Episode 274: Provide {The Quanny Episode}

[00:00:01] I don't know. I don't think a nigga point up to God. Like, I don't know what that man just found. I guess the music recorded. Um, Hey, what's going on? Podcast lands. It's Don Peasley. Alongside of LaShawn. It's another beautiful day here at What's A Good Guy.

[00:00:16] Now I want to shout out to y'all for being here, tapping in with us. Um, letting LA tap on you. That is not true. We are not going to do that. We are not going to do that. LaShawn is not tapping on nothing. Nah, but we um...

[00:00:29] Or no one. Sorry. Excuse my grammar. We gonna start calling LA's room, dark up the place. It's just, it's still that out there. But um... My sheets are nice though. We not going to do another episode of Talk Watch with Sheets. 100, 100 pounds.

[00:00:41] I ordered these sheets that look like clouds. That shit so sexy, Roy. That shit so sexy. So the room is black, obviously. But they got these white clouds. It's, it's fluffed pillows. I got throw pillows, two throw pillows. Four big pillows. A big ass California King duvet.

[00:01:04] But it look like a cloud. You just got to leave it for like 24 hours. Let it fluff up. Oh my God, that shit so soft. I see why this is going to be foul. But I see why... Ooh. Let me see how... Yeah, go ahead. Hold on.

[00:01:18] I see why when I used to release, people used to, the women that I was with would say, don't get it on my sheets. Now I get it. I was flagrant. I put it in your sheets, your towel. Don't you dare do that. I won't.

[00:01:37] I think having my own bed, I don't even master me because I don't want that stuff to get on these like sheets. Oh my God, man. The sleep. Woo. This nigga just been on a rant about him. Nothing. Yo, shout out to the fellas in the building, man.

[00:01:54] Uh, Squillions. I think his name is Wyler. Squillions in the building. Mr. Sondia is in the building. Mr. No-Widow is in the building. I like that. I thought it was No-Best. But it's on brand though. I like it. Um, if you're wondering, I don't have sunscreen on today.

[00:02:10] So... I do. Wear your sunscreen, black man. Drink your water. Stay hydrated. It's a good thing I'm white, man. I ain't doing none of that right now, actually. Huh? You're not hydrated? I'm not hydrated. I don't got no sunscreen. My sunscreen is, my sun care is immaculate.

[00:02:25] Matter of fact, you see that black bag behind you, Quanie? Throw that over here. This is my skin care routine. You want to see it guys? That's what the ladies be having at the supplement. Yeah. But shout out to...

[00:02:35] You have women in your life, you will automatically upgrade everything. And right here is my six step skin care, maybe five, maybe seven skin care routine. So right now, right? This ain't got a toner? This not a ad. Right? This is a cleansing oil. Right?

[00:02:56] So I double cleanse, right? This is a cleansing oil. No matter of fact, I start with a moisturizing peeling gel and get all the dirt off, right? Then I do a cleansing oil, open up the pores and I do a cleansing foam. It gets in the pores, right?

[00:03:15] And I let that dry off a little bit. Then I use a sheet, but I don't bring that with me. Sometimes I put a nice sheet on. Then I put the toner. I told you you had a toner. Right? You gotta have a toner.

[00:03:28] Then I put the serum. That's the only thing that go on my face. Ay, yo. But a good serum, you know what I'm saying? Fellas don't let nobody sit on your face without a serum. Then lotion. And after that, sunscreen.

[00:03:49] And that's, you know, you gotta keep the face clean. And that's why you are top three. You gotta have a lot of time for that though. And that's why you top three. When I do the sheet, the night routine is even crazier because I got a four hour

[00:04:02] mask that I sleep on. Go on the top, go on the bottom. You gotta have good skin, man. I'm a well-groomed nigga, bro. I don't let my pubic hair grow too much. Underarm hair gone. Legs shaved. I like to be well-groomed. I like to smell good.

[00:04:20] I like to take my vitamins, drink my water so eventually I taste good to other people. You know? I'm in front. When you're doing this cut, I want you to zoom in on Kwani's face. That shit ain't changed in 95 minutes. So yeah, that's a part of my routine.

[00:04:37] That brings me pleasure. A good skincare routine. Now I use Korean skincare because they don't use a lot of chemicals that are approved in America. Aren't approved overseas. I got a Korean face mask. See? Yup. So I be fucking with the Korean skincare. Female is very simple.

[00:04:55] Yeah, no. It's simple. But I'm simpler than LA for sure. I don't have a seven step. I have a face wash, I have a face scrub. I always say garden water. I don't know about that one. I got a little salt.

[00:05:04] I got a little salt mixture in there. A little bit of garden water, man. Yeah. I keep it, I keep it. Um, I have Scotch Porter and I have a few other just random things. Shout out to Scotch Porter. Yeah, facts, facts.

[00:05:13] So yeah, I like, I like doing my skincare routine and my teeth. You know? It's extensive. Now in my bathroom, I have like the automatic mouthwash dispenser and the automatic hand soap. So I put my hand here. You know?

[00:05:31] You sure you're an idiot to go to the bathroom right quick? Huh? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta wash your hands before you eat pussy. You know, brush your teeth before you eat pussy. Yo bro, yo, let's go back to the rest. What's going on, man?

[00:05:43] Oh, we getting, this getting dirty here. Is it? Nah. It's getting hot. You getting hot in the drawers, brother. Now you got cleaning, got cleaning the drawers. You know? Good hygiene lady. Ladies stop dealing with these niggas that don't have a skincare routine. Apply pressure.

[00:06:01] Shout out to Nurse Bay. You see there's so many nurses that listen to the podcast. Nobody gonna know who I'm talking about. Let's see some shit like, oh, I thrust down and thrust you like that. I don't know what's going on, but um,

[00:06:22] Now this episode is brought to you by Kwani. Kwani bought up a, uh. So why's Kwani bringing us on there today? Kwani only, uh, provided for the women. I got it. I'm set, good. Kwani don't care about us no more. It's Sunday, New York women.

[00:06:40] That's a good thing. Yeah, I ain't gonna lie. Then that might be smart. Yeah. But I know. It's crazy. Certain shits happen at a certain time, but I ain't gonna say nothing, brother. It's all good. It's all good. He said it came at a certain time. Yeah.

[00:06:55] After the two hand saloon, we lost him. Gone. We still love you. We still love you. I don't know if he loves us, but you know, we still love you. Yeah, that's alright. My brothers got to get their jokes off. Sorry, man.

[00:07:05] But nah, Kwame put something in the group chat about, he asked us if we ever did an episode about Providing. And we've touched on it, you know, but I don't think we've ever dedicated a full episode about Providing. So what drew you to asking us about that?

[00:07:22] This was around that time, that clip was going around about that guy. I forget his name. They're not necessarily important. It's more so, I guess the dynamic they have, which is from the outside looking in, she makes most of the money.

[00:07:37] And he does a few things here and there, but he doesn't make as much as her on the outside looking in. So it's assumed that she pays most of everything. And then he was talking about how, I guess being a provider is more so, just more than financial.

[00:07:51] It's not necessarily just coming home and paying the bills. You got to have some emotional intelligence. You got to take care of things. You got to know things. Just what, that's mostly what he was saying. He was getting smoked out because of that on a timeline.

[00:08:03] Let's tie this to Twitter, bro. The people that were smoking him out, right? Would you say that they all had the same aesthetic? This is your platform. I was going to say, it was a specific group. And they all kind of match each other.

[00:08:24] Yeah, it's a small little group. You stay away from those. It's an internet group. You stay away from those. Can we get a little bit more specific or no? No, I mean like social media is a lot of group thinking, group following, group aesthetic.

[00:08:41] All their pictures are starting to look the same. It's low ISO, very dark. Very mood. The low exposure. The low exposure, you know. One picture, one picture, they pose regular. Next picture is a quote. Next picture they half bent over. Next picture is a video. And the blur.

[00:09:02] And the blur, yeah. And then the last picture is them like this. That frame is probably like 20 people. It's usually the same aesthetic, right? And then it's usually the same group thinking on what a man should do.

[00:09:21] Now, what you want for you is what you want for you. Can't blame you. Can't blame you. But I don't want you. But I know that I am not your guy. You know what I'm saying? Because the financial aspect of providing, yes, that's common.

[00:09:37] I mean, that's known, right? But I feel like women who only look for the financial aspect is going to disregard or neglect the other aspects that I think are important.

[00:09:50] And I don't want to put myself in a position where I do anything and I feel like I'm not going to be valued because it's not about how much I spend. So I kind of stay away. You are allowed to have your thoughts.

[00:10:02] I just know I'm not for you. What about you, bro? You're young, though. I just realized that you're still 26. Yeah, 26, 27 this year. So you're now experiencing, I guess, what we saw, what we had to navigate. I think it's a lot more pressure for you. It's worse now.

[00:10:21] Yeah, no, yeah, it's worse for you now because back then, I think, what was a nice gift back in the days that was kind of... Pandora? When I was 20? Back in Pandora Ring or something? Yeah, that, you could have got far with a Pandora bracelet. Yeah, good luck.

[00:10:36] I seen somebody get some Pandora bracelet, I knew he got far. Get a little charm bracelet, go crazy for a little year. Yeah, what was the other one? Alex and... Alex and Ani. That was a nice gift. My cousin used to love that shit.

[00:10:47] That was a nice gift. Now it's Van Cleef. Oh, God. Yeah, it's tough. I mean, you had the fucking rooftop shit the other day. Which one? You. Oh, that. Skrillex shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like my cousin, like, she used to love Alex and Ani. Oh, my God.

[00:11:03] Bro, for her birthday, she got... Oh, I see it was an Eliantte bag. I was like... Oh, wait, that whole presentation that went on? Yeah. I was like, when the fuck do we graduate to this? I was like... That's final form, bro.

[00:11:19] I didn't even know where the lobster tastes like. Bro, that used to get you far, you know what I'm saying? Little Applebee's. Now you gotta hit up Skrillex for a certain reservation at a certain restaurant. Go to Kach or something. You know why? Because of the picture.

[00:11:32] You gotta show that you was there. Purple clouds. The purple clouds. The purple clouds. The purple clouds. The blue hue. You know when the girls do their picture with the nails in front of the teeth? You know, the veneer agenda? He's like, that went on so bad.

[00:11:48] I do feel like all these things are true, but I think it starts with the guy, though. You gotta understand who you... What do you want and what does providing look like for you? Because providing looks like a lot of things. And that's one way providing looks.

[00:12:03] But if that's not you, then you know where to go. You just filter out what it is that you want to do. I feel like... Damn, I don't want to make it sound so bad. But date what you can afford.

[00:12:16] The woman you want, you may not be able to afford her. And when you are able to afford her, you may not want her. So a woman never made you feel like, nah, I gotta go get some money. I gotta get up and do something. I feel like...

[00:12:30] I've seen a woman before. It's not that I don't have enough money to approach her. It's more so like, nah, to do what I want to do and to really... I gotta get some money. You said to do what you want to do. He tripped his car!

[00:12:48] I know, right? I understand what you're saying. Y'all probably looking at it some other type of way. Let's break it down. You don't even know what she wants. You're just going off of her look.

[00:13:00] So you already preconceived, said, damn, I gotta get my money out the fuck for her. On the grid, she got three Valley Chanel's, bro. She got all this other shit. But that's like old fashion. I say all the... What's that website? DHgate, right?

[00:13:14] So it could be all that. But no, you might not want to fuck with a girl who doing that. So you're saying you already in your mind have said, oh, she costs this much to fuck with. And that might be the wrong mentality. No, no, no.

[00:13:26] See, I don't... My bad. Before you go, I'm not looking at it like that. I said what I want to do. This is not anything about her. It's more so how I want to pull up. You want to add to what you have seen.

[00:13:35] No, it's not about what I've seen. It's more so how I want to court and how I want to do things. That's how I want to pull up. Okay. Wait, go ahead. Listen, before you go, I got one more question. Sure.

[00:13:48] Is this mentality that you're discussing, is that same across the board or does it change depending on... Thank you, Joe. Thank you, Joe. It is not. I mean, certain things are the same across the board. But you've met a woman that is like, nah, she's diff. She's different.

[00:14:06] She's different. What is... LA, LA. I'm bugging the squirrels. I get it. I get where he's coming from. Sometimes you see somebody, you're like, God damn. I need to pick you up in this. We need to go here. This is what we need to do.

[00:14:22] And then sometimes reality hits you and says, can you really afford that bad bitch? But you... What are you saying, LA? Because you know he's fidgeting. He is fidgeting. I don't know what I'm saying. If my... If whoever I'm with... He's strong. If whoever I'm with...

[00:14:38] He's really good at it. I don't think I'm brainwashed. If I'm not necessarily motivated... I feel like my woman has to motivate me. Or if I look at you, I have to be motivated to go out and go get some money or go do something.

[00:14:50] I can't just be looking at you and like, this is cool. The woman determines that? She got to make me motivated. That's crazy though. That's the thing though. I'm not saying... Y'all are taking it in totality. I'm just saying I have to have that feeling too.

[00:15:02] On top of everything else, I would love to have that feeling when I look at you. To provide for her? Yes. I want you to be comfortable. I'm not using all these buzzwords and all that stuff. I'm just saying... Now you're using your voice.

[00:15:13] That's what I'm using your voice for. I hear it on the audio. Y'all was defensive. Y'all was defensive over it. So, I have to fight through that. But what I'm saying is... If I look at a woman and I'm thinking long term...

[00:15:24] Because I've seen a woman on the train and I'm like, oh wow. I could picture her life. And if in that life, I'm not picturing me working and going out to get it and being a provider... I don't really want to go up and talk to...

[00:15:35] Where are you? Okay, because you saw her on the train, right? That's an example. Versus... That's the perfect example. He can't even think of one. You saw her on the train versus you seeing her... In traffic? In a 6 series.

[00:15:48] Would that determine how much money you got to go get? If I see her on the train as opposed to seeing her in a 6 series? Yeah. She's an 8, matter of fact. I don't think so. I don't necessarily think so. Okay, that's what I was trying to figure out.

[00:16:02] Yeah, nah. Okay. You know me. I know you. Come on. But see, that's what I'm saying. Knowing... Okay, so for example... How can I say this? I used to date a girl who... Her profession had her around millionaires a lot.

[00:16:13] And her bosses used to take the train all the time. But they lived on... They lived on... What's after 5th? In the city? Yeah. It's Lexington. It's in the city. And they lived on... I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

[00:16:27] I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. It's Lex, 5th, and Park. Park, Madison. They lived on Park. Yeah. Anybody know... You living on Park? Yeah. You are high. It's up. It's up.

[00:16:46] There ain't no high over there. But they take the train. Because it makes more sense. It is. Not because it's cost efficient. It just makes more sense. So me seeing a woman on the train versus me seeing on a 6, is not going to determine,

[00:16:57] oh, I could take her there versus I need to take her there. Now, do I know the lifestyle that she is trying to live or persuade? This is why social media is a dangerous thing.

[00:17:09] Because I could see a woman and think she's mad expensive just off the lifestyle that she presents online. Until I found out people were ordering designer bags off Amazon just to post them. That is crazy. Those type of people. I've seen some fire on Canal.

[00:17:28] I was like, oh no, these niggas are going bad. So I post my Sunday bags. You just can't get caught up on what you see until you get to talk to the person.

[00:17:38] Then you realize, I bet we not a match because the lifestyle you want, the superficial person, I'm not even going to say woman because we're gender neutral here. The superficial person you choose to date, if that is what they see value in, I know I can't provide that.

[00:18:00] I can, but I can't because that is going to take away from the things that I'm good at as well. So I just stay away from the superficial shit. So coming from somebody like me, you know me, you know the things I like, you know what

[00:18:19] car I drive, you know what I'm trying to do. You didn't always drive that car though. I never drove no other shit. I drove something nice before. It was that year and I drove something else that year.

[00:18:31] So you know the type of life I'm trying to have and what I'm trying to do, right? So if that's what I want for myself and I see a young woman that I would love to have

[00:18:40] that life with, why would I not think I need some more money to go and go get so I could maintain all that and do all that. I'm motivated now to go do that so I can provide. How is that some crazy business?

[00:18:53] Nobody said it was crazy, right? I just think the approach and the mindset of it. It's too hard driven. No, I said me, you know me in real life, you know, he's saying that she's the motivation that's what he's saying. I feel like yeah, I've been there.

[00:19:12] You got a couple more years to go. Even even when you get the money, like I'm not saying by 30 you won't even be up more than you are now. You will be. I just don't think that is the that would be the motivating factor. It's not though.

[00:19:27] We started off the conversation talking about a specific thing. So we're in a specific conversation. You think I'm trying to focus it on the woman. I'm telling you the drive is going to the motivating factor of the drive is going to

[00:19:43] change because if you're going to do that for a woman, you're going to do that regardless, right? It's not about but right. So you're going to get the money whether you're with her or without her. You want to bring somebody into your atmosphere and have it flourishing.

[00:20:00] You want a well oiled machine. I'm not going to want to get the machine to be even more oiled because I'm with a girl or man. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, you know I'm saying. And I don't think it's sustainable.

[00:20:18] Well, that's if you're like spending money on her every single day. That's not what I'm talking about. No, it's okay. I think we're talking maybe I'm not communicating it the correct way. But all right. So let me ask you a direct question. What is your version of providing?

[00:20:33] So for me and where I see providing what it makes sense for me is for two people that's living in a house. We've got to go with the financial who makes more and then kind of figure it out.

[00:20:48] Now use that same voice when you felt you were fighting through it. Use the same voice when you were defending yourself. I don't have to. Not right now. So yeah, I ask another question. But I think it's really case by case.

[00:21:01] But for me, like I said, I guess seeing what financially makes the most sense as a man. I think I would want to take on most of the financial responsibility. I don't know what it is.

[00:21:11] I think it's just a guy thing or just what I've seen as opposed to like. 50-50. I don't necessarily. 50-50 is cool depending on what it is, but like not for everybody. It's not for everybody and not everything. So what number are you going for? 70-30? It depends.

[00:21:31] Like right now my situation, my girl graduates in two years. She's going to be making a hefty amount of money. So I work for myself. I have my companies and I do what I do.

[00:21:41] So how I'm looking at it is I have this time until then to either match that or to surpass that. You feel your value is less than her if you don't in two years? I know he's not getting that shit. Absolutely not. I don't know.

[00:21:57] So why is that even a thought then? Why not stay on? Is that a motivator or something? What motivates you guys? Can I ask you that? My peace and happiness, but I don't feel like you there yet.

[00:22:10] So what if my peace and happiness is me taking care of stuff? That's true. We've got to be open to other sides of things because it seems like we're not. I'm open to your side because I've been there 26.

[00:22:25] But you said since you've met me, I'm older than what's on paper. So what if I've thought about this and I've thought this fully through and I fully came up with this. Where you got this logic from? Well, dating. Who you dated?

[00:22:39] Who I've dated, who I've spoken to. I speak to my uncle. I've seen different things. I've seen how the woman in my family are versus women. I've seen the split in my family. How certain women are and how certain women aren't.

[00:22:52] That's like a first-hand view of how things are. Because when you look back on your childhood, you get to see like, okay, my aunt was like that because of this. Or my cousin was like this because of that.

[00:23:01] And you kind of think about things on a holistic view and you kind of get to see, okay. When they were dating, how did their dating life look? How did that look for everybody? When they were married, it looks like this.

[00:23:13] And it was a peaceful household or it was more chaotic. You just kind of look at things and you kind of want a road map of where you would want your life to look like.

[00:23:21] So provided in a relationship or in a marriage or anything like that, what is most important? Most important? Financial. That's what you gonna learn. For life? Yeah, it's up there. I'm not about to downplay like it's nothing, bro. Life is easier when you have the money.

[00:23:39] What if God forbid the woman is cheating on you? You know what's funny? I don't want to go over there, but it's like. Yo, I was watching some shit. I don't know if it was a skit.

[00:23:50] If it was a skit, I try not to play into those shits like that. But there was a skit where this, I don't know if it was a skit. I think it was in Your Close Friends. Where this nigga said he provided so much for her.

[00:24:04] It was in Close Friends. Close Friends. And she cheated on him because his dick wasn't good. And she suggested the rhino pill. But they were having this argument in front of his boys. You know? Cause I think his boys kinda put.

[00:24:17] His boys put him on to that shorty was cheating. Right? So he pressed her in front of her boys and he was like, bless you. And he was like, yo, I invested into your business. I did this, I did that, this and that.

[00:24:35] And she was like, yo, the dick ain't dicking. You want to have this conversation in front of everybody? I'm going to tell you in front of your boys. Your dick ain't good. I suggested the rhino pill, I suggested the honey pack. You wasn't with it.

[00:24:49] So yes, I'm happy that you put invested all of this into me, but I'm not satisfied. So what good is the money then? And I'm not going to, I'm not going to. Now you don't have to increase your voice to defend your penis. I don't want to know.

[00:25:00] I'm talking about the money at that point. If that was the case, I'm pretty sure he was doing a lot of other mindful things. Thoughtful, all emotional intelligence. But the one thing is she mentioned his dick wasn't good. Yeah. So, okay, cool. Take the money out.

[00:25:12] You're still doing all you're supposed to do, but your dick's still not good. And she still cheated. So then why is the money looked at as so negative and this and that? Because you know what? I could get everything on an equal playing field.

[00:25:23] This is why I say that. Because when you're with somebody, you have to really figure out what they want. Yeah. Because he provided everything that he thought was the deciding factors of what he should do. Yeah. But what he packed in the pockets was low between the legs.

[00:25:43] So she went out asking. Should have got a DDL. He should have, but I guess I don't want to take away the. Yeah. In all actuality, you should just know what your partner want and provide that. Because. Yeah, you got to figure out.

[00:26:05] It's the same corny conversation of the love language, right? If somebody's love language is physical touch and you don't hold their hand or you don't rub their hair or you don't do whatever a bunch of a bunch of physical things that they like.

[00:26:19] They still gonna feel deprived of. Yeah. Of that, no matter how much money you giving them. Or how much you spend.

[00:26:30] It's a quality time quantity you could pull up with all the nice gifts and the flowers in the car and this, that and the third and blah, blah, blah. But she don't feel like she get time from you. Then she's still not gonna be happy.

[00:26:41] What you do to make the relationship work? You should just know what is the biggest priority to the person. And if it is the financial cool. But that's what I'm saying. I'm past the superficial stage where. Yeah, I could provide all of that, but.

[00:26:58] That's not what I'm looking for. I'm talking about like, like a house or like a place like being comfortable in your 40s and 30s. That's what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about frivolous things like a bag or something like that.

[00:27:11] I'm thinking of getting money so I could. I don't have to worry about bills in the future or whatever or worrying about taking care of a family. I don't want anybody.

[00:27:18] But you see, the only reason why I say that is because you mentioned that as a catalyst to who you're dating. Not if you were single. Wait, what? You would see a woman and say, I need to do this.

[00:27:33] I'm telling you, you don't need to see anybody still do it. I am. But if I see somebody and I want to have a future with them, I'm going to be motivated to do that because I see it. It's tangible. It's there.

[00:27:45] If I'm seeing it, it's there and I can do it. I'm going to be more motivated to do it now that I have somebody and it's in my head. Oh, yes. Up now. What about them is motivating you to get there?

[00:27:54] Well, I'm an entrepreneur. I need motivation every day. So they're they're feeding into me. They're giving if I don't have something, they're trying to get it from me. If I need to do something, they're trying to help me do it. Like it's a lot of things.

[00:28:05] I got a question. Would the motivation be the same or more if you had a child before? I'm talking about like not like, you know, you know, it happens. But, you know, you had a child with a girl that you end up being with.

[00:28:16] Would your motivation be the same as far as that or would it be more? I think it would be. It will probably be more because it's a child and it's like it's not.

[00:28:28] It's a child. So I'm looking after the child for like years and even after they're grown. So it'll probably be a little bit more. But I mean, it's the same, bro.

[00:28:37] Like I have it like if I see my family, I got I get the same feeling that I want to go get some money. I want to take care of things to go take care of people. So I don't think it's this woman specific.

[00:28:46] We just started on that foot. So, yeah, I hear you. But I think it's more so just just who I am. I want to be a provider. So if you want to be a financial provider, it's not something that I see on social media.

[00:28:56] Outside of do you know how to provide outside of financial? Yes, we're just. Yeah, I do. OK, yeah, we're just talking about financial right now. You can gather. I can use my hands. You know how to fish? Yeah. Squares, you know how to fish, right?

[00:29:15] I don't know how to fish. I'm not one. It's more so patience, but I can fish. Go ahead. I have emotional intelligence. I might want to go fishing. I ain't gonna lie to you. If we all took a fishing trip, it's a long game, though. That's fine.

[00:29:31] I mean, we could potters be fish. But not like, you know, it's funny. Like I used to like that, too, to a certain degree. Now, like what's important to me is shifting. I look at like freedom and like control of my time is like super important.

[00:29:43] Yeah, I don't want to be the financial. I don't want to be the finance guy my whole life. It fucking sucks. Like being the guy that has to take care of anything financially is so annoying. I'd much rather empower everybody around me and they take care of me.

[00:29:55] I'm tired of this shit. But even like in a partner now, I'm like, yo, I want somebody that can build something with that sustainable and it can grow instead of me saying, like, yo, now I got to work 80 hours to take care of three or four kids,

[00:30:09] put them through this and that. Like, I don't want to take that financial burden myself. Yeah, I think that's the same thing my father did. That's why I said, well, it goes to Kwanee's point on what he saw, right?

[00:30:21] My father, it's safe to assume that he felt like he provided because he worked a lot and he paid for everything. But we never, I don't really know him like that in a sense. You know what I'm saying?

[00:30:37] So, or my parents feel like because they provided a roof over my head, they did their job. And that's not to take away from them, but there's so many variables that kind of affected my adolescence that I'm kind of learning now as an adult

[00:30:53] because they thought the provision that they provided was enough when it wasn't. So, I might trade, I might tell like the Saturdays where it was double overtime, maybe he could have missed that and we could have hung out. You know what I'm saying?

[00:31:12] Or, you know, instead of the free time that he had that he wanted for himself, I get it, maybe I could have tagged along or, you know, some sort of social activity. So, me growing up seeing the just the financial part covered,

[00:31:27] that was me realizing that's not enough as the receiving end of it. So, I know going forward when I have that family, like that's why I'm working hard now because I don't actually have anybody to report to me.

[00:31:41] So, I can be selfish with my time and work a whole bunch of hours. But then when I get to the point where I have to devote my time or I feel like something or someone is worthy of my extra time,

[00:31:53] I know time is a little bit more important than all the financial activities. Because yes, life is a little bit easier. A little bit? Or less stress, yeah, because there are other deciding factors that play into it.

[00:32:08] Like, yes, life is a little bit easier when bills are paid, everything. You don't have the financial burden, but life is still life, you know what I'm saying? You still got to worry about health. There's a lot of things money can't buy with health.

[00:32:23] Time, peace, happiness, there are a lot of things that I would trade the money for. Love too. Love, facts, facts. Because I used to think, say when I was around your age and I used to see women

[00:32:39] that I was like, oh, I can't wait till I can afford her. I'd be like, damn, you know what the problem is? How do I know they're going to love me for me?

[00:32:50] You had that conversation, that's why you said you stopped wearing your chains, your rings and all that stuff. I used to... Yeah, my glasses gave out, I still got a seat. But I used to wear a lot of jewelry.

[00:33:03] To be honest with you, I don't know where the hell my chain is at. No, I didn't get robbed. I have no idea where my chain is at. I had a nice ring. But then it was like, yo, how do I know... You want me for me.

[00:33:16] And that's important to me. For me, it's because I know I can provide the financial that I care less about that. You know what I'm saying? There's nothing I won't do or work to get. So I know I got that covered.

[00:33:29] But it's kind of the feeling on the inside that I'm craving for more than what I could do. LA keeps saying your age, but at the same time, I understand what you're saying. I totally understand what you're saying.

[00:33:49] The reason why my mind has changed a little bit is because that reference you brought up when you were on the plane, you were talking to that guy in first class, he was like, yo, I make all this money, I don't get to see my family.

[00:33:56] Bro, as LA is talking about his pops, I don't know who my pops is, bro. Even me hanging out with my pops now, I think I said it on the pod. We was watching a Bob Marley movie. He's like, oh, I grew up in that tenement.

[00:34:10] I said, what the... You grew up around Bob Marley? He said, yeah, we used to play soccer. I'm like, bro, who the fuck are you, bro? I don't want to be there for my kids, bro. That shit is scary. I want to be there for my kids financially.

[00:34:24] I want to be there for my wife and my whole family financially. I think that's my biggest fear. Okay, that's understandable. That's understandable. I feel like in a sense... Hell yeah, the money is important as fuck. Your shorty got to be your best business partner.

[00:34:40] Got to be an accountant sometimes. She got to... You got to manage your books. You got to understand this shit is a relationship is a true partnership. You got to understand what they're good at, what I'm good at,

[00:34:52] and see if it mends well and try to make it work to the best of the abilities. I think we got to drown out the society pressures, and I'm not saying that's you, but I do feel like there is pressure on everybody to...

[00:35:09] There was a point in time... All right, so boom, back in the days, the woman felt like she had to stay home cooking clean. Now the women are working and making more... You said in two years the women are...

[00:35:19] In two years, she's going to make a lot of money. And in two years, you're going to try to match that or even go further. Right? So that means that's less time for her to be in the kitchen.

[00:35:30] And if you working, that's less time for you to be home. Who gonna eat? So that's the thing, bro. I'm trying to make enough for a show. Like I keep saying, it's case by case.

[00:35:42] So all the things I'm doing now is to where I don't have to work when I'm 35. That's my goal right now. I don't have to work. I don't have to leave my house and I can still make the same amount of money that I'm doing

[00:35:53] as if I'm going outside and doing all these things. So the things I'm working on is so that I don't end up in a place like that. Maybe I'm too optimistic. No, no, no, we're not trying to shit on your optimism.

[00:36:05] We're not trying to downplay what you think. I think about the brighter side of things oftentimes. So I think that's where I leave. I just think that the conversation on providing... You meet a person where they at, and y'all try to ascend together. Right?

[00:36:19] So when I meet somebody or when I do meet somebody, I'm going to meet them where they at and then getting to know them, I'm going to figure out where they're trying to go. It doesn't match with where I'm trying to go. Right? So... Not to shit. Boom!

[00:36:38] Yeah, I ain't going to indulge too much. But there's a reason why one of us here wouldn't date an older woman because she felt like, OK, she's close to this age. She's going to want kids. I don't want that. Right now. Right?

[00:36:56] You try to see where they're going. Oh, I'm not trying to be there in two years. That's not what I want. Right? So you don't rush those conversations, but you do try to figure that out. You try to scout out what is the plan here.

[00:37:10] Because imagine five years later, you know I want three kids. What the fuck? Now both of y'all wasted five years. That's a first two month conversation. I mean, a lot of people, a good thing about it is a lot of people change their minds. Yeah, facts, of course.

[00:37:28] They're allowed to. I have a friend that literally was like, yo, I've been in a relationship for seven years. She wants to have kids. I literally don't want to have a kid anymore. I don't know what you're telling me that for. I don't have a pussy, bro.

[00:37:42] Talk to your lady, bro. You have to have those kinds of tough conversations. It's tough as fuck, but it's like, yo, we talked about our man's like we told our man's in the chat. Don't keep waiting. That's true. Get the conversation. That's true.

[00:37:59] So what does providing look like for you? Individually or in a relationship? In a relationship. So in a relationship, it's a case by case study. What does it look like to you? It would have to depend on the woman. Your ideal situation.

[00:38:12] My ideal situation changes with the woman. How? It's your ideal situation. Nobody else's is your ideal one. So whatever you say, it just goes. I mean, there is no ideal situation. You don't know what's going to happen. Like say like nothing's really ideal. He's right now.

[00:38:34] Like in terms of this, look, right. Say two years goes by. Now your woman is the breadwinner. Right. And like say like, you know, she's making up to support the family. What not. Actually, no, it's a bad example. Let me move on from that.

[00:38:50] I had a decent one. But like I say, say, say your woman is entrepreneur in the family. Right. And you have the day job. Yeah. Would you give up your day job to help her business? Going somewhere. Oh, shit. I forgot you don't have a mic.

[00:39:10] Is it going somewhere? Like is an actual business? I got it yesterday. But OK, but now she's providing a situation. Now, see, and now she's is she the provider or are you the provider? She's the provider. I mean, yeah, she's a provider. How would that make you feel?

[00:39:27] If it works, it works. My ego is not too big. My pride and providing don't match. My pridefulness and providing aren't linear. So when I was younger, I felt like, oh, I got to provide money, money, money, money. Because that's how I exert my dominance.

[00:39:42] Now and it's like, OK. She may not. That's why I say, yo, I've met women. I've dated women where money is not a thing to them. They make just enough. They make enough to what's like, if not more. But that's the thing. They're not in survival mode.

[00:40:00] They get to feel and live life because they have money. That's the first thing you have to have money to get there. So then you negate the money aspect. And then can you provide? There was a woman I dated. Acts of service was her thing.

[00:40:12] It didn't matter if. Well, yes, it did matter if the bills were paid. But at the same time, she was more grateful. The head was better. The dishes was done, opposed to if I paid the bills. Yes, I'm good until it's time to do that.

[00:40:27] So it's more there's more than just the financial and it's more than just that other stuff, too. It's more than that. I put each thing on an equal playing field.

[00:40:36] But right now where I'm at in my life, getting the money is more important to me than I talk up, bro. I'm thinking I'm talking. Talk up. Like I said, we're all that the emotional intelligence. Everything is the same. You want to own the same.

[00:40:51] Yeah, well, I put everything on the same playing field. Like let's say I have emotional intelligence, being thoughtful, being attentive, all that stuff. I have it on a ninety five. But I have the financials on a ninety eight. Would you say all the same?

[00:41:04] All the women you talk to, you think if they had to do a Yelp review or who you are as a man, you think what would you think? You think you are who you think you are? For right now, I think I'm a more evolved version.

[00:41:15] I'm doing more like I before my previous relationship. Like I had a roommate now live on myself. I have a different car. I have a better car. I do more in my business. I have more businesses. So it's different. So it'll be a little different.

[00:41:33] But as far as like the intangibles, that's all that all stays the same. But me looking at my life, I don't plan on going to work for anybody. I plan to be an entrepreneur for however long this lasts for.

[00:41:40] I got to have the money in the forefront of my head. And my woman has to understand that. She has to support that and motivate me to do that. Me too. Me too. As much as I'm saying like, you know, financials is not all up there.

[00:41:57] It's up there, but it's like it's up there, man. Most of you are. But I mean, like say you're taking care of all the financial stuff and everything. Would you still view her as your equal or? Absolutely.

[00:42:10] She does a lot of things and at that point, she'll still be doing a lot of things. But at that point, I'm more. I plan to be making a pretty good amount to be taking care of mostly everything.

[00:42:22] So when that happens, I'm going to like I said, I plan to not be doing not be physically doing anything. Because like you said, time. So I'm trying to make money as I do nothing. So I plan to do more of that in the future.

[00:42:34] So I have more time if we have kids. I'll be I'll be doing all the kids stuff. I'll be doing all you ever actually go. Does my how much of my financial contribution matters in this relationship? Yeah. I don't care about that. It's a me thing.

[00:42:51] That's what we're not. It's a me thing. I keep saying it's a me thing. I started this by saying when I see somebody, it's a me thing. About this conversation. I don't know if I think I was a little bit older. Me and Ellie had the same conversation.

[00:43:04] We had the same fucking conversation. That's why my mind kind of shifted a little bit. He's like, yo, bro, you stop putting so much stock into that shit, bro. Like you do way more than that. But focus on that. Yes, but it's more.

[00:43:17] But it's still more than that. Yeah, because I'm not not to. But I feel like Don offers mad shit. Like, OK, Don is also the financial provider and he's the cook. Right. So I think this was around the time where he was looking for a new job.

[00:43:38] And I was like, yo, bro, you do mad shit. You cook, you clean, you are Mr. Clean. You're the chef. You alleviate the stress. You try to create the atmosphere. Don't come, baby. Yeah. That's. You deserve. Stop. But I'm like, yo, bro, like it's it's a.

[00:44:02] It's a lot, bro. It's a lot like you got it. You got to understand that there's there's a lot. My fault. I know you want to give yourself that two years as a marker. I want to say don't. But that is your life. But.

[00:44:16] Yo, control what you can control. But that was I'm not going to lie. I was there before she got there. OK, I'm going to be. Now, now you basically. This is my. No, that's the thing. That's that's what I said before. Now that I have somebody, it's tangible.

[00:44:30] I see it. I feel it. It's there. Therefore, I have a different approach to it as opposed to me just saying, oh, yeah, no, in a few years when I ever find me somebody, maybe switch gears, blah, blah.

[00:44:39] Now I'm focused on myself, but that's not my reality right now. I am focusing on me and somebody else. Therefore, my mind shifts. I think about things a bit different. Life has a way of jading you, right? Yeah, I'm going to give you an example.

[00:44:53] And Don know what I'm talking about. A year ago, literally a year ago, a couple of weeks ago to a year. It made over a year. I was leaving a spot. Man. Happy. Right. And I'm like, oh, bro, I think I hit you the next day.

[00:45:11] I'm like, oh, bro. See, that's the type of shit I want. In the future. A year later, that same motivating factor looks so. It's so unfortunate that I wouldn't wish that on anybody. So. I'm in this space now where things change, people change, situations change.

[00:45:33] So what I provide now may not be it a year from now. So you have to be able to shift and have enough tools in your kit to where if this ain't enough a year from now, I'm also good at this.

[00:45:49] Like I can't be a one trick pony where all my stock is or what for me is just money. And to me, I think it's easier for us as men because we don't kind of look for a woman to provide for us. Exactly. So what I look for.

[00:46:10] The provision that I look for in a woman is not more so a piece of mind, but don't disrupt it. I need a nurture. Yeah, you think so? Yeah, I need a nurture.

[00:46:22] Like I feel like I feel like we do a lot to the point where it's like sometimes you get overwhelmed. I need somebody to like relieve the stress. To calm me down when times get a little too hectic. You know what I'm saying?

[00:46:33] So yeah, I need a good nurse. And that I'm going to call it on that one. Don't feel like no, I feel like women in the nursing profession are the best caretakers. It depends. It depends what they're doing. It depends what they're doing.

[00:46:49] They could be busy as shit. They ain't got time to fucking nurture you. That's true. But some of them don't work the three day straight. In LA's wildin. Nigga, I already got arthritis in my shoulder. I'm going to fuck my other knee up.

[00:47:02] Don Peasley, Don the camera guy. LA is wildin. Miss Lady, LA wants you to thrust. That's all I know. I'm out of here. I'm out of here. Kwonster, Squillione, Mr. Know-it-all. I appreciate y'all. Why you so quiet this episode? I felt like you had mad shit to contribute.

[00:47:22] You ain't chilling this episode, huh? I was chilling for the part of the episode letting Kwonny and LA go back and forth. And that's why, not that. This goes back to my point earlier in an old episode. The casualties of potting. Oh my God.

[00:47:42] Certain things you can't, you just, you gotta protect home. Bro. The things we talk about. We don't even talk about nothing crazy. That's true. But there's certain things you don't want to deal with when the pot is done. Yeah. On the playback. Absolutely.

[00:47:57] Don't question me about what I said. Because one, I'm not pussy. Don't make it sound like who I am on this mic is not who I am on a day-to-day verse. And this is not for anybody. I'm just talking about for myself. Right?

[00:48:08] So don't make it seem like what I'm saying here is a for show. Because I'm going to say it to you, to your face. Or I've said it to you before. I've never said it on the pod. So I'm not a caricature. Right? Two.

[00:48:23] I'll just speak for me. When I'm in a relationship and the woman I'm dating. Listens to the pod. She doesn't listen objectively. She listens as if I'm talking to her. Why would they? Because you were a fan before. Right? And the same advice that I would give you.

[00:48:41] Is the same advice that I'm speaking on the pod. But you taking it as a sub. It's not a sub. Like stop doing that. Stop doing that. I'm stop doing that. And then I'm going to just say this and we can wrap. Please. Right?

[00:48:59] And I'm not speaking for nobody. I don't know. Nobody's. Well, no, I can't even say that because that ain't gonna be. Oh, that is going in the next episode. I just thought about that. This is gonna go into the next episode. So I hate the best part. Right?

[00:49:11] Right. Sicko. Yo. Damn. What else? Oh, what I say here is not. Oh, sorry. Now I know what I'm gonna say. We all pod better when we're not in a relationship. Thank you for listening to what's a good guy that comes out every Monday on 8 a.m.

[00:49:27] On Mondays. You don't know what you want to say. Yeah. It's the truth. I pod better when I'm not in a relationship. You don't worry about nobody. Thank you. Like you're not going to try to hold me accountable to what I say because.

[00:49:41] You got to say what I said. No, not even that, because that comes off as like, I don't care about your feelings. But if you cannot listen objectively, that's why I said I don't want to date listeners.

[00:49:50] Because if you had an objective way of listening prior to you dating me, the episode would have still came out the same whether I dated you or not. You did it. So. If I have a pic of a pin on why I like yellow rice.

[00:50:08] Now, all of a sudden you listening. Oh, you like Spanish women? I do not want to. I do not want to do that. I do not want to do that. You know what I'm saying? Or you see how I made the nurse babe joke.

[00:50:21] How my dumb ass would have made the same joke? I'm not getting pointed. It's a joke. She ain't feeding me spaghetti. I try to turn my man into a goat out here, bro. Yo, til next time. We got to go. God is good, baby.