Episode 269: Is It Worth It?

[00:00:00] Hey, how you doing today? You already know who it is ladies and gents. It's Don Peasley

[00:00:05] Alongside of LaShawn. I'm nobody's mother favorite lover today, but um, I'm blessed to be here. We're in New York City per usual

[00:00:11] Summertime is here. Mm-hmm

[00:00:14] Antics antics antics antics antics. Mm-hmm screws is now showing on the fellows in the building and the lady fellas in the building again

[00:00:21] Yeah, screw showing us the new parlays. So you really got a problem. Yeah, you into you gotta stop

[00:00:26] You gotta stop gambling bro. Call that number

[00:00:28] You gotta stop it's a hobby

[00:00:31] That's really in that's not

[00:00:36] How much the pot and cost you guys a lot and that's why I want to talk about this episode, right

[00:00:41] This episode is called. I hope it's worth it. Oh

[00:00:45] I

[00:00:48] Remember

[00:00:50] Working a San Diego flight

[00:00:52] Maybe a couple weeks ago

[00:00:54] And I was just in the house getting ready to serve

[00:00:59] and

[00:01:00] I asked the customer, you know, what would you like to drink and they spoke to me?

[00:01:04] And I don't know in that moment. I just said to myself

[00:01:10] Yo, I hope this life shit is worth it, bro

[00:01:13] Like I I don't know what they ordered. I literally dazed out and said yo like I got to make a bloody Mary

[00:01:19] I don't know what it was, but I know what I snapped back. I had to ask him. Well what you said?

[00:01:25] I'm sorry. Hey

[00:01:27] But like I

[00:01:29] Lately, I've been having a lot of these like yo, I hope is I hope all of this is worth it

[00:01:35] Like I hope whatever this course of life for me is

[00:01:39] Worth it because there are moments where I'd be like damn do God fuck with me

[00:01:44] Like I go to church. I pray I

[00:01:49] fasted

[00:01:52] Top and there's times in this economy, bro. We're

[00:01:56] 10% is a lot. I don't care like I got one of my checks. I'm maybe like

[00:02:04] 2750

[00:02:05] but

[00:02:09] 10% of that is

[00:02:10] $275 I

[00:02:12] Could use that extra 10% me tell you something for all the times as well

[00:02:17] Yeah, that's what I'm saying. And I'm like damn like I'll make it fall. You know

[00:02:23] I

[00:02:24] Thought we all we all pay you

[00:02:26] Remember homegirl how me couldn't get a $2 card God. I

[00:02:31] Got you a $2 gift days good thing and I'm like damn like

[00:02:35] It's 275 could go a long way and you know trusting God that like yo

[00:02:42] My time and in my faith and all of that is gonna be worth it

[00:02:45] But there are moments where like I as a believer I play a damn

[00:02:49] Worth it, bro. Like I hope like like me what I believe in

[00:02:55] But here's my logic. I'd rather believe it and they not be true. They're not to believe it and that should be true

[00:03:00] Oh, I get the heavens

[00:03:04] Yeah, we wait for you go back down

[00:03:06] but nah, but nah like

[00:03:09] These these last couple of months since February

[00:03:12] I've just been like oh damn like I hope I hope all of this shit is worth like and then

[00:03:18] Sometimes I'm be like damn we go through all of this shit just to die. I just I keep saying that show you bro

[00:03:23] I'm working so hard just a bill. What? Yeah for what? What am I doing this for bro?

[00:03:29] I don't want it to be as dark as my outfit but like

[00:03:32] this shit

[00:03:34] I'll be having like some real moments where I'm like, oh bro. What am I doing?

[00:03:37] All of this for like what is what is the purpose? What is this? Yeah was the purpose behind this like why am I feeling?

[00:03:44] Why am I going through this this part of my life? It's like a boy God

[00:03:47] Show me show me a reason why this is why this is happening

[00:03:50] Yeah

[00:03:52] It's a learning curve at this one. Mm-hmm. So I

[00:03:58] Just you know, I pushed through and then you have one day at a time and

[00:04:03] But how many of those quotes we got to use to get Bob? I don't know. I don't know but I feel like

[00:04:09] Whatever keeps us going

[00:04:11] You know and ironically enough

[00:04:15] Squirrels asked us how much this pod cost or whatever and

[00:04:20] I noticed I said something in the chat and none of y'all responded to it

[00:04:24] And I was like yo if this shit don't change my episode 300. I'm done. Oh, I responded. Yeah, you hit me on the side though

[00:04:32] Okay, we ain't talking about that in the chat and it's like

[00:04:37] for me, I

[00:04:38] only say that because

[00:04:41] Don's pitch to me was yo

[00:04:44] This shit could change your life as I get older. I don't know how much of this life

[00:04:51] I have to chance on this thing. We call what's a good guy?

[00:04:55] I understand people's and like the last episode I talked about, you know

[00:05:01] Casualties of love I lost the relationship because of this part

[00:05:06] flat out

[00:05:08] You know I'm saying it's like yo if this shit don't become worth it to me. I'm not doing it anymore

[00:05:14] So by episode 300 that's the rest of the in the first episode of Monday

[00:05:18] That's a good number to go out on we did something 300 times bro. 300 plus 300 plus

[00:05:26] Consistently outside of the break we would have hit 300 already

[00:05:31] So it's like yo for me is like and then I look at things at a high scale

[00:05:35] Like I don't look at I look at the field and I look at who's on top of the field

[00:05:40] Me and Joe talk all the time about yo these these two guys in the you what are you from the UK?

[00:05:45] I think I don't even know what it New Zealand. Yeah

[00:05:50] UK they from the UK

[00:05:51] They from the UK killing it and not and not to not to dismiss them

[00:05:56] well what they do, but the only thing I ever see them do is read tweets and

[00:06:02] That's and I promise you I'm not shitting on some other

[00:06:04] Chubby guy another one. No, I'm sorry. I'm gotta remember. I'm just kind of like

[00:06:15] And he sold out

[00:06:16] They doing it at a hot clip. You know, I'm saying I look at Joe Budden that nigga every time I see that nigga

[00:06:25] 81% retention rate

[00:06:27] That shit blows my mind because his podcast is three hours in three minutes

[00:06:32] On average and they listen to 81% of it

[00:06:36] That's a long ass and you got people talking to us like your why I podcast episodes is 36 minutes or whatever

[00:06:42] Why is it so short nigga? I don't listen to the whole shit. Like what am I doing this for?

[00:06:47] We did episodes. I was like two hours for us

[00:06:50] So sometimes so for me, it's like yo everything I look at now, it's like yo

[00:06:55] I hope whatever I'm doing like it better be worth it

[00:06:59] And it has to that's a little bit has to make sense. Yeah, it has to make sense I feel like I

[00:07:04] Put a lot on the table

[00:07:06] I put a lot of myself out there and if I don't feel like I'm reaping what I'm sowing

[00:07:11] I think it's time to put something in new soil

[00:07:14] Okay

[00:07:15] If I'm trying to grow a crop and it's dead soil and nothing is flourishing from it from my perspective

[00:07:21] Um, I need to I need to pivot where I'm planting my seeds

[00:07:25] In the non-sexual content, I'm being very serious. So for me, it's like I I think that's a fair gauge

[00:07:33] We had like 268 this probably was 268 if my math serves, correct

[00:07:39] From now to 300 a lot can change, you know, I'm saying and that's why I give the space to I

[00:07:44] That's my hope a lot can change a lot can change from now to 300

[00:07:49] You know I'm saying I remember I said I wanted to stop at 100 and then we went on a fucking run. That was crazy

[00:07:55] You know I'm saying if I stopped at a hundred we would have never did Eric Adams

[00:07:58] They never did all those all those things. That's a scary part. That's the scariest part

[00:08:02] I know it's like your bro. If you stop what you never know what gonna happen

[00:08:06] Yeah, like even with the arm. I forgot was it bevel or something some shit like that

[00:08:11] Mm-hmm, and then we stopped it was just like damn what we kept going. We probably had like a

[00:08:16] same shit

[00:08:20] If I leave

[00:08:24] Yo, we but um, but yeah, so it's kind of like

[00:08:30] You got to keep trying and you know what that made me look up that made me look up

[00:08:35] In sports. What was the highest batting average?

[00:08:39] Right the highest batting average of all time of all time and it was a guy

[00:08:45] Named Ty Cobb. I got a bit. Mm-hmm and his batting average was point three six six

[00:08:53] In a career for his career, right? Yeah, that was the highest career batting average

[00:08:58] right and

[00:09:00] You think of a career batted an average of point three six six

[00:09:05] anything three

[00:09:06] Six six it sounds low

[00:09:09] but for that to be the highest that means he kept swinging and

[00:09:13] I kind of used that as as a point of reference like yo, maybe you do got to keep swinging

[00:09:18] Average of point three six six means he has way more misses than he has hits

[00:09:23] But in the landscape of the sport that's been going on for decades. He still holds the highest average

[00:09:31] so

[00:09:33] Sometimes in life you may have more misses than hits

[00:09:36] But I guess you got to just focus on the hits that you do me absolutely

[00:09:40] So when do you at what point do you you change gears? There was a question

[00:09:44] When I don't feel like I'm reaping what I'm sowing

[00:09:47] And are you okay with starting from the bottom again? What's the bar? What's the bottom?

[00:09:51] Yeah, what's the bottom it depends on so one of what's a good guy was the bottom in a sense, right?

[00:09:56] Mm-hmm just speaking in those terms and now we're you know, we're approaching 300

[00:10:03] Stopping at 300. Let's say and going to do something else

[00:10:07] Whatever you're starting at or whatever your new you're going to turn to would be the bottom in a sense

[00:10:12] But what if what I'm already doing? Yeah, what if I'm happy there? Yeah

[00:10:17] That would that would then change the bottom

[00:10:19] Yeah, it would then changed the perspective of the bottom cuz like for example when we had the break from

[00:10:27] Podcasting that's because I was in flight attendant training, right? And then my schedule was inconsistent to maintain the pod, right?

[00:10:35] But so I knew it didn't make no sense to pod when we couldn't put out

[00:10:41] Episodes every Monday because my schedule was too too much. I thought about that

[00:10:47] You started that and then I started my job. Yeah

[00:10:51] The schedules got

[00:10:53] Schedules was that damn near conflating but now I now I have a little bit more seniority and I control my own schedule

[00:10:59] where I can you know maneuvering in in

[00:11:03] set things for the things that matter and prioritize things that matter right and

[00:11:12] That's another thing like Tom

[00:11:16] Tom my time is very limited now because of the situation that I'm in so

[00:11:24] right do

[00:11:28] Right do so I see where you're going I gotta work so now I

[00:11:34] The time that I do have where do I want to allocate that?

[00:11:37] Mm-hmm

[00:11:38] You know I'm saying there are certain things in life that I do want and I would have to divvy up my time

[00:11:45] And to have time I gotta maintain it. So I

[00:11:50] Just been in a space where everything that I do like I hope it's worth it or everything that I've done

[00:11:55] I hope it's worth it

[00:11:57] I think as a podcast listen, I've always heard you know the term that

[00:12:01] Podcasting isn't profitable right? Like I keep I hear that even though I know that there is money in it

[00:12:06] Mm-hmm, and there are people getting money. Mm-hmm

[00:12:09] What do y'all what do y'all thoughts on that since you guys are podcasters successful podcasters in my opinion?

[00:12:13] How do you guys feel about the term it not being profitable because I think it was if it was profitable

[00:12:19] Well, then it's a source of income

[00:12:23] But if you I so ironically

[00:12:29] What was said

[00:12:31] No, no, no, no, no

[00:12:33] only said

[00:12:37] Yeah, no, we're not giving none of that yeah energy but at the same time it's like oh

[00:12:42] Somebody made a slick comment. Oh, we barely funding ourselves, but we all funding ourselves

[00:12:47] Nobody has given us a dollar

[00:12:49] To podcast nobody has fronted us. We there's no back in everything that we do

[00:12:54] There's one show cable facts facts

[00:12:58] You know I'm saying all my shit is facts

[00:13:02] So so with that being said there is there is no I heart behind us. There's no black effect behind us

[00:13:08] There's no black effect behind us. There's no JBN. There's no there's none of that, right?

[00:13:12] There's people that same person that said that had that same back in and failed himself

[00:13:20] 12

[00:13:22] You know I'm saying so but in

[00:13:26] Reflecting is like okay

[00:13:28] Him saying oh they barely funding themselves, but we are funding ourselves

[00:13:31] We're not making money off of this. So what are we doing this for anything else outside of that? We wouldn't do it

[00:13:38] We wouldn't put our money. There's a reason why some of us take breaks on fan, dude

[00:13:43] We put it up mad money

[00:13:45] Then it turns it to a positive now now

[00:13:50] You realize how much you've wasted, you know spent you know trying to hit a parlay in my mind

[00:13:56] I'm okay with realizing yo this shit wasn't in the cards for us or maybe for me. I don't speak for me

[00:14:03] Maybe this isn't in the cards for me. I feel like there is a little luck

[00:14:06] There is something to being the chosen one multiple people try to do the same thing

[00:14:11] It's like sports careers anything music, whatever whatever source of entertainment multiple people try

[00:14:18] They say X amount of people try to go to the league, you know

[00:14:23] Some people go to college some people go to d1 some people go drafted

[00:14:28] Some people have a long career some people go to the Hall of Fame

[00:14:32] As you go up as you try to go up to the rankings the numbers get smaller

[00:14:37] And you just gotta I we gotta be I gotta be a realist in it

[00:14:41] You know

[00:14:41] How much of my story or my situations do I have to share to hope to make a change?

[00:14:47] I got a question another question a couple episodes you talked about, you know, yeah upbringing and stuff like that

[00:14:54] How much of how much of a dreamer would you consider yourself?

[00:14:58] Oh

[00:14:59] Like cuz you know, I always say God rewards relentless list, right?

[00:15:02] Yeah

[00:15:03] And I feel like the most successful people in the world are very relentless and they just keep attacking keep attacking keep attacking you talked

[00:15:08] About Ty Cobb how he kept on swinging

[00:15:11] do you think

[00:15:12] Not being able to see this as a reality as a child maybe or not having those thoughts

[00:15:19] Affect the way you even still see it to this day probably

[00:15:22] But I got a deal what's in front of me?

[00:15:24] I don't know. I don't feel like I got enough time to dream my life has been in a situation where I was forced to

[00:15:31] Survive what about you down dreaming don't really play a part in that repeat the question one time before so how much?

[00:15:38] How much of a dreamer would you consider yourself to be like do you see yourself as somebody who's like I?

[00:15:43] Um, I got these visions for myself that I'm gonna make happen regardless of what's the norm honestly

[00:15:50] I'm a big dreamer. Mm-hmm, but um

[00:15:54] Life has hit me in a way to the point where I got I gotta wake up bro. I can't dream

[00:15:59] I can't dream for too long, bro

[00:16:03] It sounds good like

[00:16:05] Hey, my man shout out to my man Israel like

[00:16:08] He'll always talk about the future. He's like, oh don't worry about the present right now down

[00:16:12] Don't worry about the presence. I mean keep doing what you're doing, but the future is more important

[00:16:15] But it's like I got a deal what's in front of me right now money

[00:16:17] I can't worry about I gotta fight the nigga down the block

[00:16:20] It is nigga right in front of me when I got to fight him first, right?

[00:16:22] It was like yeah that dream and shit is sound good, bro

[00:16:26] It's not even with even with the photography shit. Like I'm telling things. I'm like, oh fuck with this shit book

[00:16:31] But how long when I get like, huh? Huh?

[00:16:35] See yourself doing it man you just

[00:16:40] It's I

[00:16:41] Speak I speak life into everything I do with the pod with photography with anything when I did I speak life into it now

[00:16:48] But it was it's just like yo

[00:16:50] Something else gotta give bro. I got I keep telling myself you I might have to switch gears. I got to change gears

[00:16:55] It's like your boy this cars not working the moment

[00:16:56] I got a hop in this right quickly, but you only might be almost there

[00:17:00] You might just got a pivot just a little bit more

[00:17:02] Just tighten up a little bit more get you just a little bit more and good

[00:17:06] You know saying we got to focus the camera, right?

[00:17:08] Mmm, gotta take a second to get the right focus. All right talk to these niggas

[00:17:15] What if what if what if the 85 don't work like the 70 to

[00:17:21] 105 don't work out of that at how to 85 where I got a switch up

[00:17:26] Maybe we talk a lot about this

[00:17:30] Familiar comfortable to me and I'm like, you know listen like I

[00:17:34] Can I can kind of like beat myself up doing the same thing over and over again or I could say, you know

[00:17:39] This let's focus on doing less and getting more from it

[00:17:43] And like it's a hard transition like even like some conversations

[00:17:47] I'm having like getting into like ownership and like higher positions. Like I gotta change my vernacular

[00:17:52] I got to change the way I speak out of change the way I post and I'm like

[00:17:57] It's a it's a learning curve, you know, I mean there's some growing pains like a motherfucker

[00:18:01] But I know where I'm gonna be at and I know what's gonna come with this because I'm with abundance

[00:18:05] But you know, you have to keep focusing on it, you know, you got my keep dreaming but my thing about it is though

[00:18:10] With with all of that. Yeah

[00:18:13] Does that put you like faith in question? It do

[00:18:17] it do but I

[00:18:20] Don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to have a moment where you question your faith. I think that's the human in you. I

[00:18:26] Don't think it's you should be punished for questioning your faith

[00:18:31] That's a part of this shit, you know, I hope yo, I hope big homie upstairs. Hold me down

[00:18:37] You know I'm saying like I hope all of this

[00:18:41] Sacrifice that I feel like I'm doing doesn't go in vain. You know what? I always think about too

[00:18:46] Sorry cultural. I always think about like us doing this we doing whatever we doing. We've been we've been through some shit, bro

[00:18:52] Mm-hmm. We've been in accidents that niggas is surprised even walked out of bro. Like so what's like? Yeah, we here for a reason

[00:18:58] That's what my I'm okay. So I always put my best. Yeah, but what's the reason that's what that is that that is it to the

[00:19:04] Reason because this shit don't make sense

[00:19:08] I'm not gonna like don't make like bro. I'd like not to speak like that

[00:19:12] But it's like yo, um, I will say I'm a good person to people. I'm not the best person

[00:19:17] I'm a good person to people like certain shit to happen me like what I happen to me for like yeah

[00:19:20] That's like your boy. What even see you up there?

[00:19:22] You're my nigga you would let you go went through whatever you went through you going to whatever you going through

[00:19:26] I'm like, oh that's just should never happen to you

[00:19:27] But who are we to question what happened to you like that it needed to happen you for you get it

[00:19:31] I'm saying why I feel like life has been so challenging that even the good shit

[00:19:36] I can't even I don't even have time to enjoy it bro. Cuz you're still in survival mode

[00:19:40] Yeah, cuz it's like yo, I hope like for me like so for example, you know

[00:19:45] Today, I got the keys to my place Congrats

[00:19:54] He sent me a picture the keys I say yeah

[00:20:02] I'm gonna say it on the pot again. I'm proud of you

[00:20:04] Thank you

[00:20:05] And then when you told me this news money I literally was in my crib crying

[00:20:08] Like I fell to my knees when the Lord

[00:20:14] But I'm like when I walk through the door I'm like not yet

[00:20:18] You can get to all I had to go through just to this, you know, I'm saying so it was like I

[00:20:23] Guess I don't know. I'm not looking at it from the like I'm grateful. Don't get me wrong

[00:20:27] I'm grateful, but it's like damn why I had to be this way

[00:20:31] You know I'm saying like why they had to go through this like I literally was told like

[00:20:38] Um, what was what was the quote? I wanna I want to quote because

[00:20:44] I'm not in somebody's life. I'm no longer their concern. Mm-hmm, and it's like damn. That's that's how you giving it up

[00:20:51] so

[00:20:52] To get to this moment where you think the people that you should be sharing this moment with you not and it's like I bet

[00:21:00] Cool, but so that's that's feeling sucks

[00:21:02] It does but it's like I don't got time to really focus on that

[00:21:07] I gotta how my furnish this and that's how I'm like

[00:21:11] I said, I'm looking at my work schedule and that's what you know how to be like don't make money

[00:21:16] Let me tell you something the money make you not even that you know how that you know

[00:21:21] Like within our pair group, there's this new notion that you gotta make a honey K

[00:21:28] Let me be the first to say

[00:21:31] Honeykki is not a honey cake

[00:21:33] Like you can make a honey cake, but it don't feel like you got a honey cake

[00:21:39] Trust me. I

[00:21:41] know I

[00:21:43] Strive to get there like I strut like I like I said this episode. I hope it's worth it all I've been

[00:21:49] Hearing and seeing is you'll bring home a honey cake bring home a honey cake bring home a honey cake

[00:21:54] Honey cake gonna get you this honey cake rent in New York is 40 times the rent

[00:21:58] So, you know what you got to do if your rent is whatever whatever you gotta make a honey cake. Oh

[00:22:02] Cool touch the honey cake

[00:22:05] Can I get a dollar? Yeah sure, but that shit don't feel worthy

[00:22:10] like

[00:22:12] Look at all this shit comes with all that it come with

[00:22:15] exhaustion

[00:22:16] That do no time. That's and that's that's enough

[00:22:24] Bro

[00:22:25] And then and then what I that now what I realized okay, you got to make a honey cake cool

[00:22:30] They talked about a honey cake. No nigga. You got to make a honey cake after taxes

[00:22:35] So now it's a new challenge. It's like okay. I made a honey cake cool now

[00:22:41] After taxes is whatever whatever right then I gotta pay

[00:22:46] Back because of whatever business whatever whatever from now, I'm getting penalized for making this money

[00:22:51] Penalized making money tell me to make in this country make money. All right, so in this country, I'm making money

[00:22:57] I gotta pay you for making money

[00:22:59] So now you realize okay a honey cake is this but what you take home is that so now I gotta take home a honey cake

[00:23:07] Nigga, I'm not gonna bust my ass for this honey cake you want for the rest of my life. Do you want it?

[00:23:12] Yeah, yeah, I want it

[00:23:14] Appreciated

[00:23:15] I'm saying what we put what we put our stock in there with the value of whatever we putting it in

[00:23:21] We just got to remember

[00:23:23] The worth of it, you know I'm saying and I feel like in this new space

[00:23:28] That I'm in everything has I have to see the true worth in it

[00:23:33] Or person or whatever whatever the thing is. It gotta be worth it to me

[00:23:37] And there's not a lot of things that I feel is

[00:23:42] Worthy, you know, it's crazy. I

[00:23:45] Like we like LA always says he doesn't tell me the name of these episodes like other day. I was littering the car

[00:23:50] No music going I'm thinking this to myself like your brothers is worth it like

[00:23:54] Wednesday I went out the Thursday. I went out if you know me as of late you outside bro. I'm outside bro

[00:24:01] Like I'm green exit hand will shout to rep bro any events true. So me go to

[00:24:09] First thing I make sense, bro

[00:24:11] Nigga before I before I give up. I'm what I'm not gonna try. I'm gonna make something happen

[00:24:15] Make some shake bro

[00:24:16] Bro to the point where it's like yo, if you don't shake in the next few weeks or months they come out of here, bro

[00:24:22] Nigga, I'm dead. I'm out of here bro. Like when I was looking for a spot. I was like, oh should I leave New York?

[00:24:28] niggas

[00:24:29] Cuz I was like yo ain't shit here. No offense. No. Yeah, I love it. I love yeah

[00:24:35] Yeah facts, but I'm like yo, bro ain't no ain't no sense of family ain't no relationship here

[00:24:40] So it was like yo, let's let me see. I

[00:24:43] For some reason

[00:24:45] Tick-tock not

[00:24:47] We outside tick-tock tick-tock is advertising Houston homes out of control to me and what I could do with my dollar

[00:24:56] Oh, they're out there. Well 12 12 54 six bedrooms for $200

[00:25:05] I want to understand this bro

[00:25:07] Niggas pay X amount in New York, bro. You can literally rent a crib in Atlanta for 1800 to 1500

[00:25:15] four bedrooms a

[00:25:17] Downstairs a big-ass yard. I rather Maryland

[00:25:20] I

[00:25:34] Make I'm working a flight. I'm working a flight. I swear. I swear my my

[00:25:40] There was bad weather

[00:25:42] Where was I supposed to be going Houston? No, no, no, no, no. No, I actually flew through that the other day

[00:25:47] Not Phoenix, you know, I was supposed is loaded

[00:25:51] I was supposed to be going to BDL a BDL is Connecticut

[00:25:56] Right, but it was bad weather. You know where they rerouted me to DC or other day

[00:26:03] You stopped in Chocolate City

[00:26:05] nice thing I

[00:26:07] in that being in DC for that long because I was there for I

[00:26:13] Would say 26 hours, I would have moved in

[00:26:18] Yeah

[00:26:20] That's the I was in DC on the greatest money I was in DC for 26 hours, bro

[00:26:27] and up and I was like

[00:26:29] Now I don't do it. It ain't worth it. It is nah, trust me, bro. Yeah, it's not worth it

[00:26:35] It's not worth that. I was gonna go against my my moral code and be like

[00:26:40] Let me see what's the worst that could happen so big no not even nah, I just I just I

[00:26:47] Literally had to really of that like I'm in this thing. I

[00:26:50] Purpose how did I get here? I purposely avoid DC

[00:26:54] one of the best layovers in in

[00:26:57] I can't say where the layover is cuz that give me fire, but it's one of the best hotels in

[00:27:03] in that area

[00:27:06] No, I don't do it

[00:27:08] Don't do it. It's not worth it. Whatever even if it goes the way you think it could go

[00:27:14] It's not worth it and finding out that it is is really up like that. It's not worth it neither

[00:27:20] So I just stayed there

[00:27:22] order some food

[00:27:25] And then do it and then do it

[00:27:27] Cuz she's like

[00:27:29] Like bad decisions. Yeah, nah, but I can't I can't but that's the thing

[00:27:33] I can't afford another bad decision bro when I get when you get to this certain age

[00:27:38] Every decision matters. I'm into everything because there's this consequence

[00:27:43] I know consequences have like a bad narrative that consequences mean bad

[00:27:48] But there are some good consequences to your actions too

[00:27:50] But everything has a consequence and I hold I think about the consequences deeply bro, I can't afford a bad

[00:27:57] I can't afford no more

[00:28:00] Mishaps or if I'm off no more. No, no more crazy fuck-ups. I can't yeah

[00:28:04] I can't afford another fuck up with a person with a place with a job at a time

[00:28:09] No more like it was a fuck up that that I didn't really cause

[00:28:13] I

[00:28:16] Actually did this shit to myself. All right now I want to do the best at controlling what I could control

[00:28:21] I don't want to take no more

[00:28:24] emotional risk for the sake of

[00:28:27] This is how I feel

[00:28:28] Fuck how I feel logic logic. Yeah, I don't got time to work off my emotions. No more logical feelings, bro

[00:28:35] real shit

[00:28:38] Well, yeah, I just I like you said I just hope it's all worth it like that's with anything I do brother like

[00:28:44] Like I keep talking. I keep telling I keep telling squirrels. I keep telling you

[00:28:47] Bro, when I moved back here, but I feel like the hustle just kicked right back in. I'm just like I'm I'm burnt out bro

[00:28:53] Mmm, that's when people. Oh, did you do this for me? Like edit? Did you edit this me? I'm like, bro

[00:28:57] Little do you know bro? I'm literally literally fighting to edit these fucking photos of these videos. That's why but I'm that's what niggas like

[00:29:03] Oh, you paying kojo now. I said, yeah, but I'm fucking exhausted nigga. Yeah, I'm fighting for my life

[00:29:07] and it's like yo, like

[00:29:10] They even looking at your computer the day I feel you

[00:29:15] Nigga I go for everything when I dump that shit. I put that shit. I'm not looking at that shit

[00:29:20] But yeah, but I'm tired of being a survivor mode I'm on autopilot it's like bro

[00:29:28] Yeah, my life has just been on autopilot where I don't know pun intended

[00:29:32] I just don't even get to could like enjoy the cruising altitude of life

[00:29:37] Like niggas be right. I'll be there should just be full of turbulence. That's what LA be right me

[00:29:42] He'd be hit me like bro. You're not writing none of these chats. I'm like, bro. I

[00:29:46] Don't fight talking like I'm niggas be it even playing video games money. I was playing video games like an hour

[00:29:53] I'm like, bro. I usually play video games mad long. I'm like, bro. I'm got the energy to do this, bro

[00:29:56] Yeah, I'm TV's beyond my name

[00:30:00] Tired bro, so yeah, that's oh, that's that's basically what I what I was feeling for this episode

[00:30:07] I literally said I was going through the motions and I just I

[00:30:12] Looked at her. I'm like and I hope this shit worked it, bro

[00:30:18] And that's it went about went about in the back and just the plane give you time to really think bro

[00:30:23] Well, you when you want a plane full of turbulence? I enjoy that shit

[00:30:28] That shit really gives me time the process that's why I write down most of these episodes as a late on the plane

[00:30:36] That's where all my ideas come from on the plane. You know, it's crazy actually do like turbulence. Oh, so let me go to sleep

[00:30:43] It's weird but random fact by my way, yeah the turbulence the turbulence in my life that shit shit is like rise

[00:30:49] Oh, it's like I may like it for work. I may like it for work because that means

[00:30:54] I'm sitting down for my safety and I'm still getting paid

[00:30:59] But in my life now, I mean I need a little bit more cruising altitude in life

[00:31:03] Yeah, I'm tired of like a roller coaster feel I'm good

[00:31:06] Yeah, but then I don't even know if if I can enjoy the ups anymore

[00:31:12] Because I'm so worried about preventing the downs that I don't even realize when I'm up

[00:31:18] Somebody everybody is like yo mad

[00:31:21] Congratulations and it's like yo, thanks, but to what extent to what?

[00:31:26] You do that bro

[00:31:32] I congratulate the nigga. That's why niggas like, you know emotional

[00:31:36] I was just that day when he taught that same thing when he sent me that message

[00:31:39] Because I'm sitting in my friend new crib and my other friend just said I just got my I was elated

[00:31:45] Elated

[00:31:46] I'm not letting my friends not enjoy that shit. No, no, but like yeah

[00:31:52] Congratulations boys like yo, bro. Was it worth all that should have to go through that's yes. It was bro

[00:31:57] It sounds good, bro. We still but you still going through this in your mind

[00:32:00] I got the combo we can have off but yeah

[00:32:03] Sorry before you did what you were about to say cuz I could feel I could feel the I could see

[00:32:11] Well, I'm here with Kojo

[00:32:13] I think that whatever you had to go through is worth it

[00:32:15] Regardless of whatever it is that you had to go to you probably wouldn't air

[00:32:19] You probably wouldn't have got to where you were if you didn't go they gotta be another route

[00:32:23] I'm tired. It don't gotta be so it don't gotta be tough

[00:32:28] I don't feel like life gotta be

[00:32:32] I gotta go through the mud to get here. Come on fucking them up

[00:32:37] I mean, it's not easy to get there

[00:32:40] Therefore you cut some things come with it this entrepreneur stuff. It's way more lows than it is highs, but

[00:32:47] Right that comes with it

[00:32:49] And while if I look at if I'm looking at if I'm looking at who I want to be or how much money I want

[00:32:53] To have type of life. I want to live

[00:32:55] Bro, it's it's I have to be real myself right now. There's no there. I have to get to it. There's no rest

[00:33:01] There's no like you said once you move back to New York. You felt it. Well, that's it every day living in New York

[00:33:06] so it's like

[00:33:07] You gotta find your own you gotta find your peace within the chaos

[00:33:12] So you get to where you need to get to and then but boy

[00:33:15] I've been feeling like that dog and that mean with the fire bro for so long. I'm tired of that shit, bro

[00:33:20] Listen, it's always darks before dawn

[00:33:24] With that with that let me shout at you

[00:33:29] Appreciate I appreciate you. Oh, it's preparing for that next level bro. You don't know it yet

[00:33:34] But you'll see it

[00:33:35] Who said I want to go to this next level you did

[00:33:43] You could have sat your ass at work and said I'm not doing this I'm never gonna do this

[00:33:47] I'm gonna just work this job

[00:33:49] Have a family do this I'm not bro

[00:33:51] You decided to make a choice that was gonna be doesn't put your life on a different path, bro

[00:33:56] He chadys out of the chase the unknown bro. This shit's unknown my nigga y'all are both Nipsey fans

[00:34:01] He said something once before he said on what you asked for. It's supposed to feel like this

[00:34:05] You're supposed to feel it's supposed to feel like you being stressed

[00:34:10] Yeah

[00:34:12] Stress. Yes, I think about that a lot of times like what am I asking for and what comes with what I'm asking for?

[00:34:17] Am I asking for too much? That's something I gotta be real myself about and if it is too much

[00:34:22] I'm done, but if it's I want to keep doing it

[00:34:25] I asked God for strength so many times boy just for him to put me through shit to make me stronger boy

[00:34:31] That's the only way you get stronger brother lift that weight

[00:34:35] Don pounds or only fans

[00:34:47] Again congratulations. I love you, man. Really proud of you. Look at me my eyes hold my hand. I'm proud of you

[00:34:51] I love you so much

[00:34:54] Yeah, the crib nice though, I'm telling

[00:35:01] It's a nice day with LA at the new pad

[00:35:13] Don the camera guy Dom Peasley you can follow me at stay focused la on Instagram and Twitter

[00:35:18] Don't forget to Like comment and subscribe all things. What's a good guy coming out every Monday at 8 a.m

[00:35:22] Or what's a good guy calm?

[00:35:25] All DSPs and of course you can watch us on YouTube

[00:35:28] Why would you not like to see these gorgeous dashing faces like we got LA here

[00:35:33] Well the week I like him here with a teddy on you know, you know Joe's here Joe underscore got game

[00:35:39] I think is hey wavy in it

[00:35:41] It's really young. It's really I know I really enjoyed making that squiggly on

[00:35:47] Like I made that truth picture

[00:35:50] James a Patrick shit, you know, listen man

[00:35:52] Thanks guys coming to the first golden hour. The next one is gonna be next week. Yeah, Juneteenth weekend

[00:35:58] Yeah, we outside baby. Yeah, my skin gonna be flourishing. I might be brown skin by there

[00:36:03] Oh, you know, I'm gonna be inside cuz I'm enjoy this crib

[00:36:07] You should come outside or find something to enjoy with possibly to make a home with you know, what's girl?

[00:36:12] I like that. I like that

[00:36:15] Wanna hear a joke before we leave here gosh sometimes home is a person

[00:36:19] So next time