Episode 272: Reciprocity

[00:00:00] We're supposed to hold photo shoot bro. Go on. Okay, you ready? Yeah. All right. Let's go three two one You already know what it is. It's Don Peasley alongside of LaShawn. Another beautiful day here at NYC We're at the compound hanging out with the fellas

[00:00:19] squirrels some guys junk out Three weeks straight boy. I ain't gonna front you just three weeks strong Pause, nigga bums blow no Oh pride month Squares have pride Squares bumsy is out boy thing out by a thing. I'm skin. Oh, how you feeling brother?

[00:00:40] You think so right bright I'm trying to be as bright as possible Would you ever want to dress together in the spot in a spot together He's trying to make fun of me a source your Cyrus did that was that was but that was like

[00:00:56] That was unplanned, okay, um, it depends you had to go outside of them Not that would be too crazy. Well both was dressed. I'm not sure. Yeah, I don't know What if y'all like had like what's a good guy merch? You know

[00:01:14] About the same fit head to toe like matching twins. I think doesn't wear hats though. True. Great Oh We got a question guys, oh shit now y'all been y'all been killing anybody gonna do the blue schools

[00:01:58] Oh, you just got a question we just got a question we just got a It is from court court high court court, that's not a name but that's that's my guy shouts Courtney. Love you kiddo

[00:02:19] Courtney axed when does a Courtney please? I hope this is not the same nigga Courtney Podcast Courtney is They want day one Courtney axed when does a guy know he found the one Courtney? I

[00:02:37] Hope this is not about the same nigga. Cuz if it is let him go. He don't deserve you Wow But well, but when does a guy know he found the one But nobody else matters Okay You say you found one before few times

[00:03:12] Well, I'll tell you what I felt in those moments that made me feel like I found the one in those moments I felt like Life was solved. Mm-hmm Meaning that I have my running mate to where

[00:03:33] No matter what I face I can look over my shoulder and know that the person next to me Got me and I got them right. So also Shouts my nigga Tulsa. I love you toes. I love the support you've been showing us, but she says something

[00:03:56] Queen the Queen Right, but shout it's all love. I guess it still tastes good. I'm listening Tulsa said that I Don't want to know what nigga problems early That was crazy, right It was oldie scary enough. That is like yo, when do you tell right?

[00:04:24] My one I would never have to worry about that. I Would never have to worry about that I would never have to worry about me telling you a problem that I'm having will alter the way you view me so that's how I know where

[00:04:40] I'm not saying me telling you my problem means that I could saw that you have to solve it or take anything off my plate You are just a safe space

[00:04:49] For me as a person, you know, cuz it's still men's mental health month, right if it really is that important that me sharing this You provide a space where none of the fears of being emasculated short and not man enough Etc etc

[00:05:07] It's null and void because you still value me as who I am When I share this with you, so that's how I know when I feel comfortable that I could share whatever problems without thinking That you may look at me differently so my my view of it is

[00:05:24] Like if you know my past, you know, I used to be outside. Mm-hmm. So when I felt like I found the one Try not to say this is nowhere That person was home sometimes home is a person

[00:05:48] Get a person's home that's a safe haven it's like I've been outside so much That nothing else nothing else mattered at during that time Shit Yeah, facts don't see anything outside. So I swear me and me and me and I'll be here bro. I swear bro. It's like

[00:06:10] when when a person it when a person does feel like Like the comfort of your home You know how I always say like I like to isolate and stuff like that, yeah if I want to isolate with you

[00:06:24] Even when I'm mad at you, yeah, I want to isolate with you like I don't want to Walk out. I don't need to gather. We don't have to talk but you being in the same room. It's still comforting, right?

[00:06:37] Yes, cuz I know you I know you're around. Yeah, it was crazy I had a moment leave me I had a moment during that time was like yo, we was out to eat

[00:06:44] She's like, yeah, why you wanna we went to like a different state? She was like, yeah, why you want to eat this here? You don't want to do something else. I kind of got mad

[00:06:52] What if I really just wanted to try to shit here? Mm-hmm, and that's got mad quiet We talked about it in the previous episode. Like I got a little irritated and then quiet. She's like you mad at me

[00:07:00] I was like just annoyed. I'm not mad. It's like I'm annoyed that you said this. Mm-hmm. They're five minutes late I'm looking at her and I saw a smile and I say I Yes, yes

[00:07:14] Get on my nerves, but it's my nerves you get it's like I wouldn't want nobody else to upset me Yeah, so get on my nerves. Yeah, I rather you annoy me. Let me be happy Who would have thought but uh

[00:07:31] Let's let's continue with the last question Kojo ax and Kojo what did you ask last week I asked What if you don't know how you want to be loved How do you like navigate? Telling somebody because I was talking about being taught. So yeah, how do you navigate?

[00:07:50] Letting somebody know like you I might not always know how I want to be loved right and that So I'll tell you this story not as this is not a story There are certain cities that I'll pick up a trick for

[00:08:05] Because one of my bros lived there and one of my bros is Rob shout-out to Rob He's doing his thing with Nike so anytime I'm in Portland, he's the man on campus The man on campus he takes me to the Nike store and

[00:08:25] And tells me you know get what you want probably got the greatest discount I've ever seen and He shows me the campus he shows me everything Nike related and then we usually go out to eat and

[00:08:42] In this travel, we were just talking. I told him, you know, I moved into my new apartment And he was like, you know just having God talk. He was like, oh you had anybody over yet? Like

[00:08:55] And I'm like nah like, um, you know, I kind of I kind of enjoy making this a home and Because of the way I was brought up I know how sacred my home is like, you know people be like You know

[00:09:10] you got a bachelor pad the bachelor pad has a Notion that you won't have women in and out like a revolving door But this is literally my pad that it's my safe haven now, right? So I'm Really mindful on who comes in this door who Who doesn't?

[00:09:26] So he was like, yeah, I feel like we're at that age where reciprocity is huge for us where Whatever we're giving out we want in but we got to know what we want in

[00:09:40] Right and he was like his boy told me he was like his boy told him is this saying that? I kind of wrote it down when he said it cuz he actually called his boy to to clarify the saying so he said

[00:09:54] You can't marry what you love to fuck and you and the person you probably love to fuck the most isn't the one that you should marry Can you repeat that one more time? He said you can't marry who you love to fuck and what you are

[00:10:10] Because who you love to fuck isn't the one that's probably good for you and who you love isn't the one that you love to fuck I disagree because you you wouldn't want to you mean like in a general sense. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah

[00:10:22] You're not shit like I want to make it love. Yeah Yeah, yeah Basically what he was saying was the home that you have you probably wouldn't want your best either to stay longer than the Then lunch, right And

[00:10:46] And the one that probably isn't your best either probably loves you more than Right. So that's what he was kind of saying in nigga turn I don't think that you can marry like Joe Because Okay

[00:11:25] Focus focus the person that you are in love with is most of highly like she's successfully and She's she's satisfied you sexually Is she my best eater what if if you don't refer to her that way no, but she still does What you need sexually the best?

[00:11:46] Those things don't connect for y'all not a woman you love also fucks the shit out of you. Yeah The better body ever had you would hope for that but not referring to her as a year

[00:11:57] That's what I was fucking up at but not referring to her either that will make you now view her different So that's what I mean She could still be the top one that you've ever had and you love her for that and everything else. That's what I mean

[00:12:09] That's all that's what I hope for But I think the intent Is where the where the saying comes in line? So if like Hypothetically if I'm out there out and about in these streets and my sole goal is to find

[00:12:30] Who I'm taking home to lay up in this king-size bed with these beautiful sheets And you know, I'm saying nice little candle, you know, I'm saying come on man Right. And is that that it's probably hot Oh battery. All right

[00:12:45] Quani, can you do me a solid replace that battery? Thanks one of the shit so So yeah with that being there's a battery in in the bag in the camera bag camera bag some right there But all of them are fully charged. So if I'm my goal is

[00:13:02] to who I'm laying in a bed with Because my intent isn't on long term. It probably won't that's not who I should be doing that with the intent of long term gotta be

[00:13:17] Everything got to be intentional. So I'm looking I'm dating to marry opposed to I'm dating to lead to sex So cool so in those moments right where You don't know how you want to be loved in the moment What do you then say to your partner?

[00:13:38] So culture was like, how do you tell somebody How you want to be loved if you don't know how you want to be loved. I know how I don't want to be loved Okay, so that's where we start

[00:13:49] Things that do the things I don't I've seen in my past. I don't want that. Mm-hmm. That's not the best way But that's just the way Just don't do that. You just don't do that those things. I don't I don't like yeah

[00:14:01] Okay, so let's let's let's start with the law of reciprocity Going above and beyond for the department and then being publicly recognized and rewarded for your performance That's you to your manager in a workspace now in a relationship space, right?

[00:14:19] Uh, let's see, let's do a negative. Let's do a negative Examples Jim always gives cheap birthday gifts to his brother his birth His brother always buys him something very nice right in marriage a Negative reciprocity is built different it refers to a situation where one spouse

[00:14:43] Negative behavior is a mirrored by the other spouse So For example, it gives an example For example, if one spouse is rude to the other that over time the second spouse is likely to start becoming rude in return

[00:15:00] So you saying how you don't you leading with you don't You may not know how you want to be loved but leading how you don't want to be loved in exchange would probably

[00:15:12] Her receiving that and giving it back and saying I don't want to be loved like this neither So though you may not know how you want to be loved you not know

[00:15:20] You knowing how you don't want it how I go you could build on that and kind of figure out. I well, I don't want this

[00:15:27] I don't want this. I don't want this. Well, it then makes you realize. Well, maybe I do want this right? So for me, I know How I want to be loved but I also know how I Don't want to give love so I don't want to

[00:15:49] For example if I was dating a woman, right Where I want space she don't want space so That don't work for her She wants me to talk it out I want space so my balance of that is When it's not when it's when it's my fault I

[00:16:21] Go above and beyond to show hey, I'm here but I would want space even when it's my fault That's not fair. Yeah. Yeah, that's not fair So I would do the best to rectify it when it's my fault when it's her fault She's Queen

[00:16:39] Fix it, but I always say yo when you break a glass No matter if you pick collect all the pieces you could never reform it. So let me just get over the glass breaking

[00:16:51] Opposed to you trying to fix it you fixing it is making it worse. You won't cut yourself Cut me You won't cut me so that's how that's how kind of you know the give and take the balance of

[00:17:07] What I want to give versus what I want to take and what you want to give versus what I should take I like that. You said um You know how you don't want to give love. Yeah yeah, because

[00:17:20] Not that not that you're not worthy of it, it's just not my style like I'm not comfortable Doing things in that manner that fashion, you know, what if that's like a deal-breaker for her? I'm always I'm always keen on compatibility. I

[00:17:37] Really can accept now in life who I'm compatible with and who I'm not and that doesn't mean we're not Good or we're not good people You know So that's kind of what I lean on Joe What do you what type of? Fucking up the word again

[00:18:04] Reciprocity do you look for in all relationships not just significant Wow Respect I think that is like You know what hurts the most Yeah, you know what hurts the most realizing your girl don't respect you Fight what point at what point do you notice that though?

[00:18:28] Wait, she handled you. All right Okay, the way she handled I think The respect does get lost. I think women can be disrespectful at times In pockets of moments and moments and shit like that

[00:18:42] It doesn't always equal them not having respect for you because I think they actually do have respect for you They just the way they handle the issue sometimes Wacky, but I just that's one thing. I can't I cannot Accept is just constantly being disrespected

[00:18:58] You know spoken down to call out my name things of that nature just saying calling out my name I fight desert or Deliberate attacks to hurt me because you're upset

[00:19:12] I thought I don't care how much I love you. I gotta love myself more. I can't stay in that environment because if If I tell you like y'all didn't like that you did this you do it again. It's like So you ever Woman axiom to be very honest

[00:19:30] Have you ever disrespected y'all girl? Oh for sure. I think I had In what way though I Could I could disrespect it but I know I'm disrespecting I'll say something's like nice disrespectful

[00:19:49] Like I didn't mean it like that. Like I see you as a friend if I'm talking to my boys How you ever feel like realize you did something that crossed the line, you know you cross the line whatever that crossing the line is

[00:20:02] disrespect could mean in multiple different ways like I Dealt with a girl who hate how fast I hung up the phone. Like I didn't wait to She said bye. I just like it wasn't intentional, but she just felt like it was Disrespectful that I just banged

[00:20:19] Right, that may not be an issue to the next woman. I think so. That's what I'm saying. Have you ever Disrespected a girl. I'm your girl. Yeah disrespected. Okay, I'll give you I tell you what happened. It was an argument

[00:20:33] And then like so she was driving. She's like dropping me. I see you Got the car You just got out the car made traffic not I'm a traveling she's dropping me over at the crib and I'm I just walked out And I just walked around the corner

[00:20:47] She called me. So Wow I think I just need to cool off. Okay Reciprocity, yes, you got it, right In the negative one She matched your disrespect with disrespect, how do you not go tit-for-tat?

[00:21:16] Yeah, I'm always picking the big somebody has to be the bigger person now but see Easier said than done because in that moment she felt disrespected you walked out But see if I'd have walked out right whatever my reason for walking out

[00:21:33] The minute she said why the fuck you walked out? Yeah, that's no avoid it's over. That's all it takes I Look for me walking away. I say why'd you walk away? That was that was very rude the language

[00:21:50] Cause and effect guys, you can't do something to get her tight and then get mad that she's tight. All right, so that's not true That's not true That's not true, okay you walk out your shorty because self-control plays a role you walk out your shorty

[00:22:04] I'm gonna go not to the extreme. I gotta go extreme you walk on your shorty She dropped you off you walk out. You say nothing you upset she parked the car. She will go smack you You could have said you don't have to just get out and walk

[00:22:26] Self-control So you let's be realistic if we're in a heated moment Let's not act like we're not gonna curse or I gotta be mad, but they are some people who don't curse in arguments

[00:22:39] That's cool, but we can understand that feelings are high we're gonna curse. Oh my god, the way that you're talking us As long as you don't cross the line I feel like me curse as you walk out the car

[00:22:53] That's a valid question and I'm mad cuz you walked out the car like that Now I don't think Juan is pandering cuz me and Quan he has have had these talks enough that I know he's dead-ass right but at the same time

[00:23:09] Quan he always likes to lead off. Let's be realistic. That's how he tries to convey his point So, let's be realistic I Don't think Fight and fire with fire is going to help put out the flame right so

[00:23:32] Someone gotta be the extinguisher bro, right? So that's what I was talking about there comes the self-control because One thing I hate in relationships when Somebody plays me for a fool

[00:23:45] Like I've been in therapy long enough to know yo, you're trying to gaslight me and I'm not gonna allow this we're not doing this But the way I used to handle realizing. Oh you trying to play me for a fool. Oh

[00:23:58] And it's always the ones with the college degrees that won't play me for an idiot So I Would get angry because I feel like you think you can outsmart me But I know I try to think bigger picture I try to think Do I want this to end?

[00:24:19] Right. So no matter how much I'm angry right now. I know I don't want this relationship to end So don't take it there It took a long time for me to get there cuz they used to be. Oh if it's up is up

[00:24:34] Nah, I don't want this to end But how can how can you we get our point across to our lady right without her thinking I'm a pushover Like you know, I'm not find that balance not gonna pump me in this situation. You're not going

[00:24:53] But then I feel like if I have to think like that I shouldn't be with you Are you right though? Damn? Nah, bro, but I think naturally as men we assert our our dominance in other ways where

[00:25:06] Even if you do handle your situations or your conflicts in a way where even the thought of being a pushover come up to the surface Your woman knows like nah, my man. He he ain't no bitch. You know, I mean

[00:25:18] Respectfully nah, I know like I think you you assert your Everywhere else. Yeah. Okay, like you protect and provide it like that woman if that woman expects you to provide and protect She can't also think you would push over Those three things don't align

[00:25:36] Okay, so reciprocity in relationships look like a fair balance of give-and-take You listen and you feel listen to You both check in on each other You take turns to initiate plans. There's a mutual support. I mean, there's a mutual support and respect right Listen to this quote

[00:25:57] reciprocity in relationship means There's an exchange of energy or support each person gives or received it's not tiff attack and it's not always 50-50 Sometimes one person may need more support

[00:26:11] Sometimes one person may have more energy to give but in general it feels like each person is putting an energy to receive from the relationship For those of us that shut down Right How do we then? Allow our significant other

[00:26:32] To give when we don't want anything from them How do they feel seen in that relationship a little patience man? So patience Okay, nothing. What about you darling? You shut down. What do you uh? What do you how do you expect

[00:26:52] When you shut down and you don't want you want to figure everything out on your own What is Danny for your girl to do? But be with me just knowing but just at the same time knowing that I got it

[00:27:08] Trusting yeah, just trust him. I got it. I got a question. Why I need you back for this one I need you back for this one. Sorry No, no, no, no

[00:27:19] I want I want us to answer Courtney's version Courtney's question in reverse. How do we let our girl know? She's the one for us Shit a wedding ring No How do we like, you know how we say how do we know when

[00:27:41] She's the one for us. How do we let them know that they're the one for us? How do we give that Oh verbally and just showing it like I Would tell my I would tell my significant other like yo Jackie see too much. Oh

[00:27:59] Just tell him like yo My heart longs for you when I'm not with you keep going man, no, I just just like in just showing that and showing Just putting actions to what I'm saying okay, I mean

[00:28:14] How do you how do you you could show you could show but so much but they'd have they'd have to know that themselves Is there one singular act or is there a group of acts that that confirm it? No, I don't think that's like

[00:28:27] Like action, what does love feel like? Yeah, I think it's but we just answered it on how do we know how we found? Right and we were able to answer that clearly and concise

[00:28:38] So, how can we be confused or now saying how do we let our partner know? Because and I'll tell you it's because we are speaking from perspective of receiving we are the receivers Oh reciprocity is also giving right. I understand that but we cannot Okay

[00:28:56] The one the feeling of the one is something that somebody else feels. Yeah, how can I tell how can I do something and be? Like oh, that's how she knows. She's the one

[00:29:05] It's your actions be my action my thought process could be like yo if I give her a hundred roses every Friday That's how I'm showing her that she's the one but it's not clicking that she's the one because I may have done that somebody else

[00:29:17] But the thing about I like that What if that's what she wants what if she has a mental checklist like la always talks about then that will send that that'll save you yes, but

[00:29:27] I think it's tricky because you can do and do and do and do and it still might not click you might be sitting I don't know. I'm body in this relationship right now Yes, and it's you might be missing one minute detail

[00:29:41] That's not making it click and it might not even be the way. How do you say? How do you oh, I said at the wedding ring, but it might not even be the wedding ring girls get proposed to and still Don't feel like

[00:29:51] Probably something's missing. It's the baby Seated up telling you well in my situation is is the baby. Oh, man What I will say is damn I lost my train of thought fuck Yeah, cuz I answered while thinking Okay, what did you just say Joe?

[00:30:17] I was talking about just the thought process of us doing and doing and doing for a woman and Thinking we cooking to them to the Michelle, please brother Well coach was basically I think what's your where you lost your point?

[00:30:31] I was you speak like you're doing all these things and she's not receiving them because you're doing stuff You've done it for somebody else It's just not clicking. Yeah, like it's me

[00:30:40] I think I've been in a position where I'm like, yo, I pay attention, you know things you say down notes Yeah, like this is working like oh

[00:30:52] And then you know you you think you in that bag you think you dare something in your pocket and then it's like Can I talk to you? As Men how do we not take it personal? Yes. I think that's one of my biggest issues

[00:31:17] This goes back to the teach me episode How do we not like you have this momentum where we're on a high think we cook here Paying attention to everything you

[00:31:28] There's this dress you saw you mentioned on pretty little things. I got a few ton away. I've got it for you I'm copped it is your favorite. I used to we was a target and you like this favorite ice cream Every time I'm in target, I copy

[00:31:41] You like acts of service by the time you get home dishes is clean everything You could just come on and then you fuck around and turn around and still say you not happy

[00:31:50] How do I not take this personal? How do I not feel like I bet I'm not the one for you Like yeah, I'm putting all this work I put no and you don't notice none of this shit. You could still turn around and say I'm not me

[00:32:00] How do I not take this person? Boy before you I think you just say not notice. I think you know, I think they do notice it's just not enough

[00:32:17] How can you not take that personally though, that's what I'm saying, how do you not take it personal removing emotions nigga I'm emotionally attached to this person I could see a way where you don't take Why is all this one here?

[00:32:33] I think that we should identify. Are you not happy in general? Are you not happy in their relationship because if I'm not happy in general, oh, this relationship is great But there's nothing that's gonna happen. That's gonna make me happy if I'm not happy

[00:32:46] You could do all the flowers you could do this you could do that dishes clean laundry all that But if I'm still got this dark cloud on me, then it really don't matter what happens. So

[00:32:57] It's tough to not take a personal but like I you know, like you keep saying I say be realistic. It's not you It's the situation so so you would hope that your partner has enough self-awareness to

[00:33:08] Identify that and communicate that because then for me I would think it's me You can assess and look around at what's going on If they're like, they're not in the job. They want they're not making them out of money

[00:33:21] They want they're not this they're not that then it can't really be you because you're doing what you're supposed to So it's not really a you thing. It's a like thing for them. So that's probably the first thing but it would okay

[00:33:33] So now I'm gonna ask you what if she's making it feel Like it is you but you I know it's not me. Your life is fucked up. Are you taking it out on me? But if I say that I noticed that you don't notice it. Hey, listen

[00:33:51] This just might not be the time for us to be together You might not know that I have to be the one one thing about quantity that I I I don't know if I admire

[00:34:00] I'm scared that he he's okay with this. He don't mind being the villain. Yeah at a very young age You don't mind being the bad guy Like you could tell the story and I would feel in down to the story. I was I'm Captain America

[00:34:13] It depends on perspective so yeah, it's just really perspective and either way I'm gonna sleep at night What young thugs say you call Gotta know what you okay with what you're not okay with what you're willing to put up with what you're not cuz

[00:34:34] If I'm not gonna put up with being blamed and all this again all the negatives of your life being terrible Mm-hmm You never been with somebody that's like every day is just like a dark cloud with them. Like yes, but okay

[00:34:50] Yes, I do. Yeah, I actually have I actually have and I Let them know I let them know yo you are miserable like Here we go There's this one particular Yeah, I can hear it now there's one particular there's one particular Queen Life like

[00:35:21] Let's say there's five sectors of life six sectors of life, right? Three of them could be going bad and three of them are manageable But because those three things are bad She's destroying all six and that's it was it'd be so draining cuz it's like I

[00:35:39] May not be able to help you with Let's say let's say is the job. Let's say she hates her job. Let's say she can't find a job The market is trash, right? How I Can't help you

[00:35:53] Find a job or I can help you find a job, but I can't get you a job But everything else I'm trying to cater to I'm trying to lighten the load in other sectors But you're so depressed about not having a job

[00:36:05] It's like yo, what the fuck is the point and your your depression is draining me And I'm not saying my life is the best but I don't need you. This is the one thing I don't need you to suck out of me Yo I'm serious

[00:36:24] Like you're not even doing that You're suck you're sucking my soul like you're I could feel myself just draining Yeah, but but I do Did my next breath is trying to breathe into you? But when you but when you breathe it's like

[00:36:43] What was it level one cell? Oh My god, bro Level one cell was so ugly. So skinny was so but He would suck the soul out of these niggas But still you know what I'm saying, right so it's like reciprocity I

[00:37:07] Can identify that you are struggling with life? But your struggle this on to bring me down to okay. Come on Who are you the bad guy to I'm still bad guy to her one person

[00:37:21] But if you saw anybody else in the world, they'll be like bro. What are you doing? Get out of there? Get him out of there. What are you doing? So also Come on But yeah, you know this perspective bro and also

[00:37:42] Yeah, me liking you is not enough they gotta be waiting more thing now We're talking about love establishing relation. Like this is your girl like your relationship Part of it, but yeah, I gotta come with a lot of other stuff

[00:37:57] I love you, but this shit is draining the life out of me. I mean what am I staying for? What? Just to stay just to say that I'm saying like what are we doing here?

[00:38:07] See in my mind right if I feel like you are the one back to Courtney's question What's a tough year for a lifetime compared to a lifetime? That's what be keeping me staying like this is this girl this woman this Queen

[00:38:22] And always will ask me or why do you what makes you stay? Why me and I always felt like I stayed as Long as I did because what is this tough year or these tough Tuesday two years of us figuring it out

[00:38:36] If we bout to spend the next 50 together We had 48 great years and two rough years or five rough years and 60 great year You know I'm saying what are these what maybe these rough? I stayed I stayed

[00:38:51] Because I thought that we were we were figuring it out to build on a long-term I Stayed because I've thought that these this This figuring it out was a part of the process of our long-term relationship so

[00:39:16] Maybe that wasn't maybe there wasn't enough good in those moments. Maybe I didn't have any good Maybe I wasn't maybe I I stopped liking you Maybe my love for you was fading but what kept me around was the idea of

[00:39:33] It all be better soon if we could overcome this we will finally figure each other out Know how we work with each other and then we will flourish So do you still have that thought about that person now at times often but

[00:39:52] The reciprocity we would have we would have to then figure out cuz Then Like when he does it your bank account, right You I like to see more deposits than withdrawals force I Like my bi-weekly checks

[00:40:12] But there are some times where I know I'm spending. I refuse to look at my balance because I know I'm OD I'll click if it go through Chase chase gonna let me know what I got $25 or less Notification we go

[00:40:29] I'm just being honest in life. I'm not listen I'm not too prideful to say in life. I've had my bank account in the negative That is some of the most Humbling but sad feeling like you avoid everything Like that is one app. I will not open

[00:40:51] Matter of fact, I'll take off all alerts So I don't get the alert next day that I was overdrawn because I was in the negative. I'm just being real That's my life though my relationships I felt like that like

[00:41:06] We were in the negative. You had nothing else to give I had nothing left to give But I still had the account because the money gonna come back cuz the money won't come back and me staying the love gonna come back

[00:41:16] That's what I that's why I stayed as long as I stayed with you Because I felt like the love was gonna come back But you got to work for it gotta get in check but then you're out of the balance

[00:41:29] The first thing you're gonna do will manage your money a little bit better So if we get back together, we got to manage this love a little bit better We can't do the reckless fighting we got to be more we gotta be conscious that

[00:41:42] Yeah, and value the dollar. We got do we do you value me? Do I value you? Do I feel value? You know I'm saying I can't recklessly now that I pay rent everything is right dude. You know what that value your dollar

[00:41:56] I can't say you I'm gonna drop out of college I'm gonna drop out of college. I'm gonna drop out of college. I'm gonna drop out of college

[00:42:02] Value your dollar. I can't say you I'm gonna drop a bag on this because you know why I gotta take care home So you can't make reckless decisions if your person is truly home if you got to take care home

[00:42:18] This nigga just went on nigga preach there's pretty for me This is a Luca Donchic variance like a first quarter performance. It's very insightful episode yeah, man, so I Don't have it all figured out, but I do know

[00:42:34] You know one thing is like you know when you go to class and there used to be the aim and the objective you knew What the objective was the lesson plan was how he was gonna get there, so I think the reciprocity of love is figuring out

[00:42:48] The lesson plan Executing it and the fair balance of what you're giving and what you're taking were you ever the one withdrawn from? From the account so to speak Taking more than I was giving her

[00:43:04] In any relationship hold on my ego will say no, but that may not be the reality so Maybe I was and I didn't know it but in affairs sometimes I May not have I may not have 80 All I may have is 20

[00:43:26] Don't feel like you giving me 80 you'll never get it back I want whoever to know that I'm the one you know how I'm gonna make my Girl feel like she's the one when she gets a fair Return on her investment

[00:43:44] So I love that she's invested in me and in the end She knows she's going to get a fair return on her investment, I'm a stock that's gonna do good

[00:43:58] That is how I help her feel like she's the one that you will get a fair return on your investment now You could buy a stock today for a penny Close your eyes ten years

[00:44:10] Boom some people don't play the stock game because it's not a fast flip her game stop window But game stops a big hit. Yeah What is three bad years of a hit to a lifetime of success? Damn, you gotta weather that storm

[00:44:27] So so sorry to cut you off. So would you say that to you? Um to my name? Reciprocity I can say it are you gonna hear it or you impatient enough even though you're gonna give it back

[00:44:44] That is how you know how they say the highest form of love is consideration I hate Twitter for that because that is the dumbest shit I've ever heard Because you could consider me all you want, but if you don't pick me

[00:44:59] Essentially what the fuck did you consider me for? Every put it to you like this you have the number one draft pick right There are 60 players you have to consider you only picked one What the fuck does the other 59 care that you considered them you didn't pick me

[00:45:17] I saw a feel about job applications at this point That shit just you see what I'm saying We just saw how is love the highest form of consideration if you never acted on it

[00:45:28] You never really pick you can consider your feelings all you want and still do the other thing Right, but it's the act of consideration That may be a higher form of love than just considering I could consider your feelings and still do my dickhead shit

[00:45:43] I've never cheated right or did the physical act of cheating on my significant other But you may consider your what the fuck will happen if I get caught. I don't want to lose her But this ass right here

[00:45:55] I'm telling yo, babe before I cheated on you. I considered how do you feel? I still did it That's the highest form of love I considered you Oh Act of consideration is me feeling like yo, damn. I will bust her ass, but my girl at home

[00:46:13] I'm not gonna roll home for that. That is the act of consideration Which I'd say cluster. Oh Stop tweeting that For me how I would show That my person is the one I think it's more for me. It's more daily stuff

[00:46:34] Such as like I have my own crib. So Having her have a place to where her stuff is like her designated place. Oh for Yeah, like my car she got all seat positioning in the car. So she oh when she get in her sentence Yeah

[00:46:51] That's the act of considering I've never really used consideration that much I use mindfulness. Mm-hmm That's that's me I'm very mindful of who I'm with so like I'll Try to think of things that they would want and do it before they get

[00:47:09] Very thoughtful thing or whatever they say just write it down and do let a later point things like that is how I show That's that and then what you were saying about which we said three years to

[00:47:23] Lifetime I think it depends on when those three years are it's the first three years For like two years in and it's like three rough years. All right, we already got some time. Yeah

[00:47:35] Yeah, bless you. So you know about to start off on like it can't be Gucci until month six then it's three years Yeah, not for that

[00:47:45] Cuz realistically like you're not gonna like the person you with or love the person you with if you're with them for a 10 plus You're gonna like Choose them every day Think that was a good word. I like that. Yeah, we gonna end it on quantities powerful

[00:48:00] They love they love the quantity here. They love the monster, but um Amazing episode. Thanks you guys for being here. Yeah facts guys looking dashing today quantity. Thanks for changing out for it per usual

[00:48:15] Bring your fits he telling the whole group track bring your fists in the game change one time sicko Who am I to judge I'm wearing fucking pump them shorts, but um, you already know it's Dom Peasley Donna camera

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[00:49:18] But still subscribe you don't even got to hit the notification because you already know we come out every Monday at 8 a.m Hey, I don't know you guys in social media. What's going on? I'm just some regular guy

[00:49:29] Just come here not to get fined Joe underscore got game Wavy in it and Sondra New York, you know, we be in it shout out to everybody that pulled it to Dykeman facts

[00:49:43] Facts it's always a good time for the big homie. Shout out to the guy that sells them empanadas boy get a good empanada and uh, and uh, And a nice juice cuz I know it's problem, but I'm not calling it that

[00:50:01] Well, they drink down some facts nobody's cracking my nut till next time I'm done god is good