Episode 284: Punching Bag

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_03]: I'm in trouble with my hand.

[00:00:01] [SPEAKER_03]: Wrong on me.

[00:00:04] [SPEAKER_03]: Bro, I'm still waiting.

[00:00:06] [SPEAKER_03]: How much you need to push?

[00:00:31] [SPEAKER_03]: Or I mean the...

[00:00:33] [SPEAKER_03]: Let it show that.

[00:00:34] [SPEAKER_03]: I better go get a girl.

[00:00:35] [SPEAKER_03]: I'm having a problem.

[00:00:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so that way I be like,

[00:00:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Alright, I know this episode is fun.

[00:00:41] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, it's fine.

[00:00:42] [SPEAKER_03]: But 40 minutes of whine.

[00:00:44] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, that should be fun.

[00:00:47] [SPEAKER_03]: Say you're fucking Sanders, bro?

[00:00:50] [SPEAKER_03]: He's about to be some of this shit.

[00:00:51] [SPEAKER_03]: Huh? Yeah, both ways.

[00:00:53] [SPEAKER_00]: You don't wear hats?

[00:00:55] [SPEAKER_03]: Who me? Nah, bro.

[00:00:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Never seen you wear a hat before.

[00:00:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, in the winter, yeah.

[00:01:01] [SPEAKER_00]: Damn, right?

[00:01:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Polo beanies.

[00:01:03] [SPEAKER_03]: I need you to make one of those.

[00:01:05] [SPEAKER_03]: There's a fisherman in the shit.

[00:01:07] [SPEAKER_03]: The fisherman? Yeah.

[00:01:10] Scully.

[00:01:11] [SPEAKER_03]: That's not Jan.

[00:01:13] [SPEAKER_03]: That's not Jan.

[00:01:14] [SPEAKER_03]: I should be like to go out there and tell my

[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_03]: Taw. He got a shitload of those

[00:01:23] [SPEAKER_03]: native guys.

[00:01:26] [SPEAKER_02]: What?

[00:01:28] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.

[00:01:29] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. How?

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_00]: That's fire.

[00:01:36] [SPEAKER_00]: That's fire.

[00:01:37] [SPEAKER_00]: This nigga is out here, bro.

[00:01:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's fire. Think Sean Evans?

[00:01:40] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, he's out here.

[00:01:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, he's been out here.

[00:01:43] [SPEAKER_00]: At least they had everybody on that shit, bro.

[00:01:48] [SPEAKER_00]: That nigga was hot when he thought of that idea.

[00:01:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and it was real hot.

[00:01:52] [SPEAKER_00]: You know what would be fire?

[00:01:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Hot wings.

[00:01:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Can we do AI to do that?

[00:01:59] [SPEAKER_00]: Probably.

[00:02:01] [SPEAKER_00]: Sean said AI.

[00:02:03] [SPEAKER_03]: Get a fucking bottle.

[00:02:05] [SPEAKER_01]: This nigga put the shell on his shoulder.

[00:02:07] [SPEAKER_01]: He's going to know. I have the cup in my hand and everything.

[00:02:10] [SPEAKER_01]: You ready?

[00:02:12] [SPEAKER_01]: This nigga is a fashion guru, bro.

[00:02:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Here.

[00:02:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Three. No. Two.

[00:02:19] [SPEAKER_02]: You already know what it is

[00:02:20] [SPEAKER_02]: DeGeneres. Your most favorite lover is always

[00:02:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Donald. He's one.

[00:02:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Alongside of LaShawn.

[00:02:25] [SPEAKER_02]: What a beautiful day here. We are in Staten Island.

[00:02:28] [SPEAKER_02]: It's not that bad out here.

[00:02:30] [SPEAKER_02]: There's a mob is out here. There's a few racist people.

[00:02:32] [SPEAKER_02]: But some good Italian food out here, man.

[00:02:36] [SPEAKER_02]: We got the Feltles in the building.

[00:02:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Quonster is in the building.

[00:02:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Joseph's in the building. And Mr. Linton

[00:02:42] [SPEAKER_02]: is in the building.

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_04]: Govee is crazy.

[00:02:47] [SPEAKER_02]: I was going to say Abraham Linton

[00:02:48] [SPEAKER_02]: but either way, you know what I mean.

[00:02:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Hey, it's Scott Jalais here.

[00:02:53] [SPEAKER_00]: How you doing? Hi.

[00:02:55] [SPEAKER_02]: How you feeling? Pretty good.

[00:02:56] [SPEAKER_02]: You feeling the cleanse or something?

[00:03:00] [SPEAKER_01]: Damn.

[00:03:02] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm proud of you.

[00:03:03] [SPEAKER_01]: What's that? Muff?

[00:03:05] [SPEAKER_01]: Something like that.

[00:03:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Something like that. What's going on?

[00:03:09] [SPEAKER_02]: What's going on? Slim.

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_00]: How you feeling, Slim?

[00:03:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Slim and hungry.

[00:03:15] [SPEAKER_00]: I can't wait to eat.

[00:03:17] [SPEAKER_02]: What? Nah, I'm not going.

[00:03:19] [SPEAKER_02]: How you feeling, Nicole?

[00:03:20] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not going to start with this.

[00:03:24] [SPEAKER_00]: It's you this time.

[00:03:24] [SPEAKER_02]: No, that wasn't wrong.

[00:03:26] [SPEAKER_02]: What did I say to him, bro?

[00:03:28] [SPEAKER_02]: What did I say to him?

[00:03:29] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you guys.

[00:03:32] [SPEAKER_02]: What did I say to him though?

[00:03:34] [SPEAKER_02]: You didn't have to say it.

[00:03:36] [SPEAKER_02]: You implied it.

[00:03:37] [SPEAKER_02]: I think I keep saying it sometimes.

[00:03:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Tell me what I said.

[00:03:42] [SPEAKER_02]: You said what you said.

[00:03:42] [SPEAKER_02]: You can't win an argument with nobody.

[00:03:44] [SPEAKER_00]: You're not supposed to go into an argument

[00:03:47] [SPEAKER_00]: trying to win or lose.

[00:03:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Shout out to Dave Hall, baby.

[00:03:51] [SPEAKER_02]: I knew that's where you was going to go, bro.

[00:03:53] [SPEAKER_04]: What happened?

[00:03:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Long story.

[00:03:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Not for the part.

[00:03:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Not this episode.

[00:04:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Losing the part for about an hour and 30 minutes.

[00:04:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Trying to tell him, no.

[00:04:06] [SPEAKER_02]: What's going on in LA?

[00:04:07] [SPEAKER_02]: What we got on the call sheet?

[00:04:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Because you didn't send us one today.

[00:04:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I never do.

[00:04:13] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to start sending call sheets then.

[00:04:15] [SPEAKER_02]: I see how much I'm doing that.

[00:04:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Cool. Boom.

[00:04:20] [SPEAKER_00]: We've talked about this episode

[00:04:21] [SPEAKER_00]: on previous episodes.

[00:04:23] [SPEAKER_00]: So let's finally do it.

[00:04:27] [SPEAKER_00]: The punching bag.

[00:04:30] [SPEAKER_00]: What do you mean, mother?

[00:04:32] [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like...

[00:04:35] [SPEAKER_00]: Well, first, let's...

[00:04:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Let's be Mr. Literal, right?

[00:04:40] [SPEAKER_00]: Because you know me.

[00:04:41] [SPEAKER_00]: I am Mr. Literal.

[00:04:43] [SPEAKER_00]: So let's...

[00:04:45] [SPEAKER_00]: I Google searched

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_00]: what is a punching bag

[00:04:49] [SPEAKER_00]: for?

[00:04:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Listen. Strength training.

[00:04:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Punching bag can help you improve your strength, power, and stamina.

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_00]: You can also

[00:04:59] [SPEAKER_00]: use a heavy bag too to practice punching

[00:05:01] [SPEAKER_00]: and kicking with maximum force to build

[00:05:03] [SPEAKER_00]: your strength and endurance.

[00:05:05] [SPEAKER_00]: Cardio.

[00:05:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Punching bag can help you improve your cardio fitness.

[00:05:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Working out on a punching bag

[00:05:11] [SPEAKER_00]: can push you past your cardio comfort zone

[00:05:13] [SPEAKER_00]: which can help you build endurance.

[00:05:16] [SPEAKER_00]: That makes me feel better.

[00:05:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Listen to this one. Stress relief.

[00:05:21] [SPEAKER_00]: Punching bag

[00:05:21] [SPEAKER_00]: can help you release energy and frustration

[00:05:23] [SPEAKER_00]: to reduce stress.

[00:05:25] [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like at times

[00:05:28] [SPEAKER_00]: the people closest to us

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_00]: use this as a punching bag.

[00:05:34] And...

[00:05:35] [SPEAKER_00]: In the moment, they may not

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_00]: notice because, you know,

[00:05:38] [SPEAKER_00]: they're in it. But if

[00:05:40] [SPEAKER_00]: they don't have a direct

[00:05:42] [SPEAKER_00]: channel to release that energy,

[00:05:46] [SPEAKER_00]: because

[00:05:46] [SPEAKER_00]: we're probably in the closest

[00:05:48] [SPEAKER_00]: facility of... Proximity.

[00:05:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Proximity. Good word. Of them

[00:05:52] [SPEAKER_00]: and their emotions at the time,

[00:05:55] [SPEAKER_00]: they then release it on us.

[00:05:59] [SPEAKER_00]: And...

[00:05:59] [SPEAKER_00]: It's actually

[00:06:00] [SPEAKER_00]: so much a punching bag can

[00:06:02] [SPEAKER_00]: take before

[00:06:04] [SPEAKER_00]: it's time to go back.

[00:06:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Until it breaks.

[00:06:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it just breaks.

[00:06:15] [SPEAKER_00]: And...

[00:06:16] [SPEAKER_00]: There was a moment of time where you

[00:06:18] [SPEAKER_00]: kinda... Where I kinda realized like

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_00]: yo, I no longer

[00:06:22] [SPEAKER_00]: wanna be your punching bag.

[00:06:24] [SPEAKER_00]: You know...

[00:06:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't take my

[00:06:28] [SPEAKER_00]: support and my...

[00:06:32] [SPEAKER_00]: My presence

[00:06:34] [SPEAKER_00]: as an opportunity to kinda

[00:06:36] [SPEAKER_00]: dump your frustration out.

[00:06:38] [SPEAKER_00]: And... And I feel like,

[00:06:40] [SPEAKER_00]: you know, if you don't... If you...

[00:06:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes you're not, you know,

[00:06:43] [SPEAKER_00]: sometimes you don't notice it.

[00:06:46] [SPEAKER_00]: Well, the person doesn't notice it.

[00:06:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes they kinda

[00:06:49] [SPEAKER_00]: confuse their

[00:06:51] [SPEAKER_00]: venting and their

[00:06:54] [SPEAKER_00]: release of frustration

[00:06:56] [SPEAKER_00]: in different ways.

[00:06:58] [SPEAKER_00]: But the physical and emotional

[00:07:00] [SPEAKER_00]: impact that it can take

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_00]: can

[00:07:04] [SPEAKER_00]: hurt. And the irony

[00:07:06] [SPEAKER_00]: of a punching bag, it helps you get

[00:07:08] [SPEAKER_00]: stronger. They keep using

[00:07:10] [SPEAKER_00]: you as a punching bag. It's only gonna hurt more

[00:07:12] [SPEAKER_00]: because they got stronger.

[00:07:14] [SPEAKER_02]: So what point do you tell a person like, yo, enough

[00:07:16] [SPEAKER_02]: is enough?

[00:07:18] [SPEAKER_00]: I think noticing

[00:07:20] [SPEAKER_00]: for a while it took...

[00:07:22] [SPEAKER_00]: It took for me to...

[00:07:24] [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't even notice I was a

[00:07:25] [SPEAKER_00]: punching bag for a while because, you know,

[00:07:27] [SPEAKER_00]: you just... You kinda be like, yo, they going

[00:07:30] [SPEAKER_00]: through what they going through. So you kinda

[00:07:31] [SPEAKER_00]: really don't assess it in

[00:07:34] [SPEAKER_00]: that way. You kinda realize, alright,

[00:07:36] [SPEAKER_00]: they just going through, you know,

[00:07:38] [SPEAKER_00]: this is what they going through. And in

[00:07:41] some...

[00:07:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Unfortunately, sometimes you think

[00:07:44] [SPEAKER_00]: that's a part of what you're supposed to do in a relationship.

[00:07:46] [SPEAKER_00]: Like, be there

[00:07:48] [SPEAKER_00]: quote unquote punching bag. Not in the

[00:07:50] [SPEAKER_00]: literal sense but, you know, somewhere where they could feel

[00:07:52] [SPEAKER_00]: good to release their

[00:07:54] [SPEAKER_01]: frustration. Yeah.

[00:07:57] [SPEAKER_00]: But

[00:07:58] [SPEAKER_00]: a punching bag can get worn out.

[00:08:01] [SPEAKER_00]: You know?

[00:08:01] [SPEAKER_00]: And that's when you

[00:08:04] [SPEAKER_00]: ironically gotta release the punching bag

[00:08:06] [SPEAKER_00]: from the chain. And

[00:08:08] [SPEAKER_00]: move on.

[00:08:10] [SPEAKER_00]: So that's for me when I

[00:08:13] [SPEAKER_00]: um... You know,

[00:08:14] [SPEAKER_00]: I got to a point where it's like, yo, I'm really

[00:08:16] [SPEAKER_00]: tired of being a punching bag. Like,

[00:08:18] [SPEAKER_00]: I get life is hard

[00:08:19] [SPEAKER_00]: and I get that you would want me to

[00:08:22] [SPEAKER_00]: be here for you but the way

[00:08:23] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm here for you is not

[00:08:26] [SPEAKER_00]: for you to release your

[00:08:28] [SPEAKER_00]: frustrations out on me because maybe

[00:08:29] [SPEAKER_00]: for example, right?

[00:08:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Let's make this as simple

[00:08:36] [SPEAKER_00]: as possible where nobody

[00:08:38] [SPEAKER_00]: gets in trouble.

[00:08:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Somebody... You dating

[00:08:41] [SPEAKER_00]: a person, they got a

[00:08:44] [SPEAKER_00]: hard day at work.

[00:08:46] [SPEAKER_00]: They ain't going to tell their boss, yo

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_00]: fuck off. But they come home

[00:08:50] [SPEAKER_00]: angry and you're like, yo,

[00:08:52] [SPEAKER_00]: what's... Oh...

[00:08:58] [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying? Or, or,

[00:09:00] [SPEAKER_00]: or...

[00:09:01] [SPEAKER_00]: You come home from work, you got

[00:09:04] [SPEAKER_00]: home first. We all bros,

[00:09:06] [SPEAKER_00]: we on the game. We on

[00:09:08] [SPEAKER_00]: the game. She had that same hard

[00:09:10] [SPEAKER_00]: day at work. So I guess

[00:09:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm a fucking maid. I gotta clean up the dishes

[00:09:15] [SPEAKER_00]: and... And you thinking

[00:09:16] [SPEAKER_00]: of yourself, damn, I'm just with the...

[00:09:21] [SPEAKER_00]: What just happened?

[00:09:22] [SPEAKER_00]: I was thinking.

[00:09:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Like, bro, what the fuck?

[00:09:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Yo, y'all you good? I'll talk to y'all later,

[00:09:28] [SPEAKER_02]: man. I'll talk to y'all later.

[00:09:31] [SPEAKER_00]: I ain't gonna say no,

[00:09:32] [SPEAKER_00]: but the mic just plugs out. They ain't

[00:09:34] [SPEAKER_00]: talking no more. They was just talking

[00:09:37] [SPEAKER_00]: all... You know somebody...

[00:09:38] [SPEAKER_00]: I can say OTP, OTP,

[00:09:41] [SPEAKER_00]: But y'all don't know OTP stands for

[00:09:44] [SPEAKER_02]: on the phone. Damn, Kani, you was on

[00:09:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Call of Duty at that time too?

[00:09:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Nah, I wasn't. I was on OTP bro.

[00:09:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Kani was there, but I don't think he noticed it as

[00:09:52] [SPEAKER_04]: the pattern. Nah, I didn't.

[00:09:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Damn, homie girl just came home with the mic

[00:09:56] [SPEAKER_00]: and you know, like, you know Call of Duty, you can see the mics.

[00:09:59] [SPEAKER_00]: I ain't caught that.

[00:10:01] [SPEAKER_00]: You ain't tell me niggas around the corner. What the fuck you doing?

[00:10:05] [SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, that is one of the easiest

[00:10:07] [SPEAKER_00]: examples that I could... I easily

[00:10:10] [SPEAKER_00]: could draw up. Like, you know,

[00:10:14] [SPEAKER_00]: sometimes it gets tough.

[00:10:16] [SPEAKER_00]: It gets tougher than that. You know,

[00:10:17] [SPEAKER_00]: I've been in situations where... You can pass traumas.

[00:10:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Not even pass traumas,

[00:10:22] [SPEAKER_00]: new traumas. Being there where

[00:10:24] [SPEAKER_00]: for somebody who is developing a new

[00:10:26] [SPEAKER_00]: trauma.

[00:10:28] [SPEAKER_00]: And helping them navigate

[00:10:30] [SPEAKER_00]: through that, but understanding

[00:10:32] [SPEAKER_00]: that that shit is hard for them

[00:10:34] [SPEAKER_00]: too. It's a lot of

[00:10:36] [SPEAKER_00]: grace given.

[00:10:39] [SPEAKER_00]: But it's only so much

[00:10:40] [SPEAKER_00]: a person can endure.

[00:10:44] [SPEAKER_00]: I think

[00:10:46] [SPEAKER_00]: trying to vocalize that,

[00:10:48] [SPEAKER_00]: you know,

[00:10:51] [SPEAKER_00]: and if they're still

[00:10:52] [SPEAKER_00]: angry, then they may not

[00:10:54] [SPEAKER_00]: hear you when

[00:10:56] [SPEAKER_00]: you say, yo, you're abusing them.

[00:10:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Or they might not take it as the

[00:11:00] [SPEAKER_02]: way you're actually saying it.

[00:11:06] [SPEAKER_00]: recognizing the signs,

[00:11:09] [SPEAKER_00]: right?

[00:11:11] [SPEAKER_00]: You feel

[00:11:12] [SPEAKER_00]: drained or exhausted with every

[00:11:14] [SPEAKER_00]: interaction.

[00:11:16] [SPEAKER_00]: And they think,

[00:11:17] [SPEAKER_00]: they think you got a

[00:11:20] [SPEAKER_00]: fuse.

[00:11:22] [SPEAKER_00]: With all actuality,

[00:11:25] [SPEAKER_00]: not that they're draining

[00:11:26] [SPEAKER_00]: you, you're just fatigued.

[00:11:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Like, you're

[00:11:30] [SPEAKER_00]: beat up.

[00:11:31] [SPEAKER_00]: What are you fatigued by?

[00:11:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Them. That means they're draining you.

[00:11:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Not innocent, but

[00:11:38] [SPEAKER_00]: not in that actual

[00:11:40] [SPEAKER_00]: instant. Right?

[00:11:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so like it could be a regular

[00:11:44] [SPEAKER_00]: day and they'd be like,

[00:11:47] [SPEAKER_00]: I can speak for me.

[00:11:48] [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like this is safer for me and all y'all.

[00:11:52] [SPEAKER_00]: I could be interacting with somebody

[00:11:53] [SPEAKER_00]: and they'd be like, yo, you always seem

[00:11:55] [SPEAKER_00]: like you unhappy with me.

[00:11:57] [SPEAKER_00]: So they think it in this moment

[00:11:59] [SPEAKER_00]: and not overall.

[00:12:02] [SPEAKER_00]: But in reflection

[00:12:03] [SPEAKER_00]: it's like, nah, I just haven't

[00:12:05] [SPEAKER_00]: recovered. You know

[00:12:07] [SPEAKER_00]: what I'm saying? It's like as much as

[00:12:09] [SPEAKER_00]: we strength train in the gym

[00:12:11] [SPEAKER_02]: You give your muscles enough time to recover. There's no rest day.

[00:12:13] [SPEAKER_00]: You're doing seven days straight.

[00:12:16] [SPEAKER_00]: And imagine that

[00:12:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Imagine that in

[00:12:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Imagine that in an emotional

[00:12:21] [SPEAKER_00]: aspect. Like, damn

[00:12:23] [SPEAKER_00]: like

[00:12:24] [SPEAKER_00]: You know what? And then if you

[00:12:27] [SPEAKER_00]: don't check it early

[00:12:29] [SPEAKER_00]: you end up the problem.

[00:12:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Because they look at you like, yo, you're so

[00:12:33] [SPEAKER_00]: short with me. Like, you're so agitated

[00:12:35] [SPEAKER_00]: but you never vocalize

[00:12:37] [SPEAKER_00]: like, well you know what? Not

[00:12:39] [SPEAKER_00]: that. And for me

[00:12:41] [SPEAKER_00]: I kinda

[00:12:42] [SPEAKER_02]: If you're not verbal about it how the hell would I know?

[00:12:45] [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm hesitant on it because

[00:12:47] [SPEAKER_00]: I never want to bring up a problem when somebody

[00:12:49] [SPEAKER_00]: bringing up a problem. But technically

[00:12:52] [SPEAKER_00]: that's the best time to bring

[00:12:53] [SPEAKER_02]: up that problem. But why you not telling me?

[00:12:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Because I don't want you to get your shit off. You agree

[00:12:57] [SPEAKER_02]: with that?

[00:12:59] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think

[00:13:01] [SPEAKER_00]: You agree with that?

[00:13:04] [SPEAKER_00]: We've got

[00:13:05] [SPEAKER_00]: quantity to stick.

[00:13:09] [SPEAKER_04]: Meaning

[00:13:10] [SPEAKER_04]: the best time

[00:13:11] [SPEAKER_04]: to bring up a problem is when we're talking

[00:13:13] [SPEAKER_00]: about a problem. Not the best time.

[00:13:15] [SPEAKER_00]: No, that's why I said I don't do it because I don't

[00:13:17] [SPEAKER_00]: want to be that person. But it's like

[00:13:19] [SPEAKER_02]: yo bro, you're trying to figure out why I'm

[00:13:21] [SPEAKER_02]: mad I'm short with you? This is why.

[00:13:24] [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, so like say

[00:13:25] [SPEAKER_00]: in the instance of like, yo, I haven't

[00:13:28] [SPEAKER_00]: vocalized me feeling like

[00:13:29] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm a punch bag in this relationship, right?

[00:13:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Nah, I get it. And then she finally

[00:13:33] [SPEAKER_00]: brings up an issue. Like

[00:13:35] [SPEAKER_00]: yo, you being mad short, like

[00:13:37] [SPEAKER_00]: you always seem agitated

[00:13:39] [SPEAKER_00]: and then I just said, well you know why?

[00:13:41] [SPEAKER_00]: It's because I feel like

[00:13:43] [SPEAKER_00]: you know, I don't like being on

[00:13:46] [SPEAKER_00]: the receiving end of that. So I don't like

[00:13:47] [SPEAKER_04]: doing that.

[00:13:48] [SPEAKER_04]: So is it okay when it's a problem that's

[00:13:52] [SPEAKER_04]: aligning with why you've been tight?

[00:13:54] [SPEAKER_04]: Because what if you just come out of left field

[00:13:55] [SPEAKER_04]: like oh, I'm mad about

[00:13:57] [SPEAKER_04]: something that happened three weeks ago.

[00:13:59] [SPEAKER_02]: You can't do that.

[00:14:01] [SPEAKER_02]: You're in the wrong.

[00:14:03] [SPEAKER_02]: If it's aligning

[00:14:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it has to do with that.

[00:14:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Why didn't you speak up before?

[00:14:08] [SPEAKER_04]: So do you think that you have to

[00:14:10] [SPEAKER_04]: do you think that you have to

[00:14:12] [SPEAKER_04]: say every problem or do you think that at a certain

[00:14:14] [SPEAKER_04]: point people should just know what it is that they're

[00:14:16] [SPEAKER_02]: doing? You don't have to say every problem.

[00:14:18] [SPEAKER_02]: It feels like, it depends how big

[00:14:20] [SPEAKER_00]: the problem is. You don't want to sound like you nitpicking

[00:14:22] [SPEAKER_00]: either. Cause if you say every problem

[00:14:24] [SPEAKER_02]: nigga, now we're at every problem.

[00:14:26] [SPEAKER_04]: This is my life man.

[00:14:28] [SPEAKER_04]: I have to nitpick it.

[00:14:30] [SPEAKER_04]: This is my life. Why didn't you have to like

[00:14:33] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not

[00:14:34] [SPEAKER_02]: gonna do all that. But you think that's

[00:14:36] [SPEAKER_02]: another problem. You paid the light bill, right?

[00:14:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, thanks.

[00:14:39] [SPEAKER_02]: It's like oh

[00:14:42] [SPEAKER_02]: You left the AC on when we went out.

[00:14:43] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean that's a huge problem.

[00:14:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, Connet went up.

[00:14:48] [SPEAKER_02]: My Connetison bill came in today.

[00:14:51] [SPEAKER_00]: They don't mind texting me.

[00:14:53] [SPEAKER_02]: This nigga sent me that mail.

[00:14:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Son of a bitch.

[00:14:56] [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know. I don't think

[00:14:57] [SPEAKER_04]: not that I don't think but sometimes it is

[00:15:00] [SPEAKER_04]: a bit of a drag having

[00:15:02] [SPEAKER_04]: to talk about what you're feeling

[00:15:04] [SPEAKER_04]: or having to

[00:15:06] [SPEAKER_04]: say certain things when it's like bro we're

[00:15:08] [SPEAKER_04]: adults. You should understand this.

[00:15:10] [SPEAKER_04]: You should get that.

[00:15:12] [SPEAKER_04]: I think we all got our own.

[00:15:14] [SPEAKER_04]: People are adults.

[00:15:17] [SPEAKER_00]: I think you put too much

[00:15:18] [SPEAKER_00]: on that bro.

[00:15:22] [SPEAKER_04]: I don't want to put too little on people.

[00:15:24] [SPEAKER_04]: I expect things from people.

[00:15:26] [SPEAKER_04]: I don't walk around with no expectations.

[00:15:27] [SPEAKER_00]: How would they know without seeing it?

[00:15:30] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm not talking about like something

[00:15:32] [SPEAKER_04]: oddly specific. I mean something that's like

[00:15:37] [SPEAKER_04]: don't speak to

[00:15:38] [SPEAKER_04]: a service provider like terribly

[00:15:40] [SPEAKER_04]: like don't be like if you're one of those

[00:15:42] [SPEAKER_04]: people that you have to be talked to in that kind

[00:15:44] [SPEAKER_04]: of manner then

[00:15:46] [SPEAKER_04]: but certain things I feel like

[00:15:48] [SPEAKER_04]: you should just know or you should just be okay with

[00:15:51] [SPEAKER_04]: like let me think

[00:15:52] [SPEAKER_04]: about something and get back to you.

[00:15:54] [SPEAKER_00]: While you think, please

[00:15:56] [SPEAKER_00]: keep that on the top of your head.

[00:15:57] [SPEAKER_00]: So

[00:16:01] [SPEAKER_00]: where was I at?

[00:16:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Am I in the right episode?

[00:16:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I am.

[00:16:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Okay.

[00:16:11] [SPEAKER_00]: Boom. Constantly being

[00:16:14] [SPEAKER_00]: blamed or criticized for things

[00:16:16] [SPEAKER_00]: beyond your control. Now we talked

[00:16:17] [SPEAKER_00]: about we did an episode called

[00:16:21] [SPEAKER_00]: Out of Your Control

[00:16:22] [SPEAKER_00]: and we've always talked about

[00:16:24] [SPEAKER_00]: control what you can control.

[00:16:27] [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes

[00:16:28] [SPEAKER_00]: you know when you feel like

[00:16:30] [SPEAKER_00]: you are the

[00:16:32] [SPEAKER_00]: blame man for every

[00:16:34] [SPEAKER_00]: and any inconvenience

[00:16:36] [SPEAKER_00]: even if you play

[00:16:38] [SPEAKER_00]: maybe a small percentage of

[00:16:40] [SPEAKER_00]: fault, right? But

[00:16:43] [SPEAKER_00]: the real

[00:16:44] [SPEAKER_00]: underlying issue is the person

[00:16:46] [SPEAKER_00]: not taking accountability.

[00:16:48] [SPEAKER_00]: But instead of them doing that they point you

[00:16:50] [SPEAKER_00]: they put you as the blame man.

[00:16:52] [SPEAKER_00]: It's kind of like damn like

[00:16:53] [SPEAKER_00]: don't make it seem like I'm

[00:16:56] [SPEAKER_00]: the reason why everything in your life

[00:16:58] [SPEAKER_00]: is going wrong.

[00:17:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Or it can be

[00:17:02] [SPEAKER_00]: one subject that literally

[00:17:03] [SPEAKER_00]: has nothing to do with you but somehow

[00:17:07] [SPEAKER_00]: we get

[00:17:07] [SPEAKER_00]: to how LaShawn

[00:17:10] [SPEAKER_00]: played a role in this.

[00:17:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Yo bro if I leave you right now your

[00:17:13] [SPEAKER_00]: life still fucked up.

[00:17:15] [SPEAKER_00]: So let's not blame LaShawn

[00:17:18] [SPEAKER_00]: for why your life is fucked up.

[00:17:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't make me the villain in your story. Matter of fact let me leave you

[00:17:21] [SPEAKER_00]: for two months and call you two months later

[00:17:24] [SPEAKER_00]: like hey you still going through that?

[00:17:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh I guess it wasn't me motherfucker.

[00:17:29] [SPEAKER_00]: Surprise

[00:17:29] [SPEAKER_00]: motherfucker.

[00:17:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Large fries motherfucker. Apple pies

[00:17:33] [SPEAKER_00]: motherfucker.

[00:17:36] [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?

[00:17:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't do that.

[00:17:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Especially if I'm here

[00:17:41] [SPEAKER_00]: with you.

[00:17:43] [SPEAKER_00]: If I want to get you out of this situation

[00:17:47] [SPEAKER_00]: no matter what the

[00:17:48] [SPEAKER_00]: situation is. But don't make

[00:17:50] [SPEAKER_00]: me feel like I gotta leave

[00:17:52] [SPEAKER_00]: for you to handle this shit on your own

[00:17:54] [SPEAKER_00]: so you can't blame me.

[00:17:57] [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?

[00:17:58] [SPEAKER_00]: You know how like say we lose

[00:18:00] [SPEAKER_00]: something right?

[00:18:01] [SPEAKER_00]: And we all looking for it.

[00:18:04] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm getting frustrated

[00:18:06] [SPEAKER_00]: with y'all but it's like yo I ain't lose

[00:18:07] [SPEAKER_00]: this shit. You know what? I'm gonna walk away and let you find

[00:18:10] [SPEAKER_00]: this shit on your own.

[00:18:11] [SPEAKER_02]: That takes us back to you guys was ahead for the episode.

[00:18:13] [SPEAKER_02]: For the episode break.

[00:18:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Definitely

[00:18:18] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm glad my niggas was ahead for that one.

[00:18:19] [SPEAKER_00]: We did that episode earlier today

[00:18:22] [SPEAKER_00]: called

[00:18:23] [SPEAKER_00]: I Need a Break. But it wasn't

[00:18:26] [SPEAKER_00]: us initiating the break

[00:18:28] [SPEAKER_00]: right? It was us trying

[00:18:30] [SPEAKER_00]: to figure out can a break be

[00:18:32] [SPEAKER_00]: successful? Is there such thing

[00:18:34] [SPEAKER_00]: as a successful break?

[00:18:36] [SPEAKER_04]: A break as in? Like a break in a relationship.

[00:18:38] [SPEAKER_02]: I need a break like I need some space

[00:18:40] [SPEAKER_00]: like a break. Yeah so we kind

[00:18:42] [SPEAKER_00]: of delved into the

[00:18:44] [SPEAKER_00]: what could possibly

[00:18:46] [SPEAKER_00]: look like?

[00:18:48] [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah that was what that was about.

[00:18:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Check that episode out guys if you haven't

[00:18:52] [SPEAKER_00]: seen it but yeah it's kind of like

[00:18:55] [SPEAKER_00]: let's do some

[00:18:56] [SPEAKER_00]: real assessment

[00:18:58] [SPEAKER_00]: on what you really

[00:19:00] [SPEAKER_00]: mad at.

[00:19:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Because you not gonna make

[00:19:04] [SPEAKER_00]: this about me. That means that person

[00:19:06] [SPEAKER_02]: playing the victim there.

[00:19:08] [SPEAKER_00]: You said what?

[00:19:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Accountability. Yeah.

[00:19:12] [SPEAKER_00]: But that's a big word

[00:19:14] [SPEAKER_00]: in all types of relationships.

[00:19:16] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not even talking about romantic.

[00:19:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Because a punch

[00:19:20] [SPEAKER_00]: it back don't even gotta be like

[00:19:22] [SPEAKER_00]: you know?

[00:19:25] [SPEAKER_00]: A punch it back don't even gotta

[00:19:26] [SPEAKER_00]: be romantic in a sense.

[00:19:30] [SPEAKER_00]: You know?

[00:19:30] [SPEAKER_00]: Kwani always talks about

[00:19:32] [SPEAKER_00]: you know

[00:19:34] [SPEAKER_00]: you ever run into a person who always got bad

[00:19:36] [SPEAKER_00]: days. Right?

[00:19:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Dealing with them and you hearing

[00:19:40] [SPEAKER_00]: they bad day every day.

[00:19:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Damn man.

[00:19:43] [SPEAKER_00]: You got bad luck.

[00:19:45] [SPEAKER_00]: You kind of feel the impact of

[00:19:47] [SPEAKER_00]: their bad days. You got

[00:19:49] [SPEAKER_00]: you can't even be happy about your good

[00:19:51] [SPEAKER_02]: day. The day you all in they can think about the bad one is

[00:19:53] [SPEAKER_02]: tough.

[00:19:55] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm happy to be here brother.

[00:19:57] [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?

[00:20:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Or

[00:20:01] [SPEAKER_00]: what they represent.

[00:20:04] [SPEAKER_00]: They may not even have a bad day

[00:20:05] [SPEAKER_00]: but you see them coming and you

[00:20:07] [SPEAKER_00]: feel their presence like oh no bad day

[00:20:09] [SPEAKER_00]: coming.

[00:20:11] [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?

[00:20:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[00:20:15] [SPEAKER_00]: So there's certain

[00:20:17] [SPEAKER_00]: situations where I could

[00:20:20] [SPEAKER_00]: I so on me.

[00:20:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Where I've

[00:20:24] [SPEAKER_00]: been in where I felt like I became the punch

[00:20:25] [SPEAKER_00]: it back and here's to

[00:20:27] [SPEAKER_00]: like the work thing is

[00:20:29] [SPEAKER_00]: an interesting thing.

[00:20:33] [SPEAKER_00]: Where they're at

[00:20:33] [SPEAKER_00]: currently in their lives.

[00:20:36] [SPEAKER_00]: They can have it all.

[00:20:37] [SPEAKER_00]: And then they could have lost it all.

[00:20:40] [SPEAKER_00]: And because they lost it all

[00:20:42] [SPEAKER_00]: you know

[00:20:43] [SPEAKER_00]: the frustration of not

[00:20:45] [SPEAKER_00]: being where they want they where they should

[00:20:47] [SPEAKER_00]: be where they were before or where they were before

[00:20:49] [SPEAKER_00]: they now lashing out on you.

[00:20:51] [SPEAKER_00]: You know because you can't how

[00:20:53] [SPEAKER_00]: could some person lash out on life?

[00:20:56] [SPEAKER_00]: You can't physically

[00:20:57] [SPEAKER_00]: lash life. But

[00:20:59] [SPEAKER_00]: the person you doing life with is who you

[00:21:01] [SPEAKER_00]: choose.

[00:21:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Like even even like G

[00:21:05] [SPEAKER_00]: I know you know your situation is kind

[00:21:08] [SPEAKER_00]: of like damn I don't want to take

[00:21:09] [SPEAKER_00]: that out on nobody. So I kind of

[00:21:11] [SPEAKER_00]: keep to myself. But even then

[00:21:14] [SPEAKER_00]: the personal taking person

[00:21:15] [SPEAKER_02]: personal. Oh you're isolating yourself

[00:21:18] [SPEAKER_02]: you don't fuck with me no more.

[00:21:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah I'm only doing that because

[00:21:22] [SPEAKER_00]: to be honest with you

[00:21:23] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so frustrated with life.

[00:21:26] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't want to take it out on you.

[00:21:27] [SPEAKER_02]: But at the same time you have to be verbal about that.

[00:21:30] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. That all comes

[00:21:31] [SPEAKER_00]: with maturity and accountability. Not even

[00:21:34] [SPEAKER_00]: that like. You have to hold yourself.

[00:21:36] [SPEAKER_00]: See the thing about maturity

[00:21:38] [SPEAKER_00]: also is like the

[00:21:39] [SPEAKER_00]: self realization of shit. Like

[00:21:41] [SPEAKER_00]: you realize a lot about yourself

[00:21:44] [SPEAKER_00]: and then you can

[00:21:46] [SPEAKER_00]: then speak to it.

[00:21:48] [SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot of things that people do

[00:21:49] [SPEAKER_00]: that they don't know why

[00:21:51] [SPEAKER_00]: they're doing it or they or they

[00:21:54] [SPEAKER_00]: can't really pinpoint it. They

[00:21:55] [SPEAKER_00]: don't have the words to

[00:21:58] [SPEAKER_00]: equal the emotion.

[00:22:00] [SPEAKER_00]: So all

[00:22:02] [SPEAKER_00]: they do is just lash out or they're

[00:22:04] [SPEAKER_00]: misusing words. Like that's not

[00:22:06] [SPEAKER_00]: the right word that you should be using. That's not

[00:22:08] [SPEAKER_00]: how you feel. Like there's this

[00:22:11] [SPEAKER_00]: there was

[00:22:12] [SPEAKER_00]: there was a woman I was dating

[00:22:14] [SPEAKER_00]: in X amount. She she she kind

[00:22:16] [SPEAKER_00]: of always used like a particular word

[00:22:19] [SPEAKER_00]: and let's say

[00:22:20] [SPEAKER_00]: the word was sad

[00:22:21] [SPEAKER_00]: and there is something called like an emotional

[00:22:24] [SPEAKER_00]: chart. And I sent her the chart

[00:22:26] [SPEAKER_00]: and I'm like look at this chart

[00:22:27] [SPEAKER_00]: and tell me how you feel

[00:22:29] [SPEAKER_00]: because you always say sad.

[00:22:32] [SPEAKER_00]: No. Drain? And then

[00:22:34] [SPEAKER_00]: she was able to look at the chart

[00:22:35] [SPEAKER_00]: and then she was able to speak to the words

[00:22:38] [SPEAKER_00]: that she was feeling.

[00:22:39] [SPEAKER_00]: And then we were really able to

[00:22:42] [SPEAKER_00]: dig deep in. Dig deep.

[00:22:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. In a lot of words whatever it was.

[00:22:46] [SPEAKER_00]: There you go. So sometimes

[00:22:48] [SPEAKER_00]: you know you the simplest

[00:22:50] [SPEAKER_00]: word of like sad or happy

[00:22:51] [SPEAKER_00]: or this that and a third. Nah

[00:22:53] [SPEAKER_00]: that's not what we talking about.

[00:22:56] [SPEAKER_00]: What do you really feel

[00:22:59] [SPEAKER_00]: that and then we could then

[00:23:00] [SPEAKER_00]: speak to that. You have to be able to speak

[00:23:02] [SPEAKER_00]: to how you feel.

[00:23:04] [SPEAKER_00]: You do that then

[00:23:06] [SPEAKER_00]: both of us is gonna feel less like a

[00:23:08] [SPEAKER_00]: punchy bag. You gonna be able to find the right words

[00:23:11] [SPEAKER_00]: you know what I'm saying?

[00:23:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Like you can't just jab jab jab jab jab jab.

[00:23:14] [SPEAKER_00]: All you know is a jab. No hook.

[00:23:18] [SPEAKER_00]: No no counter

[00:23:18] [SPEAKER_02]: no nothing. It's crazy what I was talking

[00:23:20] [SPEAKER_02]: about third piece the other day. Like I

[00:23:22] [SPEAKER_02]: I expressed how I was feeling. I said something

[00:23:24] [SPEAKER_02]: like that too. I was like one day I was like

[00:23:26] [SPEAKER_02]: sad. She was like tell me how you feel like what was it about?

[00:23:28] [SPEAKER_02]: I was like y'all just don't

[00:23:30] [SPEAKER_02]: know what's going on. I'm trying to

[00:23:31] [SPEAKER_02]: she's like yo you're not sad. You're just anxious as

[00:23:34] [SPEAKER_00]: fuck. There you go.

[00:23:36] [SPEAKER_00]: So look look look.

[00:23:37] [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm looking at the word

[00:23:40] [SPEAKER_00]: graphic right now right. So the

[00:23:42] [SPEAKER_00]: main word that people use

[00:23:44] [SPEAKER_00]: is like happy, surprised, bad

[00:23:46] [SPEAKER_00]: fearful, angry,

[00:23:48] [SPEAKER_00]: disgusted, sad right.

[00:23:50] [SPEAKER_00]: But within the word

[00:23:52] [SPEAKER_00]: sad other words you got

[00:23:54] [SPEAKER_00]: lonely, vulnerable, guilty,

[00:23:56] [SPEAKER_00]: depressed, hurt.

[00:23:58] [SPEAKER_00]: You could feel isolated, abandoned,

[00:24:00] [SPEAKER_00]: victimized, fragile, grief,

[00:24:02] [SPEAKER_00]: powerless, ashamed,

[00:24:04] [SPEAKER_00]: remorseful, empty, inferior,

[00:24:06] [SPEAKER_00]: disappointed, embarrassed.

[00:24:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Those are all different than sad. But people would just

[00:24:10] [SPEAKER_00]: say sad and mean a bunch of those

[00:24:12] [SPEAKER_00]: things. I can't help you with that if

[00:24:14] [SPEAKER_00]: you're just using the word sad. What are you sad about? I don't know.

[00:24:17] [SPEAKER_00]: You know but then

[00:24:18] [SPEAKER_00]: she was like one of the words

[00:24:20] [SPEAKER_00]: she used was abandoned.

[00:24:21] [SPEAKER_00]: Now we can talk.

[00:24:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Now I know

[00:24:25] [SPEAKER_00]: you telling me you sad but you really meant

[00:24:27] [SPEAKER_00]: abandoned. Okay why do

[00:24:29] [SPEAKER_00]: you feel abandoned?

[00:24:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Does this mean I need to show

[00:24:33] [SPEAKER_00]: up more? Or if it's not about

[00:24:35] [SPEAKER_00]: me who abandoned you?

[00:24:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Now we can really. How do we work through this?

[00:24:39] [SPEAKER_00]: There you go. So I feel like sometimes people

[00:24:41] [SPEAKER_00]: don't use the right words.

[00:24:44] [SPEAKER_00]: I know we say on this

[00:24:45] [SPEAKER_00]: pod all the time, words

[00:24:47] [SPEAKER_00]: mean things and I take things in the literal

[00:24:49] [SPEAKER_00]: sense because of that. Words mean

[00:24:51] [SPEAKER_00]: things. Don't tell me you sad and you feel

[00:24:53] [SPEAKER_00]: isolated.

[00:24:55] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to think isolated when

[00:24:57] [SPEAKER_00]: you say sad.

[00:24:59] [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying? So if you feel isolated, do

[00:25:01] [SPEAKER_00]: you want people around or do you want

[00:25:03] [SPEAKER_00]: to stay isolated? You know one

[00:25:05] [SPEAKER_00]: of the words here

[00:25:07] [SPEAKER_00]: was within sad was

[00:25:09] [SPEAKER_00]: grief.

[00:25:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Does that make a person like not

[00:25:13] [SPEAKER_02]: emotionally intelligent or like?

[00:25:16] [SPEAKER_00]: In the literal sense

[00:25:18] [SPEAKER_06]: yes. Yes.

[00:25:20] [SPEAKER_00]: That is a part of emotional

[00:25:22] [SPEAKER_00]: intelligence using the right words

[00:25:23] [SPEAKER_00]: to assess your feelings.

[00:25:26] [SPEAKER_00]: But people don't really practice that.

[00:25:28] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm 33.

[00:25:30] [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?

[00:25:31] [SPEAKER_00]: I have to think about it.

[00:25:35] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm 33.

[00:25:36] [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying? My goal

[00:25:37] [SPEAKER_00]: in life is to try to put this on game

[00:25:40] [SPEAKER_00]: to a 23 year old

[00:25:42] [SPEAKER_00]: or a 28 year

[00:25:44] [SPEAKER_00]: old. You know what I'm saying? Oh

[00:25:45] [SPEAKER_00]: fuck it a 13 year old. When I have

[00:25:48] [SPEAKER_00]: children this chart is going to be on

[00:25:50] [SPEAKER_00]: the wall. So they

[00:25:52] [SPEAKER_00]: are going to

[00:25:53] [SPEAKER_00]: really know how to use their words.

[00:25:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Like hey, how was school today?

[00:25:57] [SPEAKER_00]: School made me sad. Alright let's look at sad

[00:26:00] [SPEAKER_00]: and let's see what other

[00:26:02] [SPEAKER_00]: word you can fill on it.

[00:26:04] [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?

[00:26:06] [SPEAKER_00]: But one of the things is grief

[00:26:07] [SPEAKER_00]: right? People grieving

[00:26:09] [SPEAKER_00]: you know grieving is a tough thing.

[00:26:15] [SPEAKER_00]: And it doesn't have an expiration date.

[00:26:17] [SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like sometimes people

[00:26:19] [SPEAKER_00]: put an expiration date on grieving

[00:26:21] [SPEAKER_00]: or maybe they

[00:26:23] [SPEAKER_00]: or time right?

[00:26:26] [SPEAKER_00]: And that's just not how it works.

[00:26:28] [SPEAKER_00]: But

[00:26:29] [SPEAKER_00]: you know

[00:26:31] [SPEAKER_00]: how people learn how to cope

[00:26:33] [SPEAKER_00]: with death

[00:26:36] [SPEAKER_00]: you understand

[00:26:38] [SPEAKER_00]: that

[00:26:40] [SPEAKER_00]: it's not black and white.

[00:26:42] [SPEAKER_00]: And I deal with black and white

[00:26:44] [SPEAKER_00]: but that's the only thing that I

[00:26:46] [SPEAKER_00]: allow gray areas on.

[00:26:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Because you could be happy today

[00:26:50] [SPEAKER_02]: and that thought of a person

[00:26:52] [SPEAKER_00]: not even that the minute everybody

[00:26:53] [SPEAKER_00]: leaves here and you by yourself

[00:26:56] [SPEAKER_00]: that's when it hits you.

[00:26:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Isolation and grief at the same time.

[00:27:00] [SPEAKER_00]: And then if you

[00:27:02] [SPEAKER_00]: if people

[00:27:04] [SPEAKER_00]: take it out on you

[00:27:06] [SPEAKER_00]: you know what I'm saying? I can

[00:27:08] [SPEAKER_00]: understand that but at the same time

[00:27:10] [SPEAKER_00]: yeah grief

[00:27:11] [SPEAKER_00]: because I've been there for somebody

[00:27:13] [SPEAKER_00]: during their grieving stage

[00:27:15] [SPEAKER_00]: and it's not pretty.

[00:27:18] [SPEAKER_00]: It's not pretty you angry with life

[00:27:19] [SPEAKER_00]: and I get it you know what I'm saying?

[00:27:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Add the question why that starts kicking your

[00:27:23] [SPEAKER_02]: ass and then now you upset at it.

[00:27:26] [SPEAKER_00]: So you got

[00:27:27] [SPEAKER_00]: that you got

[00:27:28] [SPEAKER_00]: there are certain things people losing

[00:27:31] [SPEAKER_00]: their job you know.

[00:27:33] [SPEAKER_00]: That's grief still. Yeah that

[00:27:34] [SPEAKER_00]: this mark yeah but that's more

[00:27:38] [SPEAKER_00]: that's a financial

[00:27:40] [SPEAKER_02]: events.

[00:27:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Opposed to physical. Even speaking

[00:27:43] [SPEAKER_02]: about that like looking at that

[00:27:45] [SPEAKER_02]: seen a video a few days ago

[00:27:47] [SPEAKER_02]: or whatever the hell I saw it.

[00:27:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Tyrese like the grieving

[00:27:51] [SPEAKER_02]: he was like yeah I lost this I lost that lost

[00:27:53] [SPEAKER_02]: to my mom I lost my sisters I lost that

[00:27:55] [SPEAKER_02]: and I'm watching him break down I was like damn.

[00:27:58] [SPEAKER_00]: That and the divorce of his wife.

[00:28:01] [SPEAKER_00]: Now see

[00:28:01] [SPEAKER_00]: here's the interesting thing right? He

[00:28:04] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not sure if he's

[00:28:05] [SPEAKER_00]: still wet shorty but he had moved on.

[00:28:07] [SPEAKER_00]: And he got to be careful.

[00:28:10] [SPEAKER_02]: You can still see the pain

[00:28:11] [SPEAKER_02]: in his eyes like he's not

[00:28:13] [SPEAKER_02]: fully moved on yet like moving even

[00:28:15] [SPEAKER_02]: that moving on that

[00:28:17] [SPEAKER_02]: griefing like not being with that person

[00:28:19] [SPEAKER_02]: is moving on that's a whole different thing in itself.

[00:28:22] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna make this a little

[00:28:23] [SPEAKER_00]: bit more lighthearted. I notice

[00:28:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Joe's mic hands and move that all.

[00:28:30] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna make this a little

[00:28:31] [SPEAKER_00]: bit more lighthearted. I throw

[00:28:33] [SPEAKER_00]: a joke in there.

[00:28:37] [SPEAKER_00]: The girl you're dating her ex

[00:28:40] die.

[00:28:45] [SPEAKER_00]: How long you let her grieve for that?

[00:28:47] [SPEAKER_00]: What should be here?

[00:28:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Did I kill him? Bigger boy?

[00:28:52] [SPEAKER_02]: That's a Kanye shit right?

[00:28:53] [SPEAKER_02]: She said did I kill him.

[00:28:55] [SPEAKER_02]: That's a Kanye shit.

[00:28:57] [SPEAKER_04]: Grieving fiver bro. Really?

[00:28:59] [SPEAKER_04]: It's not something I need to see.

[00:29:01] [SPEAKER_04]: Really?

[00:29:03] [SPEAKER_04]: I mean even if I

[00:29:05] [SPEAKER_04]: said what I said.

[00:29:07] [SPEAKER_04]: I don't care. I don't need to see that.

[00:29:09] [SPEAKER_04]: Really? You? Grieving her ex?

[00:29:12] [SPEAKER_04]: In front of me? Why would I need

[00:29:13] [SPEAKER_04]: to see that? Why do I want to see that?

[00:29:16] [SPEAKER_04]: I ain't gonna throw that n***a

[00:29:17] [SPEAKER_04]: in the face. I don't know.

[00:29:19] [SPEAKER_04]: Why do I want to see that? I don't wanna see grief

[00:29:21] [SPEAKER_02]: on any level. Oh so you

[00:29:23] [SPEAKER_02]: miss him? No I ain't miss him.

[00:29:29] [SPEAKER_02]: What is it? Why does it bother you

[00:29:31] [SPEAKER_02]: though is the question? Why would it bother you?

[00:29:34] [SPEAKER_00]: This is somebody she loved

[00:29:35] [SPEAKER_00]: at one point. I get it.

[00:29:38] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm not saying

[00:29:39] [SPEAKER_04]: don't grieve. Just don't do it around you.

[00:29:45] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm a rock Kwan. On the ex.

[00:29:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Let me tell you something.

[00:29:49] [SPEAKER_04]: If it's an ex yeah but

[00:29:51] [SPEAKER_04]: I mean not your regular ex.

[00:29:53] [SPEAKER_02]: If you're friends for a little while I'm gonna

[00:29:55] [SPEAKER_02]: never see you as a human. I've never seen you as a human

[00:29:57] [SPEAKER_02]: until today.

[00:29:58] [SPEAKER_02]: That n***a said

[00:29:59] [SPEAKER_02]: That n***a said. What the f*** are you talking

[00:30:02] [SPEAKER_02]: about n***a?

[00:30:03] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm good of.

[00:30:05] [SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying? LA next time make sure you bring that

[00:30:08] [SPEAKER_02]: red one again. Kwan being himself.

[00:30:10] [SPEAKER_04]: I like that. So y'all that's valid

[00:30:11] [SPEAKER_04]: with y'all.

[00:30:14] [SPEAKER_04]: The thing about G is

[00:30:15] [SPEAKER_02]: he's very strong. It sounds crazy.

[00:30:17] [SPEAKER_02]: I'll console her but it's like

[00:30:19] [SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna fight. Stop making me sound crazy.

[00:30:22] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a soul dog.

[00:30:23] [SPEAKER_04]: So you don't wanna do it but you'll do

[00:30:26] [SPEAKER_04]: it. I'm gonna do it because that's my lady.

[00:30:27] [SPEAKER_04]: Of course but you don't want

[00:30:30] [SPEAKER_04]: that though.

[00:30:32] [SPEAKER_04]: First of all y'all made me sound

[00:30:34] [SPEAKER_04]: crazy.

[00:30:37] [SPEAKER_00]: First and foremost

[00:30:41] [SPEAKER_00]: right. Don't

[00:30:42] [SPEAKER_00]: mind that I use you as an ex.

[00:30:44] [SPEAKER_00]: God forbid you pass away.

[00:30:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Before your time.

[00:30:51] [SPEAKER_00]: And I would fully expect

[00:30:53] if

[00:30:54] [SPEAKER_00]: was in a situation

[00:30:56] [SPEAKER_00]: she would be at your funeral

[00:30:58] [SPEAKER_00]: front row.

[00:31:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Her n***a gotta eat that.

[00:31:04] [SPEAKER_00]: That's your funeral.

[00:31:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Her funeral is crazy bro.

[00:31:08] [SPEAKER_00]: She would be front row with his mom.

[00:31:11] [SPEAKER_04]: What?

[00:31:12] [SPEAKER_04]: I think.

[00:31:14] [SPEAKER_04]: I do know who you're talking about.

[00:31:18] [SPEAKER_02]: not even that.

[00:31:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Y'all n****s ain't allowed to have this.

[00:31:22] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what he's talking about.

[00:31:23] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm talking about the

[00:31:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Are we talking about soon

[00:31:27] [SPEAKER_00]: or in like five years

[00:31:29] [SPEAKER_00]: God forbid.

[00:31:32] [SPEAKER_00]: It's a time thing.

[00:31:34] [SPEAKER_00]: What if she

[00:31:35] [SPEAKER_04]: really rolled the f*** on bro?

[00:31:38] [SPEAKER_04]: Right. I'm talking about

[00:31:39] [SPEAKER_04]: in general.

[00:31:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Front row with

[00:31:44] [SPEAKER_00]: the family.

[00:31:46] [SPEAKER_00]: Alright so if it happened like

[00:31:48] [SPEAKER_00]: let's say

[00:31:50] [SPEAKER_00]: not go over right.

[00:31:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Not go over.

[00:31:54] [SPEAKER_02]: And I knew you was going to do that.

[00:31:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Go ahead man.

[00:31:59] [SPEAKER_00]: If it was next year she would be front row.

[00:32:02] [SPEAKER_00]: For sure. Front row.

[00:32:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Two years? Front row.

[00:32:06] [SPEAKER_04]: Possibly.

[00:32:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe five years is where I start.

[00:32:10] [SPEAKER_00]: New n***a? Five years?

[00:32:11] [SPEAKER_00]: That's where I'd be like damn you can't be front row.

[00:32:14] [SPEAKER_00]: No no no.

[00:32:16] [SPEAKER_00]: New n***a?

[00:32:17] [SPEAKER_00]: You got a year.

[00:32:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Then to see

[00:32:19] [SPEAKER_00]: get further back.

[00:32:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh he trying.

[00:32:23] [SPEAKER_02]: N***s ain't even watching

[00:32:25] [SPEAKER_02]: on zoom.

[00:32:28] [SPEAKER_02]: They ain't watching on zoom and cry.

[00:32:29] [SPEAKER_02]: This is f***ing out of here.

[00:32:31] [SPEAKER_04]: Ya'll can get that off?

[00:32:34] [SPEAKER_04]: Ya'll can go to your ex's funeral?

[00:32:36] [SPEAKER_04]: Ya'll can get that off? Not your man's.

[00:32:39] [SPEAKER_04]: Yo what the f***?

[00:32:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Can ya'll get that off?

[00:32:42] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm wondering though.

[00:32:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Probably two.

[00:32:47] [SPEAKER_04]: Ain't valid.

[00:32:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Front row?

[00:32:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Front row for

[00:32:52] [SPEAKER_00]: my first one?

[00:32:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Probably not but probably second row.

[00:32:55] [SPEAKER_04]: How are you explaining that?

[00:32:57] [SPEAKER_00]: To my girl?

[00:32:58] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to pay my respects to the love of my life.

[00:33:01] [SPEAKER_04]: I do love the love of my life.

[00:33:03] [SPEAKER_04]: I have some respect.

[00:33:06] [SPEAKER_04]: Say something.

[00:33:08] [SPEAKER_04]: Say something G.

[00:33:10] [SPEAKER_04]: Say something G.

[00:33:11] [SPEAKER_04]: Say something.

[00:33:12] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm not supposed to love my life.

[00:33:14] [SPEAKER_04]: Gaffer did.

[00:33:19] [SPEAKER_04]: How do you even get that off?

[00:33:22] [SPEAKER_00]: And how do you

[00:33:24] [SPEAKER_00]: receive that?

[00:33:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Imagine me

[00:33:28] [SPEAKER_02]: taking care of the minute.

[00:33:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Gaffer B, imagine me going to

[00:33:31] [SPEAKER_02]: f***ing artist.

[00:33:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Gaffer B is not going to look.

[00:33:36] [SPEAKER_02]: How would that play out?

[00:33:39] [SPEAKER_02]: It's insane.

[00:33:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Woo!

[00:33:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Are we talking about going

[00:33:43] [SPEAKER_00]: or are we talking about front row?

[00:33:46] [SPEAKER_04]: We talking about what you said.

[00:33:47] [SPEAKER_04]: Front row with the parents.

[00:33:50] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know. I don't think that would be front row.

[00:33:52] [SPEAKER_04]: She might

[00:33:53] [SPEAKER_04]: go say a word.

[00:33:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I would still go.

[00:33:57] [SPEAKER_00]: So we're not talking about going to the funeral.

[00:33:59] [SPEAKER_00]: We're talking about where we sit within this year.

[00:34:01] [SPEAKER_04]: So at bare minimum, you're going to go.

[00:34:04] [SPEAKER_04]: You can get that off.

[00:34:06] [SPEAKER_04]: Hold on.

[00:34:06] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm certainly going to her ex and she from her home.

[00:34:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Hold on.

[00:34:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Out of all the women that I've

[00:34:13] [SPEAKER_00]: loved in my life.

[00:34:14] [SPEAKER_02]: This tangent is crazy.

[00:34:16] [SPEAKER_02]: This shit got so...

[00:34:19] [SPEAKER_00]: I do a reggie

[00:34:21] [SPEAKER_00]: and you want me quiet?

[00:34:22] [SPEAKER_02]: That's so fun.

[00:34:32] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to four out of the five.

[00:34:34] [SPEAKER_00]: As f***ed up as it sounds, one of them go.

[00:34:37] [SPEAKER_00]: I still a beast though.

[00:34:39] [SPEAKER_00]: That's a wild part, but I know the f***ing beat of it all.

[00:34:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Facts.

[00:34:42] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm still a beast.

[00:34:45] [SPEAKER_04]: One of the ones you're going to is the first one.

[00:34:47] [SPEAKER_04]: Is the one of yours.

[00:34:48] [SPEAKER_00]: That one I might be second row.

[00:34:50] [SPEAKER_04]: If not one.

[00:34:51] [SPEAKER_04]: That was years ago.

[00:34:54] [SPEAKER_00]: F*** no.

[00:34:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Elizabeth.

[00:34:58] [SPEAKER_00]: And this was years ago.

[00:35:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Elizabeth was when I was 17.

[00:35:03] [SPEAKER_04]: So you telling me

[00:35:04] [SPEAKER_04]: you about to get that off at 33?

[00:35:07] [SPEAKER_04]: Or at 30 something?

[00:35:10] [SPEAKER_04]: She has to understand that?

[00:35:12] [SPEAKER_02]: How is it her and not her though?

[00:35:13] [SPEAKER_04]: We very understanding.

[00:35:16] [SPEAKER_04]: I don't even know Elizabeth, but I know who that is.

[00:35:24] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think I would go to hers.

[00:35:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Nah, I would go.

[00:35:27] [SPEAKER_02]: I would say he's cool with the posse.

[00:35:29] [SPEAKER_00]: I would go. I would go. I would go back row.

[00:35:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Back row. Support.

[00:35:33] [SPEAKER_00]: I'd probably sit in the back row.

[00:35:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Like, oh, LA came, signed a book.

[00:35:37] [SPEAKER_02]: Niggas said, show face. You want a card?

[00:35:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, facts. You know what I'm saying?

[00:35:41] [SPEAKER_02]: The only way I go to that one

[00:35:42] [SPEAKER_00]: that I asked to LaVisa.

[00:35:44] [SPEAKER_02]: I came in and see my office.

[00:35:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Facts.

[00:35:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Take a big Fendi.

[00:35:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Fendi.

[00:35:53] [SPEAKER_00]: That's a fact.

[00:35:56] [SPEAKER_04]: That was crazy. My first question.

[00:35:58] [SPEAKER_04]: My first question.

[00:36:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Bro, what the f***?

[00:36:03] [SPEAKER_04]: Bro, my first question. How did you even get the invite?

[00:36:06] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a funeral.

[00:36:06] [SPEAKER_04]: The f***?

[00:36:07] [SPEAKER_04]: They got an RVP there?

[00:36:11] [SPEAKER_04]: What?

[00:36:13] [SPEAKER_04]: Niggas is, you can't just

[00:36:14] [SPEAKER_04]: They're not giving funeral invites to random people.

[00:36:17] [SPEAKER_04]: Bro, they're giving a funeral invite.

[00:36:19] [SPEAKER_05]: I got a funeral invite.

[00:36:20] [SPEAKER_04]: So nobody invites you and you're going to take it upon yourself to go?

[00:36:23] [SPEAKER_04]: It's a funeral.

[00:36:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Church is a public place.

[00:36:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Bro, it's not an event break, bro. Pull up, bro.

[00:36:29] [SPEAKER_04]: Niggas got girls.

[00:36:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Niggas said, I gotta get a resi.

[00:36:33] [SPEAKER_02]: It's tough.

[00:36:33] [SPEAKER_02]: What the f***?

[00:36:35] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm in here with some good guys, bro.

[00:36:38] [SPEAKER_04]: This is crazy, nigga.

[00:36:40] [SPEAKER_04]: What?

[00:36:41] [SPEAKER_04]: Niggas got an invite?

[00:36:42] [SPEAKER_04]: I've never been invited.

[00:36:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Niggas said you're all funerals this time.

[00:36:49] [SPEAKER_02]: I bet.

[00:36:49] [SPEAKER_00]: You don't put any credence to the term.

[00:36:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Hold on.

[00:36:53] [SPEAKER_00]: You don't put any credence to the term.

[00:36:56] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to pay my respects.

[00:36:59] [SPEAKER_04]: No.

[00:36:59] [SPEAKER_00]: Wow.

[00:37:00] [SPEAKER_04]: Go to the grave.

[00:37:03] [SPEAKER_00]: That's even worse.

[00:37:04] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to sit there and cry and hop on the grave like that.

[00:37:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Tell me what you're looking at.

[00:37:08] [SPEAKER_00]: What are you doing?

[00:37:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Nah, you telling me

[00:37:12] [SPEAKER_00]: like, yo, your ex

[00:37:14] [SPEAKER_00]: said, you know,

[00:37:16] [SPEAKER_00]: I love you.

[00:37:17] [SPEAKER_00]: You are who I'm with. Me going there

[00:37:20] [SPEAKER_00]: does not change

[00:37:22] [SPEAKER_00]: what you and I have.

[00:37:24] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just going to pay the respects

[00:37:26] [SPEAKER_00]: of somebody who I really care about.

[00:37:29] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[00:37:30] [SPEAKER_00]: We're not talking about front row.

[00:37:31] [SPEAKER_00]: We're not just talking about being in that tenet.

[00:37:35] [SPEAKER_04]: I mean,

[00:37:36] [SPEAKER_04]: listen, I'm not going to be

[00:37:37] [SPEAKER_04]: happy about it, but

[00:37:40] [SPEAKER_04]: people are their own people.

[00:37:42] [SPEAKER_04]: They're going to do whatever they want.

[00:37:43] [SPEAKER_04]: I would not be happy about it.

[00:37:44] [SPEAKER_02]: I feel like I wouldn't take it personally. I respect it.

[00:37:46] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't want to see you front rowing.

[00:37:49] [SPEAKER_02]: If I'm watching this on Zoom, I don't want to see you crying on the floor.

[00:37:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Now we got an issue.

[00:37:53] [SPEAKER_00]: What if they ask you to give a speech?

[00:37:55] [SPEAKER_04]: Speech? Bugging.

[00:37:56] [SPEAKER_04]: See, you bugging. Come on now. You bugging.

[00:37:59] [SPEAKER_04]: What you even doing there? You on a stage?

[00:38:02] [SPEAKER_04]: You bugging.

[00:38:02] [SPEAKER_04]: We got something to say.

[00:38:04] [SPEAKER_04]: What you had to say so bad.

[00:38:08] [SPEAKER_04]: Nah.

[00:38:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Where did she co-wrote the eulogy?

[00:38:11] [SPEAKER_04]: See? Whoa.

[00:38:14] [SPEAKER_04]: It's over with, bro.

[00:38:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Crazy. You get home, right?

[00:38:17] [SPEAKER_02]: You wonder why I got to add to it.

[00:38:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Now you're a real punchy man.

[00:38:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, they think you want to be Michelle Obama.

[00:38:22] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to be speechless.

[00:38:24] [SPEAKER_02]: You think you want to talk?

[00:38:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Fuck out of here, bro.

[00:38:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Now niggas writing dissertations and all this other shit.

[00:38:35] [SPEAKER_04]: Get the fuck out of my face, bro.

[00:38:36] [SPEAKER_04]: I want to see how y'all get that off.

[00:38:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Well, hopefully.

[00:38:41] [SPEAKER_00]: That was a wild tangent.

[00:38:44] [SPEAKER_00]: I need a job to talk.

[00:38:45] [SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying? L.A. is going on for a minute.

[00:38:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Alright. So boom.

[00:38:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Why other people could use you as a punch bag, right?

[00:38:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Underline the causes.

[00:38:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Discuss psychological reasons why people

[00:38:58] [SPEAKER_00]: displace their anger onto others.

[00:39:00] [SPEAKER_00]: We talked about that.

[00:39:01] [SPEAKER_00]: Explore how stress, unresolved issues, and lack of healing coping mechanisms contribute to this behavior.

[00:39:09] [SPEAKER_00]: We kind of talked about that as well.

[00:39:12] [SPEAKER_00]: We gave insight. We did that.

[00:39:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Us protecting ourselves.

[00:39:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Right?

[00:39:20] [SPEAKER_00]: And that's establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries.

[00:39:25] [SPEAKER_00]: And how to communicate your limits.

[00:39:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Now usually we have partners, we don't give them limits.

[00:39:30] [SPEAKER_00]: But with therapy...

[00:39:33] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to recover.

[00:39:35] [SPEAKER_00]: That was one of our favorite episodes.

[00:39:38] [SPEAKER_00]: I think it's okay to give your partner a limit.

[00:39:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I ain't going to front.

[00:39:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Like we really treat our personal relationships

[00:39:47] [SPEAKER_00]: or our significant others like a black card.

[00:39:49] [SPEAKER_00]: There's no limit.

[00:39:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Nah, you got to limit.

[00:39:51] [SPEAKER_02]: I ain't going to front. Not today. Not right now though.

[00:39:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Not even that. I just don't like the way you're talking to me.

[00:39:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Babe this is not a reflection of who you are right now.

[00:40:02] [SPEAKER_00]: That's a limit. Like stop.

[00:40:05] [SPEAKER_00]: That's a great way to say it though.

[00:40:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Finally.

[00:40:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Finally I feel like...

[00:40:10] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to go for a not shaky sound that's fucking insane.

[00:40:14] [SPEAKER_02]: Niggas see you embarrass me.

[00:40:18] [SPEAKER_02]: I literally watched that clip on the Regalite.

[00:40:20] [SPEAKER_02]: I was like, what?

[00:40:22] [SPEAKER_02]: I was like, bro I'm going to front.

[00:40:24] [SPEAKER_02]: They be giving us a box that gets fucking rooted shit.

[00:40:30] [SPEAKER_02]: This nigga's an ass.

[00:40:32] [SPEAKER_00]: That episode had nothing to do with me.

[00:40:34] [SPEAKER_00]: I hate that episode now.

[00:40:37] [SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, giving somebody a limit.

[00:40:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Like hey, you're doing too much.

[00:40:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Men can have consent too.

[00:40:44] [SPEAKER_00]: Stop you ODing.

[00:40:47] [SPEAKER_00]: I understand you upset.

[00:40:49] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not your opponent.

[00:40:53] [SPEAKER_00]: We don't have beef.

[00:40:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Matter of fact this beef is mad one sided.

[00:40:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Like I love you gang.

[00:41:00] [SPEAKER_05]: You're funny.

[00:41:02] [SPEAKER_00]: I ain't even doing nothing to you.

[00:41:05] [SPEAKER_00]: Yo, give your partner limits.

[00:41:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Like I've been letting you...

[00:41:09] [SPEAKER_00]: And then you let somebody get away with something for too long.

[00:41:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Because you feel your girl.

[00:41:17] [SPEAKER_00]: You're trying to be delicate.

[00:41:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes you don't...

[00:41:21] [SPEAKER_00]: What you over there giving me bro?

[00:41:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes I forget.

[00:41:25] [SPEAKER_04]: It's a slippery slope.

[00:41:26] [SPEAKER_00]: But I do think it's healthier for yourself.

[00:41:32] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm a proponent of teaching people how to love you.

[00:41:35] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not one of those...

[00:41:37] [SPEAKER_00]: You don't know how to love me?

[00:41:38] [SPEAKER_00]: No, I will write it out for you.

[00:41:40] [SPEAKER_00]: Teach me how to love you.

[00:41:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, flat out. Good note.

[00:41:44] [SPEAKER_00]: I tried.

[00:41:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for hitting.

[00:41:50] [SPEAKER_04]: You hit the shit out of his hand.

[00:41:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Niggas hit your wrist actually.

[00:41:54] [SPEAKER_02]: My niggas smacked my dick.

[00:41:55] [SPEAKER_02]: My callus is red bro.

[00:41:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Teach you how to love me.

[00:42:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:42:01] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm really on point with like...

[00:42:05] [SPEAKER_00]: Yo, tell somebody how to love you.

[00:42:07] [SPEAKER_00]: I'll write it out for you.

[00:42:08] [SPEAKER_00]: This is how I want to be loved.

[00:42:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Anything out of these guidelines is not how I want to be loved.

[00:42:14] [SPEAKER_00]: It's plain and simple, right?

[00:42:15] [SPEAKER_00]: So when you are not doing that...

[00:42:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Hey!

[00:42:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Return to the tag.

[00:42:22] [SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, I think that's how you create a good boundary with you and your partner.

[00:42:27] [SPEAKER_00]: A limit.

[00:42:29] [SPEAKER_00]: My limit with you may go a little bit further than an average human on the street.

[00:42:35] [SPEAKER_00]: But you not gonna talk to me any type of way because you have a limit.

[00:42:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, my man. We're crossing that line.

[00:42:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Then you go.

[00:42:42] [SPEAKER_00]: There is a line.

[00:42:45] [SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like we go into relationships not giving people a line or at least telling them that line.

[00:42:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Or you know what? Because you my girl and I love you.

[00:42:53] [SPEAKER_00]: They think there's not a line.

[00:42:55] [SPEAKER_00]: But there is a line and they're crossing it and that's where we're wrong too by never telling them where the line is.

[00:42:59] [SPEAKER_02]: You gotta treat her like you're little...

[00:43:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Nah, see that's where we fucked up.

[00:43:03] [SPEAKER_02]: I think that's what that's the part about.

[00:43:04] [SPEAKER_02]: It was like, come on.

[00:43:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Nah, this is the line. Right here.

[00:43:09] [SPEAKER_00]: How do you do that?

[00:43:11] [SPEAKER_00]: You go away over here.

[00:43:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Remember, you could with the Superman...

[00:43:15] [SPEAKER_00]: I mean the...

[00:43:17] [SPEAKER_00]: What's that mean? When somebody hold a Superman by the cake?

[00:43:24] [SPEAKER_00]: You gotta pull they ass right back over that line, bro.

[00:43:28] [SPEAKER_00]: Like yeah.

[00:43:28] [SPEAKER_02]: What did you just say, Kwan? You gotta do what?

[00:43:30] [SPEAKER_04]: You gotta do it at the first sign of things.

[00:43:34] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, for sure. You gotta establish it.

[00:43:36] [SPEAKER_04]: It is a slippery slope. I don't know if you guys ever watched it.

[00:43:39] [SPEAKER_02]: You talking about my thing? You talking about dope?

[00:43:41] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I've got that ASAP.

[00:43:42] [SPEAKER_04]: ASAP, ASAP. I've never ever ever forgot it after he said that in that movie.

[00:43:48] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, slippery slope. Once you let it slide one time...

[00:43:50] [SPEAKER_00]: He's slipping all over the place.

[00:43:52] [SPEAKER_00]: He's slipping in jail on the next one.

[00:43:55] [SPEAKER_04]: Two separate things.

[00:43:56] [SPEAKER_04]: On scene and shit.

[00:43:59] [SPEAKER_04]: Shout out to Dayton.

[00:44:02] [SPEAKER_01]: Leave us out of that, please.

[00:44:04] [SPEAKER_04]: If you don't address it right then and there or right as it happened.

[00:44:09] [SPEAKER_04]: Or I guess in the first couple times.

[00:44:13] [SPEAKER_04]: Maybe the first time is like,

[00:44:16] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm going to let you go with that one.

[00:44:19] [SPEAKER_04]: But don't take a mile.

[00:44:21] [SPEAKER_04]: When niggas take a mile, you settle down, relax, you explain things.

[00:44:25] [SPEAKER_04]: And after that, they know.

[00:44:27] [SPEAKER_04]: Because my thing is I also agree with you.

[00:44:29] [SPEAKER_04]: I don't assume that everybody knows how to treat me.

[00:44:31] [SPEAKER_04]: How to do this and do that.

[00:44:33] [SPEAKER_04]: So have a clear cut thing to follow.

[00:44:37] [SPEAKER_04]: And that's why I said nitpicking is okay because it's your life.

[00:44:41] [SPEAKER_04]: You literally have a way that you like to do things.

[00:44:42] [SPEAKER_04]: You have a way that you want to do things.

[00:44:44] [SPEAKER_04]: You've been that way for 30 plus years for somebody to come in your life now and not do the things you want them to do.

[00:44:50] [SPEAKER_04]: Or not do that. Nah.

[00:44:52] [SPEAKER_04]: Hey.

[00:44:54] [SPEAKER_04]: Do that. Do this.

[00:44:57] [SPEAKER_04]: You're not doing this?

[00:44:59] [SPEAKER_04]: What you said? Refer to this?

[00:45:00] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, so that's why I'm a huge advocate for nitpicking.

[00:45:07] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm talking about Juan.

[00:45:08] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm an advocate for nitpicking.

[00:45:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so before we get out of here.

[00:45:16] [SPEAKER_00]: We already talked about confronting the behavior.

[00:45:20] [SPEAKER_00]: If nothing changes, when to walk away.

[00:45:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Recognizing when it's time to distance yourself or end a toxic relationship.

[00:45:29] [SPEAKER_00]: The importance of prioritizing your mental health and well-being.

[00:45:34] [SPEAKER_00]: There's no work being done. I'm out of here.

[00:45:36] [SPEAKER_00]: This is the part in life.

[00:45:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Being a punching bag, you know, you've known me for the longest.

[00:45:43] [SPEAKER_00]: You know I've always struggled with being the villain in somebody's story.

[00:45:45] [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like being the punching bag, being that person's punching bag is when I realized I'm okay with being the villain.

[00:45:54] [SPEAKER_00]: You didn't punch.

[00:45:55] [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying? Most people critique a Batman as like, yo he over abused.

[00:46:02] [SPEAKER_00]: You already caught the...

[00:46:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Why are you still snuffing the shit out of him?

[00:46:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I caught him!

[00:46:07] [SPEAKER_00]: I think it just bring me in.

[00:46:09] [SPEAKER_00]: The original Batman with the pals?

[00:46:12] [SPEAKER_00]: You bad pals bro! Look like a big Sean chain.

[00:46:16] [SPEAKER_00]: So it's like, yo no.

[00:46:18] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm okay with walking away because it's either one or two things.

[00:46:24] [SPEAKER_00]: I walk away and I'm the villain or I walk away and I still get punched up.

[00:46:29] [SPEAKER_00]: Either way, I'm not the good guy.

[00:46:31] [SPEAKER_02]: You're not winning at all.

[00:46:32] [SPEAKER_00]: No. So for me it was like, I have to prioritize my mental health.

[00:46:38] [SPEAKER_00]: I have to look at the situation and say, everything that's going on in my life.

[00:46:45] [SPEAKER_00]: What do I like? What do I don't like?

[00:46:48] [SPEAKER_00]: What's making me happy? What's not making me happy?

[00:46:52] [SPEAKER_00]: If that means, if being in your life means that I'm the person who takes your bright hook less hook.

[00:46:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Ain't it your jam?

[00:47:01] [SPEAKER_00]: No, I can't do it no more.

[00:47:03] [SPEAKER_00]: The bag is done up.

[00:47:05] [SPEAKER_00]: Ain't no more. Ain't nothing in this.

[00:47:08] [SPEAKER_00]: You know how hard it is to punch a sandbag till it bursts?

[00:47:13] [SPEAKER_00]: That's a difficult task.

[00:47:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Now is it harder to take doses or to walk away?

[00:47:20] [SPEAKER_00]: As crazy as it sounds to the person, they'll never understand.

[00:47:24] [SPEAKER_00]: But walking away was way harder than taking another hit from you.

[00:47:28] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm used to the hit. I'm not used to not being with you.

[00:47:33] [SPEAKER_00]: So they may look at it as, oh he quit on me or he don't fuck with me or you left me.

[00:47:40] [SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't take it no more.

[00:47:41] [SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't take it no more.

[00:47:44] [SPEAKER_00]: So it was actually harder walking away from you than it was taking another hit.

[00:47:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Because technically, as crazy as it is, people use Stockholm Syndrome for physical abuse.

[00:47:58] [SPEAKER_00]: But emotional abuse, emotional and verbal abuse, and staying with that person

[00:48:03] [SPEAKER_00]: because you think that's how they lash out and you think that's a part of the argument

[00:48:07] [SPEAKER_00]: or you hope that it'll change.

[00:48:10] [SPEAKER_00]: It takes seven times.

[00:48:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Us as men, we go through that shit too.

[00:48:14] [SPEAKER_00]: We got Stockholm Syndrome with a couple of people that we stayed it out

[00:48:19] [SPEAKER_00]: because fuck it, we chalked it up to love.

[00:48:21] [SPEAKER_00]: We chalked it up to the optimism of this shit getting better.

[00:48:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Until you take that last punch and be like, yeah, enough is enough.

[00:48:31] Yeah.

[00:48:32] [SPEAKER_01]: Damn, this was like a, yo, yeah, like a comments.

[00:48:37] [SPEAKER_01]: Are you fucking kidding me right now?

[00:48:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:48:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Look at Cole Junkwine back on their dance moves.

[00:48:44] [SPEAKER_02]: I think it's done here.

[00:48:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Yo, you already know what it is.

[00:48:46] [SPEAKER_02]: It's Don, the camera guy, Don Peasley.

[00:48:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Just Don everything.

[00:48:51] [SPEAKER_00]: You can follow me at StayFocusLA on Instagram and Twitter.

[00:48:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't forget to like, comment and subscribe.

[00:48:56] [SPEAKER_00]: All things What's a Good God coming out every Monday at 8 a.m.

[00:48:59] [SPEAKER_00]: on what'sagoodgod.com live on YouTube at, you know, I try to get it out at 12 o'clock in the morning

[00:49:06] [SPEAKER_00]: for the people for the night hours who, you know, I try to somebody at hit me.

[00:49:11] [SPEAKER_02]: You doing for night nurses?

[00:49:13] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, wow.

[00:49:14] [SPEAKER_04]: Yo.

[00:49:15] [SPEAKER_04]: He did the science.

[00:49:17] [SPEAKER_04]: He did the math.

[00:49:18] [SPEAKER_02]: That shit make a lot of sense.

[00:49:20] [SPEAKER_02]: 12 hour shifts.

[00:49:21] [SPEAKER_02]: We caught.

[00:49:21] [SPEAKER_02]: We caught.

[00:49:22] [SPEAKER_02]: We caught.

[00:49:25] [SPEAKER_00]: 314.

[00:49:27] [SPEAKER_02]: 413.

[00:49:28] [SPEAKER_00]: We caught.

[00:49:29] [SPEAKER_00]: He caught me red handed.

[00:49:33] Fuck.

[00:49:35] [SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, shout out to all my nurses.

[00:49:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Shout out to T.

[00:49:38] [SPEAKER_00]: T-Motel.

[00:49:42] [SPEAKER_05]: Clean that up.

[00:49:45] [SPEAKER_00]: Shout out to T, man.

[00:49:47] [SPEAKER_00]: We love you, T.

[00:49:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Hold on.

[00:49:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Shout out to JB too.

[00:49:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Shout out to the whole family.

[00:49:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Shout out to the whole family.

[00:49:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Some people that just graduated recently.

[00:49:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Shout out to y'all.

[00:50:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Do your thing.

[00:50:01] [SPEAKER_00]: Shout out to all the new nurses.

[00:50:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Gang.

[00:50:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Gang.

[00:50:05] [SPEAKER_02]: LA out here hunting.

[00:50:11] [SPEAKER_02]: I gotta go home.

[00:50:14] [SPEAKER_02]: That was nice.

[00:50:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and you can listen to us on all DSPs.

[00:50:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Sirius.

[00:50:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Apple.

[00:50:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Spotify.

[00:50:26] [SPEAKER_00]: SoundCloud.

[00:50:26] [SPEAKER_00]: SoundCloud.

[00:50:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Nah, I haven't uploaded SoundCloud in years, bro.

[00:50:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and of course you can watch us on YouTube.

[00:50:35] [SPEAKER_00]: I think I said that.

[00:50:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, let's get out of here.

[00:50:37] [SPEAKER_00]: We recorded four episodes today.

[00:50:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Fuck with us, man.

[00:50:40] [SPEAKER_02]: You know what it is.

[00:50:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Y'all stay cool.

[00:50:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Y'all be cool, man.

[00:50:44] [SPEAKER_00]: And as always, as always, and it will never change.

[00:50:49] [SPEAKER_00]: God is good.

[00:50:50] [SPEAKER_02]: All the time, baby.

[00:50:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, sir.