in the church.
[00:35:53] It's like, yo, bro, y'all shacking up?
[00:35:54] It's like, you start saying stuff like that, it's like, yo, bro.
[00:35:56] I put it to you like this.
[00:35:58] Damn, I may have to...
[00:35:59] It changed the conversation.
[00:36:00] I may have some blame in that, now that I think about it.
[00:36:02] Because big sis looks up to...
[00:36:04] Little sis looks up to big sis.
[00:36:05] Yeah.
[00:36:06] Yeah.
[00:36:07] And if big sis is pressuring me,
[00:36:09] and we was together for eight years,
[00:36:11] little sis would be on the same time.
[00:36:12] Yeah, I was...
[00:36:13] I definitely...
[00:36:14] Because at that point, me and you didn't get cool
[00:36:17] until years after.
[00:36:18] So for those who don't know,
[00:36:20] me and Preach was dating sisters.
[00:36:24] So...
[00:36:25] I think it was all fine and dandy
[00:36:27] until it was time for like...
[00:36:30] Them, they were getting the,
[00:36:31] yo, what y'all doing?
[00:36:33] So that conversation was in the house.
[00:36:35] What age was that?
[00:36:37] It's been 20.
[00:36:38] I was 20...
[00:36:41] 21.
[00:36:42] 23?
[00:36:43] We was together since I was 14, 15.
[00:36:45] So I put it to you like this.
[00:36:47] I...
[00:36:49] And...
[00:36:50] Your children.
[00:36:52] Your daughter's confused.
[00:36:53] What the fuck?
[00:36:53] I'm sorry.
[00:36:54] I apologize.
[00:36:54] In church though,
[00:36:56] married...
[00:36:56] I hate to be just thin on that.
[00:36:58] But in church,
[00:37:00] like that's like a stepping stone
[00:37:04] of a greater purpose.
[00:37:06] Yeah.
[00:37:07] Two people becoming one.
[00:37:08] Yeah, I hear that.
[00:37:09] I hear that.
[00:37:10] So finding it young.
[00:37:11] Real life.
[00:37:12] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:37:13] Fusion, huh?
[00:37:15] Yeah, but bro.
[00:37:15] You wanna do it?
[00:37:17] On camera?
[00:37:19] Almost got there.
[00:37:20] Y'all already got there.
[00:37:21] Bro, I feel like that's just...
[00:37:23] I ain't gonna front now,
[00:37:24] go back to preachers,
[00:37:25] the fucking point.
[00:37:26] Shit's kind of irresponsible.
[00:37:28] Nah, it would have been.
[00:37:29] Because I've told her,
[00:37:31] I've told her,
[00:37:32] because there was one time
[00:37:33] that we kind of
[00:37:35] had like a heart-to-heart
[00:37:37] about why this didn't work.
[00:37:39] She shared her reason.
[00:37:40] So what she said now
[00:37:41] is not anything
[00:37:42] that I did here before.
[00:37:44] And I shared my reason.
[00:37:45] And I was like,
[00:37:45] yo, I met you at 17.
[00:37:48] We ended around 22,
[00:37:50] I think.
[00:37:52] I know I didn't spend
[00:37:53] my 22nd birthday with her,
[00:37:54] but I think I spent...
[00:37:56] No, I know she didn't spend
[00:37:58] my 22nd birthday,
[00:37:59] but I think I spent her 22nd.
[00:38:01] So we got to 22,
[00:38:02] I was 21.
[00:38:04] If I met her at 27
[00:38:07] to 32,
[00:38:08] different.
[00:38:09] Different story.
[00:38:09] And that's why I keep trying to...
[00:38:11] Like, I had so many fuck-ups
[00:38:13] in life,
[00:38:14] outside of relationship,
[00:38:15] as far as money goes,
[00:38:17] responsibilities,
[00:38:18] things of that nature.
[00:38:19] I would have been
[00:38:20] more equipped
[00:38:22] to be a husband
[00:38:23] than at 17
[00:38:25] turning 22.
[00:38:27] At that first time,
[00:38:29] I'm at the...
[00:38:30] I just started
[00:38:31] the Barclays Center, Joe.
[00:38:34] I'm 20 years old,
[00:38:36] bringing home
[00:38:37] 3K a week.
[00:38:40] You said I'm making
[00:38:41] grown man money, nigga.
[00:38:42] Nigga, I'm...
[00:38:43] At that time,
[00:38:44] Ralph Lauren is everything.
[00:38:46] That's all my money went to, bro.
[00:38:48] That's light bread, too.
[00:38:49] So she talking about,
[00:38:50] oh, we was 20,
[00:38:51] you didn't even drink,
[00:38:52] you buy it, but what?
[00:38:53] Yo.
[00:38:54] That got it.
[00:38:54] Bro, I'm going in the liquor store
[00:38:56] with an underage ID,
[00:38:58] but I have all cash.
[00:38:59] You not telling me no.
[00:39:01] I'm driving,
[00:39:02] we going to Peter Lugas.
[00:39:05] We do it.
[00:39:06] We go in a...
[00:39:07] There was a restaurant
[00:39:08] once upon a time
[00:39:09] called
[00:39:10] One Fish, Two Fish
[00:39:12] in Harlem.
[00:39:13] I think it was in Harlem
[00:39:13] or wherever One Fish,
[00:39:15] Two Fish were.
[00:39:15] I don't even eat fish.
[00:39:17] Yo, let's just enjoy this shit.
[00:39:19] Yo, bro,
[00:39:20] why are we talking about money?
[00:39:21] I mean,
[00:39:21] why are we talking
[00:39:22] about marriage right now?
[00:39:23] There's nothing
[00:39:24] I can't do for you, bro.
[00:39:25] I'm now learning that.
[00:39:27] But you got to remember, though, bro,
[00:39:29] it's the people she's around,
[00:39:30] people she's hearing from.
[00:39:31] And that's,
[00:39:32] there's no knock to them
[00:39:33] because I love them deeply.
[00:39:34] Her mom birthday's next week.
[00:39:35] I got it in my calendar.
[00:39:36] We got to remember that, though.
[00:39:38] It's like...
[00:39:39] But yeah,
[00:39:40] it's just a different topic.
[00:39:41] So how did you mean?
[00:39:42] How do you maintain
[00:39:44] your optimism now
[00:39:45] about getting married?
[00:39:47] Like,
[00:39:47] what makes you say
[00:39:49] I want to do that?
[00:39:50] Like,
[00:39:50] why not me?
[00:39:51] Well, see,
[00:39:52] I see me.
[00:39:53] It's not,
[00:39:54] it's not,
[00:39:54] why not me?
[00:39:56] Do you want to do it?
[00:39:57] Yeah.
[00:39:58] Yeah,
[00:39:58] I definitely do.
[00:39:59] I definitely do.
[00:40:00] I think...
[00:40:00] Put more thought into it.
[00:40:01] Me,
[00:40:01] me...
[00:40:02] Right.
[00:40:04] I think
[00:40:06] in the beginning,
[00:40:07] there was like
[00:40:08] a surface level thing.
[00:40:09] Like,
[00:40:10] I only knew
[00:40:11] like
[00:40:11] the groundwork
[00:40:12] of marriage.
[00:40:14] You go to work,
[00:40:15] you provide,
[00:40:16] there's food on the table.
[00:40:17] That's what I saw,
[00:40:18] right?
[00:40:18] So,
[00:40:20] but
[00:40:20] seeing the demise
[00:40:23] of
[00:40:23] my parents' marriage,
[00:40:26] it made me open up
[00:40:28] to more,
[00:40:30] yo,
[00:40:31] there's a lot of
[00:40:32] emotional needs
[00:40:34] that my father
[00:40:35] didn't give my mother.
[00:40:36] And my mother's
[00:40:37] a hustler herself,
[00:40:38] so technically
[00:40:39] she never needed
[00:40:40] the money.
[00:40:41] And I feel like
[00:40:42] I've always attracted
[00:40:43] women who never
[00:40:44] needed the money.
[00:40:47] After,
[00:40:48] not,
[00:40:48] I won't say after Elizabeth
[00:40:49] because Elizabeth,
[00:40:51] we were young.
[00:40:52] So,
[00:40:52] the money made
[00:40:53] the relationship
[00:40:54] a lot more fun.
[00:40:55] But,
[00:40:56] even her,
[00:40:57] she was cool.
[00:40:58] She was like,
[00:40:59] yo,
[00:41:00] same thing Joe said,
[00:41:01] where am I put you?
[00:41:03] Where am I...
[00:41:07] Where am I put you?
[00:41:09] She was cool
[00:41:10] with the idea
[00:41:12] of like,
[00:41:12] yo,
[00:41:13] we could have been
[00:41:13] in a cardboard box
[00:41:14] with my ring pop
[00:41:17] as long as
[00:41:17] I know that you,
[00:41:19] my husband ain't.
[00:41:20] I know you gonna have
[00:41:21] the grit
[00:41:22] to get us out of this situation.
[00:41:23] I love that,
[00:41:24] but that's not what
[00:41:25] our women know
[00:41:26] that marriage is
[00:41:27] a big commitment to men.
[00:41:29] They know that.
[00:41:30] Yeah.
[00:41:30] They know that.
[00:41:31] But I wanna be
[00:41:32] financially ready for that though.
[00:41:34] I at least wanna be
[00:41:35] I wanna be good.
[00:41:38] I wanna be good.
[00:41:39] So,
[00:41:39] so,
[00:41:40] even...
[00:41:40] I already got my...
[00:41:41] That's what I'm saying.
[00:41:42] You know what success...
[00:41:43] Remember what you asked me
[00:41:44] what success looked like
[00:41:45] and my answer was
[00:41:46] not having the
[00:41:48] unnecessary debt
[00:41:49] that I need.
[00:41:50] Not that I say
[00:41:52] marriage is a debt,
[00:41:54] but it can be
[00:41:55] if done incorrectly.
[00:41:58] So,
[00:41:59] that unnecessary wedding,
[00:42:01] that all that other shit.
[00:42:02] That time,
[00:42:02] that in life,
[00:42:03] that in emotions.
[00:42:04] Yeah.
[00:42:04] Yeah.
[00:42:05] That is a lot.
[00:42:06] Yeah.
[00:42:06] Marriage brings a lot.
[00:42:07] This wasn't even supposed
[00:42:08] to be a marriage episode.
[00:42:09] I just like the way it shifted
[00:42:10] because I promise you
[00:42:12] in my notes,
[00:42:13] it did not say
[00:42:13] call of...
[00:42:15] It did not say...
[00:42:16] That was good.
[00:42:17] That's good though.
[00:42:19] In terms...
[00:42:20] The...
[00:42:20] I feel like
[00:42:21] the unknown of...
[00:42:24] Because we...
[00:42:25] As men,
[00:42:25] we go through so many...
[00:42:26] We run through
[00:42:27] a bunch of women.
[00:42:28] Speak for yourself.
[00:42:29] Yeah, Fax.
[00:42:30] Don't do that to me.
[00:42:31] Don't do that to me.
[00:42:32] Don't do that to me.
[00:42:34] Continue though.
[00:42:35] Yeah, okay.
[00:42:38] Don't point at me.
[00:42:41] But I feel like
[00:42:43] we go through
[00:42:44] so many
[00:42:45] turning points
[00:42:47] and emotions
[00:42:48] whether it's desires,
[00:42:50] greed
[00:42:50] that
[00:42:51] when...
[00:42:52] Now when it comes
[00:42:53] down to marriages
[00:42:54] like
[00:42:54] in my
[00:42:57] compressing
[00:42:58] I may be
[00:42:59] compressing myself
[00:43:00] to
[00:43:01] all that I like
[00:43:02] but then it's like
[00:43:04] you have to
[00:43:05] do it at some point
[00:43:07] with somebody
[00:43:07] that you love
[00:43:08] and what's the level
[00:43:10] crash out
[00:43:11] what's the...
[00:43:11] So I mean
[00:43:12] it's normal.
[00:43:15] The step is normal.
[00:43:16] Alright, so...
[00:43:17] Oh, go ahead.
[00:43:18] Go ahead.
[00:43:18] What I always
[00:43:20] think about
[00:43:21] when I think about marriage
[00:43:22] I don't think about
[00:43:23] what I'm
[00:43:24] leaving behind
[00:43:25] or the streets.
[00:43:26] I usually think
[00:43:26] quality over quantity, bro.
[00:43:28] Like that's literally
[00:43:29] my mindset.
[00:43:30] Like if I love this person
[00:43:31] and if this person
[00:43:32] means the world to me
[00:43:32] like I want to be
[00:43:33] with this person
[00:43:33] I don't give a fuck
[00:43:34] what...
[00:43:34] This might be a bad bitch
[00:43:35] down the block.
[00:43:36] That's cool.
[00:43:36] I'm a...
[00:43:38] I have a married friend
[00:43:39] one of his favorite
[00:43:40] things to say
[00:43:41] and there's nobody
[00:43:42] in our group.
[00:43:43] You're right
[00:43:44] because I don't like
[00:43:44] your group.
[00:43:45] Nobody in our
[00:43:48] black mercy group.
[00:43:49] One of the...
[00:43:50] Thou shouts of black mercy.
[00:43:52] He said
[00:43:52] I...
[00:43:53] Of course I can be
[00:43:54] with one pussy
[00:43:55] for the rest of my life
[00:43:56] but it won't be
[00:43:57] the only one.
[00:43:58] And that's just
[00:43:59] something that he
[00:44:00] was or said.
[00:44:03] Yo, what?
[00:44:05] The views of...
[00:44:07] Matthew's a man.
[00:44:08] The views of Matthew
[00:44:08] do not...
[00:44:09] I'm speaking
[00:44:10] from what married...
[00:44:11] Other married men
[00:44:12] have.
[00:44:12] No, you are speaking
[00:44:13] from what one
[00:44:14] married man said.
[00:44:15] A lot of married men
[00:44:16] miss their freedom.
[00:44:18] They miss.
[00:44:19] And not freedom
[00:44:20] sexually.
[00:44:20] But what freedom?
[00:44:21] Not freedom sexually.
[00:44:23] Freedom.
[00:44:24] They can get up.
[00:44:25] You want to go tailgate
[00:44:26] with your boys
[00:44:27] for the next eight weeks.
[00:44:28] You can go do that.
[00:44:28] That's on their partners.
[00:44:30] But you...
[00:44:31] You can miss that same
[00:44:33] freedom in a relationship.
[00:44:35] Yeah, so what you...
[00:44:35] Yeah, that's all I'm saying.
[00:44:36] Yeah.
[00:44:37] Married and committed.
[00:44:39] No, no.
[00:44:40] Let me tell you.
[00:44:41] No, I can tell you.
[00:44:41] No, let me tell you.
[00:44:42] No, no, that's not true.
[00:44:43] That's not true.
[00:44:44] I'm gonna tell you this
[00:44:44] right now.
[00:44:46] Because when I was
[00:44:47] in a relationship
[00:44:48] and I would pod all day,
[00:44:50] I would come back to
[00:44:51] oh, now you're tired.
[00:44:53] You don't want to do anything.
[00:44:55] Did we just have
[00:44:55] this conversation?
[00:44:56] Yeah.
[00:44:56] You know what I'm saying?
[00:44:57] Yeah, dude.
[00:44:57] We spoke about this.
[00:44:58] Right?
[00:44:59] Until Joe called you.
[00:45:00] Now you out.
[00:45:00] Right?
[00:45:01] Or even then.
[00:45:03] Whatever, right?
[00:45:04] Sorry.
[00:45:05] Now,
[00:45:06] when we rap,
[00:45:09] I have the freedom
[00:45:10] to be tired.
[00:45:11] Because you're single.
[00:45:13] That's something that they miss.
[00:45:14] They miss that.
[00:45:15] But I was never married to them.
[00:45:17] So,
[00:45:18] I can't put that on marriage.
[00:45:20] The missing...
[00:45:21] The missing...
[00:45:22] The missing...
[00:45:22] Put that on women.
[00:45:23] The missing...
[00:45:23] Yeah, facts.
[00:45:24] Because I...
[00:45:25] Yeah.
[00:45:26] Because we here,
[00:45:27] we are allies.
[00:45:30] But that's what they say.
[00:45:31] They miss freedom.
[00:45:32] Freedom is number one.
[00:45:34] Freedom of time.
[00:45:37] Friends.
[00:45:37] Friends.
[00:45:38] But that is the quote-unquote
[00:45:39] trade, right?
[00:45:40] Why commit that?
[00:45:41] That is the trade that you make.
[00:45:44] Since we talk about trades,
[00:45:45] right?
[00:45:46] So,
[00:45:47] I would hope
[00:45:48] the
[00:45:49] overly qualified
[00:45:50] person
[00:45:53] is worth the trade.
[00:45:54] You know?
[00:45:55] So,
[00:45:55] boom.
[00:45:56] Let's keep it sports.
[00:45:58] I may have...
[00:45:59] What year are we in?
[00:46:00] 2024?
[00:46:01] 2024?
[00:46:01] I may have
[00:46:03] a 2028
[00:46:04] first round pick.
[00:46:05] My team sucks.
[00:46:07] And it don't look like
[00:46:08] we going anywhere
[00:46:09] anytime soon.
[00:46:10] So,
[00:46:10] I know this
[00:46:11] 2008 pick
[00:46:12] can potentially
[00:46:14] be great.
[00:46:15] But I have an opportunity
[00:46:17] to bring
[00:46:18] greatness now.
[00:46:20] I am trading
[00:46:22] the thought process
[00:46:23] of what the future
[00:46:25] is for this
[00:46:26] right now.
[00:46:27] And we have seen
[00:46:29] teams
[00:46:30] make trades
[00:46:31] for right now
[00:46:33] and the present
[00:46:34] and not worry about
[00:46:35] what they're giving up.
[00:46:36] So,
[00:46:37] I would hope
[00:46:38] the overqualified
[00:46:39] person
[00:46:40] is worth
[00:46:42] the trade
[00:46:43] of whatever
[00:46:43] set freedom
[00:46:44] you think
[00:46:45] you are going to lose.
[00:46:47] As a man,
[00:46:49] as a man,
[00:46:50] you are a creature...
[00:46:52] Kevin Samuels.
[00:46:52] I'll hard you up.
[00:46:52] You are a creature
[00:46:54] of new.
[00:46:55] And at some point,
[00:46:58] those things
[00:46:59] that you have
[00:47:00] put away
[00:47:02] will show
[00:47:03] its head
[00:47:03] at some point.
[00:47:04] Whether it's...
[00:47:04] You don't think
[00:47:05] the same applies
[00:47:06] for her?
[00:47:06] For women?
[00:47:07] Yeah.
[00:47:08] Yes.
[00:47:08] I just don't think...
[00:47:09] So,
[00:47:09] she's making
[00:47:09] the same trade,
[00:47:10] right?
[00:47:10] Women have the out.
[00:47:14] I lost myself.
[00:47:16] I...
[00:47:16] You can't...
[00:47:18] Yo.
[00:47:19] I...
[00:47:19] I...
[00:47:20] I did this.
[00:47:21] You was in there.
[00:47:22] Men don't have...
[00:47:23] They just go victim?
[00:47:25] They can be victim
[00:47:26] when they're wrong.
[00:47:27] They don't have to
[00:47:28] take accountability
[00:47:28] when they're wrong
[00:47:29] as a woman.
[00:47:31] But women have that.
[00:47:32] You know what?
[00:47:33] It's just a double standard
[00:47:34] that we have to...
[00:47:35] He's wilding,
[00:47:36] but we just seen
[00:47:37] somebody go for it.
[00:47:37] Yeah, he's making a point.
[00:47:38] We just seen somebody
[00:47:39] go for it.
[00:47:40] That's why I said he's wilding.
[00:47:40] No, it's a double standard
[00:47:42] that we have to live with.
[00:47:44] I'm not against
[00:47:45] double standards.
[00:47:46] I'm against it
[00:47:47] when we can't use them
[00:47:48] as a wild.
[00:47:49] I have no problem
[00:47:51] with the double standard.
[00:47:52] But there's a double standard
[00:47:54] for me too
[00:47:54] that I can use.
[00:47:56] And what is that?
[00:47:57] You don't want...
[00:47:58] You don't want...
[00:48:00] I'll be back next Saturday.
[00:48:04] The goal is to go in...
[00:48:05] I still want to go home.
[00:48:07] I'm not ready
[00:48:08] for the end.
[00:48:09] This week...
[00:48:10] Oh, okay.
[00:48:11] So you have the mindset of,
[00:48:14] yo, I like this here.
[00:48:16] I don't want to mess it up.
[00:48:16] I know that me saying this
[00:48:18] may risk it ending.
[00:48:20] I understand that all things
[00:48:21] come to an end,
[00:48:22] but I don't want it to end
[00:48:23] right now.
[00:48:24] So why not have that?
[00:48:25] Why not?
[00:48:26] I don't want this to end now.
[00:48:28] And further it along.
[00:48:31] Keep pushing the time.
[00:48:32] Yeah.
[00:48:33] Because you know...
[00:48:34] Okay, boom.
[00:48:35] You just displayed right now
[00:48:37] a level of self-control
[00:48:38] of saying,
[00:48:39] if I say this,
[00:48:41] this is going to be
[00:48:42] a long day.
[00:48:43] Right?
[00:48:45] So that self-control
[00:48:47] it may require
[00:48:50] more strength.
[00:48:51] Right?
[00:48:52] The self-control
[00:48:53] of knowing that,
[00:48:55] oh,
[00:48:55] as men,
[00:48:56] yes,
[00:48:56] this is double standard
[00:48:57] because it don't work for us,
[00:48:58] but yes,
[00:48:59] I am losing myself.
[00:49:00] Right?
[00:49:01] Or I have these moments
[00:49:02] where I'm not feeling like
[00:49:04] who I am in my nature.
[00:49:06] Right?
[00:49:07] So instead of going to chase that,
[00:49:11] the self-control of,
[00:49:12] you know what?
[00:49:12] I can tame the beast.
[00:49:15] You can't tame the beast.
[00:49:16] Yes, you can.
[00:49:17] Yes, you can.
[00:49:17] No, you can't.
[00:49:18] Yes, you can.
[00:49:18] I've never cheated
[00:49:19] in a relationship.
[00:49:20] You're lying.
[00:49:21] And that's why...
[00:49:23] How you telling me
[00:49:24] I'm lying, bro?
[00:49:25] You're lying.
[00:49:26] I've always
[00:49:27] Have you flirted
[00:49:27] with another woman?
[00:49:28] The beast.
[00:49:29] No.
[00:49:29] Have you flirted
[00:49:29] with another woman
[00:49:30] while you're in a relationship?
[00:49:30] I've been flirting with
[00:49:31] and I have the sign...
[00:49:33] You know what?
[00:49:34] Take that though.
[00:49:34] Yeah, take that.
[00:49:35] Take that.
[00:49:36] Take that.
[00:49:36] I've been flirting with.
[00:49:37] They have thrown it at me
[00:49:39] in relationships.
[00:49:41] Matter of fact,
[00:49:42] I've literally had to resist
[00:49:45] the...
[00:49:45] I wouldn't say an op,
[00:49:46] but a former friend
[00:49:48] of that person.
[00:49:50] And that's...
[00:49:51] That means the woman
[00:49:52] wasn't enough pressure.
[00:49:53] Because the...
[00:49:55] Cardi B come up to you
[00:49:56] while you're married.
[00:49:57] What's happening?
[00:50:00] Wop.
[00:50:05] Exactly.
[00:50:06] The beast is a team.
[00:50:08] You just have control
[00:50:09] over him until his situation...
[00:50:10] The right situation
[00:50:12] presents itself.
[00:50:15] I feel like...
[00:50:17] I love how Kojo
[00:50:18] stays silent.
[00:50:19] Yo, I...
[00:50:20] And then he...
[00:50:22] Kojo was sitting
[00:50:23] and saying,
[00:50:23] oh, I wasn't quiet, bro.
[00:50:24] I just...
[00:50:25] Whatever, bro.
[00:50:26] I'm literally looking at it.
[00:50:27] It's balanced.
[00:50:27] I know a lot of folks
[00:50:28] who haven't seen that
[00:50:29] football.
[00:50:29] Yo, bro.
[00:50:30] No, it's a podcast.
[00:50:32] It's a podcast, bro.
[00:50:34] I ain't getting married,
[00:50:35] so I don't...
[00:50:36] It's...
[00:50:36] You never?
[00:50:37] Not right now, no.
[00:50:38] Me neither.
[00:50:39] You still give insight
[00:50:40] to the conversation.
[00:50:42] What you mean?
[00:50:42] I was listening
[00:50:43] and this nigga was going off.
[00:50:44] I had no challenges, bro.
[00:50:45] Okay.
[00:50:47] So, I...
[00:50:48] Like, we had a...
[00:50:49] You know what Kojo's doing?
[00:50:50] We're taking this house.
[00:50:51] Yeah, we had a call in
[00:50:53] just now.
[00:50:54] We ain't never do that.
[00:50:54] That was great, yo.
[00:50:57] We should do that more often, bro.
[00:50:58] We should.
[00:50:59] I'm gonna get the why in,
[00:51:00] so...
[00:51:01] Yeah, man.
[00:51:01] Don't worry about me, man.
[00:51:03] That's funny.
[00:51:03] But, yeah, so...
[00:51:05] Long story short,
[00:51:07] to wrap up,
[00:51:08] the why not mentality
[00:51:10] for me
[00:51:11] is now,
[00:51:13] you know,
[00:51:15] a mindset
[00:51:16] that I'm gonna take forward
[00:51:17] and it's funny enough
[00:51:19] that...
[00:51:21] Being poured into like that,
[00:51:23] feeling that
[00:51:24] from that particular person,
[00:51:27] it then made me...
[00:51:29] We got to a point
[00:51:30] where I had to flip that on her.
[00:51:33] Where it's like,
[00:51:34] alright, you know,
[00:51:35] why not you too?
[00:51:37] In the sense of
[00:51:38] whatever you want
[00:51:39] in life, you know?
[00:51:41] You can't pour...
[00:51:42] And I know we only spoke about
[00:51:44] one section of why not.
[00:51:46] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:51:46] But that's because...
[00:51:47] Y'all changed the subject.
[00:51:48] I would've went in my bag
[00:51:49] if we would've stayed on that one.
[00:51:50] Yeah, baby...
[00:51:51] Kojo was ready to get into...
[00:51:53] Yeah, y'all ain't gonna talk
[00:51:53] about marriage.
[00:51:54] Shit.
[00:51:55] Alright, so let's do
[00:51:56] why not part two next week.
[00:51:57] I mean...
[00:51:58] Shit.
[00:51:59] I just feel like...
[00:52:00] Because I'm 36.
[00:52:01] I feel like I'm looking
[00:52:04] at life currency a bit more
[00:52:05] than social currency.
[00:52:08] That and you suffered
[00:52:09] a good loss.
[00:52:10] Yes.
[00:52:11] That...
[00:52:12] I think death
[00:52:13] or any type of loss
[00:52:16] would change your mindset
[00:52:18] of like,
[00:52:19] why not go for this?
[00:52:21] Because time...
[00:52:22] Because I remember...
[00:52:24] Shit.
[00:52:25] I would say...
[00:52:27] I feel like I've been there
[00:52:28] for two of your bigger losses.
[00:52:32] And I remember the first one
[00:52:34] is kind of like...
[00:52:36] When we was at the gravesite,
[00:52:38] you literally kept saying,
[00:52:39] I have to go get it out.
[00:52:42] Yeah.
[00:52:43] It was like this sense
[00:52:44] of urgency of like,
[00:52:46] okay,
[00:52:46] whatever I was prologuing,
[00:52:48] I don't know how long
[00:52:49] I have here.
[00:52:50] I have to go get it now.
[00:52:52] And I felt like that kind of...
[00:52:54] Switches.
[00:52:54] Yeah, that switch.
[00:52:56] So...
[00:52:57] We understand how precious time is.
[00:52:59] Yeah.
[00:52:59] And one thing
[00:53:01] I remember you saying
[00:53:02] is like,
[00:53:03] how you wanted to be
[00:53:03] the granddad
[00:53:05] in the barbecue
[00:53:07] cooking.
[00:53:07] But if we starting at 40,
[00:53:09] how much time do we really have
[00:53:11] to make it to that?
[00:53:12] Oh, he telling you
[00:53:13] to nuttin' her tonight.
[00:53:14] No, I'm not saying that.
[00:53:16] No, that's what he's saying.
[00:53:17] Essentially.
[00:53:18] If she a good one,
[00:53:19] do it.
[00:53:20] Because
[00:53:21] you can end up a baby
[00:53:22] father, baby mother.
[00:53:24] Whether you get married or not.
[00:53:26] He is saying
[00:53:27] shoot that shit up
[00:53:29] tonight.
[00:53:30] So you...
[00:53:30] So you...
[00:53:31] So you...
[00:53:32] When you think
[00:53:33] you're 40
[00:53:34] and your kid is 20,
[00:53:36] they ain't even graduate.
[00:53:38] And you know how much time
[00:53:39] you got left though.
[00:53:39] If we...
[00:53:40] How much time do you have...
[00:53:41] We know men
[00:53:41] will pass away
[00:53:43] 50s, 60s, 70s.
[00:53:45] Like,
[00:53:45] have those kids.
[00:53:46] Now,
[00:53:47] whether...
[00:53:48] Find the one
[00:53:48] that you love.
[00:53:49] This message
[00:53:50] is not sponsored by
[00:53:51] what's the guy...
[00:53:52] I ain't gonna front.
[00:53:53] Women put...
[00:53:54] Oh, really?
[00:53:54] Not gonna front?
[00:53:55] No, no, no.
[00:53:56] Let's finish.
[00:53:56] Let's finish.
[00:53:57] I will speak.
[00:53:57] Think about what I'm saying.
[00:53:58] Hold on, look.
[00:53:59] Because we didn't hear him
[00:54:00] speak in a while.
[00:54:00] No, growing up,
[00:54:01] my parents had me a bit older.
[00:54:04] I didn't want that for myself.
[00:54:05] Right?
[00:54:06] I see my brother now.
[00:54:07] Right?
[00:54:07] My brother,
[00:54:08] he's 11 years my senior.
[00:54:10] My nephew,
[00:54:10] his child
[00:54:12] is now 18 years old.
[00:54:13] Right?
[00:54:14] When Nori grows up,
[00:54:15] maybe in another
[00:54:16] eight to 10 years,
[00:54:18] he will have a child.
[00:54:20] Maybe.
[00:54:20] God willing.
[00:54:22] My brother will be able
[00:54:23] to be alive,
[00:54:24] well kicking,
[00:54:25] and seeing that shit.
[00:54:26] I want that for myself.
[00:54:27] But a Bo had Nori
[00:54:28] when he was 25 years old.
[00:54:30] Bro, like...
[00:54:31] So, you know what that means?
[00:54:33] Whenever you wanna have a kid.
[00:54:34] We're scared.
[00:54:35] We're scared.
[00:54:36] Nah.
[00:54:36] I would love to have
[00:54:37] a kid tomorrow, bro.
[00:54:39] I'm being 100, bro.
[00:54:40] I want a baby, bro.
[00:54:42] Joe?
[00:54:43] I have a great job.
[00:54:44] The thing is,
[00:54:45] I have my god children.
[00:54:47] I can grow up
[00:54:48] and love them
[00:54:49] the same way
[00:54:49] that was all my children.
[00:54:50] But,
[00:54:51] yeah, I want that.
[00:54:52] I do want that.
[00:54:53] I would love to...
[00:54:54] I would love that.
[00:54:55] Zoom it on him.
[00:54:57] No way.
[00:54:58] I get the god kids.
[00:55:00] Yeah, nah.
[00:55:01] Those aren't mine.
[00:55:02] Nephews.
[00:55:02] Give them back.
[00:55:03] Have them, bro.
[00:55:05] So, you know
[00:55:06] what that means, Joe?
[00:55:08] Bro?
[00:55:09] You go to San Juan?
[00:55:12] Oh, yeah.
[00:55:12] We got in the small town.
[00:55:15] I'll allow it.
[00:55:23] Wrap it up, Tom.
[00:55:24] Let's go.
[00:55:25] Make sure you don't do it.
[00:55:26] In fact...
[00:55:27] We already know it.
[00:55:28] That's a different type of water
[00:55:29] you better not be afraid of,
[00:55:31] my brother.
[00:55:32] You better go swimming in that water.
[00:55:34] Yeah, I'm actually terrified of water.
[00:55:36] Not that water, boy.
[00:55:38] Make me water.
[00:55:39] Yeah, you're sick as well.
[00:55:41] We lose my birth.
[00:55:42] That's scary.
[00:55:43] When I think of...
[00:55:45] When I think of my brother,
[00:55:47] my dad would never know
[00:55:48] if he got married
[00:55:49] before I had kids.
[00:55:50] If I didn't have a kid
[00:55:51] when I had a kid,
[00:55:52] my dad would have never known
[00:55:53] what it was like
[00:55:54] to be a grandparent.
[00:55:55] And those are milestones
[00:55:56] for your parents.
[00:55:57] Yeah, that's true.
[00:55:59] So, like...
[00:56:00] I know we play...
[00:56:02] So, time is still ticking.
[00:56:04] And the longer you wait,
[00:56:06] your own personal goals,
[00:56:07] your own personal...
[00:56:08] for your family,
[00:56:09] how much of your family
[00:56:10] you want to see down the tree.
[00:56:13] That's all the time.
[00:56:14] That's all the time.
[00:56:14] Men don't have...
[00:56:14] Men don't have biological clocks,
[00:56:16] but let's be fucking real.
[00:56:18] Let me start that game.
[00:56:19] But let me...
[00:56:20] Let me start that game.
[00:56:21] Let me start that game.
[00:56:22] Let me fix my situation a little bit.
[00:56:24] That's fair.
[00:56:24] I don't want to have a kid.
[00:56:25] You know what I'm saying?
[00:56:26] But to be in a six-year relationship,
[00:56:29] not have a kid.
[00:56:30] How long you in here?
[00:56:31] I ain't...
[00:56:31] I ain't...
[00:56:32] I ain't...
[00:56:32] I ain't...
[00:56:33] I ain't...
[00:56:33] He said kid.
[00:56:35] He had his out.
[00:56:36] He put a kid in there.
[00:56:37] Marriage, relationship,
[00:56:39] is totally different.
[00:56:41] Well, we just...
[00:56:42] I just want your girlfriend
[00:56:44] to know...
[00:56:48] There may be a lot of bleeps
[00:56:49] in this, but I don't know.
[00:56:50] No, no, no.
[00:56:51] That's a subtitle, bro.
[00:56:52] She was definitely protected
[00:56:54] during this recording.
[00:56:55] Two episodes.
[00:56:57] We fucking old D.
[00:56:58] Shout out to her.
[00:56:58] Yeah, facts.
[00:56:59] Yeah, facts.
[00:57:00] Shout out to her.
[00:57:01] You know...
[00:57:01] But you already know...
[00:57:03] Yo, you already know
[00:57:04] this motherfuckers.
[00:57:05] It's your mother's favorite
[00:57:06] except it's Don Peasley.
[00:57:08] With Lashore.
[00:57:09] This is the greatest podcast ever.
[00:57:10] Ever, bro?
[00:57:12] Why not us, right?
[00:57:13] Why not, man?
[00:57:14] Coming out every Monday
[00:57:15] at 8 a.m.
[00:57:16] on whatstagoodguy.com.
[00:57:18] YouTube backslash
[00:57:19] whatstagoodguy.
[00:57:20] And of course,
[00:57:21] your DSPs.
[00:57:22] Just search
[00:57:23] what's a good guy, man.
[00:57:25] We enjoyed the recording.
[00:57:26] This was a great recording session.
[00:57:27] Preach, you see why
[00:57:28] we asked you to come?
[00:57:29] You know?
[00:57:30] I love being here.
[00:57:30] I love being here.
[00:57:31] I just love having a Saturday
[00:57:33] to not be a musician.
[00:57:35] I mean, you can bring
[00:57:36] Sate with us.
[00:57:36] I got bad pictures with Sate, bro.
[00:57:38] Nah.
[00:57:39] It ain't gonna work.
[00:57:39] I can't...
[00:57:40] I'll tell you.
[00:57:41] Let me...
[00:57:41] He broke my TV this week.
[00:57:43] Let me...
[00:57:44] Let me...
[00:57:44] We gonna put him right here.
[00:57:45] He's at that.
[00:57:46] He's, bro.
[00:57:47] He start moving?
[00:57:48] He's moving.
[00:57:48] He's walking.
[00:57:49] We had Manny on the pod.
[00:57:51] Mad Young.
[00:57:52] Have Sate do a drop for us.
[00:57:53] We need a new baby voice.
[00:57:56] Dad turned into what's a good guy.
[00:57:58] Well, man.
[00:57:59] Thank you for watching, man.
[00:58:01] See you next time.
[00:58:01] God is good, baby.