Episode 261: Mask Off

[00:00:00] ,

[00:00:16] I don't know what to say this day.

[00:00:17] No one's saying it, but I'm pleased.

[00:00:18] Yes, please.

[00:00:19] I got to say that.

[00:00:22] Main nigga.

[00:00:23] Main man.

[00:00:24] You're very know what it is.

[00:00:25] You're very know what it is my people.

[00:00:27] It's your favorite dashing young gentleman, Dom Peas.

[00:00:30] Okay, alongside of LaShore.

[00:00:32] Another beautiful day and why you see God

[00:00:34] is shining his light on me

[00:00:35] and I cannot be more grateful.

[00:00:37] Say another day.

[00:00:38] Mm-hmm.

[00:00:39] Oh, I'm not thinking for that

[00:00:41] and I thank you for showing up here today,

[00:00:43] showing up for yourself as well.

[00:00:45] Mr. Shawnee, what's up?

[00:00:47] Yes, baby.

[00:00:49] I'm doing well.

[00:00:50] I'm doing well.

[00:00:51] Parting with Sean Coums.

[00:00:55] I like the way you do that, daddy.

[00:00:58] Don't be down, why you never party with me.

[00:01:00] No, we don't.

[00:01:02] That was the young party, but then they go

[00:01:04] with stutterin' nigga.

[00:01:06] Nigga Hayam shaking like a stripper, nigga.

[00:01:09] Nigga Norrie just looking at the nigga.

[00:01:10] Nigga was more scared of Fab that Emily's father.

[00:01:13] It ragey.

[00:01:14] Oh.

[00:01:15] That's how it's supposed to be.

[00:01:20] No, but everything is good.

[00:01:23] I can't complain man.

[00:01:24] I can't complain.

[00:01:25] Things are going well.

[00:01:26] Things are beautiful.

[00:01:28] You know, I feel like because we pre-recorded,

[00:01:31] I have to speak it.

[00:01:32] So when it comes out by the time this episode comes out

[00:01:35] everything is going great and everything is wonderful.

[00:01:37] And then in God's, you know?

[00:01:39] You know?

[00:01:40] God's to be glory.

[00:01:42] Hold on, I'm about to text Kwanne.

[00:01:44] We recorded it because he stepped out.

[00:01:46] He's probably blue love and telling his girl

[00:01:48] how much he loved him.

[00:01:49] Yeah, but at one point you got to just stop bullying that young

[00:01:52] brother.

[00:01:53] I'm not bullying, I'm just happy here.

[00:01:54] Love, we love love.

[00:01:55] Boundaries, he didn't tell you that he want people

[00:01:56] to know that.

[00:02:00] The boundaries.

[00:02:01] You're right, you're right.

[00:02:02] Right.

[00:02:03] Kwanne goes say I was, when Kwanne said

[00:02:05] I was sassy with him.

[00:02:07] Yes, he was sassy.

[00:02:08] He was mad, snappy with him.

[00:02:10] Okay, I'm sorry, Dake Kwanne.

[00:02:11] Sorry.

[00:02:12] So it's just, I mean, I mean people should know Kwanne's

[00:02:16] name by now, no?

[00:02:17] Because my name is Donald and Donald.

[00:02:19] You're right.

[00:02:19] You're right.

[00:02:20] But but not everything is great.

[00:02:24] Bless to be here.

[00:02:25] Another recording, another 3P.

[00:02:27] You know?

[00:02:30] This episode though, I thought of it on the way here.

[00:02:33] Like generally thought about it on the way here, right?

[00:02:37] There you go.

[00:02:38] Are you masking anything?

[00:02:41] What mask are you wearing right now, bro?

[00:02:45] I'm wearing a happy mask.

[00:02:47] But what's behind the mask?

[00:02:49] Tears.

[00:02:51] Damn.

[00:02:52] I got a dog in it.

[00:02:53] Yeah, actually.

[00:02:54] Yeah, actually.

[00:02:55] Um, okay.

[00:02:57] I could tell.

[00:02:59] Yeah, I mean, I'm pretty sure you could tell.

[00:03:00] Yeah, I could tell.

[00:03:01] I could tell.

[00:03:03] You know what I call this mask and it's kind of dark,

[00:03:05] but it's like a, I've seen him,

[00:03:07] like I've seen a few of his interviews, Robin Williams.

[00:03:10] Okay.

[00:03:11] Elaborate.

[00:03:13] One thing that he always say, he said, yo,

[00:03:15] as long as I'm making people happy, I'm good.

[00:03:18] Making people laugh, I'm good.

[00:03:19] And I was just like, okay.

[00:03:20] But they come, did he?

[00:03:21] That's what I said.

[00:03:22] It's so trans.

[00:03:23] Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[00:03:25] That's sad because if that type of thinking

[00:03:28] he's just pouring into everybody else.

[00:03:30] And he's knowing he's a person who's a person.

[00:03:32] Yeah, that's is that the mask that you have?

[00:03:34] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:03:35] That's the.

[00:03:36] We had to cut the camera so far.

[00:03:37] Yeah, I'm just, yeah.

[00:03:38] Had a nice confession.

[00:03:39] I'll be right next to Sabrina.

[00:03:41] Okay, this remote.

[00:03:42] Okay, okay.

[00:03:44] Um, mask you are.

[00:03:48] I think I'm wearing my face.

[00:03:51] Meaning I am who I am right now.

[00:03:53] But I, for last year I was, I was masking a lot.

[00:03:58] Like a lot.

[00:03:58] And I, and for a while it just felt so heavy.

[00:04:03] I got tired of wearing a mask and it was just a day where

[00:04:07] I just broke down.

[00:04:08] I think we was in church.

[00:04:10] Yeah, and I just broke like.

[00:04:13] Let's start hugging a little bit.

[00:04:14] Yeah, I think it was just the music.

[00:04:15] It's something I'm just, it's just one word.

[00:04:18] Yeah, brother, the piano be going crazy.

[00:04:20] That's it.

[00:04:21] That's right.

[00:04:22] Well, he started talking to several little people.

[00:04:23] Yeah, there you go.

[00:04:24] There you go.

[00:04:26] Yeah, but um, I just broke down, bro.

[00:04:31] I just broke down and I just knew that.

[00:04:34] Half of the weight that I was carrying was stuff

[00:04:37] that I was pretending wasn't going on.

[00:04:40] And um, so like I know I said before, like my job forces me to be

[00:04:46] on stage and wear a mask.

[00:04:48] But in life, you know, you got to think everybody that you

[00:04:51] walk past may have some sort of mask.

[00:04:54] Uh-huh.

[00:04:55] Um, how often do you get to take your mask off?

[00:05:00] Um,

[00:05:04] often it depends when I'm around.

[00:05:06] Yeah.

[00:05:07] Because as much as we talk about, oh, don't be much all the time.

[00:05:10] It's like you're some people don't need to know that side of you yet.

[00:05:13] That's true.

[00:05:14] That is a healthy boundary.

[00:05:15] You have to say like, oh, you can't show that side of you as if

[00:05:17] yeah, because they don't really know you don't want that to be

[00:05:19] their first impression of you.

[00:05:21] Mm-hmm.

[00:05:22] So um, yeah, picking shoes though.

[00:05:25] If you're around, yeah, yeah, I'll see it.

[00:05:26] When I'm first walking in, yeah, I always see it.

[00:05:29] So there's no mask that you can wear right now that I, that is the

[00:05:32] first human she see, but I was like, I'm on my people.

[00:05:36] That could display what you're hiding.

[00:05:38] I kind of because it's since your mood.

[00:05:40] Yeah.

[00:05:40] That's why I got being in a press.

[00:05:41] I feel like I try to make that very clear though.

[00:05:43] Yeah.

[00:05:44] What about saying it?

[00:05:46] You're not?

[00:05:46] No, no, I try to make it clear that I'm just not in it today.

[00:05:49] But you can just, you could literally always tell.

[00:05:51] Yeah.

[00:05:52] When I'm in a good mood, you are, I'm always making that first

[00:05:54] thing I do is I'm making a joke.

[00:05:55] Yeah.

[00:05:56] For me, I think now, um, I'm vocal.

[00:06:01] I'm vocal about it.

[00:06:02] Y'all, I'm not feeling myself.

[00:06:03] Y'all not in a good mood.

[00:06:05] So I don't have to wear the mask.

[00:06:07] I feel like some of the heavier burden is having to wear the mask.

[00:06:12] Does your guy do it?

[00:06:13] Yeah, you got a super time.

[00:06:14] I kind of seek places where I don't have to wear it.

[00:06:19] So like work, if I don't want to wear it, mental health day.

[00:06:23] Not going.

[00:06:24] Because I just don't want to.

[00:06:26] I don't want to.

[00:06:28] Oh, that's a difficult part about it.

[00:06:30] See, that's difficult part about our jobs.

[00:06:32] You could just do that.

[00:06:33] Me, it's like, I got to show up and it's like, I'm going to have a job

[00:06:37] like I'm not too fond of but I'm grateful to have one.

[00:06:40] So it's like me being in that mood or not having that mask on.

[00:06:46] I'll be wanting to, I might not say post.

[00:06:49] I want to rip everybody and fucking New asshole, bro.

[00:06:53] Fuck you, I mean the stupid shit for us.

[00:06:55] Like I want to say something like that.

[00:06:56] So I have to.

[00:06:58] But that goes towards you.

[00:07:00] You also finding a better job so you don't have to wait.

[00:07:05] It's nice.

[00:07:06] And I think that's that goes to the point I was trying to make like

[00:07:09] finding places where you don't have to wear it.

[00:07:11] Obviously, you got to wear one, right?

[00:07:14] For certain things, you know, you don't need everybody in your business.

[00:07:16] You don't need everybody in your face.

[00:07:18] But the constant need of wearing a mask pretending to be okay

[00:07:23] or pretending to be someone you're not.

[00:07:25] There's a lot of people I know that's being someone they're not.

[00:07:29] And maybe that's because they're not okay with who they are

[00:07:33] or the acceptance of others, they got to pretend to keep something up.

[00:07:38] You know, I just don't want to be in spaces where I constantly have to wear

[00:07:42] a mask at all.

[00:07:45] I just want to be comfortable in the space that I am and realize

[00:07:50] like even if it's not the best, I'm working on improving it.

[00:07:53] No thing is though, even with like being out with squirrels and row.

[00:07:58] Oh yeah, I'm in certain rooms with this like,

[00:08:01] I don't want to pretend to be somebody I'm not because if you don't

[00:08:05] fuck with this person right here, bro, I don't give a fuck you.

[00:08:08] Like literally fuck you, bro.

[00:08:09] First impression.

[00:08:10] It's like, you're gonna fuck you, bro.

[00:08:12] I'm not going to put more effort into be somebody I'm not.

[00:08:15] Didn't just being chill and just being myself.

[00:08:17] Like it's literally pointless.

[00:08:19] So yeah, it all depends though what I'm going through.

[00:08:25] And just my mental health altogether.

[00:08:26] So for me, like being in spaces, there was a point of time

[00:08:30] where our squirrels, for example, would put me in rooms.

[00:08:36] I'd be like, what did I do to be in this room?

[00:08:40] You know, I don't feel like I deserved to be in this room.

[00:08:45] Professor Central, you was having a song.

[00:08:46] Maybe, maybe, you know, these are new.

[00:08:48] I have to check with my therapist because people

[00:08:50] we throwing out these syndrome issues without diagnosis.

[00:08:53] But it could be, it could be, I'm not here to, I received that.

[00:08:58] I received that.

[00:08:59] Oh, I appreciate that.

[00:09:00] That's a good thing.

[00:09:01] It's really doing the work, man.

[00:09:03] But at the same time, I just, I would just, you could tell

[00:09:11] by my face, by my body language that I don't feel like I belong.

[00:09:15] Because I'm like, it squirrels walk the way I'm just like,

[00:09:18] I ain't know how to maneuver through room, you know?

[00:09:22] And now I'm kind of comfortable with just being myself

[00:09:26] or even felt like myself was scared people away.

[00:09:30] Because I may not be the most approachable or welcoming.

[00:09:35] You know, I've been deemed stush.

[00:09:39] Yes, Dean, because I'm not stush.

[00:09:41] I'm just in my shell, I'm not safe.

[00:09:44] Is he when you are outside of your own your phone?

[00:09:46] So people, like, oh, does he want to be here?

[00:09:48] That too.

[00:09:49] All the time having a great time.

[00:09:50] Being socially present, you know, not.

[00:09:52] But I would do that to keep people away.

[00:09:56] Like the mask I would wear is not one of someone who looked

[00:10:00] like they were enjoying themselves.

[00:10:02] But I would have a mask going to keep people away.

[00:10:05] I would purposely have an unapproachable mask

[00:10:08] because I didn't, I was socially uncomfortable.

[00:10:10] So if I look like I'm, if I look like I'm me,

[00:10:13] that's only because I'm uncomfortable here.

[00:10:15] So to protect, protect myself from feeling more uncomfortable,

[00:10:20] it would prevent people from, hey, what's up?

[00:10:22] You're the show from, oh, he looks unapproachable.

[00:10:25] So it stops me from having conversation

[00:10:27] and feeling uncomfortable and awkward,

[00:10:30] or while giving off the mask that I'm just being me.

[00:10:33] You know what I just thought about just now?

[00:10:35] Like sometimes when I go out, I feel like I just don't,

[00:10:37] like I just sit in a corner and chill.

[00:10:40] But then I end up drinking

[00:10:41] and that makes me become that social person.

[00:10:43] Like damn, do I, if I'm in a liquor, ain't no tell him.

[00:10:47] No, no.

[00:10:48] Oh, boy.

[00:10:49] No.

[00:10:50] Sick of.

[00:10:52] Now what I'm thinking about that leg is that

[00:10:55] is that a way to just put another mask on though?

[00:10:59] It depends.

[00:11:01] It depends because through you feel like

[00:11:02] you could be social without a drink?

[00:11:04] Yeah, I do, but certain, certain,

[00:11:06] certain rooms is like, I need a drink to be in here.

[00:11:10] Mm.

[00:11:11] Mm.

[00:11:13] What mask you ever had on while dating?

[00:11:17] I had it together.

[00:11:18] Oh, man.

[00:11:20] Deep down he was broken.

[00:11:22] Pull up.

[00:11:23] Ain't broke.

[00:11:24] Toa.

[00:11:25] Toa.

[00:11:26] Negative half fingernails and water for dinner.

[00:11:28] I'm joking, don't forget.

[00:11:31] Fingertails for dinner is that's toa.

[00:11:34] That's toa.

[00:11:35] That's for it.

[00:11:37] But on a budget that shouldn't go with girls.

[00:11:39] Catch up.

[00:11:40] Tell you something, boy.

[00:11:42] But um, okay.

[00:11:45] Mm-hmm.

[00:11:46] Was it, okay?

[00:11:48] When did you realize that it was okay

[00:11:52] to take that mask off?

[00:11:54] When I was comfortable around that person.

[00:11:56] But when you were already comfortable?

[00:11:58] To an extent.

[00:12:00] Mm.

[00:12:01] To an extent.

[00:12:02] To an extent.

[00:12:03] When you started showing like,

[00:12:06] and I feel like a few people been through it

[00:12:08] was like, yo, I don't know.

[00:12:10] Spend some bread on her.

[00:12:12] We go on spend some bread.

[00:12:13] Go out, go out.

[00:12:14] I ain't fucking out a little bit.

[00:12:16] I think it's going to go to a little break.

[00:12:17] Yeah, I think it's going to have to do the guy at the scale back.

[00:12:19] But you already showed her a service side.

[00:12:22] And I hold it like, damn.

[00:12:23] I'm like, nigga, nigga, I'm fucked up now.

[00:12:25] Oh, now we can't do it this week, babe.

[00:12:27] Oh, well, why we can't do that?

[00:12:28] Mm-hmm.

[00:12:29] You got to know you got to have that conversation.

[00:12:30] That's another tough conversation you're going to have.

[00:12:32] Is that so?

[00:12:33] That mask is tough.

[00:12:35] That's a tough one.

[00:12:36] I actually felt like I had a mask

[00:12:38] and I felt like I was good enough.

[00:12:40] No, that's another one too.

[00:12:41] Like behind my mask, it was a person who felt like, yo,

[00:12:44] is this good enough?

[00:12:47] I had a mask of...

[00:12:50] And my worthy of love.

[00:12:52] When?

[00:12:53] Yo, well, that's how I felt, though.

[00:12:56] I'm not saying this is a...

[00:12:58] I honestly just missed that.

[00:12:59] You just missed it.

[00:13:00] No, I missed it by the way.

[00:13:01] I just missed it by the way.

[00:13:02] You just missed it by the way.

[00:13:03] I know my verbiage changed.

[00:13:05] My verbiage has changed to...

[00:13:07] Look, so how do you feel like you're not...

[00:13:09] You're lying to...

[00:13:11] When?

[00:13:12] Explain.

[00:13:13] Elaborate.

[00:13:14] Um...

[00:13:16] Before...

[00:13:19] Before I move to Atlanta.

[00:13:22] Yeah.

[00:13:23] And then I just...

[00:13:24] I just just how I felt.

[00:13:25] Okay, I'm not saying...

[00:13:26] No.

[00:13:27] It is you are revealing your true identity.

[00:13:30] Yeah.

[00:13:31] You took the mask off.

[00:13:32] Okay.

[00:13:33] Okay.

[00:13:34] And it's crazy that you say that

[00:13:36] where...

[00:13:39] You would be around your people

[00:13:41] and not know the masks that they had on them.

[00:13:44] And now...

[00:13:46] I take my selfishness off of it

[00:13:49] or feeling like,

[00:13:50] damn, why you can't show me your real self?

[00:13:52] I throw used-boys this head in the third.

[00:13:54] And...

[00:13:56] And learning to accept that.

[00:13:58] Like, yo, it was your time to take the mask off.

[00:14:00] Because I did not know that you felt like

[00:14:02] you wasn't...

[00:14:03] Especially around that time

[00:14:04] you was in a situation before you went to Atlanta.

[00:14:06] Yeah, but you went to Atlanta.

[00:14:07] So why...

[00:14:09] I guess for me...

[00:14:11] It's more of that.

[00:14:12] It's more of that.

[00:14:13] That comes without.

[00:14:14] It just comes without.

[00:14:15] Like, that's literally what it is.

[00:14:17] I had to sit there and talk to Sabrina about just...

[00:14:19] It was just doubt.

[00:14:20] So I could say the same

[00:14:22] because in my mind,

[00:14:26] I felt like I was competing

[00:14:28] with what a person was used to.

[00:14:31] Mm.

[00:14:32] See?

[00:14:33] And we never really ever had that conversation

[00:14:35] on what she was used to.

[00:14:37] So in my mind, I'm thinking...

[00:14:38] I should do everything.

[00:14:40] I got to go above and beyond

[00:14:41] because she's used to this

[00:14:43] and that in the third,

[00:14:45] not knowing if my good enough was actually good enough.

[00:14:48] You know?

[00:14:49] And now you probably said the bar hell of a-

[00:14:51] Who knows?

[00:14:52] I don't know.

[00:14:53] Who knows?

[00:14:54] I may be hated.

[00:14:55] I mean, you know, but...

[00:14:56] At the same time...

[00:15:00] I know that going forward,

[00:15:03] I can't wear no mask.

[00:15:04] Mm-hmm.

[00:15:05] Because those thoughts...

[00:15:06] Yeah, those thoughts are still daunting.

[00:15:09] It's too daunting.

[00:15:10] And another thing is a check-in.

[00:15:13] Or relationship check-ins.

[00:15:15] Yeah, nice of check-in, yeah.

[00:15:17] Tell me more about that.

[00:15:18] I like that.

[00:15:19] Tell me more!

[00:15:20] Now you can't give a raise!

[00:15:21] Okay, relationship got...

[00:15:23] See, I was never...

[00:15:26] I was never to talk about shit

[00:15:29] after one point because I...

[00:15:31] Mm-hmm.

[00:15:32] Being my...

[00:15:33] I'm with you, but I'm in my own world,

[00:15:34] but I'm very with you.

[00:15:35] I'm really with you.

[00:15:36] Mm-hmm.

[00:15:37] The check-ins would be more of like,

[00:15:39] how's it going?

[00:15:40] How are we doing?

[00:15:41] Look, we work on.

[00:15:42] What do we really great at?

[00:15:43] Okay, cool.

[00:15:44] I like that it's also good stuff in it.

[00:15:46] Yeah, it's also good stuff in it.

[00:15:47] I feel like the check-ins could be like,

[00:15:48] oh, did I mind doing something wrong?

[00:15:49] Yeah.

[00:15:50] And it comes like that...

[00:15:52] Like that diary.

[00:15:53] Like that diary, right?

[00:15:54] All the bad stuff in it.

[00:15:55] How important is reassurance for you.

[00:15:57] Really important.

[00:15:58] Really important.

[00:15:59] No one knows.

[00:16:00] I'm doing something good.

[00:16:01] Because if I have...

[00:16:02] If I already have doubt in my head,

[00:16:04] I already think relationships are going to shit.

[00:16:06] I was like, mz.

[00:16:07] I feel like I don't crash the couple...

[00:16:09] Crash out a couple of times thinking that it was...

[00:16:12] The ship, the ship,

[00:16:15] that thinking ship was all bad when...

[00:16:18] It was a con.

[00:16:20] When a ship was all bad when a...

[00:16:21] It was a con.

[00:16:22] Yeah.

[00:16:23] My overthinking...

[00:16:24] How about this conversation with you right now currently

[00:16:26] in real time makes me think then?

[00:16:28] Like, did I...

[00:16:30] Because of this mask that I had on...

[00:16:33] And not showing how I truly felt was that the true demise...

[00:16:37] Of certain things that I wanted to maintain.

[00:16:41] You know, one thing I always think is like,

[00:16:43] bro, how many times have I self-sabotaged?

[00:16:45] And then just thinking about it like...

[00:16:50] Like, yo bro, do I self-sabotage everything like?

[00:16:53] I'm like, yeah, I've done some great stuff in my lifetime.

[00:16:57] Some amazing stuff.

[00:16:58] It's like, I'm like, yeah, I've done some great stuff in my lifetime.

[00:17:02] It's like...

[00:17:03] But some things like, yo, that self-sabotage, that situation.

[00:17:06] But now I don't dwell on it too much I believe,

[00:17:09] but how can I not make that happen again?

[00:17:11] That's literally it.

[00:17:13] That's my taking mask off.

[00:17:14] Yeah, and that's...

[00:17:15] Because whatever you did in that moment

[00:17:18] in reflecting of self-sabotaging,

[00:17:22] you realized was this truly me, this truly I felt,

[00:17:27] is this truly what I wanted to do,

[00:17:29] or though I felt like I had to do it to protect,

[00:17:31] whatever I'm trying to protect.

[00:17:33] So for me, yeah, bro, I just want to be in a space

[00:17:37] where my mask truly stay off.

[00:17:39] And whoever I'm giving, that's truly who I am in that moment.

[00:17:42] Instead of thugging it out, you know,

[00:17:47] at a point in time,

[00:17:49] I say this too because in the same way,

[00:17:51] where I realized that...

[00:17:54] I realized that you were...

[00:17:58] You just said about the Atlanta thing before Atlanta.

[00:18:01] We also had a friend who kind of sat us down last year

[00:18:05] and he was like, yo, we knew he was depressed.

[00:18:08] You know, he would indicate he was depressed on tweets

[00:18:11] and stuff like that.

[00:18:12] But he sat us down and he was like, yo bro,

[00:18:14] I ran through a lot of my bread.

[00:18:17] I'm like, yo bro, why are you gonna tell us, see?

[00:18:19] In my mom, that was me being selfish.

[00:18:21] Like, yo bro, we tell each other everything.

[00:18:23] But I ain't do better with realizing

[00:18:27] yo, he was taking off his mask.

[00:18:29] Because we knew he was carrying a heavy burden for man long

[00:18:34] and it was...

[00:18:35] And it was...

[00:18:36] It was really long.

[00:18:37] Tom and it was like, yo, he was still showing up for us

[00:18:42] and other people while wearing this mask.

[00:18:45] So it's kind of like...

[00:18:48] In that moment, I had to catch myself.

[00:18:51] You point into it.

[00:18:52] It's not the time to be asked and why he didn't tell us or why he didn't ask for help.

[00:18:56] He's finally telling us.

[00:18:58] But I do want him to know, like, yo, if you ever in that situation

[00:19:02] we will figure this out.

[00:19:04] Like, we don't have to...

[00:19:06] A bunch of people in a mask or eventually turn into a circus.

[00:19:09] You know, and...

[00:19:10] Shit, mask are a great party.

[00:19:11] Bigger fags.

[00:19:12] You know?

[00:19:13] And I kinda don't like those type of parties, neither.

[00:19:15] Because you don't know...

[00:19:16] I don't know who the fuck I'm talking to.

[00:19:21] You can say, yo, that's your fat way, hold on.

[00:19:26] Oh, oh, oh.

[00:19:27] Oh, oh.

[00:19:28] You're like, oh, oh!

[00:19:32] I'm awful, sir.

[00:19:33] I'm awful, I'm awful.

[00:19:35] Oh, that was bad for you.

[00:19:37] That's some L.A. shit.

[00:19:38] Don't put that on me.

[00:19:40] Don't put that on me.

[00:19:41] You know what I'm saying?

[00:19:42] I'm sorry.

[00:19:43] I'm sorry.

[00:19:44] I'm sorry.

[00:19:45] Every time L.A. can wear X-masks.

[00:19:46] Don't put that on me.

[00:19:47] But, you know, for real, like...

[00:19:49] You are a bunch of people.

[00:19:51] You are around a bunch of people.

[00:19:52] When a mask, you don't know who's who.

[00:19:54] Everybody seems to be enjoying themselves.

[00:19:56] Nah, it's not an ain't right, you know?

[00:19:59] But, you know, when a person finally takes off their mask,

[00:20:03] don't be selfish to think, oh, why are you...

[00:20:07] Why am I now finding out?

[00:20:08] You don't trust me enough to really make it...

[00:20:11] You're making it about yourself.

[00:20:12] That is not about you.

[00:20:13] Yeah, that is not about you.

[00:20:15] Just be happy that they finally are feeling it.

[00:20:17] You know, put your feelings aside, hit them out.

[00:20:19] Because eventually you want them to at least be able

[00:20:22] to keep the mask off.

[00:20:23] You know what?

[00:20:24] Because when shit like that happens,

[00:20:26] where I express myself,

[00:20:28] and somebody makes whatever I'm expressing myself about them...

[00:20:30] Yeah, I don't express myself.

[00:20:31] I put that mask right back on.

[00:20:33] So now, when I tell you something is wrong

[00:20:35] and you make it about you,

[00:20:37] and next time you ask me, what's wrong

[00:20:39] and you think I'm gonna tell you?

[00:20:40] No, I'm fine.

[00:20:42] I'm fine.

[00:20:43] But, I know I shouldn't be around somebody

[00:20:46] who I have to do that.

[00:20:48] Mm-hmm.

[00:20:50] So you gotta think about it, you know...

[00:20:54] You want to take a mask off,

[00:20:56] but then your environment forces you

[00:20:59] to keep it on because you don't feel seen.

[00:21:02] Because that's another thing,

[00:21:03] you take a mask off.

[00:21:04] You get to see the real you.

[00:21:06] I get to see who you really are.

[00:21:08] And it may not be pretty,

[00:21:10] but at least I'm seeing.

[00:21:11] I know who you are.

[00:21:12] I feel like that's...

[00:21:13] And if I feel unseen by you,

[00:21:15] I'm always...

[00:21:16] You never gonna get the real version of me.

[00:21:20] I want to be the real version of you,

[00:21:22] but you put me in a predicament

[00:21:23] where I have to pretend to be somebody else.

[00:21:27] Have you ever thought about...

[00:21:29] The mask your parents had to put on?

[00:21:32] All the time.

[00:21:34] Yo, I'm...

[00:21:36] Especially the parents that stayed for the children.

[00:21:39] Yes, like me and my mom were talking.

[00:21:41] I'm just like, I'm talking to her now.

[00:21:43] She recognized I'm an adult.

[00:21:45] Mm-hmm.

[00:21:46] I'm talking to her now, I was like, yo...

[00:21:49] You used to come in the house smiling, but you're a boy.

[00:21:51] I could see that wasn't...

[00:21:52] Yeah.

[00:21:54] You noticed that I stayed a little bit around on the front.

[00:21:56] I'm very observant, dog.

[00:21:57] Just having that conversation when I was like, yo...

[00:21:59] I thought I was the only one in this house wearing a mask.

[00:22:01] My brother about shit would be like,

[00:22:03] remember this one when we went through

[00:22:05] and it's like, yo, what the fuck?

[00:22:07] Like you don't know who...

[00:22:09] Like we always say you know who your parents are

[00:22:11] when you get older.

[00:22:12] You know that you see them as actual humans.

[00:22:13] It's like, yo...

[00:22:14] Mm-hmm.

[00:22:15] It's just fucking sick.

[00:22:16] I think that was my first realization of what a...

[00:22:19] having a mask going really looks like in my household.

[00:22:22] I feel like...

[00:22:27] I know what I mean, but I want to wear it a little bit better.

[00:22:30] But I do feel like the best parents or parents that are healthy

[00:22:34] and happy.

[00:22:35] So if that means y'all splitting up

[00:22:38] and y'all find true happiness

[00:22:40] and then you could pour into us.

[00:22:42] Oh, me?

[00:22:43] I don't...

[00:22:44] I'm not so certain.

[00:22:46] I mean obviously there are legal ramifications for the forces

[00:22:49] that people might stay for that too.

[00:22:51] But you know, it's a quote-unquote cheaper to keep them.

[00:22:54] You know, because we can't say her

[00:22:56] because you know, they might come after us.

[00:22:58] Oh...

[00:22:59] I'll give me out of here.

[00:23:00] I'll give you out of here.

[00:23:01] I'll just go ahead three days ago.

[00:23:02] But no, it may be cheaper to keep them

[00:23:05] and stay for the kids.

[00:23:08] But you create it and...

[00:23:10] A fireman.

[00:23:11] It's like unhappy.

[00:23:13] Everybody's unhappy now.

[00:23:14] So...

[00:23:15] Now we're all lashing out each other.

[00:23:16] So can you imagine if, you know,

[00:23:18] not necessarily you or me

[00:23:20] but two parents split.

[00:23:22] They found their love for their lives.

[00:23:24] Now, you have four parents

[00:23:26] that actually care about you and loving

[00:23:28] opposed to two people who stayed as just in it.

[00:23:31] I do have your white families.

[00:23:32] Hmm?

[00:23:33] I do have your white families.

[00:23:34] And won't go.

[00:23:36] No, no, I'll tell you what to say.

[00:23:39] I'm bomb.

[00:23:41] No, well yeah, I'll tell you what to say.

[00:23:43] So yeah, you know?

[00:23:44] So...

[00:23:45] Yeah, then how many people I know

[00:23:46] that got a mask on?

[00:23:47] Probably everybody.

[00:23:49] Probably everybody.

[00:23:51] I feel like people who are happy all the time...

[00:23:55] It's something to foot.

[00:23:56] Yeah, for sure.

[00:23:58] For sure.

[00:23:59] Or I receive that?

[00:24:02] If you are happy, I am happy for you.

[00:24:05] And I would love to get to that point.

[00:24:07] Yeah, it's it.

[00:24:08] If it's genuine.

[00:24:09] But those people, y'all...

[00:24:11] How you feel about people who talk about...

[00:24:14] Damn.

[00:24:17] What's this shit that people are like?

[00:24:19] Oh, yo, you upset all the time.

[00:24:21] You never got any good days.

[00:24:22] Hmm.

[00:24:23] I hear you but...

[00:24:26] I don't know where I stand on that.

[00:24:30] I don't know where I stand on that

[00:24:32] because people be having dark moments.

[00:24:34] I feel like I'm in a cool fit.

[00:24:36] And who are you to count the days

[00:24:38] of how long they're unhappy for?

[00:24:40] We really...

[00:24:41] And if people are wearing wearing masks, right?

[00:24:44] Then we really don't know what...

[00:24:46] What if that person's actually really showing

[00:24:48] who they actually are?

[00:24:49] But...

[00:24:50] Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[00:24:51] It's like...

[00:24:52] Going over them.

[00:24:53] Put up at the same time I understand

[00:24:55] like you absorbing that.

[00:24:56] Yeah, it's like...

[00:24:57] It may feel like...

[00:24:58] You may have a great day.

[00:24:59] Yo, I had a great day and they talking about

[00:25:02] it and they feel like their vibrations

[00:25:04] is bringing down.

[00:25:05] So I just don't know where I stand on that,

[00:25:08] but at the same time,

[00:25:09] that's me being more empathetic

[00:25:11] because I...

[00:25:14] I feel bad that life is bad for you.

[00:25:17] And...

[00:25:18] But I don't want to wear a mask

[00:25:20] because life is good for me.

[00:25:22] You know?

[00:25:23] Be yourself.

[00:25:24] I feel like that should...

[00:25:25] That should uplift you.

[00:25:26] Even with going on like...

[00:25:27] Whatever's going on in my life right now.

[00:25:29] Seeing my friends happy,

[00:25:31] what happened to Joe the other day?

[00:25:32] Seeing my happy with my men.

[00:25:33] What happened to Joe the other day?

[00:25:34] He's on the call, he's on the call.

[00:25:35] He's on the call.

[00:25:36] He's on the call the other day.

[00:25:38] What I miss...

[00:25:40] No?

[00:25:41] It's so quiet at no time.

[00:25:42] But Joe had a cut of call.

[00:25:44] Oh, yeah.

[00:25:45] I think it's got a...

[00:25:46] It's got a...

[00:25:47] It just got me old group chat when I was like,

[00:25:48] that's crazy!

[00:25:49] You see how fast, dude?

[00:25:51] No, even Joe...

[00:25:53] Even Skrill is going to New Orleans.

[00:25:55] I'm going to...

[00:25:56] I love seeing that.

[00:25:57] That looks my spirit.

[00:25:58] Facts, even though I say I'm bullying,

[00:26:00] but seeing my men in blissful love.

[00:26:03] Joe, that's telling you!

[00:26:04] I'm telling you.

[00:26:05] I'm telling you.

[00:26:06] I'm telling you.

[00:26:07] You know what?

[00:26:08] I'm telling you.

[00:26:09] You know what?

[00:26:10] I'm telling you.

[00:26:11] I'm telling you.

[00:26:12] You know what?

[00:26:13] I didn't see no names.

[00:26:14] But yo...

[00:26:15] There's only thing I saw in that side of the room.

[00:26:17] But nobody's in the room.

[00:26:19] Everybody listening.

[00:26:20] All right, you all right.

[00:26:21] It's so cool, right?

[00:26:22] I know.

[00:26:23] I'm right in.

[00:26:24] He said your full name earlier.

[00:26:26] But I know the shit he been through for the most part

[00:26:31] and him getting to this journey.

[00:26:33] So to see him in this...

[00:26:36] I'm mad happy for him, bro.

[00:26:39] I never...

[00:26:41] I never ever see you act like this before.

[00:26:44] At y'all who it is though.

[00:26:46] Not me!

[00:26:47] Not me!

[00:26:49] And it's kind of cool that you see...

[00:26:53] Elevation, no?

[00:26:54] You know, the growth...

[00:26:55] Not even elevation.

[00:26:56] Him without the mask.

[00:26:59] Also this is what you look had eyes.

[00:27:02] But that was him with the...

[00:27:03] That was him with the two-and-soul of them.

[00:27:05] Or with the mask?

[00:27:06] No, that was him without the mask.

[00:27:08] That's who he really is.

[00:27:10] That's who he really is.

[00:27:11] But not to see him just be excited.

[00:27:15] You know, makes me excited.

[00:27:18] I'm so excited.

[00:27:19] I'm so excited.

[00:27:20] I just can't hide it.

[00:27:21] He can't hide it.

[00:27:22] He's a little bit of students.

[00:27:23] Even if he tried it, he can't hide it.

[00:27:26] I love love, man.

[00:27:27] I love love.

[00:27:28] You know?

[00:27:29] I can't...

[00:27:30] I can't even imagine what the...

[00:27:32] You know how every artist has a muse.

[00:27:35] And they dedicate their art to their...

[00:27:38] Significant other.

[00:27:39] Or whoever their muse is.

[00:27:40] What's gonna be a design?

[00:27:41] Can you imagine what the next collection is going to be now that he is in this space?

[00:27:46] Oh, man!

[00:27:47] I can't wait.

[00:27:48] You know what I'm gonna do?

[00:27:50] You got your jacket?

[00:27:52] I ain't getting my jacket.

[00:27:53] You know what I mean?

[00:27:54] I'm so weird like, well, I see the stuff you see.

[00:27:58] But now for real, like...

[00:28:04] I'm happy that like I can see my people be who they really are.

[00:28:09] You know?

[00:28:10] That's beautiful though.

[00:28:11] Yeah.

[00:28:12] That's why I kinda like, you know, I know I probably...

[00:28:17] My approach was probably harsh.

[00:28:20] I know what you're neighbor.

[00:28:22] But I know he don't win his mask well.

[00:28:29] Oh!

[00:28:30] Hey guys.

[00:28:31] And you could see the life Paul's being sucked out of him.

[00:28:36] And once you know somebody at their happiest,

[00:28:40] and you see them kinda like deteriorating,

[00:28:43] like he doesn't understand that like he's visibly dying.

[00:28:47] Like not that wise, but like...

[00:28:50] It's spirit.

[00:28:51] It's spirit.

[00:28:52] It's spirit is really depleted.

[00:28:54] So it's kinda that's why we push him like go.

[00:28:57] One, that's why I don't...

[00:28:59] That's why we were talking about,

[00:29:01] I don't know what side of the fence of how many sad days we want to have

[00:29:05] because we kind of know where the root of it.

[00:29:07] And you know what the recovery entails.

[00:29:09] But you gotta be careful when you push.

[00:29:11] You gotta nudge, don't push.

[00:29:12] Yeah.

[00:29:13] That's what it talks us.

[00:29:14] When you follow somebody,

[00:29:16] and you go and assess them.

[00:29:17] And you nudge them.

[00:29:18] You know what Facebook was like,

[00:29:20] poke them.

[00:29:21] But you can't poke up.

[00:29:23] I see what you're doing.

[00:29:25] You futuristic.

[00:29:26] You work at marketing.

[00:29:27] Thanks, cool, thank you.

[00:29:28] But now yeah, you should nudge them.

[00:29:31] Give them a lot of...

[00:29:32] You know, nudge, you'll bro.

[00:29:33] You're not by yourself, bro.

[00:29:34] Yeah, you're not by yourself.

[00:29:35] I mean, I'm gonna talk to them like,

[00:29:37] you're not by yourself, man.

[00:29:38] We should chop it up.

[00:29:39] Yeah, so maybe that to help us somebody show that,

[00:29:43] because I don't want him to feel like he got put his mask on with me

[00:29:46] because I may come off too harsh.

[00:29:48] My delivery is too harsh.

[00:29:49] Like when you...

[00:29:50] Like when somebody that you know is going through something

[00:29:52] you've been through,

[00:29:53] take off your mask and you show them like,

[00:29:54] yo.

[00:29:55] Mm-hmm.

[00:29:56] Spotted me.

[00:29:57] Spotted me.

[00:29:58] Like that's...

[00:29:59] I've been through that, bro.

[00:30:00] Yeah, because some people may think

[00:30:02] because of whatever mask you got on

[00:30:04] that you never been do anything.

[00:30:06] When you take it off, y'all,

[00:30:07] I went through this.

[00:30:08] I know exactly how you feel.

[00:30:09] It kinda...

[00:30:10] You kinda set the anxiety and the anxiousness down

[00:30:13] and you leave room for comfortability

[00:30:15] to have those conversations like, yo.

[00:30:18] So what did you do?

[00:30:20] I went through this and my transparency...

[00:30:23] That's what I'm saying.

[00:30:24] You never know the hurt that you've been through

[00:30:27] may be the healing for somebody else.

[00:30:28] Well, fine.

[00:30:29] It may be the medicine to somebody else's pain.

[00:30:31] Like these are the mistakes I made.

[00:30:32] Don't make these mistakes.

[00:30:33] You are better than what I did.

[00:30:34] Yeah, yeah, facts.

[00:30:35] And this is what I learned from it.

[00:30:37] You know, I'm not gonna just tell you all about it.

[00:30:39] I'm gonna tell you what the recovery looks like.

[00:30:41] You know, it gets lonely sometimes

[00:30:43] but I'm a much happier person.

[00:30:46] So yeah, take that mask off when you're ready

[00:30:49] when you feel safe too.

[00:30:50] Or if you realize you constantly got to keep a mask off,

[00:30:53] maybe you change your spaces.

[00:30:54] That's what facts.

[00:30:55] Absolutely.

[00:30:56] Damn, another therapeutic session.

[00:30:58] And listen,

[00:30:59] I don't know how much of these I got left,

[00:31:01] but...

[00:31:02] They're gonna enjoy them.

[00:31:03] I talked to Sabrina.

[00:31:04] Me and Sabrina are brainstorming on the wall.

[00:31:07] Facts.

[00:31:08] Put me on the call, you know?

[00:31:09] I got you.

[00:31:10] But it's never a beautiful day here, man.

[00:31:12] What's good guy complex?

[00:31:14] You know, down piece.

[00:31:16] He's down the camera guy.

[00:31:17] What should I say?

[00:31:18] Oh, you can follow me at StayFocusLA or Instagram or Twitter.

[00:31:21] Don't forget to like, comment, subscribe.

[00:31:23] For all things, what's a good guy coming out every Monday at 8 a.m.

[00:31:26] Or what's a good guy.com?

[00:31:27] You can watch us on YouTube because we look really, really dashing.

[00:31:30] I think this is the best we've looked since we started the pod.

[00:31:33] Yeah.

[00:31:35] You can send your questions to us on Instagram and Twitter and TikTok.

[00:31:40] TikToks.

[00:31:41] Yeah, you're asked a good guy questions.

[00:31:45] And yeah, that's it.

[00:31:47] I don't think I got anything else.

[00:31:48] Oh, once again, thank you to Scrills, Coach O's his,

[00:31:51] Quanny is here,

[00:31:53] Preach on the vocals.

[00:31:55] We would love to have you in studio when you're not...

[00:31:57] When you have a break

[00:31:59] from taking care of young saint.

[00:32:01] You know, shout out to Ema.

[00:32:03] Yeah, I'm old too.

[00:32:05] Nah, I'm a fucker.

[00:32:06] Shout out to Ema, man.

[00:32:08] Shout out to Ema.

[00:32:09] She's been highly supportive.

[00:32:10] She's pushing the pod.

[00:32:11] Appreciate you.

[00:32:12] Yeah, appreciate you.

[00:32:13] Remember she gave us that word in the own backyard.

[00:32:15] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:32:17] Yeah, I know she's a job, though.

[00:32:20] She don't pop with us.

[00:32:21] Ema was very encouraging words, man.

[00:32:24] So shout out to Ema, shout out to sister Shima

[00:32:26] and her other sister, I'm not sure I would say.

[00:32:28] I'm a fronting, they all look alike.

[00:32:30] I don't know if it rhymes with the Ema, though.

[00:32:33] Shima, Ema, Ema.

[00:32:35] Yeah, let's get out of here.

[00:32:37] Yeah, Wavy Inet, Scrill's Joe God Game.

[00:32:40] Yeah, San Deer, New York.

[00:32:42] Uh, Dazzy knows best and...

[00:32:44] JSM.

[00:32:45] JSM, hospitality.

[00:32:47] We are right now, it is, man.

[00:32:50] Yeah, stay cool.

[00:32:51] I'd be cool.

[00:32:52] We love him.

[00:32:53] God is good, baby.